experienced/mature DJs help me out

[blackhatter]

I don't like asking for advice much, but I almost feel as if it's imperative for my well being right now.

I dated my ex for 2 years on and off. She cheated on me and I took her back (obviously a dumb move) and we continued on for about a year after the incident. Things were honestly great and the dude she cheated on me with was a tool bag, so I didn't think much of it.

Eventually she went on vacation and met some other guy while away for 2 weeks. At the time, she called me asking for a break, swearing it had nothing to do with the other guy. Obviously it did. When she came back I told her things were done for good.

This was about a year ago. Ever since, basically the ex and I have been f-buddies with a little more here and there (sometimes dinner etc).

All the while I have been with a lot of other women, but I've yet to form a connection like I have with my ex yet.

About a month ago my ex told me that she wanted to break things off permanently; no sex no anything - she said it was too hurtful for her to keep hooking up off and on with me.

So I start f*cking anything that moves. I've probably been with 5 - 6 girls in the past few weeks and I'm having no trouble pulling. But there's a few problems.

1. I'm not comfortable with any other women. I find myself not being able to keep it up with a condom with any other women. It's like they don't even turn me on. However I know if I did it with my ex, I'd be hard as rock.

2. I find myself wishing I could find someone who I can be comfortable with like my ex. It's tempting to call her up and see if she wants to chill, but I know I'm just falling back into a trap and a relationship that will just not work. I don't want to be that chump, again.

3. My ex is f*cking lots of dudes as well. The problem is, these dudes are all guys I know. I know a lot of people in my college community (and in greek life), so I find it annoying and disturbing when I see these dudes out and I'm like 'yeah i think my ex ****ed him.'

All three of these things are f*cking with my head like no other. I have no problem pulling women and I'm a good looking dude.. in fact I slept over a girl's place yesterday and she was like 'yeah i feel like you just came over to f*ck me and leave me. I feel like you could get any girl you want.'

Consequently, I couldn't even get it up for this chick who I've been wanting to bone for awhile, also.

So I feel as if my ex and degraded the past 2 years of my life. I want to escape. I want to start out fresh, maybe find a new girl, maybe not. I just want to be happy without worrying about what my ex is doing.

WTF DO I DO?

 

[Febreze]

I don't like asking for advice much, but I almost feel as if it's imperative for my well being right now.

I dated my ex for 2 years on and off. She cheated on me and I took her back (obviously a dumb move) and we continued on for about a year after the incident. Things were honestly great and the dude she cheated on me with was a tool bag, so I didn't think much of it.

Eventually she went on vacation and met some other guy while away for 2 weeks. At the time, she called me asking for a break, swearing it had nothing to do with the other guy. Obviously it did. When she came back I told her things were done for good.

This was about a year ago. Ever since, basically the ex and I have been f-buddies with a little more here and there (sometimes dinner etc).

All the while I have been with a lot of other women, but I've yet to form a connection like I have with my ex yet.

About a month ago my ex told me that she wanted to break things off permanently; no sex no anything - she said it was too hurtful for her to keep hooking up off and on with me.

So I start f*cking anything that moves. I've probably been with 5 - 6 girls in the past few weeks and I'm having no trouble pulling. But there's a few problems.

1. I'm not comfortable with any other women. I find myself not being able to keep it up with a condom with any other women. It's like they don't even turn me on. However I know if I did it with my ex, I'd be hard as rock.

2. I find myself wishing I could find someone who I can be comfortable with like my ex. It's tempting to call her up and see if she wants to chill, but I know I'm just falling back into a trap and a relationship that will just not work. I don't want to be that chump, again.

3. My ex is f*cking lots of dudes as well. The problem is, these dudes are all guys I know. I know a lot of people in my college community (and in greek life), so I find it annoying and disturbing when I see these dudes out and I'm like 'yeah i think my ex ****ed him.'

All three of these things are f*cking with my head like no other. I have no problem pulling women and I'm a good looking dude.. in fact I slept over a girl's place yesterday and she was like 'yeah i feel like you just came over to f*ck me and leave me. I feel like you could get any girl you want.'

Consequently, I couldn't even get it up for this chick who I've been wanting to bone for awhile, also.

So I feel as if my ex and degraded the past 2 years of my life. I want to escape. I want to start out fresh, maybe find a new girl, maybe not. I just want to be happy without worrying about what my ex is doing.

WTF DO I DO?

Hi,

It sounds like you are in a rough spot, but i honestly believe time will make you feel a lot better. I think the best solution to this is to make sure you dont give in to the temptation and cut all ties to her. It sounds like you are not having any problems finding other women, and i truley believe you will meet someone eventually that will make you feel a lot better. This stuff might be in your mind for quite some time, but i think in a few months from now prodvided that you dont communicate to her and you keep being social, that you will feel much, much better. As far as the feeling you that you know the people she is now ****ing, you just have to get that out of your mind, it really seems more important than it is. You are probably ****ing some of these guys exes or flings, so youre even! Hope this helps

 

[blackhatter]

Hi,

It sounds like you are in a rough spot, but i honestly believe time will make you feel a lot better. I think the best solution to this is to make sure you dont give in to the temptation and cut all ties to her. It sounds like you are not having any problems finding other women, and i truley believe you will meet someone eventually that will make you feel a lot better. This stuff might be in your mind for quite some time, but i think in a few months from now prodvided that you dont communicate to her and you keep being social, that you will feel much, much better. As far as the feeling you that you know the people she is now ****ing, you just have to get that out of your mind, it really seems more important than it is. You are probably ****ing some of these guys exes or flings, so youre even! Hope this helps

I agree. It's just SO TOUGH when she contacts me once in awhile and she's like 'wana chill'?

And I know if I chill I'm going to have the best sex I've had in AWHILE where I know if I say no, I'm getting zip and I'm just going to continue not being satisfied with other women.

But I know if I keep chilling with her, I'll stay hooked and never get out of this slump.

 

[slaog]

You need to start looking at the bigger picture - the longer term. Apart from some short term excitment you sound miserable and cannot enjoy life. Cut all ties with her.


You can start by raising your standards. She's a low quality woman who cheats. Is this good enough for you?

 

[blackhatter]

You need to start looking at the bigger picture - the longer term. Apart from some short term excitment you sound miserable and cannot enjoy life. Cut all ties with her.


You can start by raising your standards. She's a low quality woman who cheats. Is this good enough for you?

I guess it doesn't help that she's one of the most sought after girls at my school; she really is beautiful, if not a 10 then a 9.

You're right though, she is low quality cause she's never been faithful in any relationships she's had.

I'm miserable right now because I just found out she may have slept with some dude who's ass I whooped last year; pretty degrading. Usually however I'm not miserable, just when I hear sh!t like that.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

First of all, The Greeks Don't Want No Freaks!!!

What's her email/phone number. I'll help you with your problem.

How old are you two?

If you can get any broad you want, raise the bar and go after women you think will not be easy to pull.

 

[Scars]

As much as it hurts you need to get up and move on. Slaog put it best. Do you really want a low quality woman to have that sort of grip on you? You deserve better. In the long run it will do you better. It's going to be hard and it's going to suck but you need to cut all contact with her and just forget her. Easier said than done, I know. But just do it. We've all experienced a severe oneitis, in a way it's a good stepping stone. It reminds us what not to do and leaves a lasting imprint because it hurts so much. Not to get all emotional on you or anything, haha. But seriously, move on. You deserve a girl who doesn't cheat and suck the life out of you. Good luck my friend.