Exclusivity?

[Bgarrido]

I'm a junior in high school and I'm posting this question in here because the high school forums pretty quiet.

I've been talking to this girl for about 2 months and the relationship moved pretty quickly... She texted me everyday for about 3 weeks and we talked all day, moved to skyping for hours on weekends and we went out for the first time yesterday to the movies, held hands and she was comfortable when i put my arm around her shoulder and even moved in and put her head on my shoulder for the rest of the movie...

I really like this girl but I'm not sure if I should ask for the exclusiveness or should I wait awhile and wait to see if she asks for it? Also do you guys think it's too soon to ask for it??

 

[roxywatson001]

Hello Dear,

I can't say anything about it because i never involved with it. According to me leave her.

 

[Rubato]

I'm a junior in high school and I'm posting this question in here because the high school forums pretty quiet.

It is very wise of you to seek the advice of older men. One of the hallmarks of a successful person is the ability to seek wisdom from those who have already traveled the road they are attempting to traverse.

I've been talking to this girl for about 2 months and the relationship moved pretty quickly...

You're in HS so I'm going to keep that in mind as I give you advice. Given that you've been talking to the girl for 2 MONTHS and you just now held her hand, I wouldn't say that's moving pretty quickly. Are you afraid of escalating with this girl?

She texted me everyday for about 3 weeks and we talked all day, moved to skyping for hours on weekends and we went out for the first time yesterday to the movies

Firstly, I'm going to assume from what you said that she initiated the texting convos. That's good IOI if she's always initiating, but but dude, when you are so available that you can talk to her with that much frequency, you're subtly letting her know that you don't have anything else going on in your life. You said

"She texted me everyday". That's a lot.

"And we talked all day". That's even more. Unless you're giving this girl some big philosophy monologue or saying the same crap over and over again, what in the world could you possibly have to talk about with a girl ALL DAY for 3 WEEKS?

You are making yourself way too available bro. Scarcity is a huge amplifier of attraction when it is already present (note - scarcity will not do anything if attraction is not present).

And to add to all of this, now you're Skyping on the weekends for HOURS? Don't you see this girl at school? You are killing all of the mystery that this relationship has the potential for by making yourself so available. I have no idea what you're talking about with her, but I have a feeling you've already told her quite a bit about yourself. What do you know about her? Are you qualifying her? Are you vetting this girl? Or is she qualifying and vetting you? You're giving her an AWFUL lot of attention that she's probably done nothing to earn

And then you went on a date.

[we] held hands and she was comfortable when i put my arm around her shoulder and even moved in and put her head on my shoulder for the rest of the movie...

Good. You held hands. I know when you're in high school that may seem like a big step, but the leap between not holding hands and holding hands is nothing compared to sex, which I'm presuming is what you ultimately want here. Holding hands is not a big deal. Putting your arm around her and "cuddling" is also good, but again, it's not huge, especially if you haven't been sexually escalating. (BTW, if you don't really know what things like qualifying, vetting, and sexually escalating mean, please ask)

She put her head on your shoulder. That's an IOI too. But all things considered, if that's the extent of your sexual relationship, it's not a big deal. I can go out to a club (and anyone can do this... it has nothing to do with being a good DJ, it's more like shooting fish in a barrel) and grind my pen1s in to some girl's a$$ for a few songs with my hands around her waist, even feeling her up. And dude, it doesn't mean much. Granted, the night club scene is totally different than HS game, but I think you get what I'm saying here.

I really like this girl but I'm not sure if I should ask for the exclusiveness or should I wait awhile and wait to see if she asks for it? Also do you guys think it's too soon to ask for it??

You haven't even kissed this girl and you are thinking about being exclusive with her? It sounds like you're setting yourself up to be friendzoned and become this girl's emotional tampon. Watch this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-H57zcozi7k

It sounds like there has been next to zero sexual escalation on your part and if you want things to go anywhere with this girl, you're going to have to man up and start escalating. A good way to get this started is through a technique called Breaking Rapport (again, if you don't know what these things mean on a function level, you have to ask. It won't help if you don't know). Anymore, I don't get super in to these "pickup artist" people because IMO it's much better to learn how to be a good man than it is to learn how to seduce a woman as a subpar man. But, that's not to say that PUA's don't have their proper uses. If you don't know who he is, look up Adam Lyons.

He has 2 long videos on Youtube from the 21 convention you can and should watch. He actually has a formula for attraction that if you're not already familiar with, will be helpful. It goes:

Comfort
Breaking Rapport
Attraction
Sexual Escalation

You have done 1 million times more than enough to have established sufficient comfort with this girl. You've also established a lot of rapport. It's time to BREAK that rapport and start attracting this girl. Think about this: You are in constant communication with this girl, given her truckloads of attention, and buying her things (the movie ticket). Do you really think you are going to make a girl like you by doing these things???

NO!!!!!!!

DON'T ask her anything about exclusivity given that you haven't even kissed her yet.

I will post your success plan next:

 

[Rubato]

Bgarrido's Dating Success Plan

Strategically withdrawal from this girl and make yourself about 1/5th available as you have been previously. This is a variation of No Contact, but I don't think in this case full no contact is necessary. Because you've had such an incredible amount of contact with the girl, limited yourself to about 1/5th of what you were doing before will have a dramatic effect. Remember, you don't have to respond to every text, phone call, ect. As we will see later, you will have other things to do....

Also, stop Skyping this girl. You don't live a million miles away and you see her 5 times a week at school already. That's more than enough.

You obviously have a LOT of free time, so find something productive to do with it. Learn how to play an instrument, do woodworking, start working out (really, start lifting immediately), anything. You have too much free time and need to find a passion to fill it with. Be it some philosophy book (Immanuel Kant is really good and if you can get that in HS, your mind will be ready for college), any hobby I've already suggested or something else. Physical activity will make you in better shape and do wonderful things for you like increase your natural testosterone levels and decrease your natural estrogen levels. Do you realize that even in men, ALL fat cells secrete estrogen??? Go to the health and fitness forums and politely ask for advice about how to get started with a good workout routine/diet. In the meantime, hike, rock climb, join a sports team, play sports, FILL UP YOUR TIME!!!!!! If you want to be a DJ, you have to to realize you have the world at your disposal and all of this free time you have is an absolute waste when you can't find a passion to fill it with. And that passion should never ever ever be a woman who has done nothing to earn it. And a woman should never be a man's only passion.

Then, start breaking rapport. If you don't know what that is, ask or figure it out. You can do this through C & F, push/pull, whatever. And do this in a way that's sexualized and sexual. Read Atom Smasher's stickied thread about how to be more sexual. Start being more sexual. Immediately.

Make another date with the girl. Do not leave it up to her. Come armed with a plan, time, and date and tell her what all of those things will be. Don't leave anything up to her. And avoid a traditional dating frame (like dinner and a movie). Do something that involves more action like rock climbing, hiking, or even bowling. Or just take her to your house and watch a movie. IE

You - Let's go out this weekend.
Her - Okay
You - We'll watch X movie at my house. I'll pick you up Friday night at 6.
Her - Okay

If this confuses you at all, read my most recent post about telling girls what to do and read my post entitled "advice" and pay particular attention to the advice Victory Unlimited gave me.... listen to everything that guy says!

Once you have plans, follow through with them obviously. And you will have to sexually escalate in order to avoid friendzoning yourself. If you can't kiss the girl sometime during this date, as far as I'm concerned, you're done. You have already held her hand. That's not a big deal anymore. You've already cuddled. That's not a big deal anymore. If you can be with a girl who's resting her head on your shoulder and you can't move over and kiss her, there's a problem.

And this may be debatable on these boards, but when you kiss the girl, don't be a wussy about it. You either kiss the girl with conviction or don't kiss her at all. What I like to do is when I'm on the couch with the girl and have my right arm around her, at some point and turn my body towards her and with CONVICTION, put my left hand on her cheek and draw her in towards me while I move towards her. I have strong eye contact with the girl initially with a look on my face that comes naturally from thinking "I want to fvck the sh1t out of you RIGHT NOW" and then move my gaze down to her lips. And I kiss her.

You are the man. It's time to start leading. Let me know if you have anymore questions.

 

[Bgarrido]

I go to an all guys school so that's why we talk so much.. How many texts should I reply to then?? I'm in good shape man Im on varsity basketball, football and track