Ex is confused?

[guitaronfire411]

Sadly, I stopped listening and was setting myself up for a massive burn.

I took her back, thinking everything was going to be smooth now that she had learned a lesson and admitted as much many, many times!

She was super nice for the first month or two. Lots of sex and BJs around mid-July or August. I don't remember exactly. After our break-up, she had slept with her then-boss and an old guy friend and said that it was horrible and she felt so bad for the way that she treated me. She seemed so hurt and sincere that I was seriously fooled!

So my fault. Fast forward to the last few months and she is complaining that I leave a mess at her place, that I'm very negative (particularly in the last month even though I have been doing 10 hour days at work and barely speak), that I drink too much to my father (when she approved of it at the time and when in reality the alcohol was bought within the span of a month, not on one occasion, etc.), etc.

Once she found two friends in her class around late October or November, she has been acting strangely. I don't think she was cheating on me but instead of being engaged as before, she wanted to only be boyfriend and girlfriend. I should have paid heed to that foreshadowing but I was too happy that we were back on track and talking about moving in together again in the near future.

Anyways, once she found her two presumably-unhappy single friends for nights-out, she would disappear and play pool with them. Apparently my concern for her becoming unresponsive between 5pm and 11pm is annoying, even though I had only sent maybe 4 texts in that time!

I stopped wearing my ring but she never complained about it. However, she was toning down the sex and we hadn;t really kissed or hugged for a long time. Despite her talk about losing weight, selling things to pay rent, being two months behind on hydro, she suddenly gets the idea that she could do better than me.

So she asks to be alone, if I could get the rest of my stuff on my /only/ day off, etc. Previously she had asked me to take care of her cat for 10 days because she was going home for Christmas.

I told her honestly that I made some mistakes and we could work on them but it's probably a little too late. I don't think she'll find anyone that will want to date her because she went from a personal 8.5 to a 6.5 or 6 fatty with a nice face. Now she is looking on PoF for "friends" because she only has two from school and that she has blocked me for my comments that apparently have stressed her out.

I still need to return her key to the apartment but she wants someone else to return it. Any ideas?

 

[Big Nuts]

You have tremendous issues with women. You are 30 and should be massacring vaginas. There are 3.5 BILLION women in the world, your obsession with this woman is a sign of mental weakness. You are a serious beta male who needs to improve himself while moving on.

One day you will discover that all the oneitis you have displayed for this chick was a joke and a complete waste of time...you will kick yourself for being so blind to this foolishness. The one saving grace is you will be able to pass on solutions to your mistakes, hopefully, to a willing beta chump who will actually listen and slay p00n with amused mastery.

 

[disgustipated]

Reread brads post. This time actually do it.

This time of year is a goldmine to look for single female poon. They are very lonely this time of year, and very open to going out, hooking up even if its just to not be alone. Capatalize. It will feel odd because its not HER, but its a good confidence builder and who knows....you might stumble upon a decent one. Any girl in your presence that mentions anything remotely like her being single is begging to be asked out by someone.

If you're looking to just get over her....what I'm doing now(in.same boat)... I'm visualizeing where ill be in a few years time physically, financially, socially versus where I think she's headed. I'm the winner in all scenarios I can play out in my mind. And with that said, I engage in those activities that will get me there. Working out( tons of goals to.strive for here), planning and sticking to a budget, saving money( she won't), hooking up my pad, getting better in my job/advancing, take more risks socially and build a wider network of friends and always make time for them...that means if your buddy wants company to.go shopping cuz he values your opinion I go versus spending time with some chick I'm.not really invested in. Reading. Here or books. Expanding your knowledge base. Pick a weakness, try to make it a strength. Man, there is so much you can do to occupy your time.

And you are allowed to think and miss your ex. It's human. But if you are o.ly.thinking bout the stuff you miss that's not healthy. You must must must think about all the bad stuff. And if she broke up with you, and you cannot think of anything bad persay...the simple fact she doesn't want.to be with you should suffice. It's not human healthy nature to want to be with someone that does not.receiprocate like feelings. Don't hate yourself that much.

I don't advise deleting numbers. I used to.do this. One girl I had completely deleted and so thoroughly forgotten her that when she called back months later I answered not recognizing the number. Soon as I.heard her voice I.let out.a ****. Plus if they call or.text and you still have the name attached to the number and you STILL ignore it...its does that much more for my confidence in my willpower not to give in.

 

[guitaronfire411]

As I said, I realized that I had fallen hard. *****ing at me will just get you ignored poster #1!

What happened was I was too busy to make time for myself. In the past, I would work on myself and my confidence but ever since I lost my job that seemed to be going well in September, I busted my ass to get a replacement. They scheduled me at my new current job for 10 hour shifts so I just did not have the time to see my ex or spend time with her. When I did, she was critical and nothing like the girl I had first met or spent two fun years with. She was apathetic probably due to her Bipolar II/SAD kicking in. Instead of being easy-going, she refused to go see movies with me because she simply could not afford it.

I am getting back into the gym. Now that Christmas is over, I plan on going as often as I can with my significantly freed-up time. I have made a few new friends and I'm not missing having her around as much as I did back in May. But there still feels like there is something missing so I am trying to get back out there.

 

[Casanova99]

"The gym is great until I get home and then suddenly I feel lonely when my endorphins start to disappear. Any solutions?"

Nothing wrong with lonely. The best thing I know is to lie down on the bed, close my eyes and relax into my inner dark sky and just let the mind and the body feel the feelings that are there and just keep on relaxing and letting the feelings pass through the body and complete themselves. It may take an hour or two, just relax and feel the feelings fully and it will complete itself. Simple and working. Next time you feel lonely you may notice that the feelings are not so strong and you have more confidence and courage this time since you faced your feeling the first time. It so much more effective than alcohol and drugs (legal or illegal) and much better than suicide,

And how do you know that this was not the best thing that could have happened to you? Do you really want to merry a woman gone bananas? You should thank your lucky star and thank God for looking after your best interest. Good luck, I am sure you will be completely healed much faster than you think, try the method above until your lonely feelings are gone.

(Sorry for my not so perfect english. I am from Sweden so english is my second language)