Experienced DJ but needs relationship advice

[NatiL]

I've got a girlfriend who loves me alot and great rapport etc. I've been damn alpha around her and when I emotionally withdraw it can even bring her to tears.

Great stuff, and makes me feel pretty secure. I'm definitely not in one-itis, I even got her to agree to "keep her ears closed" when I sleep with other girls if she's not around.

But, I found she flirted with a guy pretty hard.. someone we talked about having a threesome / foursome? with.. The guy is attractive but really not alpha, he's shy about going to clubs and dancing and all.

She said: 'dont get too drunk, or i'll take advantage of you'. I know she's attracted to him.

So.. how do I react? To me it seems really serious, for a relationship, but i'm worried punishing / withdrawing will just make her associate the negative feelings for me.

 

[decades]

When you get her to agree that you might sleep with other people what exactly do you think is going through her head? Do you think after hearing that you may be doing this that she is just going to sit around and be your virgin? You essentially asked for an OPEN relationship so expect that when you are NOT AROUND she could be doing the same thing you are.

Hey DJ? What do you want? Do you want a REAL relationship with her or do you want to F around on her? If I was a woman and I heard you say this I would tell you get lost loser. This is no relationship that can grow and progress when you tell her this. Of course you have problems now because you want to be a playah and a DJ and F around on your girlfriend. Guess what playah? There aint NO free lunch. Be a playah. But expect your primary relationship to go to hell because that's no way to ACT if you want a great woman to be there for you over the long term.

regards

 

[Sinistar]

persistent exaction said what needed to be said.

I'll add this. So she stuck around this long knowing you're sleeping around. She's accepted your terms. Now, when she simply expresses an interest in doing the same thing it generated a large enough sense of insecurity in yourself to actually post and ask advice?

I think she's wising up, getting ready to (or already) spin plates again. Can't say as I blame her given your arrangment.

 

[flexion_]

Clearly this is an open relationship. I'm not quite sure what the problem is...

 

[Latinoman]

Never use the woman in your relationship for 3-somes, etc. It will eventually create issues.

You suggested the 3-some stuff expecting her to say "Yes...let's bring another woman".

Well...I have news for you. The 3-some stuff might be a way or excuse of her getting laid with another man.

I think this relationship is over as you overplayed your hand.

 

[squirrels]

Clearly this is an open relationship. I'm not quite sure what the problem is...

+1. You can't be banging other girls and then expect her to stay faithful.

Unless you've got a REALLY strong pimp-hand, and even then, you'd REALLY have to fvck with her head, which I personally wouldn't want to do.

 

[SoCalMike]

only mormans can do what you're trying buddy. LOL

 

[joekerr31]

why would you want a woman who was ok with you banging other chics?

that's like a woman wanting an wimpy afc male - makes no sense.

a quality woman would never put up with her man saying he's going to screw other women when he wants. unless of course she was ultra liberal and into 'open' relationships.

so either you got a chic into open relationships or you got a woman who lets her self get used (and then probably will pay you back passive aggressively by letting some other dude feed her starfish).

 

[NatiL]

you guys seem to look at this as if i'm coming from a pretty AFC frame.
that's simply not the case. she's willing to overlook the other girls because she wants to be with me quite badly.

yes it's not a serious relationship and sure we're not going to get married. but what should I do to **** with her head so she's mine and understands she shouldn't cheat on me / sleep around whatever? it might be impossible but .. i don't think so. she just asked me last night who i'd slept with while she was going down on me.. tricky situation.

 

[penkitten]

open relationships have a way of screwing over the person that created them to begin with. its never what you expected. feelings get hurt and then someone dumps the other person.

 

[decades]

if it's not serious why do you CARE so much? the truth of the matter is you want to have your cake and eat it to. you want to be able to screw around yet you get jealous if another guy so much as looks at her. I have some advice. Grow and up and be a man. So far, you don't deserve a high quality woman because you can't be trusted.

regards