Experience Of The Dumper Vs Being The Dumpee

[soulforge]

Hi Soulforge,
You were one of the lucky ones!....Mate of mine had A Russian Woman,lovely looking Lady. Things went real well for about six months then out of the Blue,the Gendarmes turned up,she had filed an apprehended violence order on him,he had 8 hours to leave his home,next Day it seems she got a Tradesman in to change the locks...He spent nearly a year fighting this in court eventually won the case and resumed his occupancy only to find All his furniture and White goods gone,Pictures,Tools,Garden Shed gone....Light fittings were ripped from the ceiling,carpets rolled up and sold...She even had an open garden sale for his Plants!....He believes she was wised up on this tactic by the Dating agency she used back home...The irony,after he settled in,there was a knock at the door,it was the Guy who had changed the locks wanting to be paid!

Wow man got screwed over big time.

I hear this quite alot about Eastern European chicks being very hot headed and agressive.

Then you get some claiming that they are quite feminine.

My two experiences with Eastern European chicks is, they got some anger issues!!

 

[Westminster]

Always try to be the dumper rather than the dumpee.

The most powerful tool a man has is to walk away as it shows self-respect and dignity. Many hot women have never been dumped (maybe grade school aside) and get crushed if they are on the receiving end.

If you want a 99% effective tool in correcting bad behavior in someone where there a dual emotional investment, call a time out on the relationship. That's like firing a tactical nuke. Huge impact but you're not destroying the relationship. You need to give 2-4 weeks minimum. But, it's been my experience that 99% of all men (no exaggeration) don't have the balls to do it or stick to it once the girl starts crying and pleading. If you're in the 1% that have balls, this works big.

Finally, any many with even a small amount of game and smarts can "sense" when things are off with their woman and she's plotting a breakup. If you find yourself in this position, never, I repeat NEVER try to plead or negotiate. It's over, Homes. So, you need to employ the Preemptive Breakup and dump her before she can dump you. This is more the ICBM approach where there will be fallout and destruction and the relationship will never be the same. But, you'll have you're self-respect and dignity and you'll feel better about being a man about it and just moving on with your life.

Be the 1%.

Good luck.
~Dash

Excellent post. Top drawer.

 

[soulforge]

Excellent post. Top drawer.

Brilliant post... However what is the difference between Walking Away and Dumping a girl.

I am guessing one is direct communication letting her know that we are done.

The other is just walking away and never contacting her again, unless she comes back pleading.

 

[Westminster]

Brilliant post... However what is the difference between Walking Away and Dumping a girl.

I am guessing one is direct communication letting her know that we are done.

The other is just walking away and never contacting her again, unless she comes back pleading.

I think you can walk away and communicate that clearly, it's just not an overt dump - although it might turn into one if she doesn't fall into line.

 

[soulforge]

I think you can walk away and communicate that clearly, it's just not an overt dump - although it might turn into one if she doesn't fall into line.

Yeh if you walk away and she doesn't apologise or make amends... It's pretty much a dump. Good riddance in that case.

Remember something. Men are very very unlikely to walk away considering how difficult it is to get more puzzy immediately. If a man is walking away, then without a doubt that chick is fvking things up real bad in that relationship.

 

[Westminster]

Yeh if you walk away and she doesn't apologise or make amends... It's pretty much a dump. Good riddance in that case.

Remember something. Men are very very unlikely to walk away considering how difficult it is to get more puzzy immediately. If a man is walking away, then without a doubt that chick is fvking things up real bad in that relationship.

It's true, it takes strength to walk away. But sometimes it's the right thing to do.

Certainly I should've done it more often. But partly its lazyness as well.

 

[soulforge]

It's true, it takes strength to walk away. But sometimes it's the right thing to do.

Certainly I should've done it more often. But partly its lazyness as well.

Something I have come to realise is this.. always look at the bigger picture. Living together, having children etc.. Think about the qualities a woman should have to give you a happy peaceful household as a man.

You are outhere facing the daily difficulties of life as a man... If you have a woman who doesn't appreciate your efforts, makes your life difficult, doesn't bring you peace, doesn't uplift you. Bro doesn't matter how tight her puss is or how hot she is... You have to drop that 304.

These type of girls slow poison you. After 3-4 years of dealing with girls like this, you Will become a shell of a man, broken, weak, damaged and the relationship will inevitably end. While you try to pick up the pieces of your broken life and damaged mental health, she will have moved onto the next dude, and getting slammed by him on the daily.

My advice is this... Vet very very carefully. Any sign of disrespect or low interest, absolutely do not give her a relationship. Smash her vag and then kick her to the curb.

 

[Westminster]

Something I have come to realise is this.. always look at the bigger picture. Living together, having children etc.. Think about the qualities a woman should have to give you a happy peaceful household as a man.

You are outhere facing the daily difficulties of life as a man... If you have a woman who doesn't appreciate your efforts, makes your life difficult, doesn't bring you peace, doesn't uplift you. Bro doesn't matter how tight her puss is or how hot she is... You have to drop that 304.

These type of girls slow poison you. After 3-4 years of dealing with girls like this, you Will become a shell of a man, broken, weak, damaged and the relationship will inevitably end. While you try to pick up the pieces of your broken life and damaged mental health, she will have moved onto the next dude, and getting slammed by him on the daily.

My advice is this... Vet very very carefully. Any sign of disrespect or low interest, absolutely do not give her a relationship. Smash her vag and then kick her to the curb.

Spot on.

That is how marriage turned out. Awful really.

 

[IKO69]

Always try to be the dumper rather than the dumpee.

The most powerful tool a man has is to walk away as it shows self-respect and dignity. Many hot women have never been dumped (maybe grade school aside) and get crushed if they are on the receiving end.

If you want a 99% effective tool in correcting bad behavior in someone where there a dual emotional investment, call a time out on the relationship. That's like firing a tactical nuke. Huge impact but you're not destroying the relationship. You need to give 2-4 weeks minimum. But, it's been my experience that 99% of all men (no exaggeration) don't have the balls to do it or stick to it once the girl starts crying and pleading. If you're in the 1% that have balls, this works big.

Finally, any many with even a small amount of game and smarts can "sense" when things are off with their woman and she's plotting a breakup. If you find yourself in this position, never, I repeat NEVER try to plead or negotiate. It's over, Homes. So, you need to employ the Preemptive Breakup and dump her before she can dump you. This is more the ICBM approach where there will be fallout and destruction and the relationship will never be the same. But, you'll have you're self-respect and dignity and you'll feel better about being a man about it and just moving on with your life.

Be the 1%.

Good luck.
~Dash

This is really good. When I was still an engaged man the relationship was essentially dead for the last 2 months but I refused to see this and put up with a lot of bs. Foolishly I tried to "smooth things over" to no avail. I fooled myself into thinking I could "turn things around". Things changed after that relationship however.

I sometimes don't understand the fellas who say they have a hard time with this. I say, guys have you ever suffered heart break before? Lol that should make it easy. You really have to rule with an iron fist- you have principles and if she severely tests you, she's out. Who gives a **** if she's "hot"? You pulled a hot woman before, you'll find another. What you did once you can do again. The alternative is much worse- the stress of dealing with bad bad person. Women won't extend you any sort of grace when they want out. They will even resent your kindness and treat you much worse when you try to be the nice guy.

Women are by far more cut throat and shrewd compared to men.

 

[bat soup]

Neither is easy, especially when it's a relationship that has lasted a long time.

 

[soulforge]

This is really good. When I was still an engaged man the relationship was essentially dead for the last 2 months but I refused to see this and put up with a lot of bs. Foolishly I tried to "smooth things over" to no avail. I fooled myself into thinking I could "turn things around". Things changed after that relationship however.

I sometimes don't understand the fellas who say they have a hard time with this. I say, guys have you ever suffered heart break before? Lol that should make it easy. You really have to rule with an iron fist- you have principles and if she severely tests you, she's out. Who gives a **** if she's "hot"? You pulled a hot woman before, you'll find another. What you did once you can do again. The alternative is much worse- the stress of dealing with bad bad person. Women won't extend you any sort of grace when they want out. They will even resent your kindness and treat you much worse when you try to be the nice guy.

Women are by far more cut throat and shrewd compared to men.

Most of us inherently know-understand that the relationship is not healthy, scarcity mindset keeps us there.

At the end of the relationship, we all pretty much have the same question, Why the hell did I not walk away from this sooner?

Over the years I have become a little more cut throat in regards with dealing with a woman BS.

I am willing to give them just ONE chance if it is somewhat of a serious offence, aslong as it is not cheating/attention whoring/breaking a major boundary.

Other than that, if she is bringing more stress/drama to my life and little value. It's best to cut your losses and drop her.

And yes it's better if YOU do the walking away.

 

[soulforge]

Neither is easy, especially when it's a relationship that has lasted a long time.

This absolutely true. Walking Away is a killer too, for us men it's a painful experience.

Neither is easy, especially when it's a relationship that has lasted a long time.

 

[IKO69]

Most of us inherently know-understand that the relationship is not healthy, scarcity mindset keeps us there.

At the end of the relationship, we all pretty much have the same question, Why the hell did I not walk away from this sooner?

Over the years I have become a little more cut throat in regards with dealing with a woman BS.

I am willing to give them just ONE chance if it is somewhat of a serious offence, aslong as it is not cheating/attention whoring/breaking a major boundary.

Other than that, if she is bringing more stress/drama to my life and little value. It's best to cut your losses and drop her.

And yes it's better if YOU do the walking away.

Walking away is about you. It's a demonstration of your strength and pride. You are showing you have standards and not placing yourself In a position of subservience. Why that has become the default with a lot of men I don't know. I suppose "go along to get along" but it doesn't work. When you are down women will dig the heel of their stiletto into you just a bit deeper. Appeasing never works; they resent weakness and lose respect further when a man shows no backbone.

I used to say that men had a bigger heart than women. Some women have big hearts so that isn't necessarily true, now I say (more accurately) that men are far more naive than women. Women are the much more pragmatic gender.

 

[Westminster]

This is really good. When I was still an engaged man the relationship was essentially dead for the last 2 months but I refused to see this and put up with a lot of bs. Foolishly I tried to "smooth things over" to no avail. I fooled myself into thinking I could "turn things around". Things changed after that relationship however.

I sometimes don't understand the fellas who say they have a hard time with this. I say, guys have you ever suffered heart break before? Lol that should make it easy. You really have to rule with an iron fist- you have principles and if she severely tests you, she's out. Who gives a **** if she's "hot"? You pulled a hot woman before, you'll find another. What you did once you can do again. The alternative is much worse- the stress of dealing with bad bad person. Women won't extend you any sort of grace when they want out. They will even resent your kindness and treat you much worse when you try to be the nice guy.

Women are by far more cut throat and shrewd compared to men.

I agree with you. You make several good points with this analysis.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

Breakup's are generally always harder for men in almost every aspect unless he actually wants to leave

A 7+ female could effectively be in a new relationship inside a week they have 50-100X the options their male equivalent would

A man really has to grind his way up the ladder and build confidence up to approach women

The real pain for a woman comes much later if she discovers you have become more successful without her

Or if she sees you have a new prettier girlfriend ............ this is a woman's worst nightmare

Yes being successful after a breakup is the best revenge

 

[soulforge]

Yes being successful after a breakup is the best revenge

This is spot on!

 

[Bokanovsky]

Hi Soulforge,
You were one of the lucky ones!....Mate of mine had A Russian Woman,lovely looking Lady. Things went real well for about six months then out of the Blue,the Gendarmes turned up,she had filed an apprehended violence order on him,he had 8 hours to leave his home,next Day it seems she got a Tradesman in to change the locks...He spent nearly a year fighting this in court eventually won the case and resumed his occupancy only to find All his furniture and White goods gone,Pictures,Tools,Garden Shed gone....Light fittings were ripped from the ceiling,carpets rolled up and sold...She even had an open garden sale for his Plants!....He believes she was wised up on this tactic by the Dating agency she used back home...The irony,after he settled in,there was a knock at the door,it was the Guy who had changed the locks wanting to be paid!

Your friend made a big mistake letting her move in so early (or at all).

 

[tightgrp]

A man will always gradually invest more and more ,while a woman will invest less and less.

Most men will first dip their toes into the water and over time gaim confidence that she " won't go anywhere ". Lets take the 1st 6 months. After that time a man will slowly let his guard down ( aka become more bluepilled) while for her the initial spark starts fading. Around 6 months is the first crossroad. Especially women that are serial daters are prone to this!

Its a cruel twist of love. Men love slowly while women love fast. By the time a man actually loves, he can't "just " go back. On top of all this, the dumper always been contemplating the break up weeks or even months before executing. Moslty woman -man , so a man might feel safe while the ship was sunken months ago already.

Experience teaches us to recognize the signs she's about to stray..

Invest is the right term. A man has to be aware of and guard against too much emotional investment in a woman.

The same could be said about a great many other things but few things expose a man more than that of a woman.

 

[kookdekoo]

I dumped my LTR recently. Better to be a dumper than a dumpee. Gave her three chances. Didn't improve. Same combative behaviour. Same drama and argumentative BS. In hindsight, turns out she was a covert narcissist. Hence wouldn't improve...
After my dumping , she tried to hoover me in by guilt tripping and making statements like 'you have ruined my life. I shouldn't have trusted you so much" etc. But strangely, never once did she offer a sincere apology for her behavor. Not once...

 

[soulforge]

I dumped my LTR recently. Better to be a dumper than a dumpee. Gave her three chances. Didn't improve. Same combative behaviour. Same drama and argumentative BS. In hindsight, turns out she was a covert narcissist. Hence wouldn't improve...
After my dumping , she tried to hoover me in by guilt tripping and making statements like 'you have ruined my life. I shouldn't have trusted you so much" etc. But strangely, never once did she offer a sincere apology for her behavor. Not once...

Your situation sounds very much like mine. Couple of incidents where she disrespected me. I walked away, then she came pleading for another chance.

Pretty much the whole 9 months was combativeness & drama. And just like you, never an apology, unless she was forced to, because I walked away.

In the end, decided to press the red button and launch the nuke. Told he to leave my house as she was getting combative, she packed her crap and left. Been NC since!

Better to be the dumper in the face of this kinda nonsense.