Ex wife wants reconcilliation...

[WhiskeyTango]

Quick background. Two years ago I found my ex-wife (13 year marriage, 3 kids) cheating, my old blue pill self tried to reconcile the marriage. That lasted for 4 months and we separated and she moved into an apartment. I begged and pleaded for her to come back. At times she would warm up, we would stay together for a few days then she would blow up and turn cold and distant. This went on for 7 or 8 months. It was the darkest time in my life. Then I had an employee tell me about MGTOW, Rollo T., and other sites like this. After becoming red pill aware and doing ALOT of self-help work, I divorced her in March and have been running game since April. Fast forward to today. I’m spinning 3 plates and my number 1 plate has been getting a lot of my attention lately. She is an easy HB9, fun to hang with, the best a$$ I have ever seen, great sex and no crazy behavior (yet). Well plate 1 posted pictures of us together at a concert two weeks ago. Since then my ex-wife has been blowing me up with text, email, letters all wanting to reconcile. She said she made the biggest mistake in her life and would do anything to get back with me. She says she doesn’t want anyone but me. Leaving voice mails where she is crying so hard I can barely understand what she is saying. I can tell she is devastated and it is her own fault. Here is my thing though…I genuinely feel bad for her. 8 months ago I was hoping this would happen, now I hate the fact she is hurt, despite how bad she hurt me. I f**king teared up last night thinking of how bad she hurts. WTF??? Why do I feel bad about this?

 

[Billtx49]

Because to a certain degree you still care for her. Spend enough time with someone and some feelings take longer than others to disappear.
Conscious vs Subconscious…

 

[Desdinova]

Why do I feel bad about this?

Do you think she was feeling bad about it when she was fvcking that other guy while wearing the ring you bought her? Do you think she was feeling bad about it when she was putting another man's jizz into her body that didn't create any of her three kids? Do you think she was feeling bad about it when she was pushing you away when you genuinely wanted it to work out?

You only feel bad about it because you're the only one who was 100% in the relationship. You took your wedding vows seriously and were ready to be there for her until one of you died. A 13 year relationship doesn't become irrelevant after only 2 years of healing. That's a long-ass time to be with somebody, and you can't just wipe that out of your mind.

However, if you get back together with her, I will personally come down there and kick you in the ba11s. You put 100% effort into the relationship. You put 100% effort into making the marriage work. She put 0% effort into it. She fvcked around on you like you were an irrelevant piece of 5hit.

Those wedding vows were her ONE chance at making it work. Till death do you part. Through health and sickness. A woman shouldn't need a warning or a "second chance" after she's gone through a wedding ceremony. She knows she's been legally bound to you and that it's wrong to entertain the idea of fvcking around on her husband in any way, shape or form. Even society, as fvcked up as it may be, still teaches that it's wrong to fvck around on your spouse. She didn't listen to the vows, society, nor you. She believed that she was above all of that and has all of you by the ba11s. She believes she can get anything she wants with some tears and crying. Don't you dare fvcking give in.

One thing that dating multiple women has done to me is it's made me impartial to women who cry. I've seen pretty much every woman I've dated for any significant amount of time cry. When you've seen so many women cry, you get immune to it. It doesn't change anything. They're having their bucket of emotions shaken up and they're spilling onto the floor. A good cry doesn't change a person's core morals and values. After she's finished having a good cry, she'll still fvck around on you and justify it in her mind.

Ignore her. Block her. Stay away from her. She is a lonely, crumbling piece of 5hit.

 

[WhiskeyTango]

Big Smile! Thanks Des! Funny, my father told me the same thing about driving here to kick my a$$ if i even thought about getting back with her.

 

[LiveYourDream]

If everything had worked out with her affair partner, she wouldn't be reaching out to you now. She'd be busy flaunting her 'new life' on Facebook.

Never stoop to be a woman's fallback plan.

 

[LiveYourDream]

While she may tell you she regrets her affair, in truth, she likely just regrets that it didn't work out for her, the way she hoped and imagined it would.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

You cared about her. You married her I assume because you wanted to make her happy. Of course you feel bad when she is unhappy.

But don't. I am in a similar situation. If I show any weakness around my ex she is on to it like a terrier on a sausage.

It is ojk to feel sad and remorseful. Just don't let those feelings control you abd make you maje some BAAAAAD decisions.

 

[WhiskeyTango]

Is it just me or is the fact that your wh0re ex wife cheated on you not the best thing that ever happened to you?

Don't take her back she just got dumped and wants you back now that she's alone and sees you with better hotter women.

OP if you even ATTEMPT to break it off with the hb9 to take back this slvt you used to call a wife I will personally join the war party coming over to your house and kick the sh*t out of you!

HaHa. I'm not taking her back. I just said I felt bad for her. I just didn't know why I would feel bad her after the sh*t show she put me through. Des really hit the nail on the head. After 13 years of marraige and 3 kids with her, its going to take more than a couple of years to fully heal. I told the ex last night I am finally in an a very good place emotionally and mentally so why in the hell would I ever want to go back to what she had to offer. Anyway I'm signing off for the weekend to go spin my numbeer 1 plate tonight and tomorrow and plate 3 Sunday.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Just remember, she doesn't give a sh*t about you. She just cares about herself. Write down all the f*cked up things she did and pull that list out and review it if you ever feel sorry for her again.

-Augustus-

 

[speed dawg]

What are the ages of your 3 kids and with what parent to they live?

 

[Glassguy]

I have a very good friend of mine going through this now.

His ex wife fvcked around, he moved out, they got a divorce and she had some loser move in before the ink dried. She has been on and off with this new guy for a year and a half. They are great, then she kicks him out or he leaves, she runs to my friend for attention and then the loser new guy is back in the picture again. Vicious cycle.

He is finally standing up for himself, after the new guy is out of the picture again (for now) and she has initiated contact about her and my friend trying to work it out.

I asked my friends a simple question: Would you ever be able to fully trust her again or would you be walking around on egg shells the rest of your life and this stuff ALWAYS be in the back of your mind?

Of course his answer was he would never fully trust her.

I am divorced, my wife had an affair and I made her leave. She made a run at me a month before our divorce was actually final.

I didnt think about all the good times we had. I thought about sleeping on the couch for 6 months, her hiding her phone, setting lock screen passwords, all the way up to her phone ALWAYS being on silent mode. Did I want to live my life and spend my valuable time worrying about what she was doing because the trust was gone? No way.

So think about your own version of that stuff the next time she calls you crying her eyes out. Just politely tell her that divorce is FINAL in your eyes and you have moved on. She made her bed, let her sleep in it.

You are spinning plates and getting back out there......nice job man! Dont jeopardize meeting someone great because you are still half holding the door open for your ex.

 

[WhiskeyTango]

What are the ages of your 3 kids and with what parent to they live?

12, 10 and 7. We have joint custody. We alternate weeks with the kids.

 

[speed dawg]

12, 10 and 7. We have joint custody. We alternate weeks with the kids.

Having kids changes things. I would have originally told you to stay in the marriage until they are grown, as anti-red pill as that seems. Your kids matter more. But at this point, you've already divorced, so getting back together would just confuse the situation and reinforce to the kids that there are no consequences to any action.

I would not bring any of your plates around your kids though, to be honest. That's just a personal deal for me. I know you cannot control your wife, but it is what it is.

 

[BeTheChange]

Just out of interest do you feel like you did anything to contribute to her stepping out?

Do you think you were a good husband?

 

[WhiskeyTango]

Just out of interest do you feel like you did anything to contribute to her stepping out?

Do you think you were a good husband?

Let's see...Other than Blue Pill mangina. I didn't do a damn thing to contribute to her stepping out. Was extremely loyal. Never once stepped out on her. Went to work, provided for the family, helped with housework, kids homework, after school activities, had great sex 7 to 10 times a month (this came up in counseling. The ex even said the sex was the only thing the marriage that was good.) What I did was I gave up my frame and started to allow her to dictate what we would do for vacations, where we would go on dates, what friends we would spend time with. Over the course of the marriage I gave up most of my hobbies I had before we met, in the name of spending time with the family. Looking back at it, I was a blue pill pu$$y. Rollo T's book The Rational Male hit me at the core when I read it. That was the red pill beginning for me.

 

[Asmodeus]

Let's see...Other than Blue Pill mangina. I didn't do a damn thing to contribute to her stepping out. Was extremely loyal. Never once stepped out on her. Went to work, provided for the family, helped with housework, kids homework, after school activities, had great sex 7 to 10 times a month (this came up in counseling. The ex even said the sex was the only thing the marriage that was good.) What I did was I gave up my frame and started to allow her to dictate what we would do for vacations, where we would go on dates, what friends we would spend time with. Over the course of the marriage I gave up most of my hobbies I had before we met, in the name of spending time with the family. Looking back at it, I was a blue pill pu$$y. Rollo T's book The Rational Male hit me at the core when I read it. That was the red pill beginning for me.

She betrayed you... You owe her nothing. You are not to blame for what happened, she made a decision... We all have choices in life, and she chose to deceive you. You may have been acting "blue pill" but that in no ways was any kind of justification for her deception an cheating.

The greatest fear a woman has is in losing "the one"... I have said it on this forum before to others. She wanted you to be miserable and fail, because that would have justified her actions. But you defied her wants and instead became more happy and successful and found yourself around many beautiful women. She failed to achieve her dream, and she ended up the failure. You ended up the success. It took this long for her to realize that she fvcked up. That she lost a good thing.

Let the weight of that regret crush her, let realize the cost for her sins and have her just deserts. She brought it upon herself, this is what she deserves.

 

[sodbuster]

after the Divorce, some of my staff asked me if we'd get back together. I told her "I'd cut my **** off first" She had her chance,blew it when she thought she could push me around

 

[dude99]

Quick background. Two years ago I found my ex-wife (13 year marriage, 3 kids) cheating, my old blue pill self tried to reconcile the marriage. That lasted for 4 months and we separated and she moved into an apartment. I begged and pleaded for her to come back. At times she would warm up, we would stay together for a few days then she would blow up and turn cold and distant. This went on for 7 or 8 months. It was the darkest time in my life. Then I had an employee tell me about MGTOW, Rollo T., and other sites like this. After becoming red pill aware and doing ALOT of self-help work, I divorced her in March and have been running game since April. Fast forward to today. I’m spinning 3 plates and my number 1 plate has been getting a lot of my attention lately. She is an easy HB9, fun to hang with, the best a$$ I have ever seen, great sex and no crazy behavior (yet). Well plate 1 posted pictures of us together at a concert two weeks ago. Since then my ex-wife has been blowing me up with text, email, letters all wanting to reconcile. She said she made the biggest mistake in her life and would do anything to get back with me. She says she doesn’t want anyone but me. Leaving voice mails where she is crying so hard I can barely understand what she is saying. I can tell she is devastated and it is her own fault. Here is my thing though…I genuinely feel bad for her. 8 months ago I was hoping this would happen, now I hate the fact she is hurt, despite how bad she hurt me. I f**king teared up last night thinking of how bad she hurts. WTF??? Why do I feel bad about this?

Simply say " sorry honey but our actions (yours) have consequences. The consequences of what you did is no longer having me in your life. I feel bad for you. I really do, but i have moved on and beyond every resolving anything with you. I tried. You wouldn't have it. Now my life travels one way. Forward. I wish you well but i have to go pick up my girl for a date. Take care."

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

"sorry honey, speak up. It is really hard to concentrate while my **** is getting sucked. Can you call back in 10 mins, oh wait a minute, Bambi says make it an hour."

 

[Kailex]

At some point in your marriage... you were Plan B. At some point after your divorce... you are still Plan B.

Don't be Plan B. Don't be Plan Z. Be no plan for her ever again.