Exhilarated by "thrill of the chase" ... then MY interest drops. Can anyone relate?

[strong like bull]

heres an example:

2 months ago i hit it off with a 6'1", 17 yr old german exchange student. cute girl. sweet personality. morals. ethics. voluptious body. great, right?

when we met, it was exhilarating. lots of chemistry; sparks flying everywhere.

a month into dating, my interest peaked. hers just kept rising. took her on fun dates, like ice skating, etc. great times. several times shed been back at my place, without hesitation. rounded the bases without her putting up last minute defenses.

evidently she was having a good enough time; she brought up being exclusive. asked if it could be just her and i; no one else.

now reaching two months...

bleh? she makes the effort. always calls me. stops at my job, after school, to see how im doing. i appreciate this, i really do, but i have no... lust for her. no passion, no interest. i really dont care. by my choice, we havent slept together yet. frankly, at this point, i dont want to.

the thrill is gone.

im a young guy; 18. ive only been dating for about a year. is this just a part of weeding out the incompatible partners? heres a beautiful girl who could easily work as a model, a girl who most guys would crawl on their knees for... and i cant help but see her glaring flaws. things that keep me from becoming attached to her. such as, her being an exchange student and having to leave the country, for good, in June.

on top of that, ive been meeting lots of other girls. bah.. im starting to see why the experienced DJs support dating several girls at once. youre quicker to find the girl that works for you.

could use some input,
slb.

 

[doctor evil]

slow it down

you need a hobby other then her. Don't see her everyday. It's like talking everyday and things just get boring cause you don't have stuff to talk about anymore. Need time to yourself and then you can figure out if she fits you. Tell her this but don't break off anything yet unless you think seeing other girls would help you with this boredom. Recharge yourself and don't use up all the tricks in your bag that quickly just like don't eat too fast or other things in the bedroom that I won't mention.

 

[strong like bull]

i agree. but ive already been doing those things

weve been getting together once a week; ONE TIME twice a week. we have a great time, i end the date and drop her off. i keep our phone chats under 5 mins. pretty much call her, let her tell me about her day, then set up a get together.

as far as hobbies go, im in the gym 3 days a week and play basketball couple times a week. not to mention i work 40-50hrs a week.

i think im beginning to answer my own question... probably just going to next her.

 

[jbbrain]

A guy named Player Supreme would ask you:

Are u sure its not you who's boring? Maybe you're not giving her anything to think about which she could, in turn, use to turn you on again.

Bullshyt. If you're not having a good time with this girl and truly feel apathetic about the whole thing, just move on..it's really that simple. No blame needs to be laid, you're just not feeling it. Simple as that, and don't always try to qualify your boredom either.

Oh yeah, but please, hit it up at least once before you quit it, dig?

 

[Slickster]

A little advice:

You're young and so is she.

You shouldn't be getting all attached to any girl at 18. Sounds like you are looking for a girlfriend and don't want to waste anytime with this one because she's leaving.

You've had fun with this chick and there has been a definate connection there. Sounds like a good friendship and good times.

Don't get caught up over thinking your relationship with her. She is leaving the country. She is going to be one of the many women you will have in your lifetime.

Take it for what it is. Good times. All those other chicks you've been meeting, would they give it up as easily as a liberal minded European woman? I'll bet not. What an opportunity you have here!

You should be screwing her like crazy until June and then moving on with no regrets. You'd learn alot.

Speaking of regrets. That is exactly what you'd have in a few years when thinking back "Why didn't I ball that super hot German chick? Doh!"

All you young guns in such a hurry to find the "right" girl. You have so much time and so many women ahead of you. Take them as they come and quit thinking that you are wasting your time. You're all so critical that you *next* a girl because she's not a perfect match for you. What are you going to do if you find the "perfect" girl? Settle down and marry her at 21?

Enjoy your youth and have fun. Don't take your relationships so seriously.

 

[strong like bull]

thanks for the advice.

jbbrain, i unknowlingly followed your advice. i talked to her today; let her go. she wasnt doing it for me.

slickster, even though this situation is over, youve given me a wonderful perspective to take with future girls. youre absolutely right; im a young guy who should be enjoying the good times. i should just go with the flow... and thats what im going to do.

thanks,
SLB.

 

[jbbrain]

Originally posted by Slickster
A little advice:

You're young and so is she.

You shouldn't be getting all attached to any girl at 18. Sounds like you are looking for a girlfriend and don't want to waste anytime with this one because she's leaving.

You've had fun with this chick and there has been a definate connection there. Sounds like a good friendship and good times.

Don't get caught up over thinking your relationship with her. She is leaving the country. She is going to be one of the many women you will have in your lifetime.

Take it for what it is. Good times. All those other chicks you've been meeting, would they give it up as easily as a liberal minded European woman? I'll bet not. What an opportunity you have here!

You should be screwing her like crazy until June and then moving on with no regrets. You'd learn alot.

Speaking of regrets. That is exactly what you'd have in a few years when thinking back "Why didn't I ball that super hot German chick? Doh!"

All you young guns in such a hurry to find the "right" girl. You have so much time and so many women ahead of you. Take them as they come and quit thinking that you are wasting your time. You're all so critical that you *next* a girl because she's not a perfect match for you. What are you going to do if you find the "perfect" girl? Settle down and marry her at 21?

Enjoy your youth and have fun. Don't take your relationships so seriously.

Slickster is absolutely correct. But with his frame of mind (enjoying your youth etc) I wouldn't be so gfast to commit. I can have all the fun I want with as many girls as I want, with the smallest regardws to her personality, compatibility etc. IF I was just dating them casually...something I endorse completely.

HOWEVER, even if you are young, 18, 22, whatver, and you decide to settle down, it's because of a reason. In my case, Ive settled down with a girl only because I REALLY REALLY LIKE HER. In this case, I'm goign to take my relationship much more seriously then the 5 girls I was banging in september. Its different, you invest some emotion, you make a connection, it FEELS like a real relationship, even if you are young. As such, if you're not feeling it anymore with her, for whatver reason, let her know. Break it off and enjoy the single life once again.

But I think you should have still banged her senseless...you weren't eveen dating SO SERIOUSLY, why were you so quick to write her off?

 

[strong like bull]

But I think you should have still banged her senseless...you weren't eveen dating SO SERIOUSLY, why were you so quick to write her off?

the best way i could put it, without going into heavy detail...

i discovered certains things about her, both in her personality and her physical state, that while not repulsive, turned me off. completely. shes a beautiful girl, but things came up that completely killed my drive for her. traits of hers. at one point, kissing her and touching her gave me no sexual spark whatsoever; whereas before id get a hardon just from laying next to her. my IL was rock-bottom.

at that point, i decided it was over.

 

[iqqi]

a lesson in female djism

your girl is an afc.

she failed to accurately qualify you, and she didn't give herself value.

she made all the effort, and did everything. she basically became your doormat, and is too available.

that would make her seem needy, boring, no interests outside of you, and easy. you did right by nexting her. she needs to do some SELF improvement.

she failed to intrigue and challenge you.

ladies of sosuave, do not make this mistake. this goes for the men too.

when beginning a relationship, you must give yourself SPACE. to breathe, to think, to grow, to contemplate. and they need space to MISS YOU. to realize if they like you, too!

i know it is hard, you want to just BE with them. but resist! do not become a needy AFC. noone wants that. noone needs that. maintain your IDENTITY.

sir, step AWAY from the relationship.