Ex Girlfriend

[Industry]

My ex and I have been hanging out again recently and she's showed signs that she wants to work things out with me. She is actually making an effort (asking me to do things) and says she wants to work it out.

She has been dating the guy she left me for and has told me numerous times that she would leave him in a heartbeat if she knew we would work out again. She said that she needs to trust us before she can leave him. I have been pretty supportive of this (she has a few reasons not to trust me) but I have also done a lot since then to regain her trust.

If she isn't happy with this guy than why won't she just leave him and come back to me? I'm obviously the better catch or 1) she wouldnt be hanging out with me 2) she wouldnt be saying she'd leave him.

Should I trust her or is she just stringing me along so she'll have someone when her current relationship doesnt work out?

 

[Centaurion]

*cyber slaps Industry*

SHE left YOU, and she wants to see if SHE CAN TRUST YOU!!!??????? This is wrong on so many levels that I won't go into it.

But really, there is a reason she is your ex. If she left you once, why do you think she won't do it again? Let sleeping dogs lie and move on.

 

[darth yoda]

is she just stringing me along so she'll have someone when her current relationship doesnt work out?

Bingo, if you weren't good enough then, or good enough now, how long will she make you jump through hoops?

 

[Duamutef]

Originally posted by Industry
She has been dating the guy she left me for and has told me numerous times that she would leave him in a heartbeat if she knew we would work out again.

I cannot help feeling sorry for her current boyfriend... he suspects nothing, and maybe is even losing time in loving her. People are so cruel sometimes...

 

[Industry]

i dont know guys... i told her that she had no reason NOT to trust me. im a lot better person now... and i also said that i have reasons not to trust her but that i was willing to forgive and forget if we started over.

i'd take her back but i wont be strung along. if she shows an effort to make things work than I will go with it.. but if I'm the only one making an effort, making plans and calling... than I will drop her.. cut my losses and move on.

 

[PRMoon]

she's an ex for a reason, and there are plenty of other girls out there. How bout you not be lazy, go out and do some foot work? Going back to an ex is the easy way out especially since deep down you know it'll only last for a few months at maximum.

 

[MightyMate]

**** the ex. DOnt be lame. Simply use her and then dump.

 

[xblitz44x]

What were the details of your relationship with her? How did it end? What "reasons" were there for her not to trust you? What was her explaination when she left you?

From what I've read so far, I agree with
Centaurion. How the hell does she get off saying that she'll give *you* another shot if she can find a way to trust YOU when she is the one who bailed on it last time? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

As far as your question about why doesn't she just leave the other dude... a lot of girls just hate the thought of being alone. They would rather have *somebody* there, regarldess of whether they have strong feelings for him, until somebody better comes along. Hint: Read that again and see how it applies to your situation in both ways.

Unless the answers to my above questions are something out of the ordinary, I'd say to move on and don't waste your time. It sounds like she is extremely unstable and not sure what she wants. My bet is that she is young and/or has serious issues. You would be better off moving on to the next phase of your life and spending it with somebody who isn't so desperate for affection.

-Blitz

 

[SparkleMotion]

Don't deal with her. Sounds like she's playing mind games.

 

[flexion_]

This may sound simple but she is an EX for a reason... you both are wasting your time.

 

[Whyldchyld]

Honestly just move on and forget her, it sounds like you'll still run through hoops for her which will lead to more disappointment in the future when she starts playing up once more and leaves you with that bitterest pill of all, that incredible feeling that you wasted your time and energy.

Invest your energies in yourself and let her do the running if you absolutely must still have her in your life.

 

[Tkay]

fvck her
make her go crazy about you
make her love you even more
do the stuff she would have never allowed when you were together first

and then

boom
dump & ignore her.
revenge is sweet


(hm, now to think of it, this is the most un-alpha un-cool thing to do. But I'm sure it would make u feel better :crackup: )


anyway, the good thing to do is GFTOW
get her out of your mind. I've been there/still am.
Don't be stupid, you should let things end "in good terms", so you have her as a chickfriend to meet new chicks.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

SHE left YOU, and she wants to see if SHE CAN TRUST YOU!!!??????? This is wrong on so many levels that I won't go into it.

But really, there is a reason she is your ex. If she left you once, why do you think she won't do it again? Let sleeping dogs lie and move on.

Ok, so what you guys are all basically saying then is that there is absolutely nothing a guy can do that gives a girl a good excuse to leave him.

I understand the whole argument, but think about it. Is it always that straight forward? I can understand if she didn't have good reason, but really are we that blindsided with trying to be the catch that we make no room for rekindling situations from which we made a mess of? To leave it there and move on instead of cleaning it up or possibly starting over?

Its different when you have no self-esteem and you're constantly bickering, whining, b****ing and negatively talking about everything. And if we truly achieve true transformation, then in the end they are the fools to leave.

It brings into question many things. Like what truly is love, marriage and value when past relations don't get to benefit from it? There would almost be no point to any of this if it wasn't defined in some way. Therefore, why should it be handled any different for past relationships as with future ones? Pride? Just cuz? For strength? Value?

There must be a reason for why we are doing this, striving to become better, to increase our dating repetoire, but why then should we punish those who are robbed of the opportunity to get to know the new us. I'd say if they got that chance and ruined it, that THAT would be their true punishment.