extremely frustrating - don't know what to do next

[ronp78]

So now she texted me yesterday and wants to take me out for my birthday this coming week

Well, here is the situation: She is in the last few weeks of her job working nights. She is working S, M, T, W, Th nights this week. She works from 10:45pm to around 7:45pm.

So, when she texted me about taking me out to dinner on my birthday, and wanting me to drive there since she has to work that night, what this likely means is that:

1. I show up at 6pm
2. We go out to dinner (her nanny is almost surely going to be watching her son at her house, so there will be no place to go)
3. Then I drive her back to her house and we perhaps do a little bit more kissing before she says "i have to go to get ready for work"

Here is how I thought I could change the dynamic:

I wait until tonight and email her "Instead of dinner, how about I take the afternoon off and we spend it together in the city?" (she lives 15 minutes north of the city in which I live)

How does that sound?

This way I could get her here and fairly easily end up at my house, which will be private.

What do you think?

 

[ronp78]

The equation just changed. This is not a fantasy. It really happened. Today.

I suggested the tuesday afternoon time with me. She said no, because she works nights and needs her sleep. She said she can only do dinner. I accepted. (I actually do think that need for sleep is a legitimate excuse, especially since she has a child under 2 years old and lives alone)

However, during all of the texting concerning this, I was on my way for a 1pm date with a girl I met online that I had been IMing for about 3 weeks. I picked her up and went to mini golf. Lots of flirting and she looked very hot.

After we finished golf, we went and ate. Lots of flirting, great eye contact. Then she revealed to me that she had a roommate. I realized then that we would be very unlikely to go back to her place. So we finished eating and went for a walk along a pier.

We sat down and were talking about all sorts of things. Up to this point, i was already holding her hand and stroking her back.

Then, while sitting on the bench along the pier I went in for a kiss. She reciprocated, and I back off and kept talking. Then I said "how about you come to my place and I cook dinner for you?" She said "maybe" I said "i'll take that as a yes, let's go"

So we drove 40 miles back to my place. We stopped at a grocery store to buy some food to cook.

Once in my house, i gave her a quick tour, and then we started kissing very passionately. Within 10 minutes we were naked in my bed, and spent 2 hours havign sex, carressing each other, and having sex again, finally falling asleep for an hour. She was a very good lover, and was a sweet girl. I just got back from driving her back home. The food never did get cooked.

When I just got home now, I saw an email from the first girl giving me directions to where she wants to take me to dinner for my birthday on Tuesday. I saw the email and smiled while thinking to myself "what the hell was the big fuss over anyways? This can wait until the morning to reply"

The dynamics have changed. The needy person I once was with girl #1 is dead to the world.

Still need to figure out how to act at the dinner on Tuesday.

 

[RMM]

And for god sakes, don't volunteer to cook for a woman you just met- that's pretty gay. She should cook for you, walk like a man for chrissake.

I've seen this (or something to this effect) said a few times in the forum, so I'll throw in two cents.

Cooking for a woman can be an excellent way to pique her curiosity and interest...

IF YOU ARE A GOOD COOK.

To clarify, it's the same with everything else you do. I'm a pretty good cook, when I cook something special it's because I want to eat it. More importantly, I want to enjoy it. I'm regularly experimenting with new dishes and things. It's all about my enjoyment of the experience, and she's lucky I invited her to come along and taste it. You're not just cooking some grub as basic fuel (which of course I do as well for more regular day-to-day eating), you're creating a work of art.

Make it about yourself, not as a provider offering. If you do the latter, then indeed you're not doing yourself any favours.

 

[Zunder]

The equation just changed. This is not a fantasy. It really happened. Today.

I suggested the tuesday afternoon time with me. She said no, because she works nights and needs her sleep. She said she can only do dinner. I accepted. (I actually do think that need for sleep is a legitimate excuse, especially since she has a child under 2 years old and lives alone)

However, during all of the texting concerning this, I was on my way for a 1pm date with a girl I met online that I had been IMing for about 3 weeks. I picked her up and went to mini golf. Lots of flirting and she looked very hot.

After we finished golf, we went and ate. Lots of flirting, great eye contact. Then she revealed to me that she had a roommate. I realized then that we would be very unlikely to go back to her place. So we finished eating and went for a walk along a pier.

We sat down and were talking about all sorts of things. Up to this point, i was already holding her hand and stroking her back.

Then, while sitting on the bench along the pier I went in for a kiss. She reciprocated, and I back off and kept talking. Then I said "how about you come to my place and I cook dinner for you?" She said "maybe" I said "i'll take that as a yes, let's go"

So we drove 40 miles back to my place. We stopped at a grocery store to buy some food to cook.

Once in my house, i gave her a quick tour, and then we started kissing very passionately. Within 10 minutes we were naked in my bed, and spent 2 hours havign sex, carressing each other, and having sex again, finally falling asleep for an hour. She was a very good lover, and was a sweet girl. I just got back from driving her back home. The food never did get cooked.

When I just got home now, I saw an email from the first girl giving me directions to where she wants to take me to dinner for my birthday on Tuesday. I saw the email and smiled while thinking to myself "what the hell was the big fuss over anyways? This can wait until the morning to reply"

The dynamics have changed. The needy person I once was with girl #1 is dead to the world.

Still need to figure out how to act at the dinner on Tuesday.

Well Ron,

Your feelings for that other woman evaporated pretty darn quick once you started horizontal folk-dancing with this other woman.

That should tell you quite a bit.

Options, options, options.