Ex wife ****ed someone else while divorced

[way2smart]

I'm trying to figure out why in hell you'd want to go back to this. Things are calm right now, but I guarantee you're going to end up experiencing all this 5hit again. I think all the garbage you previously went through with her is much, much worse than her fvcking some other dude.

You were exactly right. I dumped her again for the same reasons.

 

[Desdinova]

You were exactly right. I dumped her again for the same reasons.

Good fvcking riddance. Now keep it that way. There is always a better woman out there.

 

[Glassguy]

What do expect someone to do in 1.5 years?

For once I agree with Richard.

 

[dude99]

Yep, here I am after a few months. I am not heartbroken but I had to dump her again, because all those issues came back. She went back to being BPD after about a month.

Lesson learned. Never get back with your ex. Never ever.

She never stopped being bpd.

There is no cure for cluster b behaviour. Only meds to "numb" it.

It never goes away.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

She never stopped being bpd.

There is no cure for cluster b behaviour. Only meds to "numb" it.

It never goes away.

Bull****. You can fix it without any meds at all if someone has enough drive for it. It’s just that no one ever does anymore because there’s no real incentive to. People are weak. We suck.

 

[Billtx49]

Bull****. You can fix it without any meds at all if someone has enough drive for it. It’s just that no one ever does anymore because there’s no real incentive to. People are weak. We suck.

Your breakthrough sounds good but I’m not real sure how a woman changes her personality… If so, it’s big psych news. Please explain how that process works.
Keep in mind though that her behavior is driven by her personality, so don’t use a changing her behavior approach.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Your breakthrough sounds good but I’m not real sure how a woman changes her personality… If so, it’s big psych news. Please explain how that process works.
Keep in mind though that her behavior is driven by her personality, so don’t use a changing her behavior approach.

It’s literally just brute force mental work.

 

[RedScorpion]

It’s literally just brute force mental work.

I agree it's possible, through the way you mentioned.

It's just that it requires consistent mental retraining (years in scale), and a large self-awareness of how their mental structure is formed. Knowing what you're trying to instill in yourself, and how exactly to retrain your mind. And applying it in a careful, healthy manner. Which is not necessarily easy if you have an unhealthy mental pattern in the first place.

Real incentive I think usually come from a need to change as well (perhaps as survivalism), rather than a simple desire. It can be easy to drift back into old traits as well - but less easy to fall back into as you work on it.

Like a spaceship leaving a gravity well. Hardest at first, but you need to continue apply that thrust away until it virtually has no effect on you. But even at a fair distance... it has still a very weak pull, and still need some very minor thrust to maintain it.

It's easy to give up as well, because the increment of change may as well be 0.01-0.02% everyday. Not really noticeable until you review yourself much later on.

I think all people have that potential to change. It's just that fulfilling the requirements is a fairly tedious task - and some gravity wells are massive compared to others. Still... it doesn't have to be a complete change. It can be a partial or a coping method.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I agree it's possible, through the way you mentioned.

It's just that it requires consistent mental retraining (years in scale), and a large self-awareness of how their mental structure is formed. Knowing what you're trying to instill in yourself, and how exactly to retrain your mind. And applying it in a careful, healthy manner. Which is not necessarily easy if you have an unhealthy mental pattern in the first place.

Real incentive I think usually come from a need to change as well (perhaps as survivalism), rather than a simple desire. It can be easy to drift back into old traits as well - but less easy to fall back into as you work on it.

Like a spaceship leaving a gravity well. Hardest at first, but you need to continue apply that thrust away until it virtually has no effect on you. But even at a fair distance... it has still a very weak pull, and still need some very minor thrust to maintain it.

It's easy to give up as well, because the increment of change may as well be 0.01-0.02% everyday. Not really noticeable until you review yourself much later on.

I think all people have that potential to change. It's just that fulfilling the requirements is a fairly tedious task - and some gravity wells are massive compared to others. Still... it doesn't have to be a complete change. It can be a partial or a coping method.

An example of someone who has done this is David Goggins. It's really long, but honestly it was worth it for me because it just resonated so much:

 

[dude99]

Bull****. You can fix it without any meds at all if someone has enough drive for it. It’s just that no one ever does anymore because there’s no real incentive to. People are weak. We suck.

Sorry dude but people who are truly void of empathy can't fix it to suddenly have something they never had. A true cluster b isn't fixable. If they claimed to be fixed or better it is only part of their rouse they are pulling. This is repeated over and over by scores of psychologist.

A self centered person can be fixed.
A selfish person can be fixed.
An azzhole can be fixed
A mean tempered person can be fixed.

If a poor quality person works at it and gets better then they were just a poor quality person and not a full cluster b

A person without empathy can not suddenly develop empath.

 

[way2smart]

She's not "bpd".

Most women get depressed and funny - especially around this time of year. It's their hormones.

If you aren't well suited, stop trying to push a square peg into a round hole. Getting frustrated and calling her names.

This bpd thing is all over the place, and it's the innergame of dogsh1t.

I don't know if she has BPD or not but I don't care.

She sees things which are not there and hears some voices telling her how bad I am. It may or may not be BPD but it's not normal in my book.

And it's definitely not hormones trust me. I had her hospitalized in a psych ward twice in the past.

 

[dude99]

She sees things which are not there and hears some voices telling her how bad I am.

Just plain nuts.

 

[Billtx49]

It may or may not be BPD but it's not normal in my book.
I had her hospitalized in a psych ward twice in the past.

Whatever she has, she’s in need of some serious professional help. We may not be capable personally of an accurate diagnosis, and we can call it whatever we want to help us deal with her issue, but we can damn sure eventually spot crazy after it enters our lives…

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Sorry dude but people who are truly void of empathy can't fix it to suddenly have something they never had. A true cluster b isn't fixable. If they claimed to be fixed or better it is only part of their rouse they are pulling. This is repeated over and over by scores of psychologist.

A self centered person can be fixed.
A selfish person can be fixed.
An azzhole can be fixed
A mean tempered person can be fixed.

If a poor quality person works at it and gets better then they were just a poor quality person and not a full cluster b

A person without empathy can not suddenly develop empath.

I have. Empathy is a LEARNED emotion. Look it up. Some people lack it because as children they were wired differently and interpret social situations (that required empathy) differently. There’s also those who can unlearn it too, or switch it off at will. Selfish/self-centered people lack the capacity to empathize with others oftentimes. They fix this by learning how to.

Extreme emotions like rage, ecstasy, loathing, despair, etc. are not learned, along with it’s simpler counterparts (happy, sad, angry, dislike, etc.) are not learned. They are inherent. However, these too, can be ‘unlearned’, so to speak. It’s not that you unlearn them, they are just dulled out to a great extent. Some call this a form of depression because it’s so desolate, but that’s just emotions rather than your whole way of life.

 

[dude99]

I have. Empathy is a LEARNED emotion. Look it up. Some people lack it because as children they were wired differently and interpret social situations (that required empathy) differently. There’s also those who can unlearn it too, or switch it off at will. Selfish/self-centered people lack the capacity to empathize with others oftentimes. They fix this by learning how to.

Extreme emotions like rage, ecstasy, loathing, despair, etc. are not learned, along with it’s simpler counterparts (happy, sad, angry, dislike, etc.) are not learned. They are inherent. However, these too, can be ‘unlearned’, so to speak. It’s not that you unlearn them, they are just dulled out to a great extent. Some call this a form of depression because it’s so desolate, but that’s just emotions rather than your whole way of life.

I believe you have. And that is great. You werent and those you knew weren't full blown cluster b's if you learnt how. You had th ability in you.

Yes it can be learnt behaviour. To those who are capable.

Ted Bundy had no empathy.
Paul Bernardo has no empathy.
Karla Homolka has no empathy.
Etc. Etc.

A true cluster b isn't capable. That is the underlined difference.

 

[exhausted]

I believe you have. And that is great. You werent and those you knew weren't full blown cluster b's if you learnt how. You had th ability in you.

Yes it can be learnt behaviour. To those who are capable.

Ted Bundy had no empathy.
Paul Bernardo has no empathy.
Karla Homolka has no empathy.
Etc. Etc.

A true cluster b isn't capable. That is the underlined difference.

It's a spectrum. Those fully without empathy have no chance.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I believe you have. And that is great. You werent and those you knew weren't full blown cluster b's if you learnt how. You had th ability in you.

Yes it can be learnt behaviour. To those who are capable.

Ted Bundy had no empathy.
Paul Bernardo has no empathy.
Karla Homolka has no empathy.
Etc. Etc.

A true cluster b isn't capable. That is the underlined difference.

Only psychopaths (men born with APD) and women born with BPD are unable to have empathy. Narcissist and those with HPD can. Men who develop APD (which are called sociopaths btw) and women who develop BPD (meaning they weren’t born with it) can still learn/relearn how to empathize with others. People born with HPD and NPD can still empathize with others too though.

 

[dude99]

Only psychopaths (men born with APD) and women born with BPD are unable to have empathy. Narcissist and those with HPD can. Men who develop APD (which are called sociopaths btw) and women who develop BPD (meaning they weren’t born with it) can still learn/relearn how to empathize with others. People born with HPD and NPD can still empathize with others too though.

I am familiar with sociopathy, narcissism,
histrionic, BPD, NPD, Bi-polar, etc etc, I know what they are; i was just lumping it all together into its all encompassing category and refering to them as cluster b's
If you have managed to "fix" some in your time then that is wonderful. In my experience with friends and family dealing with any of the disorders they arent fixable. They can medicate and treat the disorders but the disorders themselves never 100% go away. You are best to just cut them from your life. But if you have managed to fix some in your time that is great news. I hope more people, doctors, and psychologst and psychiatrists learn how too.

1 cluster b in the world is 1 too many.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I am familiar with sociopathy, narcissism,
histrionic, BPD, NPD, Bi-polar, etc etc, I know what they are; i was just lumping it all together into its all encompassing category and refering to them as cluster b's
If you have managed to "fix" some in your time then that is wonderful. In my experience with friends and family dealing with any of the disorders they arent fixable. They can medicate and treat the disorders but the disorders themselves never 100% go away. You are best to just cut them from your life. But if you have managed to fix some in your time that is great news. I hope more people, doctors, and psychologst and psychiatrists learn how too.

1 cluster b in the world is 1 too many.

It's mostly just from the person. You have to want to change, and not like some standard wanting but not really doing anything about it. Or maybe changing for a couple days or minutes but then reverting. You need discipline, and more than that, you need DRIVE.

 

[dude99]

It's mostly just from the person. You have to want to change, and not like some standard wanting but not really doing anything about it. Or maybe changing for a couple days or minutes but then reverting. You need discipline, and more than that, you need DRIVE.

That i do agree with. In order for a person to change they have to first admit that they have a problem. Then they have to want to change.