Facebook is your friend!

[drak_ool]

I've noticed that on the main forum facebook bashing is a close second to women bashing. Haters saying it's a waste of time and energy, it will never help you, it's just for superficial people, etc...

However, FB is just another playing field. There's guys bashing day game, night game, bar game, club game but notice one thing they have in common: they svck at it or don't understand the underlying mechanics. Good facebook game is just another tool to add to your skills set. If you're not comfortable employing don't, but it is important to understand how it works and why it works.

I'm not advocating creating an artificial projection of yourself through facebook in order to attract chicks. The main reason I use FB is that I have over 600-700 friends and acquaintances who live away from my current state (I moved around a lot). I don't advocate adding random girls and trying to game them, simply keeping it to people you meet in real life.

As I mentioned in another thread, FB helps you with chick based on the principle of pre-selection. Simply put, having pictures of you with hot chicks, or with your friends in cool venues or doing interesting activities, gets you noticed by girls. That translates into interests from these girls in real life.

BUT, facebook is only an extension of your life. If you have a boring life, no amount of fiddling with your profile will make it seem like you're a rockstar. Actually the only advice I have to give you to improve your profile is to remove pictures of you that DLV you, as well as erasing all those nerdy comments your friends from engineering school are posting on your wall.

Some of the common criticisms I hear about FB revolve around how it doesn't allow you to keep the "mystery" about yourself.

As far as the "mystery" argument, it's bullsh1t. The 18-32 female demographic is on FB in proportion of 95%. If you're not on it, you're out of sight. And out of sight is out of mind, not "mysterious." What do you think gets a girl thinking more (and getting more interested in you in the process): when she sees 3 pics of you with three different babes, or when she looks you up and can't find you? When she sees pics of you mountain climbing/surfing/skydiving etc or when she can't find you? That's the kind of mystery you want to generate about yourself if you want girls to notice.

Some real life examples: 2 of my current plates initially contacted me on FB. These are not girls that I didn't know, simply girls I didn't get to hook up with and kind of lost touch. No effort on my part, simply putting pics up from a Lakers game got one's attention, while the other contacted me after I updated my current city to LA (where she also lives). We met in real life and now are hooking up. Tomorrow I m going on a date with a girl who contacted me after one of my plates put some sexy pics of us from last wknd. 2 other girls also contacted me after those pics went up.

If you do it right, with minimum effort on your part FB can dramatically improve your success. What's to hate about that?

 

[Bible_Belt]

I agree.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

A girl will take a hot guy over a "mysterious" guy.

Any day.

Anytime.

lol :crackup:

 

[drak_ool]

A girl will take a hot guy over a "mysterious" guy.

Exactly! and remember that for girls "hot" has a social component, of which pre-selection is a huge part. Hence, FB can help you look "hotter"

 

[MisterD]

A girl will take a hot guy over a "mysterious" guy.

Any day.

Anytime.

lol :crackup:

not true if the mysterious guy is equally attractive

bottom line--facebook works for some and doesn't for others

do what works for you

 

[JohnChops]

personally, i hate facebook. its a waste of time when you could be spending that time on facebook doing something more productive with your life. Just my 2 cents

 

[sstype]

No offense man but I think deleting comments from a friend b/c they may lower your Facebook social stock is douchey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsQ1jbnuj-Y&feature=related

And if you're an attractive guy with a fun, exciting life.....then you should have no problems getting laid with or without Facebook.

 

[Deep Dish]

I’ve gotten a bang from Facebook, so yeah it can work, but it’s a minefield.

For one thing, chicks often have 200, 400, 800+ friends, and 300 seems to be the common minimum. That is too much attention; you need to neg hit harder and be more sarcastic. When you post new pictures which demonstrate high value, chances are it won’t even be seen because with so many friends it flies off their newsfeed in no time; and what working man with a career has time to keep up with that “shït?” And yeah, it works if you have pictures of you with many ladies, but if you don’t then it works against you.

If you meet a chick and have the option between going for her digits or her Facebook, going for her digits is better, because it’s more invasive of her private life, the path of greater resistance and rejection (thus test of interest), and you get a better read on/conveyance of vocal inflections/tonality. Circa 2000, Anti-Dump wrote in “The Perfect Don Juan,”

He asks for a girl's phone number when he FIRST meets or sees her. Not one month later.

He always asks for the HOME phone number. He walks away if he doesn't get it.

Of course, chicks don’t have home phones anymore, but the principle remains the same: the path of most resistance is the best. When a chick meets a fascinating guy, she won’t want him to walk out of her life, so the threat of disappearance and rejection is more pressing. Facebook is a buffer, insulation against rejection. To quote Rollo Tomassi,

90% of the dilemmas AFCs and rAFCs find themselves in, and a majority of men’s concerns, with the opposite sex find their roots in the methods and means they use to reduce their exposure to female rejection. These are buffers meant to reduce the potential for this rejection of intimacy. Men of course aren’t the only ones who use buffers – women have their share as well – but I think it would be much more productive for guys to recognize this propensity in themselves and see the methods they use, and often ego-invest in their personal psychologies, to buffer themselves against rejection.

Emails, IMs and Texts - I should also add lengthy phone conversations to this list as well, but really any technology that seemingly increases communication serves as a buffer (for both genders) the more it limits interpersonal communication. In the AFC case, the rationalization is that it keeps him in constant contact with his sex interest (which in and of itself is a mistake), but only serves as a buffer against her rejection. The latent perception being that it’s easier to read a rejection (or hear one) than to potentially be rejected in person. A lot of guys will counter this with how Texts and IM’s are just how this generation plies its Game. The difference I’d argue is that when digital communication becomes your preferred method of interacting with women, it’s a buffer.

Facebook & Online Dating - This one should be fairly obvious for the same reasons as above. Online dating is perhaps the best buffer ever conceived – particularly for less than physically ideal women. In fact it’s so effective that businesses can be built upon the common insecurities and fear of rejection of both sexes.

It’s true the sixth law of power is

Law 6: Court Attention at all Cost
Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing. Never let yourself get lost in the crowd, then, or buried in oblivion. Stand out. Be conspicuous, at all cost. Make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, more mysterious, than the bland and timid masses.​

but

Law 16: Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.​

 

[Trump]

Think you are confusing hate with frustration. People don't usually hate anything, but get jealous or frustrated when they can't get the desired results, facebook being one of them.

Whatever avenue used to have sex with girls doesn't matter, as long as its legal and you are happy with yourself.

 

[Zerro]

BUT, facebook is only an extension of your life. If you have a boring life, no amount of fiddling with your profile will make it seem like you're a rockstar. Actually the only advice I have to give you to improve your profile is to remove pictures of you that DLV you, as well as erasing all those nerdy comments your friends from engineering school are posting on your wall.

Some of the common criticisms I hear about FB revolve around how it doesn't allow you to keep the "mystery" about yourself.

Exactly, Facebook should be supplementing your game and "mystery" doesn't mean being a blank slate either. You need to put some info out there to retain the chicks interest in the first place, by no means make everything public but if you don't let them know anything about you they'll be put off. Being too much of a mystery can actually be rather creepy to people.

 

[Jariel]

I agree with the OP too. Facebook has been great for me and is a great way to break the ice with someone you don't get chance to talk to from day to day.

I also agree with what you say about the haters. A lot of frustrated guys on here who fail in various aspects then try undermine the success of others and act as if they have ultimate wisdom.

 

[sstype]

Exactly, Facebook should be supplementing your game and "mystery" doesn't mean being a blank slate either. You need to put some info out there to retain the chicks interest in the first place, by no means make everything public but if you don't let them know anything about you they'll be put off. Being too much of a mystery can actually be rather creepy to people.

So not wanting to divulge your personal details/beliefs, who you associate with, and pictures to some random broad is now considered "creepy"?

http://www.schneier.com/essay-114.html

Watch someone long enough, and you'll find something to arrest -- or just blackmail -- with. Privacy is important because without it, surveillance information will be abused: to peep, to sell to marketers and to spy on political enemies -- whoever they happen to be at the time.

Privacy protects us from abuses by those in power, even if we're doing nothing wrong at
the time of surveillance.

We do nothing wrong when we make love or go to the bathroom. We are not deliberately hiding anything when we seek out private places for reflection or conversation. We keep private journals, sing in the privacy of the shower, and write letters to secret lovers and then burn them. Privacy is a basic human need.

The posters who bash those of us who oppose Facebook only reinforce why I deleted it in the first place. Why would I want to be a part of a website (and that’s all it is) which causes so much dependency and social anxiety? It’s all about self-promotion, especially with the Check-in feature – I want everyone to know that I go out and I’m going to tag people so people know I have friends!

And what will I do when I’m out to dinner with my friends and no one is talking because they’re all looking down at their iPhones? I don’t know, but at least my life won’t be reduced to a four-inch screen.

 

[drak_ool]

Deep Dish, I certainly value your advice and contribution to this website. In fact, you are one of the original posters that got me hooked on SS back when I joined. However, I don't think that making an issue seem black and white is constructive to debate...

I’ve gotten a bang from Facebook, so yeah it can work, but it’s a minefield.

change "Facebook" with "night clubs" and you could say the exact same thing.

one thing, chicks often have 200, 400, 800+ friends, and 300 seems to be the common minimum. That is too much attention; you need to neg hit harder and be more sarcastic. When you post new pictures which demonstrate high value, chances are it won’t even be seen because with so many friends it flies off their newsfeed in no time; and what working man with a career has time to keep up with that “shït?” And yeah, it works if you have pictures of you with many ladies, but if you don’t then it works against you.

The vast majority of my pics are posted by friends or girls. As I said, the only time investment I make into my profile is removing stuff that is just retarded. As far as the last sentence, the idea behind learning game is that you will improve, so hopefully in the (near) future, guys on SS will get more and more pics with them and hot chicks.

you meet a chick and have the option between going for her digits or her Facebook, going for her digits is better

With all due respect, this is where I think you use a straw man. I never advocated only using FB over getting numbers. Instead you can do both EASILY. I actually never "facebook-close" a girl unless she's foreign and doesn't have a cell phone here in the US (which got me laid with a brazilian babe about 2 months ago). When I put her number in my cell, I simply ask for her last name as well. When I add her on FB, I can already judge her interest level by how fast she accepts, if she messages me something right away, etc.

I agree with what you're saying about not using the path of least resistance, and I would certainly disprove of using FB as your SOLE avenue for chasing women. Just saying that with a minimal effort on your part, it can help you.

Interesting how in the 48 Rules of Power rule 6 and rule 16 seem almost mutually exclusive. I think that's an act you gotta balance in life in general, not just on FB. But you can be absent from a girl's weekend, yet she sees pics of you having fun/hanging out with other babes online and that certainly gets her hamster spinning!

 

[drak_ool]

The posters who bash those of us who oppose Facebook only reinforce why I deleted it in the first place.

I'm not bashing you, simply trying to open your eyes to a (growing) aspect of Game, which you can use to your advantage with minimal effort and great results. Just trying to expand your horizons, same as if you told me gaming in clubs is a waste of time, or that day game is impossible to pull off, I d be here arguing against that because I don't see the positive in limiting yourself in your pursuit of chicks.

It’s all about self-promotion, especially with the Check-in feature – I want everyone to know that I go out and I’m going to tag people so people know I have friends!

And what will I do when I’m out to dinner with my friends and no one is talking because they’re all looking down at their iPhones? I don’t know, but at least my life won’t be reduced to a four-inch screen.

I absolutely agree with you, too much of FB is certainly a bad thing for you. I keep my profile to the bare minimum as far as features: you really have to thread a fine line between putting enough of you so that others are interested, and putting so much that you are just seen as a FB attention wh0re. No check-in feature for me, no FB games, and I also never check my FB on my phone, certainly not when I m having a meal with friends. In fact nothing pisses me off more than when pple pull out their phones in a social setting and everyone stares at their screens like monkeys...

Again, as with everything in life you need a balance. What I am arguing is that the debate should not be "Facebook vs. No Facebook" but rather how much of facebook is a positive in your game.

 

[yuppaz]

How about taking it even further then a debate between if you should or shouldn't use facebook, but on HOW TO BEST INCREASE SOCIAL CIRCLES / ATTRACTION through facebook.... I have a tough time with that one personally. I think pictures have a lot to do with it and my status updates don't always get comments, and at those times it is a status lowering thing. How to you use facebook to increase your status and move things from there to in person?

 

[sstype]

Again, as with everything in life you need a balance. What I am arguing is that the debate should not be "Facebook vs. No Facebook" but rather how much of facebook is a positive in your game.

Its cool man. I personally don't find Facebook appealing, even for gaming, but if its your strong suit then by all means do what works best for you.

 

[drak_ool]

sstype, FB is not my strong suit, that would be night game, especially club game.

If you guys don't want to use it to your advantage, that's fine. But as Rollo said in one of his recent posts on rationalmale, it's important to understand all aspects of Game and why they work, whether or not you want to use them.

RemoteControl, you say it's not a masculine thing to do, but that to me sounds just like a shaming tactic. Same could be said to Mystery wearing that retarded hat or painted nails, just to give one example. And if it leads you to more poon, then how is that not a masculine thing?

Case in point, just got home from a date with a chick who re-kindled contact with me through FB to find a message from another chick that I used to work with, easily a 9 (huge knockers, pretty face, tall, slender figure). She wants to hang out this weekend, what do you suggest I do? Not respond to her and delete my profile? lol

 

[SgtSplacker]

Anything that can get me in front of a girl is awesome. I think most of the criticism stems from the fact that you have to run your facebook game very carefully. Because it's basically out there for the world to see.