Experiences and observations with social circle game.

[Jesse Pinkman]

I know social circle game gets thrown around a ton but I wanted to share my personal experiences with it whether it was back from my college days or during some moments in NYC. I've actually had more time with social circle game than cold approach tbh. These days, pickup dudes (especially RSD when it was declining) and others hype up social circle game but I wanted to share my experiences and perspective around it. I have lightly touched on social circle game but I wanted to dedicate a thread to it to speak about my experiences. Yours may have differed but here are mines.

Rarely do guys date above their league in social circle game, as much as people may claim they do.

Everyone claims that social circle game helps you get girls out of your league or how they know of guys who got hot girls through social circle game. In my experience, this is rarely the case. I'll point back to my experience with Greek Life. When I was in a fraternity, the hottest girls in a given sorority rarely went for any old guy in a fraternity. Most of the times, the hottest girls went for the highest value guy on campus which was a rich frat guy in the top frat or an athlete ready to go pro. A lot of times it was for LTRs and not for a fling.

I almost feel like a social circle humbles you more than anything. Like other women in the circle, particularly ugly girls, will immediately tell you about how they think that a girl is not going to go for you. Yes, social circles are good for getting a girlfriend but not good for getting a hot girlfriend. Most of the times the uglier guys who do get hot girls from social circles are rich and insanely charismatic so a woman goes with them for their resources more than anything else.

You don't have control over the kinds of women you date.

At the end of the day, you are at the mercy of the circle. If you want that hot blonde and they want you dating her chubby brunette friend, you are getting the latter. Women in social circles will only date men in the circle that are popular. If you are rich and charismatic, then obviously you have a better shot. However, I'd argue at that point you can try so many other avenues for sex and getting laid. As much as people hate cold approach, and I get it, it does let you control the kinds of women you can date. Want hot Asians? Go approach 100 hot Asians and you'll land one. Want hot blondes? Approach 100 and you'll land one at some point, or heck approach a 1,000. This assuming that are you are not a grossly ugly super weird dude.

It goes against abundance, most of the times.

A social circle is good once again for finding "the one" but for pulling? Only if you happen to be Dan Bilzerian and have his set up. Most social circles are not a Dan Bilzerian set up, most are a mix of guys and girls. If you sleep around too much, even outside of the circle, then you are kind of taking a hit to your status if others find out. Women in particular will think that there is something wrong with you if you are getting laid a lot with women outside of the circle. I found this out the hard way although it did lead to the hot girls in the circle giving me attention.

However, that attention was more curiosity and I found that by pulling a hot girl from my circle, I had burned the whole circle. The hot girl was allowed to group gatherings and I got ghosted. Me and the hot girl kept in touch but we did have to sneak around a lot because the social circle was keeping their eyes on her. One strategy to maybe try is pulling a lot from dating apps/cold approach, joining a social circle to NOT get girls, and then maybe having situations where people see you out with different girls which can peak the interest of hot girls. This situation would mean you use social circle game as a supplement at best.

Most people in it are miserable.

Social circles are full of sexually frustrated dudes who are trying to get laid with the women in the group. Majority of the people in social circles in general, unless it is full of couples, are miserable. The happy social circles are full of couples, the miserable ones are full of single people. In such social circles, the women are undesirable for a reason and the hot girls are often using them for validation because their ugly friend brought them along. I feel like most people in social circles that are single are doing it because they want someone to push their problems on and talk to. You just get to feel miserable together since misery loves company.

The loudest girls are always the ugliest and mediocre looking ones, you must put up with them.

Oh man no doubt about it. Every social circle I have been in had those loud ugly girls or loud average looking girls. These are the girls who act like total idiots when drunk and the ones who are often the loudest ones at the bar. A lot of these women are the types to get white girl wasted because no one pays attention to them and they really want that attention. You must put up with them or at least get good at it because they kind of hold the keys to the hotter girls. If they do not like you then they will tell their hotter friends to not talk to you and their hotter friends will usually listen. That fat loud chick at the bar? You must deal with her antics and even play along with it.

Ever wonder why no one seems to check that annoying girl in a group at the bar? Because any guy in a social circle that does risks losing opportunities with other women. This is why annoying college girls get away with so much, men cannot check them since so much in college runs on social circle game.

You want to know WHY everyone hates cold approachers so much? Well, here's why.

Attractive women in social circles, they will date guys that just approached them at the bar or on the streets, it happens a lot more than you may think. When you get sucked into social circles, you become a lot less about cold approach. You are too fearful to approach a girl at a bar because your friends will tear you apart for it if they feel like it. Yet, you see this guy on his own who is snooping around and he happens to find a set to approach. At a distance, you watch and hope to god that he gets blown out. Outside of getting laid, nothing makes the night of a social circle guy happy than to see the cold approacher get blown out by a girl in his social circle.

At the same time, the social circle guy hates it. I know because I was that guy. I used to hate it when someone would pull and we knew that it was only him with a wing or so. We hated it because here we were dealing with so much social circle nonsense only to see this guy come in and eventually pull. The freedom with which he operated made us jealous. This is similar to how certain married men hate bachelors with their lives together that approach women.

Your rebellious nature goes away and you accept whatever the majority believes.

You get those booster shots. You watch football every Sunday. You hate anything that your group politically hates. You believe whatever MSNBC and CNN tell you. Social circle game coaches you to fit in and get good at it which works in the corporate world but it also coaches you to never question anything. Mainstream society loves you for it since they do not have to worry about anyone questioning them anymore. It is easier for you to get duped and influenced if you are in a group because you care about what your friends think. It is a weird psychological feeling where you fall for anything and believe it because you do not want your immediate group to judge you.

You also become easier to control since if you act out, your "friends" can talk to you afterwards. Your "friends" can talk to you and convince you to be a certain way. It is a given with most social circle stuff that goes on, a "friend" is always assigned to keep you in check.

Everything you do and like kind of gets put under a microscope at times.

Whether it is a sports team, politics, or whatever, you are under a microscope. You do have to worry about being judged or going a certain path in life. Years ago, I quit my job without another one lined up (did the same this year lol) and my social circle started to judge me for it. When I was around town with a few hot dates, I'd get judged for it and was told that I should find "the one" fast. This is when I was 25......You don't realize it until you are deep into a social circle and find that people have nothing better to do at times than keep tabs on others. Oh and it is always the fat girls and unsexy guys doing this but hey, its a social circle and you gotta deal with it.

You settle more.

You somehow get happy with that 6 because hey, it is better than nothing. Others have been egging you two on so you go for it. Social influence can have a big say in the women you end up with. It is why you see rich and cool guys date hideous women, she was probably nice to him and they met through the social circle itself. Social circles get you settling more because you do not want to be that odd guy out who is single. Meanwhile, I have found with cold approach that good wings will rarely let you settle for ugly girls.

That's a post and a half there lol!

 

[Dr.Suave]

You settle more.

You somehow get happy with that 6 because hey, it is better than nothing. Others have been egging you two on so you go for it. Social influence can have a big say in the women you end up with. It is why you see rich and cool guys date hideous women, she was probably nice to him and they met through the social circle itself. Social circles get you settling more because you do not want to be that odd guy out who is single. Meanwhile, I have found with cold approach that good wings will rarely let you settle for ugly girls.

That's a post and a half there lol!

Oh Brother. I remember in my early 20s, there was this social circle of sorts at work, most of them old people that are now retired, a young whale, and myself. All the women in the circle kept trying to convince me to go/settle for the young whale. They almost convinced me, but I just couldn´t, Im sorry but she just didn´t pass the boner test.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Rarely do guys date above their league in social circle game, as much as people may claim they do.

In addition, it's usually the top guy in the circle getting the hot girls. My friend is short, fat and ugly but he was able to get the hotter girls in the group because he was the leader of the circle. Put him out in the field or apps and he's screwed lol. The majority of ave

You don't have control over the kinds of women you date.

guys in social circles are not getting anything from their social circles and face long droughts or must sack up and look elsewhere.

Yep

Most people in it are miserable.

Yep, I remember there was always drama and stuff. Most people hated each other and idk why they even hung out in the first place.

I agree with everything else, but I'm too lazy to type anymore lol.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Also, the rebellious/crabs in the bucket mentality are so true. Unless you came into the social circle already high value then they would frown upon anything good you did. They all have a demigod that can get away with anything and is worshipped by everyone. The people that are trying to better themselves or act more solo were always looked/talked down upon in the group. I had to always be silent of my life plans (getting low BF, escaping Nashville, finding another job) because I would always face negative criticism from the group lol. The most hated people in the group were the non-content normal guys open about their ambition and plans lol.

 

[SW15]

Rarely do guys date above their league in social circle game, as much as people may claim they do.

Everyone claims that social circle game helps you get girls out of your league or how they know of guys who got hot girls through social circle game. In my experience, this is rarely the case.

Social circle is more likely to get you an average looking to slightly above average (think Cute range) girlfriend. This is because most social circles have average looking to at best slightly above average women in them.

Yes, social circles are good for getting a girlfriend but not good for getting a hot girlfriend.

This is the main case for them. It's easier to get a girlfriend via social circle for most men as compared to app swiping or approaching strangers, especially approaching strangers in non-bar settings.

It's what happens after you get a girlfriend from it that becomes more problematic, especially if you considered the long term of your life. The phrase "a girlfriend" matters. One girlfriend. Social circles tend to get pissed if you're even semi-routinely trading out girlfriends, such as relationships lasting 1.5-3 years. Over a 10 year period, a social circle is not going to arrange introductions for a man who has repeatedly not had relationships last, especially ones that fail without marriages. You can maybe draw from the social circle well for 2 girlfriends in a 5-7 year period.

This is also part of going against abundance. Guys with social circle arranged girlfriends are aware of the struggle they'd experience on the open market approaching strangers or app swiping. As a result, they tend to act in a more blue pilled manner and "take the next step" into a marriage and/or stay in a relationship far beyond the time of its shelf life of goodness. Sometimes, they might even be concerned if their social circle can come through with another introduction.

I know one guy who got introduced to wife #1 via social circle. The relationship with wife #1 lasted 10+ years and the marriage was 5 years. After wife #1 divorced him, the social circle was quick to come up with a new girlfriend for him. He was dating almost immediately after wife #1 filed for divorce. In fact, he had already determined exclusivity with another woman in the 4-5 months in between the divorce filing and divorce finalization. That aforementioned woman later became wife #2.

Most people in it are miserable.

Social circles are full of sexually frustrated dudes who are trying to get laid with the women in the group. Majority of the people in social circles in general, unless it is full of couples, are miserable. The happy social circles are full of couples, the miserable ones are full of single people. In such social circles, the women are undesirable for a reason and the hot girls are often using them for validation because their ugly friend brought them along. I feel like most people in social circles that are single are doing it because they want someone to push their problems on and talk to. You just get to feel miserable together since misery loves company.

Around age 30, most social circles transition to majority couples, so unattached and marginally attached men are on the fringes of the circle. Sometimes they might avoid a lot of the circle's events if they are unable to have a date for them, such as Super Bowl parties or New Year's Eve parties at someone's residence.

You settle more.

You somehow get happy with that 6 because hey, it is better than nothing. Others have been egging you two on so you go for it. Social influence can have a big say in the women you end up with. It is why you see rich and cool guys date hideous women, she was probably nice to him and they met through the social circle itself. Social circles get you settling more because you do not want to be that odd guy out who is single.

Partially true. You might end up with that "6" via social circle but you would have had girlfriends in the "4-4.5" range from swiping and texting on an app.

As for the odd guy out who is single, see my point above about how social circles are often majority couples by 30.

Your rebellious nature goes away and you accept whatever the majority believes.

You get those booster shots. You watch football every Sunday. You hate anything that your group politically hates. You believe whatever MSNBC and CNN tell you. Social circle game coaches you to fit in and get good at it which works in the corporate world but it also coaches you to never question anything. Mainstream society loves you for it since they do not have to worry about anyone questioning them anymore. It is easier for you to get duped and influenced if you are in a group because you care about what your friends think. It is a weird psychological feeling where you fall for anything and believe it because you do not want your immediate group to judge you.

You also become easier to control since if you act out, your "friends" can talk to you afterwards. Your "friends" can talk to you and convince you to be a certain way. It is a given with most social circle stuff that goes on, a "friend" is always assigned to keep you in check.

Everything you do and like kind of gets put under a microscope at times.

Whether it is a sports team, politics, or whatever, you are under a microscope. You do have to worry about being judged or going a certain path in life. Years ago, I quit my job without another one lined up (did the same this year lol) and my social circle started to judge me for it. When I was around town with a few hot dates, I'd get judged for it and was told that I should find "the one" fast. This is when I was 25......You don't realize it until you are deep into a social circle and find that people have nothing better to do at times than keep tabs on others. Oh and it is always the fat girls and unsexy guys doing this but hey, its a social circle and you gotta deal with it.

Yes, these are both major downsides and have been incongruent with my personality for a long time.

 

[MatureDJ]

I think SocialCircleMaxxing is for the benefit of the portion that is more in demand. In the '50s, any decent man with a good job could from his social circle easily get quality women practically served up on a platter. Nowadays a social circle contains lots of circular shapes. In terms of quality, there is the tendency to return to the mean, so in a situation in which the circle has a lot of fat chicks, the mean man gets a fat chick; this is why those rich & cool guys date hideous women. It's also why a Poindexter in the '50s could get a decent wife, whereas nowadays, it's OVER for his ilk.

It seems that only rarely would I have any type of social circle that actually had women in it (especially decent ones) - and so I have always had to make my own opportunities, which of course puts oneself on the Self-Made, Lone-Wolf path; this would also include playing YourFriendIsNiceGame or even directly at the plate-target WeShouldGetTogetherGame, which eons ago would actually at least get me a first date.

This YouTube channel has videos about SocialCircleMaxxing.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjo4VsTlQSMOYUdwbMo8IPQ/videos

 

[thermodynamic]

Why don't you make a social circle that centers around you, where you are the one who kicks people out of the circle and controls group opinion.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Why don't you make a social circle that centers around you, where you are the one who kicks people out of the circle and controls group opinion.

Because then you're dealing with people below your level, and that's a fast track to stagnation.

 

[Zimbabwe]

The vast majority of social cirlces won't get you access to high quality women, let alone any women in general.

 

[thermodynamic]

Because then you're dealing with people below your level, and that's a fast track to stagnation.

Followers are extremely useful. No one says because you have followers does not mean you can not hang out with other people who are above your level. Your followers can be very helpful to you and in return you should be helpful to them. BY this logic no business should have employees.

You should be good at both social circle AND cold approach. A lot of guys that are into cold approach do so because they start out as antisocial types which have no social circle.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Because then you're dealing with people below your level, and that's a fast track to stagnation.

The people who do create successful social circles centered around them ironically don't need them. See, the real use of a social circle is that you create one with almost no intention of meeting women whatsoever. The second you do, unless you are Dan Bilzerian or some nightclub promoter dude, is when it all goes by the wayside. Yeah create a social circle that is centered around what you are passionate about and falls into place because of that but with no intentions of meeting women.

This is why I love cold approach, you can actually own up to it and be truthful of the fact that you are doing it to meet chicks. With social circles, it doesn't work out.

 

[thermodynamic]

The people who do create successful social circles centered around them ironically don't need them. See, the real use of a social circle is that you create one with almost no intention of meeting women whatsoever. The second you do, unless you are Dan Bilzerian or some nightclub promoter dude, is when it all goes by the wayside. Yeah create a social circle that is centered around what you are passionate about and falls into place because of that but with no intentions of meeting women.

This is why I love cold approach, you can actually own up to it and be truthful of the fact that you are doing it to meet chicks. With social circles, it doesn't work out.

I mean I am not surprised a guy who has "solitary beast" in his signature is not into having friends.
Bro if your the main head in a social circle, the girls will throw themselves at you. You do not need to do anything. It is a lot of fun. And yes, you need to be indifferent as to whether you get laid or not.

Your original post sounds like a description of being a beta male in a social circle, not an alpha.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Also, the rebellious/crabs in the bucket mentality are so true. Unless you came into the social circle already high value then they would frown upon anything good you did. They all have a demigod that can get away with anything and is worshipped by everyone. The people that are trying to better themselves or act more solo were always looked/talked down upon in the group. I had to always be silent of my life plans (getting low BF, escaping Nashville, finding another job) because I would always face negative criticism from the group lol. The most hated people in the group were the non-content normal guys open about their ambition and plans lol.

Well that is just a normal thing to know about life in general, do not announce your ambitions out loud to people you know are not going to go the same route as you. The most hated people need to learn to have that social intelligence to them and realize the situation for what it is. However, the odd thing I found was that in social circles, the hot girls had an even bigger ego than if you were to cold approach them at the bar.

Like I was a part of large social circles in college and I was finding that the hottest girls that sort of dropped by here and there would ignore me and most other guys in the room. However, when I cold approached said girls a year later at a bar, their reception was a lot better and they were more down to chat.

I feel like even with a large social circle, as common in college, you are going to have subgroups or smaller cliques in such circle. The hot girls are always in their own clique in the circle and the normies/average dudes in their own cliques. It was the weirdest thing to see but given that you were in a frat as well, I am sure you can relate and see where I am coming from.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Social circle is more likely to get you an average looking to slightly above average (think Cute range) girlfriend. This is because most social circles have average looking to at best slightly above average women in them.

This is the main case for them. It's easier to get a girlfriend via social circle for most men as compared to app swiping or approaching strangers, especially approaching strangers in non-bar settings.

It's what happens after you get a girlfriend from it that becomes more problematic, especially if you considered the long term of your life. The phrase "a girlfriend" matters. One girlfriend. Social circles tend to get pissed if you're even semi-routinely trading out girlfriends, such as relationships lasting 1.5-3 years. Over a 10 year period, a social circle is not going to arrange introductions for a man who has repeatedly not had relationships last, especially ones that fail without marriages. You can maybe draw from the social circle well for 2 girlfriends in a 5-7 year period.

This is also part of going against abundance. Guys with social circle arranged girlfriends are aware of the struggle they'd experience on the open market approaching strangers or app swiping. As a result, they tend to act in a more blue pilled manner and "take the next step" into a marriage and/or stay in a relationship far beyond the time of its shelf life of goodness. Sometimes, they might even be concerned if their social circle can come through with another introduction.

I know one guy who got introduced to wife #1 via social circle. The relationship with wife #1 lasted 10+ years and the marriage was 5 years. After wife #1 divorced him, the social circle was quick to come up with a new girlfriend for him. He was dating almost immediately after wife #1 filed for divorce. In fact, he had already determined exclusivity with another woman in the 4-5 months in between the divorce filing and divorce finalization. That aforementioned woman later became wife #2.

Around age 30, most social circles transition to majority couples, so unattached and marginally attached men are on the fringes of the circle. Sometimes they might avoid a lot of the circle's events if they are unable to have a date for them, such as Super Bowl parties or New Year's Eve parties at someone's residence.

Partially true. You might end up with that "6" via social circle but you would have had girlfriends in the "4-4.5" range from swiping and texting on an app.

As for the odd guy out who is single, see my point above about how social circles are often majority couples by 30.

Yes, these are both major downsides and have been incongruent with my personality for a long time.

I was going to post another thread on it but I think it is time for us to realize as men that dating, especially if you want hot girls, is freaking tough. We don't say it enough and we don't bring it up that much but it is one of the tougher things to do if you want consistency. I know I have been ragging on social circle game but I want to get more into other kinds of game too.

Nightgame is a sh1tshow for the most part.

Daygame is rejection heavy.

Online is mostly dudes and you need a good profile to stand out.

Guys need to either be a top tier guy or tamper their expectations with dating. It is why we have so many miserable men, these PUA coaches promise them top tier results and these men have expectations that don't meet reality.

 

[SW15]

I was going to post another thread on it but I think it is time for us to realize as men that dating, especially if you want hot girls, is freaking tough. We don't say it enough and we don't bring it up that much but it is one of the tougher things to do if you want consistency. I know I have been ragging on social circle game but I want to get more into other kinds of game too.

Guys need to either be a top tier guy or tamper their expectations with dating. It is why we have so many miserable men, these PUA coaches promise them top tier results and these men have expectations that don't meet reality.

I agree with all of this. There are men that eventually get something out of stranger approaching or app swiping after hundreds of failed interactions, something like a girlfriend. I've been that guy. You can get a girlfriend out of stranger approaching (either in bars or non-bar venues) but you're going to have to take a ton of rejections, have many failed dates, and other unpleasant interactions. The same happens with app swiping but even worse.

Nightgame is a sh1tshow for the most part.

Daygame is rejection heavy.

Online is mostly dudes and you need a good profile to stand out.

All 3 are worse than social circle for finding an extended girlfriend.

This is the main case for them. It's easier to get a girlfriend via social circle for most men as compared to app swiping or approaching strangers, especially approaching strangers in non-bar settings.

I know one guy who got introduced to wife #1 via social circle. The relationship with wife #1 lasted 10+ years and the marriage was 5 years. After wife #1 divorced him, the social circle was quick to come up with a new girlfriend for him. He was dating almost immediately after wife #1 filed for divorce. In fact, he had already determined exclusivity with another woman in the 4-5 months in between the divorce filing and divorce finalization. That aforementioned woman later became wife #2.

The guy from his story did no stranger approaching in between wife #1 and wife #2. He did some stranger approaching prior to meeting wife #1 in his mid-20s. He got one longer term college girlfriend out of it (who got super fat many years after they broke up) but mostly mediocre outcomes before his social circle started producing outcomes mainly from living in the same area his whole life except for the 4 years of college. If this guy had no social circle, he'd be one of those guys complaining about how his life peaked in college with his girlfriend who was a "6" at the time or some beta bucks for a provider hunting, 30 something woman.

 

[MatureDJ]

Guys need to either be a top tier guy or tamper their expectations with dating. It is why we have so many miserable men, these PUA coaches promise them top tier results and these men have expectations that don't meet reality.

PUA coaches always hire hot chicks for the seminars so the students so that they think that what they are learning will help them ascend:

This one had the infamous George Sodini:

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Random video that seems relevant

TLDW- basically he talks about how it's harder to maintain strong friendships as you age. He ends with that the people that decided not to travel/city hop have stronger relationships with their friends because they remained. I did not want to be like or remain in common reach with any of my friends in Nashville, so I actually dumped liabilities and not assets by leaving.

 

[SW15]

Random video that seems relevant

TLDW- basically he talks about how it's harder to maintain strong friendships as you age. He ends with that the people that decided not to travel/city hop have stronger relationships with their friends because they remained.

A big part of not traveling/city hopping has zero to do with your own individual choices. It's up to your parents. There is lifelong value in staying in the same area from birth - high school graduation if you stay in that same area as an adult.

The guy I mentioned earlier in this thread is in his 40s and has lived in the way I've described above. The only time he left his immediate area was to go away to college for 4 years, but once college ended, he was back in the same metro area as where he grew up. He has an amazing social circle in that area because he's spent his whole life there. It's the primary reason he's had long relationships (2 marriages) and never had to swipe on apps, use online dating websites in the pre-app era, or even do much cold approaching. He made his own choice to come back there after college but his parents set him up well by never moving him between birth and the end of high school.

I had multiple childhood relocations and multiple adult relocations prior to settling into my current city. Even though I've been in my current city for a decade + and I think that's a good thing, all the relocations prior to a toll. My social circle is weaker. I got here in my late 20s and I wasn't able to get into the social circles with area natives with strong roots. Those would be the most meaningful social circles. I got into a social circle with other transplanted adults from roughly the same time. Some of us were horny guys looking for vagina. I made friends, I just never had a circle capable of providing me with introductions. Additionally, over a decade period of time, the social circle would have gotten pissed at me for changing girlfriends in less than 3 years multiple times so they would have stopped introducing me and I would have eventually been reliant on approaching.

It is difficult to maintain stronger friendships as you age, regardless of romantic relationship status. It's a little bit easier for the established couples as compared to the unattached or marginally attached man. After about age 30, a lot of people become obsessed with their house in the suburbs, their pets, and their children. They tend to socialize with other people in couples who are focused on their houses in the suburbs, their pets, and their children. Those aren't the types of people who ever come to participate on SoSuave forums. The types of guys on SoSuave forums also don't remain close friends with those "normies" simply because it's not a good fit anymore for friendship. Priorities are different.

Starting a new social circle after age 30 is also a bit difficult too because unless you are a real estate owning, pet owning, and child having person, you're not a great fit for other similarly aged people.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

A big part of not traveling/city hopping has zero to do with your own individual choices. It's up to your parents. There is lifelong value in staying in the same area from birth - high school graduation if you stay in that same area as an adult.

The guy I mentioned earlier in this thread is in his 40s and has lived in the way I've described above. The only time he left his immediate area was to go away to college for 4 years, but once college ended, he was back in the same metro area as where he grew up. He has an amazing social circle in that area because he's spent his whole life there. It's the primary reason he's had long relationships (2 marriages) and never had to swipe on apps, use online dating websites in the pre-app era, or even do much cold approaching. He made his own choice to come back there after college but his parents set him up well by never moving him between birth and the end of high school.

I had multiple childhood relocations and multiple adult relocations prior to settling into my current city. Even though I've been in my current city for a decade + and I think that's a good thing, all the relocations prior to a toll. My social circle is weaker. I got here in my late 20s and I wasn't able to get into the social circles with area natives with strong roots. Those would be the most meaningful social circles. I got into a social circle with other transplanted adults from roughly the same time. Some of us were horny guys looking for vagina. I made friends, I just never had a circle capable of providing me with introductions. Additionally, over a decade period of time, the social circle would have gotten pissed at me for changing girlfriends in less than 3 years multiple times so they would have stopped introducing me and I would have eventually been reliant on approaching.

It is difficult to maintain stronger friendships as you age, regardless of romantic relationship status. It's a little bit easier for the established couples as compared to the unattached or marginally attached man. After about age 30, a lot of people become obsessed with their house in the suburbs, their pets, and their children. They tend to socialize with other people in couples who are focused on their houses in the suburbs, their pets, and their children. Those aren't the types of people who ever come to participate on SoSuave forums. The types of guys on SoSuave forums also don't remain close friends with those "normies" simply because it's not a good fit anymore for friendship. Priorities are different.

Starting a new social circle after age 30 is also a bit difficult too because unless you are a real estate owning, pet owning, and child having person, you're not a great fit for other similarly aged people.

lol I’m the only person in my family that has left the country outside my dad fighting overseas. I know a guy in my more entrenched in my Nash social circle that moved to Atlanta and didn’t last 5 months before coming back because he missed his crew. He’s definitely heading down a path of pure disappointment, so I’m willing to bet that staying & gritting in Atlanta would’ve been better for him.

Basically every friend in a relationship is married by 30. They basically act like married couples without a ring pretty much. My friend has secretly admitted that he has the grass is greener syndrome for being single and I have to tell him that’s it not all roses and petals lol.

 

[SW15]

I’m the only person in my family that has left the country outside my dad fighting overseas.

Very few men from the United States ever end up moving to another country. Additionally, the men who move to Eastern Europe, Latin America, or Asia to get laid and/or find wives is even smaller.

I know a guy in my more entrenched in my Nash social circle that moved to Atlanta and didn’t last 5 months before coming back because he missed his crew. He’s definitely heading down a path of pure disappointment, so I’m willing to bet that staying & gritting in Atlanta would’ve been better for him.

The twice married guy in his 40s who has barely moved that I've been mentioning in this thread has a story with similar themes. In his 20s, he had a job opportunity in another area, a much more populous metro area than where he lives. He didn't take that job simply because he had enough self awareness to realize that he wasn't going to be shiit without the cocoon of his home area and social circle. Sure, he might have had a decent job in the new, bigger area but he would have had no social circle and would have been reliant upon cold approaching and/or dating websites (this was the pre-app era). He didn't think it would be good for him.

I'm not sure that your friend staying & gritting in Atlanta would have been better than the safety of his Nashville cocoon. There's a good chance he'll end up as a divorced guy in Nashville, but the social circle will bail him out and keep him away from cold approaching, similar to the guy I know after wife #1 divorced his beta bucks butt.

Basically every friend in a relationship is married by 30. They basically act like married couples without a ring pretty much. My friend has secretly admitted that he has the grass is greener syndrome for being single and I have to tell him that’s it not all roses and petals lol.

That happened in my local social circle too. People coupled up and most married. They all acted like carbon copies of each other with houses in suburban neighborhoods, dogs, and some are adding children to the mix. None have secretly admitted to me "grass is greener syndrome" but I have a sense that a lot of married couples are good at keeping drama under wraps.