Hi guys. It has been a while since I posted, but I read here almost everyday. I have a bit of a long story. It's not really a question or a tip, just some stuff that most of us have been through. If you have any similar tales, please post them.
I posted about my breakup back in January. I ended a four year relationship because she started to branch swing. Then I screwed up. I knew the right and wrong thing to do. I read extensively about it here. I did searches and read all the old posts of poor saps that went through the same thing I did. Each and every account was eerily similar in nature. But I couldn't learn from the mistakes of others, I guess. When she called me crying a week after our breakup, I agreed to meet her. I went against my better judgment, against my reason and logic. I went against every piece of friggin advice on this site. A major reason why I took her back was because I was aware of my own flaws. I screwed up a lot in our relationship and she stuck with me until things were beyond repair. In a weird way, I felt I owed it to myself to legitimately try to make things work out. I wanted a clear conscience.
Things were very good for six months. Then, you guessed it, distance and strange behavior. Oh, I knew the signs this time. I tried my best. My conscience was clear. Whatever the problem was, it wasn't coming from me. I sat her down and we had it out. I wasn't angry or anything. I calmly got to the bottom of things. I found out she had a crush on someone from her work. I was suspicious earlier, but she actually admitted it. A rare bout of honesty from a female. Then she said she wasn't sure about taking things farther and she needed to think. I gave her all the time in the world to think. I'm not a complete chump. I learn from my own mistakes eventually. I absolutely dumped her. I wasn't really angry, though. I hugged her and told her goodbye. I'd rather look forward to the future than be bitter about the past.
That was last month. I obviously never contacted her in any way. A week ago I got a text: "Hi." I'm not going to be bitter or ignorant. I respond, "Hi." Then she asked how I've been. I told her "very good." A few days later I get an email. "I miss you, but I think we did the right thing." She mentioned that we should try to get together over the summer "to see a movie or something." There was more but it was small talk. I was amazed because I kind of expected all of this. This site taught me the bullsh!t women pull. She was trying to get back into my life! I sat there shaking my head thinking: "Son of a *****. I guess the branch she was swinging to broke." I wrote something like, "We did the right thing. Imagine how much worse things would have been if we got married or had kids. It's fortunate we found out before that. We'll see each other sometime over the summer."
Now it gets better.
Today, my 28th birthday, I get a text: "happy birthday. I miss u"
Me: "Thank u"
Her: "Your welcome. Do u ever think we made a mistake & we should've tried harder?"
Me: "I tried, but it's how fate wanted things to be. It's how it was meant to be"
Her:"I'm not so sure"
Me:"It's how it has to be"
It was left at that. I'm insulted that she thinks she can just come back to me. I'm not going to be one of those guys.
When we broke up the second time I took it harder than the first, for some strange reason. It only lasted a few days, though. I went to some clubs with a couple of buddies that next weekend and had a great time. I even had two women approach me and others making eye contact. I'm so out of practice, though, it's pathetic. But I'm having fun. I really love going out and meeting women. I'm lucky in the physical department, but I never knew how to take advantage of it when I was younger. Now, gentlemen, I'm going to live life. Next weekend we're going to the clubs again. I'm feeling better and more comfortable. The old senses are coming back. I've been reading the archives and bible again. The same things I read five years ago and it still blows my mind. I'm not going to fukk up by getting into a LTR this time, though. I'm going to live.
I know she's going to contact me again. She'll probably be more direct this time. She'll come on a little stronger. For a brief instant I thought I could try for a fukk buddy, but I really don't want to go that route. I'd rather cleanly cut emotional ties. I guess I'm going to have to man up and say, "there is no way in hell." It took two times, but I learned from that god damned mistake.
I posted about my breakup back in January. I ended a four year relationship because she started to branch swing. Then I screwed up. I knew the right and wrong thing to do. I read extensively about it here. I did searches and read all the old posts of poor saps that went through the same thing I did. Each and every account was eerily similar in nature. But I couldn't learn from the mistakes of others, I guess. When she called me crying a week after our breakup, I agreed to meet her. I went against my better judgment, against my reason and logic. I went against every piece of friggin advice on this site. A major reason why I took her back was because I was aware of my own flaws. I screwed up a lot in our relationship and she stuck with me until things were beyond repair. In a weird way, I felt I owed it to myself to legitimately try to make things work out. I wanted a clear conscience.
Things were very good for six months. Then, you guessed it, distance and strange behavior. Oh, I knew the signs this time. I tried my best. My conscience was clear. Whatever the problem was, it wasn't coming from me. I sat her down and we had it out. I wasn't angry or anything. I calmly got to the bottom of things. I found out she had a crush on someone from her work. I was suspicious earlier, but she actually admitted it. A rare bout of honesty from a female. Then she said she wasn't sure about taking things farther and she needed to think. I gave her all the time in the world to think. I'm not a complete chump. I learn from my own mistakes eventually. I absolutely dumped her. I wasn't really angry, though. I hugged her and told her goodbye. I'd rather look forward to the future than be bitter about the past.
That was last month. I obviously never contacted her in any way. A week ago I got a text: "Hi." I'm not going to be bitter or ignorant. I respond, "Hi." Then she asked how I've been. I told her "very good." A few days later I get an email. "I miss you, but I think we did the right thing." She mentioned that we should try to get together over the summer "to see a movie or something." There was more but it was small talk. I was amazed because I kind of expected all of this. This site taught me the bullsh!t women pull. She was trying to get back into my life! I sat there shaking my head thinking: "Son of a *****. I guess the branch she was swinging to broke." I wrote something like, "We did the right thing. Imagine how much worse things would have been if we got married or had kids. It's fortunate we found out before that. We'll see each other sometime over the summer."
Now it gets better.
Today, my 28th birthday, I get a text: "happy birthday. I miss u"
Me: "Thank u"
Her: "Your welcome. Do u ever think we made a mistake & we should've tried harder?"
Me: "I tried, but it's how fate wanted things to be. It's how it was meant to be"
Her:"I'm not so sure"
Me:"It's how it has to be"
It was left at that. I'm insulted that she thinks she can just come back to me. I'm not going to be one of those guys.
When we broke up the second time I took it harder than the first, for some strange reason. It only lasted a few days, though. I went to some clubs with a couple of buddies that next weekend and had a great time. I even had two women approach me and others making eye contact. I'm so out of practice, though, it's pathetic. But I'm having fun. I really love going out and meeting women. I'm lucky in the physical department, but I never knew how to take advantage of it when I was younger. Now, gentlemen, I'm going to live life. Next weekend we're going to the clubs again. I'm feeling better and more comfortable. The old senses are coming back. I've been reading the archives and bible again. The same things I read five years ago and it still blows my mind. I'm not going to fukk up by getting into a LTR this time, though. I'm going to live.
I know she's going to contact me again. She'll probably be more direct this time. She'll come on a little stronger. For a brief instant I thought I could try for a fukk buddy, but I really don't want to go that route. I'd rather cleanly cut emotional ties. I guess I'm going to have to man up and say, "there is no way in hell." It took two times, but I learned from that god damned mistake.
