Experienced People Only I Need Help Now!!!!!!

playainthemaking

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Hey guys so i started to date this chick and before we even met she told me she had some issues. She told me about how her life is controlled by her father and that she is not happy. She stated that she liked to drink to make her pain go away form all the unhappiness in her life. So anyways i told her that I wont judge her and that i still would like to see her and take her out. So i met we set up a time and i planned a fun action date.

Day of date)
So we meet up and she is really nice and gives me a big hug right off the bat, She is very responsive to my questioning and we seem to have great conversation in car over. So we get to the bowling alley and we get all fitted and have a blast. She laughed and was constantly smiling and seemed to really enjoy our time. We got close looking at a menu for food they had there and she didn't pull back or anything. Then without hesitation she sips from my drink after finishing her own. Overall a good time in my book.

Next i was gonna take her on the second part of my date but her dad called and she told me she would have to be home at 5 30 which was about 2 hours from now. She mentioned she would like to go to the mall that i had told her about on the way to the bowling alley which was brand new. So we go to the mall and again have great conversation about her life and random ****. We went into spencers which is a odd store with all kinds of cool stuff. We laughed our asses off reading the random tee shirts and again seemed to just have a blast. After walking around the mall for a bit longer it was around that time to go so we did.

On our drive back I told asked her if she wanted to meet up again on Friday and she agreed. I know this was a little soon but our date was on a Tuesday and not much was going on so i felt it would be better to do it sooner. Anyways she agreed and seemed to be happy about it. I take her to her house and she again is just talking and open to me. She tells me about how she breaks into her house when she forgets her keys and her dad gets pissed off. She gives me a big hug and I say bye and i go home.

Now to the odd part. So basically we really began chatting it up on aim. On our date she gave me her cell number and home phone number. She was hesitant to show me where she lived at first but after our date asked me to drop her off cause she was comfortable. Basically the next day(Wednesday) i send her a message and and tell her i had a good time to which she replies she did too. I write some other stuff right after but she doesn't respond. I ask her if something is wrong and she signs off. At this point i think that she had a problem with her dad so i call her and ask her if everything is alright. She replies that "all is well" and i tell her "okay i just wanted to make sure you weren't drinking again" which she mentioned to me numerous times before to me. I said "okay well ill call u soon about our plans on Saturday, were going to the _______ and it should be fun". She replies "yeah" and i end the conversation.

So basically late Thursday night at about 8 pm i text her and and and write to her that i will be really busy tomorrow to which she replies "okay" before i even have a chance to explain that the reason why i am texting her was to finalize our plans for Saturday she just ignores me. and doesn't get back to me at all. Now of course i was like wow wtf but i was willing to give it another try, so i called today at 11 30 and no pickup. I don't know what the hell is going on but with the chemistry that i thought we had i don't get this. I mean she gave me her numbers and allowed me to drop her off and yet all of sudden acts weird.

I don't know if shes playing a game or if shes not interested but i don't think its the second option. I called her again about a half our ago and again it went to message. This time though my friend advised me to leave a message so i did. In it i just said "hey we on for tomorrow or now, i haven't heard from u, it should be fun hit me up. Now this is the last time i will hit her up for days to come. I ain't gonna waste my time but i will let her know that this game ain't cool on Tuesday. She asked me not to hurt her cause she had been hurt by past boyfriends and to turn around and act like this is a joke. Someone please let me know wtf this is about. I mean i know someones gonna say not interested but she sent all the right signals, gave out her number and was a damn good actress if she didn't have a good time.

Either shes playing a game or shes not interested its one of the two. But i know how girls act if they aren't interested and having a good time on a date and setting second date up and agreeing happily usually ain't part of the program. Please let me know how i should go about this. and please dont just say move on, give an explanation of what is going on here.
 

Pathgen

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I wouldnt contact her anymore. You left your message she should respond.

Either shes playing a game or shes not interested its one of the two. But i know how girls act if they aren't interested and having a good time on a date and setting second date up and agreeing happily usually ain't part of the program. Please let me know how i should go about this. and please dont just say move on, give an explanation of what is going on here.
There are many things that can be going here not the two. Her parents can be control freaks that didnt like something. She could have lost her phone or forgot to charge on a trip. She could have gotten back together with one of those boyfriends that hurt her.

You have done your part if she is interested she will contact you
 

playainthemaking

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Pathgen said:
I wouldnt contact her anymore. You left your message she should respond.



There are many things that can be going here not the two. Her parents can be control freaks that didnt like something. She could have lost her phone or forgot to charge on a trip. She could have gotten back together with one of those boyfriends that hurt her.

You have done your part if she is interested she will contact you
Couple corrections here that i want to mention. Her parents havent even met me yet and so i doubt thats the problem. I mean if it was she would at least tell me cause she was all talkative before our date and during. She was a nice person who i connected with. She hasnt lost her phone cause she uses aim on it and still is logged in and i doubt that she is on a trip cause we both got college in about a week. She has only had one past boyfriend but she said that was a long time ago and again i doubt he came into her life right after i took her out. I mean again a explanation or a "not interested" reply would be in order. She has just gone quite and i dont know how to process that. Believe me any other woman i would be like go to hell but we connected and since her actions are so odd it has be intrigued. I guess im wondering if its something i might have said to her because i teased her about her dad controlling her life. Matter fact let me state what i wrote.

ME----Hey i had a goot time last night?
HER---Yah i did too
ME ---Did your dad get mad for coming home late
ME----Did he make u sit on timeout in the corner?
ME----So can u get a big girls pass for saturday.
HER---Big girls pass?
ME----Yeah u know ones that girls over 18 get.
ME----Big girls pass=girls over 18

Then she went quiet and didnt respond to me till the next day where all she said was okay to me telling her i will be busy. I guess what bugs me is that she liked me and that i said something to her. Yet when i called her that night she said there is no problem. I mean i ask her and she pretends all is fine. Though she didnt know it was my number and asked who it was. Maybe thats the only reason she picked up. Maybe on tuesday ill call her from a diff number and speak to her and let her know what the deal is.
 

Pathgen

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I don't know honestly. However, it is possible to piss crazy parents off without meeting them. A girl lost a ring on a date with me and the dad hated my guts forever. Not my ****ing fault but whatever. Her parents could have gotten mad over the fact she let you take her home?

Otherwise i have no clue. There is an explanation you just have to wait and see what it is
 

playainthemaking

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first off thanks pathgen for helping me out at least someone is here on friday. Im very curious to here what others think but this **** is driving me nuts in a way. I read somewhere that this is a game that crazy chicks play but it could be garbage info. I mean if her parents are the reason, i dont see how it should affect her maybe u can explain. I mean she would at least tell me something but to ignore me now for two days when we had a date planned for tomorrow is very weird.
 

Jitterbug

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Chick with daddy and drinking issues, plus past abusive relationships? You're spending too much time & energy on her, mate. You're being way too nice to her. That makes you the opposite of the men who have been in her life: her controlling dad and her jerk BFs (btw think about why she chose them).

Don't let her turn you into Capt'n Save-A-Ho.
 

playainthemaking

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Lol yeah captain save a ho i say HELL NO. Naw but on the real she was a cool ass chick and her last boyfriend was when she was really young and she had a 4 year relationship with him. Her dad seems to slave her and make her work her ass off and be his little ***** and ruin her personal life. I felt for her and when we connected chemistry wise it, it made the deal in a way. She is good looking too which is why i want to pursue it.
 

Jitterbug

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Well, I don't know if you realise it or not, but you've made all the moves of the good Captain. You're being sympathetic, understanding, feeling for her, checking to make sure she didn't drink too much, etc. You're acting like a BF in a LTR already.

I mean i know someones gonna say not interested but she sent all the right signals, gave out her number and was a damn good actress if she didn't have a good time..... But i know how girls act if they aren't interested and having a good time on a date and setting second date up and agreeing happily usually ain't part of the program.
Harsh lesson we all have to learn: just because a woman had a good time on a date doesn't mean that she's actually interested in YOU. She might just like dating and the entertainment you give her. It happened to me recently. If you take her out on a date with a dull idea (let's say... coffee, or a walk in the park having some ice cream) and you both have a good time, then she's most likely to be interested in you.

All of these confusing signs she's giving you say very clearly: she's not that interested. She's risking upsetting you and driving you away. Chase her if you're still keen, but keep that in mind.
 

WalkingStick

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It seems like you're continuing this even though you know you shouldnt.

I wouldn't say it's either disinterest or a game. As others have mentioned, it could be a problem with her personal life or parents.

That said, if it IS a game, you are LOSING it. Stop chasing her. You've given her plenty of opportunities, if she's interested she'll contact you.

If she's disinterested, you are WASTING time. You cannot make her like you if she doesn't already.

If it's a personal problem you CANNOT FIX it. Either leave or work around it.

If you are just chasing this girl because she's good-looking, you are making a mistake. Honestly, by the way her personal life seems, it might be best for you and her if you let her go.

It's also possible she is bipolar, depressed, or abused. Most of the problems you are experiencing are probably rooted in her own life.

Whether you want to leave her, keep her, or help her, the BEST thing you can do is to stop trying to contact her.
 

PectoralisMajor

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YEP - you've left her a voicemail. either she will get back to you or she wont. DO NOT under any circumstances contact her AGAIN.

AVOID EVER speaking to chicks on AIM once you have their number. weak game.

in the meantime, go game so other chicks on AIM ha....<thats sarcastic by the way>
 

playainthemaking

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wow i just read another thread u care you lose. Wow that makes me feel like an idiot. And i thought that captain save a ho was just something they called ***** ass guys not guys who actually might care about someone or something in even the slightest form. I learned a valuable lesson here and thats "dont care about women treat them like **** and they will come to you"
 

Pimp-sicle

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First off, this chick clearly has A LOT of issues and is NOT LTR material. However you shouldn't even be thinking about that or ACTING like that when you only went out on one date with her.

Secondly, you are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too available to her. Your contacting her too much, talking to her on messenger....it all reeks of desperation!! Furthermore as Jitterbug already metioned, your acting like her bf and you don't even know her...what's wrong with you??

She's not interested in you dude, you've got to be able to take the hint and move on. If you call a girl and she doesn't answer or call you back, DO NOT call again!!

Lastly, the icing on the cake should've been when she told you "who's this" when you called.

Move on or continue being her byatch...its your choice.


And you don't have to treat girls like $$$hit to get them, but you do have to have your own life and respect yourself. Your not doing either of these things right now.

PS: You have one-itis to a moderate degree.. Go meet some new girls who are into you.



PIMP
 

playainthemaking

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honestly guys your all right i let my guard down here and decided to be nice and help her out. She was like crying out for help and **** and that was the only reason i even called her at all. I made the mistake of thinking that because she had all these problems i could just act differently than i usually would. Usually i would say **** you to her if she doesnt respond to me and move on. I guess i see the light now and besides the laugh it has given me it has taught me a lesson.
 
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