Ex's are Ex's for a reason

[bignick79]

Hello Don Juans!

My Ex and I have began talking again, agreeing to remain friends. Initially, things were fine, we talked or texted every so often. We went out to dinner, everything was good, we had some great laughs and had a great time together, but she made it clear to me, at least verbally, that she was just fine being single, we did end the night with a small kiss. Lately, the frequency has increased to everyday. No talk of a sexual nature but twice this week she wanted to get together and eat, once on Sunday, but I had plans with family and again tonight, although not directly, she texted me "what's for dinner?" I really didn't want to see her tonight because earlier in the day she had texted me to say hello. I ended up calling her because i didn't feel like having a text war. One of our issues before we broke up was she felt i texted too much, so i made an effort to call more instead of texting. When i called her, her first response to me was "why are you calling? I thought your preferred method of conversation was texting?" Her sarcastic comment kind of rubbed me the wrong way, especially that we've been talking on the phone almost everyday for the last week. What is she really doing here?? Is she just trying to be friends or is she actually thinking we are trying to get back together? Verbally, she seems to not have any interest in getting but her calling and talking with me everyday, wanting to meet for dinner says something different.

To be honest, im not interested in getting back with her at this point, since really nothing has changed on her end, just wondering what may be going on in that mind of hers.

 

[blindnowisee]

She's stringing you along as a plan B.

Cut contact and move on. Plenty more fish in the sea. You don't need this stuff messing with your mind.

 

[GotED?]

She's a 'girl' who could be a bit immature and has too much pride - she can't swallow her pride at this time so is making it look like you are wanting her, when in fact she can't live without you. I dislike women who play games - sorry, girls - she ain't no woman yet. Good luck.

With respect,

Exodus

 

[Cremasta]

So... what are you getting out of this?

 

[georgie24]

She's stringing you along as a plan B.

Cut contact and move on. Plenty more fish in the sea. You don't need this stuff messing with your mind.

agreed

disreguard this girls advances and aquire more bishess

your going backwards right now!

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I have a friend who's a girl who manages to remain in contact with ALL her exes. At the moment, though, she's single and only flirting with a few new guys online.

So, WHY does she still keep in contact with these other guys? Simple: if she's feeling down about being single and needs an ego boost, she can call one of these suckers up, hear a few kind words about how great she is and/or possibly get a free meal/ride out of them. Once they've helped remind her how desirable she is, she goes back to NCing them until the next time she needs another boost.

THIS, my friend, is why she's in contact with you. She's single and doesn't want to see you, but at the moment she's not seeing anyone else, and you're someone she can rely on for male attention. Personally, I wouldn't be trying to hang out with her at all; however, if you actually WANT to do so, do so knowing that she's NOT trying to get back with you. It will save you the trouble of falling for the trap of bending over backwards to do things for her when she's not looking to be with you.

 

[Trump]

So, WHY does she still keep in contact with these other guys? Simple: if she's feeling down about being single and needs an ego boost, she can call one of these suckers up, hear a few kind words about how great she is and/or possibly get a free meal/ride out of them. Once they've helped remind her how desirable she is, she goes back to NCing them until the next time she needs another boost.

THIS, my friend, is why she's in contact with you. She's single and doesn't want to see you, but at the moment she's not seeing anyone else, and you're someone she can rely on for male attention. Personally, I wouldn't be trying to hang out with her at all; however, if you actually WANT to do so, do so knowing that she's NOT trying to get back with you. It will save you the trouble of falling for the trap of bending over backwards to do things for her when she's not looking to be with you.

As long as you don't get emotionally involved and get some thing out of it, I dont see an issue with it. You are not marrying the girl, you just want to experience things. If you dont contact her, it means " I can't handle your head games" and she has already won. Have to turn the tables on her.

The thing most guys forget is they have to get a return out of it. Can't be a shoulder to cry on or a white knight hoping she will magically fall for you.

 

[MikeOck]

As long as you don't get emotionally involved and get some thing out of it, I dont see an issue with it. You are not marrying the girl, you just want to experience things. If you dont contact her, it means " I can't handle your head games" and she has already won. Have to turn the tables on her.

The thing most guys forget is they have to get a return out of it. Can't be a shoulder to cry on or a white knight hoping she will magically fall for you.

Obviously he is already emotionally involved. What, exactly, does she win by him not contacting her? Why keep playing a game that you've already lost? All you prove by remaining in contact and playing her game is that you can't let go, you don't have anything better to do, and you have little to no self-respect. Ex's ARE Ex's for a reason. Let them go and use your time for someone who isn't playing a game with you.

 

[bignick79]

To be honest, things were really ok between us and I wasn't having an issue with the situation until yesterday. We've talked on the phone practically everyday for the last two weeks for at least 5 mins and up to an hour on 2 or 3 occasions. She texts me and when I pick up the phone to call her back instead, her response was "why are you calling? I sent you a text, you prefer to text!". That just brought back all the BS we went through from before. It's completely absurd and you all are right, she's playing a game. I'm not with her anymore and I don't need to play it!

 

[gpshields3]

If I ever get my first girlfriend and we break up, I have to admit, I will have a hard time letting go of all the fun times we had together. It must be hard to fight the urge to get back with each other. I havent had a girlfriend yet, but if I do, I know this will be a hard moment.