Ex texts me out of the blue.

[harkkam08]

Its been 5 months since we broke up and 4 months of NC and then out of nowhere I get this text. I did ask my friends who know her to ask about me around month three but its been two months since even that and I get this.

"hey its (name). Ya im texting u. I just wanted to say that in our relationship, I let you use me. I hid my inner most feelings and insecurities because I guess i was never fully comfortable with you. But thats all over and done with. I still need to get over the fact that I let you use me and my body I was never ready (I thought I was but I did it mostly because I just didnt want to lose you.) Our relationship brought me alot of pain and it will be a long while till I begin to appreciate the things I've gained. Im texting you this to let you know. I dont want to go back. I hope you learn not blame others for your problems and hurt feelings. Lots of luck!"

At first I was like "lol what the hell I havent spoken to you in 4 months and the last time we did you hung the phone up on me"

I know through friends that she has dated other guys as well made out with them etc who knows.

I just dont understand why she would text me out of the blue like this.

and NO I didnt send her anything in response. I dont need to, and plus I dont know what to say or if there is anything even left to be said.

However I just would like to know what she is REALLY saying with her words. Maybe you guys could read between the lines.

Oh yeah about the whole body thing, she claimed to be a virgin when I met her. However I doubt that.

Thanks

 

[Radharc]

Its been 5 months since we broke up and 4 months of NC and then out of nowhere I get this text. I did ask my friends who know her to ask about me around month three but its been two months since even that and I get this.

"hey its (name). Ya im texting u. I just wanted to say that in our relationship, I let you use me. I hid my inner most feelings and insecurities because I guess i was never fully comfortable with you. But thats all over and done with. I still need to get over the fact that I let you use me and my body I was never ready (I thought I was but I did it mostly because I just didnt want to lose you.) Our relationship brought me alot of pain and it will be a long while till I begin to appreciate the things I've gained. Im texting you this to let you know. I dont want to go back. I hope you learn not blame others for your problems and hurt feelings. Lots of luck!"

At first I was like "lol what the hell I havent spoken to you in 4 months and the last time we did you hung the phone up on me"

I know through friends that she has dated other guys as well made out with them etc who knows.

I just dont understand why she would text me out of the blue like this.

and NO I didnt send her anything in response. I dont need to, and plus I dont know what to say or if there is anything even left to be said.

However I just would like to know what she is REALLY saying with her words. Maybe you guys could read between the lines.

Oh yeah about the whole body thing, she claimed to be a virgin when I met her. However I doubt that.

Thanks

Lol, she contradicts herself so much its even funny. Whatever happened to practicing what you preach? Maybe she meant to say "I hope I will learn not to blame others"?

She probably just trying to send you on a guilt trip because she´s pissed you went NC and moved on, denying her the ego inflation she felt she was entitled to, by keeping you reeled in. Its a pathetic attempt at doing that.

 

[Tiguere]

delete text..keep movin forward.

 

[maqnetik]

delete text..keep movin forward.

exactly

shes playing with her own head and trying to play with yours

 

[harkkam08]

^ Really would girls do that?

I know it may sound naive but who sends a text to try to get a rise out of somebody. I mean the second I ever did that to somebody I would feel like a loser that I need a person I rejected to make me feel better.

So I dont see how it makes sense. Maybe its un-conscience?

But anyway yeah she was weird and I dont know whats wrong with her. I mean I dont think I used her, I tired my best to be there for her when she needed me.

I know I got mad at her and we got into stupid arguments but at the end of the day I loved her very much and would have been there for her in her hour of need. I might have gotten upset at her over something stupid but if she got hurt or sprained an ankle I would immediately would stop being upset and carry her or get some ice. Thats just the way I loved her as well.

I regret starting fights with her but I dont see how I used her. In fact I had a car and she didnt and I drove 45 miles to see her. I paid for things most of the time because she was really poor, didnt even have money for a winter jacket. I taught her how to be intimate and close to a person showed her about sex, about love, and all other things.

She has a right to be mad about me starting pointless fights which eventually just made the love fade away, but I never intentionally used her for any personal gain or anything of that sort. Thats why I am so puzzled that for somebody that I did so much for USED is the wrong word, disappointed sure, but used?

 

[new_hotness]

She's thinking of you. She wants to see you again even though she's mad at you.

Translation: she's horny.

Its been 5 months since we broke up and 4 months of NC and then out of nowhere I get this text. I did ask my friends who know her to ask about me around month three but its been two months since even that and I get this.

"hey its (name). Ya im texting u. I just wanted to say that in our relationship, I let you use me. I hid my inner most feelings and insecurities because I guess i was never fully comfortable with you. But thats all over and done with. I still need to get over the fact that I let you use me and my body I was never ready (I thought I was but I did it mostly because I just didnt want to lose you.) Our relationship brought me alot of pain and it will be a long while till I begin to appreciate the things I've gained. Im texting you this to let you know. I dont want to go back. I hope you learn not blame others for your problems and hurt feelings. Lots of luck!"

At first I was like "lol what the hell I havent spoken to you in 4 months and the last time we did you hung the phone up on me"

I know through friends that she has dated other guys as well made out with them etc who knows.

I just dont understand why she would text me out of the blue like this.

and NO I didnt send her anything in response. I dont need to, and plus I dont know what to say or if there is anything even left to be said.

However I just would like to know what she is REALLY saying with her words. Maybe you guys could read between the lines.

Oh yeah about the whole body thing, she claimed to be a virgin when I met her. However I doubt that.

Thanks

 

[Korrupt]

Either ignore it or text back "f*ck off."

Not kidding.

 

[Masculinity]

Hey Karkkam08, other views may conflict, but what I see is the following: She misses you and playing "fake mad" is the only way to contact you she has in her power, because she's too proud to admit she hasn't gotten over you, and she's upset that you moved on and aren't cracking under pressure. Move on and simply ignore her, if one day for one or other reason you're in NC, make sure you're subtly convey the message that you're around and you when you though things had gotten weird, they may get ever more strange. If she's still interested in you and you two had sexual contact in the past you'll find yourself having sex with her; on the other hand if she HAS moved on then you'l get no reply or a mean, cold one.

Keep up your game!

 

[harkkam08]

Yeah I will ignore it. If I respond it just makes her think I am still pining for her in the wings.

A part of me did want to send back a nasty text and then a part of me just said no, I dont need to send negative energy back into the world it just hurts me inside and better to leave things alone.

Honestly though I a small part of me still loves her memories of her make me smile and feel a bit sad inside, but she has behaved in ways that make having a relationship difficult, rather shown me traits that would mean any relationship would be built on a weak foundation which is what I'm sure she was thinking about me when she broke up with me. Guy who started too many stupid insecure fights = unhappy relationship, fair is fair and she did what she had to do.

Except now I am more calm and collected to see that she wasn't the perfect person I had imagined her to be, she was a great gal but certain things about her, like her inability to focus on my positive traits and only see the negative wil mean that in the future any fight or argument will result in a breakup because all thats worth fighting for in her mind is easily glossed over and forgotten.

I hope that I am able to build myself back up and get out there and spin plates.

 

[f283000]

^ Really would girls do that?

I know it may sound naive but who sends a text to try to get a rise out of somebody. I mean the second I ever did that to somebody I would feel like a loser that I need a person I rejected to make me feel better.

So I dont see how it makes sense. Maybe its un-conscience?

You don't know females very well do you? Do a search on this forum about an ex contacting you again and see that this is very common. Mind games is a woman's specialty.

NOTHING IRKS A WOMAN MORE THAN SEEING HER FORMER MAN BEING HAPPIER WITHOUT HER OR KEEPING NO CONTACT WITH HER!

This is why NC works so well against women. They love the ego boost of knowing you still want them. They love the ego boost of knowing you are not happy. They love the ego boost of knowing they could still have you if they wanted. They love the ego boost of you still talking to them giving them attention and you being their emotional tampon/girlfriend.

The problem is that most guys can't keep NC with an ex or any woman that did them wrong even if their life depended on it. Guys fall for a woman's mind game very easily.

 

[EA Gold]

The best thing you can do right now is to let go of the past, by letting go of any regret.

The real truth to yourself is... You have no regrets. Whatever happened happened. You can't change it anymore. Whats real is now, focus on whats happening right now and be happy.

There's no need to let the past affect you anymore.

 

[MyTeamSupreme]

^ Really would girls do that?

I know it may sound naive but who sends a text to try to get a rise out of somebody.

Are you 13?

 

[harkkam08]

Whats surprising is that through a mutual friend I just found out today, he told me that she has been dating this guy for two and a half months now. Weird that she would msg me.

ALso where she says "Our relationship brought me alot of pain....and it will be a long while till I being to appreciate what I've gained"

Her gain being her new bf. Me being the person she is happy to get rid of.

It hurts a bit to hear such words of dislike from a person you once cared for, how their attitude and opinion toward you can change from once being in love with you to wanting to stay a thousand miles away. The spectrum of human emotions is very large.

The only problem is that she Doesnt want me and I cant have her. Even though I tell myself that Im moving on that I dont want her, the truth is that I really do want her, and I know I cant have her because of the animosity she has for me so I dont even try.

Its been five months and I can't seem to get rid of that want I have of her. I think that the only way it will go away is if I fall in love with another woman at one point that makes me forget.

Whats funny is that this mutual friend also told me about a month and half ago when my ex and this new guy were dating for about three weeks, she said "I dont know I know I am supposed to be (guy who she is dating now) and I am afraid that if I go see (another guy friend she knows) that I will try something"

She didnt end up hanging out with him at all.

 

[horaholic]

It is possible that she just wanted to get something off her chest, and nothing more.

 

[harkkam08]

Yeah that's what I think it was, she feels wronged by me and she feels like the only way to get past is to confront her demons and let them out.

She just wanted to get something off her chest and that's it

 

[f283000]

Yeah that's what I think it was, she feels wronged by me and she feels like the only way to get past is to confront her demons and let them out.

She just wanted to get something off her chest and that's it

If you believe that guess what I have a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn for $5 want to buy it?

Get a couple more years of experience with women and you'll come to understand the games they play and how they are full of bull****.

You yourself said you heard through friends that she's been playing the field so obviously she wasn't lovesick about you for 4 months or whatever you guys been apart.

She didn't message you to get something off her chest. She messaged you to dig out information about you! Contact from women after NC is a trap to dig out info about you and get what they want (whether it be playing with your emotions/mind games/making you miss her/making you feel guilty etc).

First come the contact from them after NC. After you fall for the trap comes conversations, then comes her getting you to open up, then comes her playing with your emotions etc etc. This is classic woman tactics.

 

[jophil28]

She didn't message you to get something off her chest. She messaged you to dig out information about you! Contact from women after NC is a trap to dig out info about you and get what they want (whether it be playing with your emotions/mind games/making you miss her/making you feel guilty etc).

First come the contact from them after NC. After you fall for the trap comes conversations, then comes her getting you to open up, then comes her playing with your emotions etc etc. This is classic woman tactics.

^^THis is the most likely explanation . And to take it a bit further - she is also possibly setting you up to be slowly drawn in to a few dates again (using the golden pvssy as bait) .
Then one day out of the blue, when you are feeling like your "second chance " is going to work out nicely, she will call you and tell you that she wants to be "just friends" .

This woman is leaking righteous indignation. And women who feel aggrieved for any reason ( real or imagined) are usually seeking revenge.

IT is NOT in you best interests to ever say one word to her ever again.

 

[CuriousGirl]

Personally I think she's venting unsaid feelings so she can move on. A lot of girls have done this, I have before, my friends have. She's getting over you, she felt there were unresolved feelings or matters, and in her example she felt used by you and she just wants you to know that, maybe it annoyed her that you didn't realise or whatever. She's just closing the chapter. A lot of the time I think for girls 'resolving' things isn't necessarily 'solving' them, it's talking about them, getting it off their chest and out in the open so it can blow away into the past. The way she said "lots of luck" is hinting at not ever seeing you again.

 

[harkkam08]

Well It doesnt really matter, because she cant have me, either way. Im not going to contact her. But its so damn unfair that she paints this picture of me when I loved and cared for her, how ungrateful and forgetful women can be.

I wish I could get back at her for throwing me out like I was trash, I know she is just exaggerating the "pain" that I caused her.

 

[f283000]

Then one day out of the blue, when you are feeling like your "second chance " is going to work out nicely, she will call you and tell you that she wants to be "just friends" .

Forgot to mention this one which is one of the classic tactics women use.

This is one of the ultimate acts of revenge for a woman. When you allow them into your life again, they make you feel things for them again, and then they twist a knife into your heart by giving you the friend card. Nothing satisfies them more than getting you to want them again only for them to spit at your face by turning you down cold.

Well It doesnt really matter, because she cant have me, either way. Im not going to contact her. But its so damn unfair that she paints this picture of me when I loved and cared for her, how ungrateful and forgetful women can be.

Actually she is very smart. She knew exactly what to say to get emotion out of you and most guys would fall for the trap and reply but you didn't.

Her plan worked halfway. She was able to mess with your mind and confuse you which is why you're posting here. The other half was you replying to her thus allowing her to get back into contact with you in order to further whatever plans she had.