This is sort of the problem with single moms. They will eventually and subconsciously want the man to pay and be a role model for their child(ren). It's just a consequence of entangling your lives. Almost all of them will tell you that they're not looking for help in any way, but then you suddenly will hear that you don't spend enough time with little Jimmie, or why don't you pay for "our" family when we go to the zoo etc etc.
It's delusional to be with a single mom and believe that you don't have to be involved in some way. The child is her life and will be a part of yours too eventually if you go for one. Then you get attached to lil' jimmie and receive double the heartbreak when she decides to continue her irrational lifestyle choices and leave you.
It's understandable to date single mother's when you've children yourself but know exactly what you get yourself into.
yeah you are right and make no mistake I'm under not illusion and expect to contribute financially and spend time with their child... which I'm more than happy to do and not just in a begrudging, sly way to keep her onside.
it's more when I've started speaking to some singles mums and they'll ask what I do, then when I ask them it's been 'I work part time as an admin at school' despite her having 3 kids. One it will be a pain the arse doing most things with 4 kids, plus would require bigger house, car, holidays etc and by the fact she has a low income means its clear I'll be contributing a lot financially, which I'd resent.
another woman had 3 kids and had just lost her job fixing curtains and was desperately trying to get a low level office job. Again, not for me as per reasons above. clearly they're going to be expecting a big financial contribution along with life generally being consumed by her kids.
the woman I'm seeing has 1 kid (year older than mine so similar age) and a 6 figure salary, so although I've no doubt I'll be paying for her child at points, the expectation and expenditure from financial pov won't be as much. I really don't mind making significant contributions, without being a total mug or telling her that, as I know her child is part of package. I'm quite happy being generous to those I care about and get a lot of satisfaction from doing it.
plus if I'm honest, I quite like the idea of my daughter having a step sister as I have no intention of having more myself. days out with all of us have been great, feels like the next best thing to having a proper family.
my main reservations are that she pulled the plug on previous marriage (although her ex was a total loser who couldn't hold down a job for years) and due to earning large wage could just see men as fun, disposable when/if she gets bored as time goes on as doesn't really need a man in her life. but so far things are progressing nicely.
That's why it's important to keep doing what's important to you: business, career, keeping in shape etc. So if they do pull the plug, that's their issue and you haven't sacrificed everything for a woman... probably why a lot of men spiral into a bad state after a breakup. Which ironically also means you're more likely to keep relationship going in my opinion: keeps you attractive, more respect for you, rather than bending over completely and letting them gradually take away whats important to you, under some misguided belief by compromising everything you're keeping them happy. Has to be a degree of selfishness.
