Exude "manliness". The obvious **** that women dont want you to know.

[Paper Crane]

Yeah I don’t know. It always comes down to conversation skills which I don’t have any. Even when I was actively working on using the “how to win friends and influence people” stuff it only got me being used as an emotional tampon. People just don’t see me as a masculine guy yet my brother who is a skinny sjw advocate gets these girls so clearly even being sjw doesn’t hurt you. It’s frustrating and makes me think all this pua stuff is not all it’s cracked up to be.

I'll be honest, while that book is a classic.. It's the same sht everyone who's had a bit of experience in life and worked in some professional settings and is a people's person should know.. That book repeats alot of the same stuff over and over.. and not only that, some of the stuff, you have to be a super nice guy to do. It's a great book for those who are in the world of dealing with clients, family members, business partners, employees, everyday peple but not necessarily for someone who has issues with conversational skills and socializing.

Your issue is it seems that you don't have that inner masculine energy that exudes out of you. While you might have some outward masculien traits, such as a large frame.. Let me ask you, have you involved yourself ni masculine things, sports, football, basketball, martial arts, combat sports? Maybe fixing cars, being a manager, a leader in a professional setting? Maybe teaching younger kids in yoru community things and being a leader for them? if not, you might have just not had the right activities an behaviors to mold that into your personality

and nothing wrong with being a SJW.. Don't let the internet make your mind up for you. Being a social justice warrior is one of the coolest **** if you can pull it off the right way.. and are truly concerned about issues that matter to people.. However, itj ust doesn't fit people who do it to fit in.. It fits more like the big bearded Biker who stands up for the rights of children who have been sexually abused for example. or the white man who goes by himself into a community of african americans and says you know wht, we gotta do something about the violence in these communities orpolicebrutality. that sh.t is badass.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I'll be honest, while that book is a classic.. It's the same sht everyone who's had a bit of experience in life and worked in some professional settings and is a people's person should know.. That book repeats alot of the same stuff over and over.. and not only that, some of the stuff, you have to be a super nice guy to do. It's a great book for those who are in the world of dealing with clients, family members, business partners, employees, everyday peple but not necessarily for someone who has issues with conversational skills and socializing.

Your issue is it seems that you don't have that inner masculine energy that exudes out of you. While you might have some outward masculien traits, such as a large frame.. Let me ask you, have you involved yourself ni masculine things, sports, football, basketball, martial arts, combat sports? Maybe fixing cars, being a manager, a leader in a professional setting? Maybe teaching younger kids in yoru community things and being a leader for them? if not, you might have just not had the right activities an behaviors to mold that into your personality

and nothing wrong with being a SJW.. Don't let the internet make your mind up for you. Being a social justice warrior is one of the coolest **** if you can pull it off the right way.. and are truly concerned about issues that matter to people.. However, itj ust doesn't fit people who do it to fit in.. It fits more like the big bearded Biker who stands up for the rights of children who have been sexually abused for example. or the white man who goes by himself into a community of african americans and says you know wht, we gotta do something about the violence in these communities orpolicebrutality. that sh.t is badass.

I always thought of myself as masculine. I lift weights. I don’t fix cars because that isn’t what interests me. My grandfather was a car guy, all the faux alphas in my family are car guys and they are betas being used by women. A few of them have been divorce raped multiple times. Never happens to me. I don’t put up with **** from women or anyone. I next them as soon as they act ways I don’t like. Means I’m alone but I don’t care because I enjoy being alone. I’m an introvert.
That said there is definitely a different energy about my brother. It’s annoying since he’s working at an arcade like, super high value male over here. I don’t get it but I probably never will.

when I was younger I had lots of hot women come and approach me all the time. Maybe I had that energy back then but recently it seems the more I try and improve myself the more I lose that energy. So what? Am I supposed to be a loser to attract women? It honestly seems that way rn.

Edit: And it should be noted that my brother doesn’t do any of those hobbies either

 

[Paper Crane]

I always thought of myself as masculine. I lift weights. I don’t fix cars because that isn’t what interests me. My grandfather was a car guy, all the faux alphas in my family are car guys and they are betas being used by women. A few of them have been divorce raped multiple times. Never happens to me. I don’t put up with **** from women or anyone. I next them as soon as they act ways I don’t like. Means I’m alone but I don’t care because I enjoy being alone. I’m an introvert.
That said there is definitely a different energy about my brother. It’s annoying since he’s working at an arcade like, super high value male over here. I don’t get it but I probably never will.

when I was younger I had lots of hot women come and approach me all the time. Maybe I had that energy back then but recently it seems the more I try and improve myself the more I lose that energy. So what? Am I supposed to be a loser to attract women? It honestly seems that way rn.

Edit: And it should be noted that my brother doesn’t do any of those hobbies either

My advice would be stop comparing yourself to your brother.. Start working on the things that are holding you back. Everyone has insecurities.. If you know you have trouble talking to girls, start working on it. if you are bothered by something about yourself, start wearing it as a badge.. whether its a thick accent, or a big head or something. Put yourself in positions where you can feel more confident around women. Make a good friend taht likes clubbing, go every weekend.. try to go a bit out your comfort zone each time.. maybe start by complimenting women and not expecting anything back.. buy a few girls a drink just to be able to have some conversationw ith them. sure they might just be like thanks for the drinks, bye. but at the end of the day, the act of being around women, talking to them, engaging with them.. or even going out ther eand dancing like a fool in the viscinity of women, will get you closer to being confident in interacting with them

now, if you're the type to beat themselves down over failures or missed opportunities, maybe the club environment isnt for you. but if you can shake off a bad night and keep going and let it build your confidence, id say go for it.

another alternative is, hire a good phtoographer, take some pictures in a few diffeerent cool settings, wearing some nice clothes, nice shoes, whatever. take some in some fancy clothing, business attire, and take some in casual clothing.. make a Tinder or Hinge, or multiple OLD profiles and start talking to women and remember "cool and smooth" is the vibe u want to give off with women. the most confident men and the ones who are best with women (not talking PUA's) are usually cool smooth dudes,

 

[SargeMaximus]

My advice would be stop comparing yourself to your brother.. Start working on the things that are holding you back. Everyone has insecurities.. If you know you have trouble talking to girls, start working on it. if you are bothered by something about yourself, start wearing it as a badge.. whether its a thick accent, or a big head or something. Put yourself in positions where you can feel more confident around women. Make a good friend taht likes clubbing, go every weekend.. try to go a bit out your comfort zone each time.. maybe start by complimenting women and not expecting anything back.. buy a few girls a drink just to be able to have some conversationw ith them. sure they might just be like thanks for the drinks, bye. but at the end of the day, the act of being around women, talking to them, engaging with them.. or even going out ther eand dancing like a fool in the viscinity of women, will get you closer to being confident in interacting with them

now, if you're the type to beat themselves down over failures or missed opportunities, maybe the club environment isnt for you. but if you can shake off a bad night and keep going and let it build your confidence, id say go for it.

I did the whole approach women thing. For a few years I’d approach 10-20 every week. It never went anywhere. The problem is I hate conversation. Like legit hate it. So I think I’m f*cked in that regard. And from what I’m reading, that happens to be the only thing that matters with girls because everything else i out score my brother on. I’m taller, have more muscle, eat healthier, workout, have a style, make more money, have my own business, have a car, approached women, the list goes on and on.

I don’t compare myself to my brother regularly but it just hit me recently that if I’m supposedly so masculine and have all this going for me what the heck am I doing wrong?

If it’s conversation I gotta own my inability to do it. Maybe I can wear that as a badge? I dunno man. It’s sucks. Makes me think what’s the point of everything else. And this site should be honest with guys and tell them nothing matters except convo skills. Because clearly that’s all that matters

 

[Paper Crane]

I did the whole approach women thing. For a few years I’d approach 10-20 every week. It never went anywhere. The problem is I hate conversation. Like legit hate it. So I think I’m f*cked in that regard. And from what I’m reading, that happens to be the only thing that matters with girls because everything else i out score my brother on. I’m taller, have more muscle, eat healthier, workout, have a style, make more money, have my own business, have a car, approached women, the list goes on and on.

I don’t compare myself to my brother regularly but it just hit me recently that if I’m supposedly so masculine and have all this going for me what the heck am I doing wrong?

If it’s conversation I gotta own my inability to do it. Maybe I can wear that as a badge? I dunno man. It’s sucks. Makes me think what’s the point of everything else. Amd this site should be honest with guys and tell them nothing matters except convo skills. Because clearly that’s all that matters

You don't need conversation to be your strong suit. You need to have a fun personality. You're not meeting with women to simply talk to them and sht. you can go out to a bar, teach them how to play pool, maybe shoot some darts, take them to a mini golf place, bowling, do some fun flirty sht that doesn't require much talking.. or gives you a subject in which to talk about.

And when it comes to initiating, have the confidence to tell women you're not that great at conversation but you got alot to offer when it comes to other things .

Not to get too personal, but it sounds like you might be in a dry spell? Nothing takes away from a dudes masculinity like not getting laid. It basically creates frustration and a void in your life that comes across to women as dry behavior

 

[allergictobs]

I did the whole approach women thing. For a few years I’d approach 10-20 every week. It never went anywhere. The problem is I hate conversation. Like legit hate it. So I think I’m f*cked in that regard. And from what I’m reading, that happens to be the only thing that matters with girls because everything else i out score my brother on. I’m taller, have more muscle, eat healthier, workout, have a style, make more money, have my own business, have a car, approached women, the list goes on and on.

I'm like you for the most part. Long story short, when I open my mouth, the girl who was interested disappears. Funny thing is, I often talk for a living, my career is partly built on it. And I'm quite convincing. But I hate small talk.

My advice is, don't try to do what everyone else is doing and what is not natural to you. Yes, this lowers your chances with women in general, but I think it needs to be accepted. Not everyone can be a great conversationalist because it requires a lot of energy, and if it does not come naturally, then I don't think it will never appear natural.

There is a subset of women who like the more serious type of guy who has his sh*t together. They are hard to find, but in my experience, they will usually start following you naturally e.g. at workplace or at a hobby. Then you have to make a move, but it should be easier at that point because the girl already likes you.

 

[SargeMaximus]

You don't need conversation to be your strong suit. You need to have a fun personality. You're not meeting with women to simply talk to them and sht. you can go out to a bar, teach them how to play pool, maybe shoot some darts, take them to a mini golf place, bowling, do some fun flirty sht that doesn't require much talking.. or gives you a subject in which to talk about.

And when it comes to initiating, have the confidence to tell women you're not that great at conversation but you got alot to offer when it comes to other things .

Not to get too personal, but it sounds like you might be in a dry spell? Nothing takes away from a dudes masculinity like not getting laid. It basically creates frustration and a void in your life that comes across to women as dry behavior

Actually I’m regularly seeing a woman atm but she’s not my ideal. Just f*cking her because the sex is amazing but looks and age wise she’s not my ideal.

im just getting frustrated is all. I’m trying to figure this out but I keep hitting walls like even if I knew how to conversation properly, it wouldn’t come from a genuine place and the woman would know I’m just trying to bed her which is supposed to be the wrong frame. Also, it would kill me inside. One of the reasons I stopped approaching women is because it wasn’t enjoyable anymore.

thanks for helping me sort through all this btw, much appreciated. I just think I’m missing a key element that will allow me to get women without sacrificing my core

 

[SargeMaximus]

I'm like you for the most part. Long story short, when I open my mouth, the girl who was interested disappears. Funny thing is, I often talk for a living, my career is partly built on it. And I'm quite convincing. But I hate small talk.

My advice is, don't try to do what everyone else is doing and what is not natural to you. Yes, this lowers your chances with women in general, but I think it needs to be accepted. Not everyone can be a great conversationalist because it requires a lot of energy, and if it does not come naturally, then I don't think it will never appear natural.

There is a subset of women who like the more serious type of guy who has his sh*t together. They are hard to find, but in my experience, they will usually start following you naturally e.g. at workplace or at a hobby. Then you have to make a move, but it should be easier at that point because the girl already likes you.

Are you in sales too? I do door to door lead generation so I also talk a lot for my living but even there I am direct and to the point.

I hope you are right. Any idea where such women would be?

 

[allergictobs]

Are you in sales too? I do door to door lead generation so I also talk a lot for my living but even there I am direct and to the point.

I hope you are right. Any idea where such women would be?

I'm not in sales directly, but a high level expert in my field and I often have to convince a company/client of a product that our company is selling. I also do in-house talks to inform our own staff about current developments etc.

Regarding where such women would be, it's tough to say but they have to see you in your natural environment, which is usually at work or at hobbies (something you are good at). It depends a lot on your field too. I'd say hobbies are a better chance than workplace in general.

I've kind of given up on dating and don't stress about these things much anymore.

 

[Paper Crane]

I'm not in sales directly, but a high level expert in my field and I often have to convince a company/client of a product that our company is selling. I also do in-house talks to inform our own staff about current developments etc.

Regarding where such women would be, it's tough to say but they have to see you in your natural environment, which is usually at work or at hobbies (something you are good at). It depends a lot on your field too. I'd say hobbies are a better chance than workplace in general.

I've kind of given up on dating and don't stress about these things much anymore.

Shoot nothing wrong with realizing that in the current moment things aren't working for you in the dating world. It's often best to meet girls through mutual friends and get togethers, events than it is to meet a random stranger.

I thinky ou should not be let down b the fact a girl or two disappeared after you started talking to them. Maybe the problem wasn't you -- it could ahve been that they realized you were or represented at tat moment something that they were not looking for. Oddly enough, a lot of women will be turned off by a guy who talks too much when they're primarily looking for sex. I think some men overlook the fact that women are also often influenced by sex and could want to sleep with a guy without wanting much else. and then there are other times, you're the one making it flirty and sexual, yet the woman may want to get to know you over longer periods of time and let that natural friendship and relationship develop.. in which case, that woman will be turned off by your advances.

The key is to be able to read a girl and see what they're looking for. It doesn't hurt to ask as well.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Solid post, OP.

Might I add, women don’t like thugs. They go for only the top drug dealer or his lieutenant. The grunt on the street corner isn’t getting pvssy. Women want the top of the hierarchy in any setting. An NBA bench warmer doesn’t have anywhere near the same clout when he’s out with his teammates.

Do you really think "Bottom of the barrel" NBA players are being starved out of pvssy? I'm sure they have a MUCH easier time than any other non athelete or non celebrity.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Do you really think "Bottom of the barrel" NBA players are being starved out of pvssy? I'm sure they have a MUCH easier time than any other non athelete or non celebrity.

Completely missed the point..

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Completely missed the point..

I know they be calling Scottie Pippen a "simp" these days, but in Chicago in his career he would leave the club with one woman, return, leave with another woman, return, and leave with a nother woman and yet return. The game was feeding him non stop.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

What really attracts a woman is any masculine trait you can think of. The more you can staack, th ebetter. Nice beard, check, big hands, check, thick forearms, check, broad shouldrs, check, height , check, nice car, big truck, motorcycle, check, exudes masculine confidence, self assuredness.. is the type of guy who can walk into a crowded bar and not be ignored by bartenders.. is the kind of guy who other men look up to, check

I know this sucks if you're some skinny, baby faced small dude/shorter guy.. but dont fret... I got the young gene too. if u can at least grow a beard, you're halfway there... start lifting weights, look "buff", boom you're there.. and you're in there like swimwear.

Believe it or not most women are super simple... If a man is bigger than them, taller than them, not ugly, and has a decent living for himself, his own place, a decent car, (not a toyota camry, or a prius), a career or owns a business, has good friends, has tough/masculine qualities.. hes not only gonna get laid (getting laid is the easy part.) but he's also going to be able to keep women around. hes never going to look at women as if they are intimidating because in his mind they're below him , they're gentle creatures, small, soft, cuddly.. emotional.

The worse thing a guy can be in a woman's eyes is smaller/weaker looking. The next worse thing is broke.. Unless you fit that thug archetype.. because thats one archetype that makes a lot of women wet.. (hip hop programming?)

Real men without knowing it treat women as if nothing they do or say can ever phase the man.. nor hurt him nor stir his emotions.. Its when men start giving power to women and start believing they are super intelligent, capable, manipulative, cunning, cando this can do that bull.sht that the man starts losing his power and starts developing a ****oris.

To use a hip hop reference.. for my younger/American crowd in here: Ari Fletcher is known as a complete player/Jezebel of a woman. SHe's had a "gangster" rapper from Chicago super bent over her (G Herbo), and also a World class Boxer bent over her (Gervonta Davis).. Theres videos of how pathetic they would act over her.. while she laughed at their anger and misery, and toyed with them like they were her sons.. Then She met MoneyBagg Yo (another rapper, but who exuudes masculine qualities).. and the tables turned really quickly. You can tell even her voice and demeanor changed when around him.. and he would be the one toying with her instead, while genuinely showing compassion to her.

What does this show? Women want a secure man.. a man who isn't easily to emotionally manipulate. Its the reason why alot of what we coin as "masculine" women or "toxic" women will often test, toy with a man as if he's th
their best friend rather than their man until they find a man who's more stable and secure with themselves than her. Thats when u start seeing her own insecurities come out.

the thug type is the african american role model for alpha, hate to say it but thats 100% tru

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

What really attracts a woman is any masculine trait you can think of. The more you can staack, th ebetter. Nice beard, check, big hands, check, thick forearms, check, broad shouldrs, check, height , check, nice car, big truck, motorcycle, check

This is only the half of it. I used weigh about 20-30 lbs and have a full beards at various lengths and but now I'm much leaner and usually sport 1-2 week growth facial hair (r or a light mustache) and get way more looks now than I used to. There are many other factors at play. Besides, not all women are into the excessively masculine look, if they were you'd see lumberjack/bodybuilders getting laid all the time.

Most masculine energy comes down to how you carry yourself, the look in your eyes, etc, ultimately that is the biggest divider assuming you are in shape, tall, and not faggy. The things you mentioned are pretty superficial and you see a lot of tryhard guys doing those sort of things to compensate for their insecurity and it doesn't do a damn thing.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

This is only the half of it. I used weigh about 20-30 lbs and have a full beards at various lengths and but now I'm much leaner and usually sport 1-2 week growth facial hair (r or a light mustache) and get way more looks now than I used to. There are many other factors at play. Besides, not all women are into the excessively masculine look, if they were you'd see lumberjack/bodybuilders getting laid all the time.

Most masculine energy comes down to how you carry yourself, the look in your eyes, etc, ultimately that is the biggest divider assuming you are in shape, tall, and not faggy. The things you mentioned are pretty superficial and you see a lot of tryhard guys doing those sort of things to compensate for their insecurity and it doesn't do a damn thing.

aye them k-bop or pop whatever the hell it is gettin alot of hate now,
these dudes put on nails and stuff and still have women fawning over them, could it be the energy?
they just do whatever the **** they want and i notice alot of society hates when men do that

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

aye them k-bop or pop whatever the hell it is gettin alot of hate now,
these dudes put on nails and stuff and still have women fawning over them, could it be the energy?
they just do whatever the **** they want and i notice alot of society hates when men do that

Oh I can't explain that. I wasn't saying men should opt to be effiminate or androgynous, only that being a tryhard in regards to your appearance is offputting especially when you have no real confidence to back it up,

 

[mrskinnypantz]

Oh I can't explain that. I wasn't saying men should opt to be effiminate or androgynous, only that being a tryhard in regards to your appearance is offputting especially when you have no real confidence to back it up,

tbh i dont think any straight man could ever bring himself to do anything like that or else you damn well better have the confidence to back it up.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

tbh i dont think any straight man could ever bring himself to do anything like that or else you damn well better have the confidence to back it up.

Again I wasn't talking about being faggy but the what the OP was talking about - the guys with perfect haircuts with perfectly groomed beards and super trendy clothes and $400 shoes and a nice car who think that makes them "manly", when they're soyboys in their soul, its laughable.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

Again I wasn't talking about being faggy but the what the OP was talking about - the guys with perfect haircuts with perfectly groomed beards and super trendy clothes and $400 shoes and a nice car who think that makes them "manly", when they're soyboys in their soul, its laughable.

nice clothes and shoes can really make a real alpha male stand oout tho