Facebook usage

[Maxwell]

I met this chick at this party a few weeks back; we danced, exchanged numbers, and kissed. (my 1st proper one) I approached her when she was playing pool, and broke the ice by taking up her offer to take her shot, (I'd never played before) and sucking at it; we both had a laugh. Thinking back, this may have made me look hopeless/incompetent, but it worked. Later, when we danced, she said I was "fun." However, I lost track of her in the crowd at closing time.

I sent her a few texts/calls, being careful to leave gaps in between and not look desperate. After a week with no reply, i forgot about her. Then, just tonight, she texted me, saying she was really busy lately, and asked me to add her on facebook, which I've done.

Here's my dilemma; is this likely to land me in the "friend zone"? Does using facebook to communicate with her imply platonic friendship, or make me look AFC? Is it less effective compared to phoine conversation? Should I not contact her via facebook, or only a little? Should I keep in contact via the phone? (Tho fb is cheaper...)

 

[Leporello]

whoah, she asked YOU to add HER on Facebook? why couldn't she do it herself?

Alarm bells...

 

[Maxwell]

She asked for my facebook first, but my name's too common, there were hundreds. On the other hand, her name's pretty unusual, so it was easy to lock down.

 

[Skydiver43127]

whoah, she asked YOU to add HER on Facebook? why couldn't she do it herself?

Alarm bells...

I'm getting tired of seeing comments like this. It's like:
OH NO, SHE DELAYED 5 SECONDS IN HER RESPONCE TO HIM!!!? WHAT SHALL WE DO? THIS IS A HUGE DISRESPECT! ALARM BELLS!!! CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD!!!

On the real issue - communicate with her as is convenient for you. I personally don't find Facebook very convenient for messaging and use chat/phone instead. That's because I want it to be so. If I liked Facebook, I'd use Facebook. The only thing that can put you in the friend zone is using Facebook simply because she wants you to.

 

[Ease]

You shouldnt have added her on facebook. Your chasing her around like a little puppy and jumping through her on hoops. Was it your first proper kiss?

She wont friendzone you because of facebook, but she'll friendzone you if u act so passive and nothing happens between you. Your supposed to be in control. Ok she didnt reply to the texts at first which was bad, but she texted u now so its a bit of hope.

Get this girl out on a date, asap before you've lost all momentum. She told u to add her on facebook, but dont contact her through facebook. Dont play by her rules, phone her up if possible and get her on a first date. If u cant find the testicles to phone her, then text.

Dont buy this bull**** that shes too busy to text back or use a phone and 'facebook' is easier, you play by your own rules and u keep control.

Personally i wud have my doubts if she is still interested in you enough to accept a first date and show up, but make it informal if u need to, to take the pressure off. As long as you get her out u can pull the trigger and make the move. Meet up with her somehow!

 

[Sofomore]

hey man dont trip over it. you are over analyzing.

I had a very similar situation this sunday actually. Met a girl at a frat party, danced with her, made out then got her number. This girl was all over my nuts.

Eventually I told her that I had to go, and she kind of gave me those "But...wait...dont you want to **** the **** out of me?" eyes. I told her we could kick it later in the week when I wasn't busy.

Basically she added me on facebook after, and nothing has changed. There isnt a reason for things to change. Yea, she probably knows a lot more about me now, but so what. All she knows is im a fun guy to be around who can turn her on like a light switch.

Just relax man. Its all going to be good. Ignore any of her little **** tests like not calling back. Remember you're a Don Juan.

 

[Sofomore]

Oh ****, did you say it was your first kiss?

Also, just use the phone. The internet is a great way to **** up a relationship. You dont want to land the friend zone by talking to her non-stop instead of seeing her.

 

[Maxwell]

Oh ****, did you say it was your first kiss?
Also, just use the phone. The internet is a great way to **** up a relationship. You dont want to land the friend zone by talking to her non-stop instead of seeing her.

Yes, I did, and that's the main point I was afraid of; that the way things like chat function would cause too much communication and ruin any sense of mystery and limited availability that I have in my favour at present.

I'm not aiming for a serious LTR, more of a casual sex/friendship thing.

Thing is, in keeping with the Don Juan mindset I've been learning, I pursued other girls instead of pining after her, and I've picked up 3 other chick's numbers since we met. There's a college party tomorrow night; if more than one shows up, should I focus on just one, or will that put off any others who may be there?

 

[Sofomore]

Yes, I did, and that's the main point I was afraid of; that the way things like chat function would cause too much communication and ruin any sense of mystery and limited availability that I have in my favour at present.

I'm not aiming for a serious LTR, more of a casual sex/friendship thing.

Thing is, in keeping with the Don Juan mindset I've been learning, I pursued other girls instead of pining after her, and I've picked up 3 other chick's numbers since we met. There's a college party tomorrow night; if more than one shows up, should I focus on just one, or will that put off any others who may be there?

Ok man, this is the point in life where you are going to learn a LOT. Its going to be rough, you need to accept that things probably won't work out the way you want.

So your goal is to lose your virginity or become friends? I put that in bold because if you have the mindset to become friends, you will.

Heres what you need to do:
1. Forget all of your fears about having sex for the first time. Getting ridiculed for being a virgin doesnt happen. You need to have the powerful mindset that SEX is on your mind, and you have no fears of going into uncharted territory.
2. Don't talk to these girls on the internet. Just stay off chat if you have to. If they IM you just say, hey sorry ive got to go (make up an excuse). As much as you want to talk to them, DONT.
3. At the party just stay flirty with the girls. Theres a big chance one will get jealous (in a good way), and it will increase her attraction for you. You make the call on which you choose though.
4. Don't get a girls number in front of another girl. Its rude, and you will be labeled an a$$hole.

Good luck man, you are going to learn a lot in the next few weeks of your life.

 

[user43770]

Chicks usually have dozens of guys hitting on them on FB. You'd be a lot better off calling her and setting yourself apart from the pack. Also, she'll have a hard time giving you the run around if you talk to her on the phone.

 

[Maxwell]

Ok man, this is the point in life where you are going to learn a LOT. Its going to be rough, you need to accept that things probably won't work out the way you want.
So your goal is to lose your virginity or become friends? I put that in bold because if you have the mindset to become friends, you will.

That's the thing; I do really want to nail this girl, (she's a 22-year-old HB8, for the record) but at the same time, I wouldn't mind also staying on amiable terms with her, as she's just a cool, nice person who's fun to be around.

That said, I definitely don't want a committed relationship, (I'm too young to resign my freedom, dammit! ) and I don't have oneitis/true love for her.

Long and short of it is, "friends with benefits" would be my ideal choice.

 

[Energizer]

I try and steer away from facebook, but here is a scenario I want the answers for, if you cannot get a girls digits at work because you and her are always busy, is it acceptable to send her a PM asking for her contact number or is that too AFCish?

 

[jimbobham]

I try and steer away from facebook, but here is a scenario I want the answers for, if you cannot get a girls digits at work because you and her are always busy, is it acceptable to send her a PM asking for her contact number or is that too AFCish?

Worst case, she ignores you.

 

[Swashbuckler]

That's the thing; I do really want to nail this girl, (she's a 22-year-old HB8, for the record) but at the same time, I wouldn't mind also staying on amiable terms with her, as she's just a cool, nice person who's fun to be around.

That said, I definitely don't want a committed relationship, (I'm too young to resign my freedom, dammit! ) and I don't have oneitis/true love for her.

Long and short of it is, "friends with benefits" would be my ideal choice.

You aren't going to get a girl to be "friends with benefits" until you are GOOD at sex. Seriously, the girl has to be OK knowing she doesn't have you, and on top of that realize that she never will. HOWEVER, she knows that the sex is worth the pain.

I doubt your bed skills as a virgin can get her in that mindset.

Just don't go into this with a mindset. I've learned many things, and I've realized that mindsets are for chumps. Each guy and girl is different, don't over think things. If you just want to chill with her, go for it. If it escalates to the bed, go for it. If she wants to be bf/gf, then tell her how you feel.

DON'T HAVE this "Idealistic" mindset of how things are going to go.