Ex-Girlfriend's Dad just suddenly passed away.

[casthenova]

I sent flowers to her family out of respect for her dad and it did wonders for my conscience. Now I feel like the absolute best thing I can do is let her go and heal on her own. I am not going to put her through any more crap then she already is going through and I am not going to act on selfish motivation to try and force myself into a support role.

I feel like I did the right thing and that is what I wanted.

Thanks again for the input, it really did help.

 

[f283000]

My old oneitis called me TWICE after I said never to call me again, once her boyfriend tried to kill himself (Again.. i actually posted about this a while back on this forum) and the other one she was having daddy issues. use your imagination. ******* or not, that woman is a ****ing black plague and she got off on, regardless of the situation, knowing i wanted to **** her but not ****ing me, but yet making me help her deal with all her bull**** in her life at the same time. at some point you gotta move on regardless of the bullets that are flying by your head.

And that's really the reason why they contact you most of the time. It's not because they care about you, still love you or want to f*** you, it's because they want to suck the energy out of you.

They see you moved on, they see you doing well without them while they are stuck in a low level existence. So what do they do? They try to get you down to their level. Women can't stand seeing you doing better without them. It makes their blood boil.

They got plenty of girlfriends to talk to if they need emotional support. So if you allow yourself to get sucked into that trap you are allowing yourself to become another one of her girlfriends.

THERE IS NOTHING IN IT FOR YOU!! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD PEOPLE!

If they contact you again it has nothing to do to bring something positive into your life. It's all about what they need. Whether it be attention, knowing they "still got it" by finding out if you still want them, messing with your mind, your feelings whatever.

 

[casthenova]

Guys,

She played me again. I let her back in a few months after her dad died and we tried to date again. She used me, lied to me, manipulated me, told me she wanted to marry me but only while I was away. I would come home to visit her and she would blow me off completely. It ended with me saying if she came to my house again she would trespassing.


Damn, why didn't I listen?

You guys would have saved me a WORLD of pain.

 

[Cheeks]

Guys,

She played me again. I let her back in a few months after her dad died and we tried to date again. She used me, lied to me, manipulated me, told me she wanted to marry me but only while I was away. I would come home to visit her and she would blow me off completely. It ended with me saying if she came to my house again she would trespassing.


Damn, why didn't I listen?

You guys would have saved me a WORLD of pain.

Now you know what women really are. I just learned this the hard way myself.

Try to be grateful for every beating you take. Get all the trust beaten out of you.

 

[dereklovesugly]

I've got to be honest. I agree with sir psycho.

You're over analyzing this. You're also taking advice from men on a site of how to get women, so take everything we say with a grain of salt. Do what YOU feel is right. If you want to pay respect to the man cuz you felt close with him and he was cordial to you, then do it, but on YOUR terms. If you're going to see him and to see her, then I advise you to take a second to re-evaluate if you should go. To me, especially with her just hanging up on you, it seems like she is just looking for your attention. She will ultimately use you to make her feel better and end up sucking the happiness right out of you.

 

[AAAgent]

It seems like you think that everyone's input in telling you to stay away from contacting her and this situation will make you a bad guy. The rest of us here are looking at your situation from an unbiased perspective as we are not attached to the situation. Although ultimately you will make the decision you should try to sit back and reflect on situations before you make a decision after you've calmed down your emotions which, clearly in this situation you haven't.

Sure ignoring your ex that you've only broken up with 2 weeks after her father died is a bit harsh but what good will come of it if you do console her. You think she will magically change and come back into your arms and you'll live happily ever after? Most likely she will appreciate your company for a few days and you'll be back to the same things that had you break-up in the first place. Now not only will she still feel horrible like another break-up just happened but her father is still dead. You will be no better. Both of you worse off than you would have been if you left it alone.

Now if you leave her alone you will feel like a heartless person and apparently you can't live it down. You don't have to completely ignore her.

Detach yourself from the situation, if you care about her and yourself you understand it's best you guys stay apart. Send her flowers and a card to her or her family that reminds her of happy times.

dozen white flowers and a card that says "Thank you HBx and mrs. xxx for having me over for all those wonderful dinners where I was able to enjoy the witty and hilarious company of Mr. XX. He was a great man and will be remembered as such."

Leave it at that. Show that you do care but are no longer in a situation that can warrant anything more a card and gift. If you do, you're not showing her or yourself the respect.

All in all, if you dwelve back into this, your only setting yourself up to be let down. Learn to control your emotions.

I would have probably just picked up a call once i found out about the death. Gave my condolences. Sent a card to the family with flowers and attended the funeral.

---------

similiar to backbreaker, my oneitis called me back saying she thought she was pregnant, mom had cancer, she was going to commit suicide, etc. Every single time i went back to her only to have the crazy cycle repeat itself. Not everyone here is telling you to be an *******, we're just trying to teach you to learn how to control your emotions and protect yourself.

You can always exit like a respectful gentleman.