dereklearnslow
Don Juan
Ok, I don't usually ask for advice on this board because
A) I can figure out a couple of solutions to whatever problem/dillema I have while typing it, and
B) I can imagine the type of responses I will get, so I don't even bother. Not saying I expect negative responses, just saying I know I will be told to 'NEXT' or avoid one-itis or something to that extent, which is usually the best answer anyways. And the same goes for this thread as well, but extra advice is appreciated.
First about myself: I am a extreme intermediate dj. I am a big nerd with a lot of cool friends who also think I'm cool enough to hang out with at parties/bars/strip clubs. Well...this part isn't important, but just know that I need alot of work on my DJ game but I have improved a lot since visiting this site...I think. So on to the situation.
Of course it's about a girl. Lets call her E. Here are the stats.
- First met her 4 years ago during my senior year/her freshman year in highschool through tech club. Didn't really get too close beyond friendly acquaintances because of class difference, but she ended up going with me and a bunch of other techies to an all night arcade party and she gave me a surprise kiss on the cheek when I dropped her of at home. Totally forgot about her afterwards.
- Fast forward to a couple of months before today, I get re acquainted with E through some shared friends. She's cut her hair short and gone semi punk.
- We become friends again and she starts showing up at my place randomly every now and then like most of my friends do. My dad rents the place to me and my 2 closest friends because he is cool like that, so anyone and everyone is welcome to stop by and chill whenever one of us is home. We usually play DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) at my place or I'll go over her house and play Texas Hold em' with her friends and we have an ok time. Nothing great but fun still.
- Fast forward to 3-4 weeks ago, my two roommates and I decide to go out to eat. I call E up and invite her to tag along and she easily agrees. So we all go out to eat at this pizza/pipe organ place and afterwards me and her go to a nearby amusement place and hang out. We play DDR and I watch her practice in the softball cages (an important note which will be brought up later).
- So around 10:00 pm we head out and go back to my place. She offers to come in, which is all good. I put in a movie and we cuddle on the couch a bit. I massage her arms and she's not rejecting, but I don't take it any further. Yea yea big mistake.
- Movie ends, I put in some other crap to watch and she seems to be enjoying herself still. Around 1-2 ish she has to go home because her mom is a curfew nazi so meh. I get up to hug her goodbye and we start kissing.
NOW, let me tell you something about that very moment....IT WAS GOTDAMN WONDERFUL AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. Last person I kissed before that was some fat chick at a hotel party on a dare on St. Patrick's day, and before that was my drunken ex who I was in a 3 year LTR with who pulled me into a bathroom and shoved her tounge down my throat, and that was in March. So for that moment in time, the only 2 people in existence where E and I. Yes one-itus written all over it.
- So this is where I start messing up. That same week she was going on vacation for spring break. Before she left I told her over aim that I had a really awesome time with her that night and hoped to have more, she said she did too and left a smiley. Yes I know AIM is a no no, but I saw her on for a sec and felt the need to tell her that.
- During the time she was gone, she occupied my thoughts, a lot. I could already see myself reverting to AFCness. After she came back from her trip I stop by her house in the afternoon and she invites me in. We chill on the couch a bit and watch T.V., but not for long because she has to leave for softball (more on this later still). I don't want to stay there if she has to leave soon so I just tell her to call me whenever. We both hug and have an akward kiss thing event. I don't know if it was because her family was around or if it was just the moment, but it did feel a little weird.
- She ends up never calling me, and whenever I call her she is busy with other friends or whatever, which is a good thing, but my inner AFC gets the better of me. When I set potential dates for plans, she always ends up ditching me for something else. One day I call her to see if she still wanted to go do something we had semi-agreed on the day before, and she was out with one of her girlfriends at the bowling alley...ugh. She invited me to come to a Chichen Wing place with them afterwards and, like a dumbass, I agreed. So I meet them there and in an unprecedented AFC move I sit next to her friend instead of her. Looking back on it I want to slap myself. She introduced me to her friend and we played trivia/ate nachos for about 30 minutes until the place closed. Outside in the parking lot we didn't even exchange hugs, but I felt I was doing more of the distancing than she was.
- Now my inner AFC is really starting to shine, I call her almost every other day, always no answer. I even conciously say to myself, "DO NOT CALL HER UNTIL SHE CONTACTS YOU! YOU HAVE MADE ENOUGH EFFORT!", but I always end up calling her. Before I had no problems finding something to do on the weekends by myself. I usually do go to nearby Chicago and arcade there or check out a show, but money has been tight lately so that option is on hold. Blah blah angst.
- Fast forward to Sunday, I tell her through AIM (which is the only thing I've been able to catch her on) that I'll lay off the calling since she seems busy these days. She says, "Noooo, I'm sorry I haven't made time for you, I'm just a spur of the moment girl, so I don't really plan for anything. But call me monday after school and we can hang out." I say sure, but in my head I'm saying "Yea right".
- So I call her Monday. Low and behold, she tells me she is going to be busy with tech all week because of the drama play and that she totally forgot about it. I know she's not lying because I had to do the same crap in HS. I'm sort of dissapointed, but not really because that's been the precedent lately so blah whatever.
- So fast forward to now and...well...yea......I got nothing. The thing is, I don't even know what I want from E. I mean I like her and all but, she is going to be travelling all over the country for softball this summer and come fall, she's going away to college. I'm not really a short term kind of guy, but I wouldn't mind having some fun with her before she leaves, but it seems my neediness might have scared her away. So for now the ball is in her court. If she wants to see me, she'll have to get a hold of me and not vice-versa. And if not, oh well, thanks for that kiss.
Mistakes I've made:
- Not aggressive enough when I had the chance.
- Calling too much.
- Being dumb and cold at the chicken place.
- Calling too much.
- Not being decisive about future dates.
- Also calling too friggin' much.
Anything else I missed here? She's 18 or 19....ish and I'm 22. Does the age difference make this situation even sadder?
Yes...yes it does.
A) I can figure out a couple of solutions to whatever problem/dillema I have while typing it, and
B) I can imagine the type of responses I will get, so I don't even bother. Not saying I expect negative responses, just saying I know I will be told to 'NEXT' or avoid one-itis or something to that extent, which is usually the best answer anyways. And the same goes for this thread as well, but extra advice is appreciated.
First about myself: I am a extreme intermediate dj. I am a big nerd with a lot of cool friends who also think I'm cool enough to hang out with at parties/bars/strip clubs. Well...this part isn't important, but just know that I need alot of work on my DJ game but I have improved a lot since visiting this site...I think. So on to the situation.
Of course it's about a girl. Lets call her E. Here are the stats.
- First met her 4 years ago during my senior year/her freshman year in highschool through tech club. Didn't really get too close beyond friendly acquaintances because of class difference, but she ended up going with me and a bunch of other techies to an all night arcade party and she gave me a surprise kiss on the cheek when I dropped her of at home. Totally forgot about her afterwards.
- Fast forward to a couple of months before today, I get re acquainted with E through some shared friends. She's cut her hair short and gone semi punk.
- We become friends again and she starts showing up at my place randomly every now and then like most of my friends do. My dad rents the place to me and my 2 closest friends because he is cool like that, so anyone and everyone is welcome to stop by and chill whenever one of us is home. We usually play DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) at my place or I'll go over her house and play Texas Hold em' with her friends and we have an ok time. Nothing great but fun still.
- Fast forward to 3-4 weeks ago, my two roommates and I decide to go out to eat. I call E up and invite her to tag along and she easily agrees. So we all go out to eat at this pizza/pipe organ place and afterwards me and her go to a nearby amusement place and hang out. We play DDR and I watch her practice in the softball cages (an important note which will be brought up later).
- So around 10:00 pm we head out and go back to my place. She offers to come in, which is all good. I put in a movie and we cuddle on the couch a bit. I massage her arms and she's not rejecting, but I don't take it any further. Yea yea big mistake.
- Movie ends, I put in some other crap to watch and she seems to be enjoying herself still. Around 1-2 ish she has to go home because her mom is a curfew nazi so meh. I get up to hug her goodbye and we start kissing.
NOW, let me tell you something about that very moment....IT WAS GOTDAMN WONDERFUL AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. Last person I kissed before that was some fat chick at a hotel party on a dare on St. Patrick's day, and before that was my drunken ex who I was in a 3 year LTR with who pulled me into a bathroom and shoved her tounge down my throat, and that was in March. So for that moment in time, the only 2 people in existence where E and I. Yes one-itus written all over it.
- So this is where I start messing up. That same week she was going on vacation for spring break. Before she left I told her over aim that I had a really awesome time with her that night and hoped to have more, she said she did too and left a smiley. Yes I know AIM is a no no, but I saw her on for a sec and felt the need to tell her that.
- During the time she was gone, she occupied my thoughts, a lot. I could already see myself reverting to AFCness. After she came back from her trip I stop by her house in the afternoon and she invites me in. We chill on the couch a bit and watch T.V., but not for long because she has to leave for softball (more on this later still). I don't want to stay there if she has to leave soon so I just tell her to call me whenever. We both hug and have an akward kiss thing event. I don't know if it was because her family was around or if it was just the moment, but it did feel a little weird.
- She ends up never calling me, and whenever I call her she is busy with other friends or whatever, which is a good thing, but my inner AFC gets the better of me. When I set potential dates for plans, she always ends up ditching me for something else. One day I call her to see if she still wanted to go do something we had semi-agreed on the day before, and she was out with one of her girlfriends at the bowling alley...ugh. She invited me to come to a Chichen Wing place with them afterwards and, like a dumbass, I agreed. So I meet them there and in an unprecedented AFC move I sit next to her friend instead of her. Looking back on it I want to slap myself. She introduced me to her friend and we played trivia/ate nachos for about 30 minutes until the place closed. Outside in the parking lot we didn't even exchange hugs, but I felt I was doing more of the distancing than she was.
- Now my inner AFC is really starting to shine, I call her almost every other day, always no answer. I even conciously say to myself, "DO NOT CALL HER UNTIL SHE CONTACTS YOU! YOU HAVE MADE ENOUGH EFFORT!", but I always end up calling her. Before I had no problems finding something to do on the weekends by myself. I usually do go to nearby Chicago and arcade there or check out a show, but money has been tight lately so that option is on hold. Blah blah angst.
- Fast forward to Sunday, I tell her through AIM (which is the only thing I've been able to catch her on) that I'll lay off the calling since she seems busy these days. She says, "Noooo, I'm sorry I haven't made time for you, I'm just a spur of the moment girl, so I don't really plan for anything. But call me monday after school and we can hang out." I say sure, but in my head I'm saying "Yea right".
- So I call her Monday. Low and behold, she tells me she is going to be busy with tech all week because of the drama play and that she totally forgot about it. I know she's not lying because I had to do the same crap in HS. I'm sort of dissapointed, but not really because that's been the precedent lately so blah whatever.
- So fast forward to now and...well...yea......I got nothing. The thing is, I don't even know what I want from E. I mean I like her and all but, she is going to be travelling all over the country for softball this summer and come fall, she's going away to college. I'm not really a short term kind of guy, but I wouldn't mind having some fun with her before she leaves, but it seems my neediness might have scared her away. So for now the ball is in her court. If she wants to see me, she'll have to get a hold of me and not vice-versa. And if not, oh well, thanks for that kiss.
Mistakes I've made:
- Not aggressive enough when I had the chance.
- Calling too much.
- Being dumb and cold at the chicken place.
- Calling too much.
- Not being decisive about future dates.
- Also calling too friggin' much.
Anything else I missed here? She's 18 or 19....ish and I'm 22. Does the age difference make this situation even sadder?
Yes...yes it does.
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