Ex girlfriend that breaks up with me now says she loves me and wants to see me

[donenrique]

Hi guys,

This is my first post on this forum and I am completely new to this site, I have been game aware for a couple years now, lost track in 2019 from getting in an LTR and recently took the red pill in July of this year due to a ****ty break up from being dumped by my ex. Read the rational male by Rollo and found this forum due to that, so I figured I could connect with other men who know more than I do.

So my situation is this, I was dating this older chick back in 2016 (she was 37 and I was 24) and it was an LDR. Back then I was completely blue pill beta and literally fell in love with her (or at least I thought I did). This woman however was, pretty manipulative, single mother of 2 children (ages 15 & 18 at the time) in a bad economic situation, (I would sometimes give her money), and kind of toxic. I however, couldn't get enough of it. Long story short I broke up with her a year later in mid 2017. After going through some serious self development, becoming more game aware, more confident etc. I decided to reach back out to her in late 2018. She had a bf at the time and I was also in a relationship. After staying in touch for two years, we saw each other again in Dec of 2020.

I spent a month at her house and we sort of got back together. I went back in April of this year to spend two weeks with her but at this time, I was showing signs of jealousy, a bit of neediness, and I also heard her talking to her ex bf and some other dude in a very intimate way (I didnt say anything though). To sum it all up, she broke up with me in June because to her reasoning, she was in a very bad financial situation and she didn't want to cause me more trouble. She said she had to go out of her country (she lived in south america) and find employment else where.

After the break up in late June, I completely disconnected from her and did not talk to her for 3 whole months. To where we are at now. She reached out just 3 weeks ago via text. After exchanging a couple of text messages, she calls to tell me that she has never been happy in her life. That I made her happy and that she wants to come and visit me for my birthday in December. She also says that she still loves me, never stopped thinking about me and that she wants to possibly spend the rest of life with me. After she broke up with me, I started posting more on social media, going out, exercising more etc. and one of the first things she said to me when she reached back out was if I was seeing or considering being serious with anyone. I said I wasn't with anyone exclusively and that she is more than welcome to come visit me.

By the way, its important that I share with you all that she no longer lives in south america, she moved somewhere (she doesnt want to tell me). But I predict she moved to the states and married her ex bf before me. He was some older white dude with a capn save a hoe mentality, since she was engaged with him and applied for a visa-fiance but due to covid, her dilemma got pushed back. While I was seeing her in the beginning of the year, she said she broke things off with him but I think that's bull****.

Now before anyone gives me **** for my beta ****ing mentality back then, yes I know and I am fully aware that she should have never even been a plate to spin with in the first place. Far worse and LDR with a single mom in south america.

My friends say that she obviously thought she made a good choice by getting entangled with whomever she is with, following an easy path to a better financial life, and now that she is in it, she wants to search for something better and that better might just be me. She is currently 42 and I am 29.

So now she has been very submissive, the texting and calling is almost 70% her and 30% me, but my bull**** radar just keeps going off. Whenever she texts, I usually take an hour or two to respond because I am working or I just dont feel like responding right away. She complained about this and said that she doesnt want to "bother me" anymore and got upset. I messaged her the following day as if nothing happened and she responded with less interest and less emotion.

My question is, how should I go about this? This woman has caused a lot mental damage in my past, but due to that I was able to grow out of my blue pill ways. I would like to **** her again, so if she decides to visit me, I wont deny it. But she is obviously playing hella games. Like not wanting to tell me where she currently is, being mysterious about where she is living and with who she is staying. But also expects me to be loveable and available to her whenever she wants. I have been more reserved in showing emotions to her but I do want to play the game right.

 

[dustmuffin]

She dumped you. She will do it again. Run don’t walk away from this situation.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

This reminds me of a situation I had earlier.

It is eerily similar.

One night I was really hungry.

So I ordered an extra large, double meat lovers.

Before I took my first bite, I told the pizza I loved it.

And I really meant it.

But then, only an hour later, I couldn't stand it.

It had changed somehow.

But then, the very next day, I took a huge dump.

I mean really, really huge dump.

As I looked at my beloved cold pizza in the fridge, I decided me and my pizza should get back together.

It just seemed like the right thing to do.

You'll never guess what happened next.

Once we got back together, I wanted to break up again.

Why can't I just feel that first bite feeling FOREVER, and just keep eating at the same time?

 

[rjc149]

(she was 37 and I was 24) and it was an LDR.

She's over a decade your senior, now in her 40's with kids to boot (they're adults so maybe she no longer needs to support them), and doesn't live in your town. You're not even out of your 20's yet. You're in completely different phases of life. She will naturally, with zero fault of hers, want a real physical relationship, with a man closer to her in age, with resources.

I do want to play the game right.

Okay, what's your endgame here? Through tight text game, a 40-something woman is going to move to a different country to settle down with a 20-something?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

...but my bull**** radar just keeps going off. Whenever she texts, I usually take an hour or two to respond because I am working or I just dont feel like responding right away.

This, right here. Trust your gut instinct.

Your focus is on the right place, your work, finances, yourself, etc. She is a distraction, she will not compliment your journey.

Value yourself. Don't let her back in your life, wish her the best, move on. Walk your path.

Modern Man Advice

 

[EyeBRollin]

A woman dropping you is permanently cut. At best she can become a booty call.

 

[SargeMaximus]

A woman dropping you is permanently cut. At best she can become a booty call.

This. Make her earn you back by performing in bed but never let her achieve the status of gf again

 

[bat soup]

Hi guys,

This is my first post on this forum and I am completely new to this site, I have been game aware for a couple years now, lost track in 2019 from getting in an LTR and recently took the red pill in July of this year due to a ****ty break up from being dumped by my ex. Read the rational male by Rollo and found this forum due to that, so I figured I could connect with other men who know more than I do.

So my situation is this, I was dating this older chick back in 2016 (she was 37 and I was 24) and it was an LDR. Back then I was completely blue pill beta and literally fell in love with her (or at least I thought I did). This woman however was, pretty manipulative, single mother of 2 children (ages 15 & 18 at the time) in a bad economic situation, (I would sometimes give her money), and kind of toxic. I however, couldn't get enough of it. Long story short I broke up with her a year later in mid 2017. After going through some serious self development, becoming more game aware, more confident etc. I decided to reach back out to her in late 2018. She had a bf at the time and I was also in a relationship. After staying in touch for two years, we saw each other again in Dec of 2020.

I spent a month at her house and we sort of got back together. I went back in April of this year to spend two weeks with her but at this time, I was showing signs of jealousy, a bit of neediness, and I also heard her talking to her ex bf and some other dude in a very intimate way (I didnt say anything though). To sum it all up, she broke up with me in June because to her reasoning, she was in a very bad financial situation and she didn't want to cause me more trouble. She said she had to go out of her country (she lived in south america) and find employment else where.

After the break up in late June, I completely disconnected from her and did not talk to her for 3 whole months. To where we are at now. She reached out just 3 weeks ago via text. After exchanging a couple of text messages, she calls to tell me that she has never been happy in her life. That I made her happy and that she wants to come and visit me for my birthday in December. She also says that she still loves me, never stopped thinking about me and that she wants to possibly spend the rest of life with me. After she broke up with me, I started posting more on social media, going out, exercising more etc. and one of the first things she said to me when she reached back out was if I was seeing or considering being serious with anyone. I said I wasn't with anyone exclusively and that she is more than welcome to come visit me.

By the way, its important that I share with you all that she no longer lives in south america, she moved somewhere (she doesnt want to tell me). But I predict she moved to the states and married her ex bf before me. He was some older white dude with a capn save a hoe mentality, since she was engaged with him and applied for a visa-fiance but due to covid, her dilemma got pushed back. While I was seeing her in the beginning of the year, she said she broke things off with him but I think that's bull****.

Now before anyone gives me **** for my beta ****ing mentality back then, yes I know and I am fully aware that she should have never even been a plate to spin with in the first place. Far worse and LDR with a single mom in south america.

My friends say that she obviously thought she made a good choice by getting entangled with whomever she is with, following an easy path to a better financial life, and now that she is in it, she wants to search for something better and that better might just be me. She is currently 42 and I am 29.

So now she has been very submissive, the texting and calling is almost 70% her and 30% me, but my bull**** radar just keeps going off. Whenever she texts, I usually take an hour or two to respond because I am working or I just dont feel like responding right away. She complained about this and said that she doesnt want to "bother me" anymore and got upset. I messaged her the following day as if nothing happened and she responded with less interest and less emotion.

My question is, how should I go about this? This woman has caused a lot mental damage in my past, but due to that I was able to grow out of my blue pill ways. I would like to **** her again, so if she decides to visit me, I wont deny it. But she is obviously playing hella games. Like not wanting to tell me where she currently is, being mysterious about where she is living and with who she is staying. But also expects me to be loveable and available to her whenever she wants. I have been more reserved in showing emotions to her but I do want to play the game right.

Dump her and find another single mother to give money to.

 

[Kotaix]

No no no... Never date a woman who uses a man for an ulterior motive, like a green card. You can't trust her.

Ditch her and find someone who isn't a mess.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Welcome aboard....

At your age, I'm thinking that you've probably had some past deep situation. When it was over (and I mean *finally* over) ... you looked back on it and thought... "man, what was I thinking???!!!"

Anyone with age and/or experience has been there (self included).

At the moment, you're in the haze and having been there myself, it's difficult to see things clearly.

Look back at your posting. This time, pretend that a friend sent you this as an e-mail and is looking for your advice. If you're able to step out of the equation (sometimes easier said than done) you'll find your own answers.

 

[donenrique]

I have been completely neutral with her since she hit me up, it seems to me that she is seeking my validation as if for her own entertainment and amusement. I genuinely think that she enjoys the feeling of control over me. As if I am her little puppy ready to run to her as soon as she calls. In the past I used to display this behavior, but now I cringe at how I used to be.

So now that I am not displaying this behavior, I think she wants me to get a reaction by pulling away a bit and being "cold". She got upset with me on Sunday because I replied to some of her messages an hour later, (even though earlier that day, I called her 2 hours earlier and she didn't pick up. So I continued on with my day.) After a couple hours, she messages me saying that her internet is really ****ty, and asking what I am doing? After not replying for several minutes she sends another message saying, "I hate when you don't answer me " Then she says "I see you must be very busy, so I won't be bothering you anymore". An hour later when I felt like replying to her I said "sorry hun I was bit caught up with something, call me if you get a chance and we can chat". She replied by saying, "well you can continue being caught up with something, and I don't have good internet, I cant even call my kids".

In my head, I'm thinking that's bull****, she's just with her new bf or husband and cant reply with a voice note or talk on the phone. So I said, "No worries, I wanted to hear your voice but if you cant call that's fine, we'll talk tomorrow. Have a good night". She then goes off to block me on whatsapp that Sunday night, then unblocks me on Monday morning. At this point I'm like wtf?!

I hit her up later that Monday (yesterday) saying hello, and teasing her if she was still mad and saying that I see you unblocked me. She replies as if nothing happened and she went on to say that she wasn't mad and that she hopes I am having a good day blah blah blah.

I called her later that evening around 9pm and no answer. She then called me back this morning, saying that she put her phone on silence so she didn't hear my call and that she usually puts her phone on silence around 6-7pm and forgets about her phone. (Lies lies, and more lies). She rushed the call and said that she was onto a busy day and that she just wanted to say hello.

At this point, I feel like telling her; "You're full of ****, like do you actually think I believe all the **** you say to me"? But that would mean that she got a reaction out of me, but at the same time I feel like an idiot just listening to her sorry ass lies.

Is there a word for this type of personality? Bipolar? Manipulative? Narcisitic? I honestly don't care about her anymore but I do feel like this to me is some sort of personal challenge/goal. Like can I really "Game" this chic and do it right this time without getting hurt or emotionally invested in her.

I don't plan on hitting her back up, and I know she will sometime soon. If she does, how should I take it?

Thank you guys for all your input, I'm very glad I found this forum.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have been completely neutral with her since she hit me up, it seems to me that she is seeking my validation as if for her own entertainment and amusement. I genuinely think that she enjoys the feeling of control over me. As if I am her little puppy ready to run to her as soon as she calls. In the past I used to display this behavior, but now I cringe at how I used to be.

So now that I am not displaying this behavior, I think she wants me to get a reaction by pulling away a bit and being "cold". She got upset with me on Sunday because I replied to some of her messages an hour later, (even though earlier that day, I called her 2 hours earlier and she didn't pick up. So I continued on with my day.) After a couple hours, she messages me saying that her internet is really ****ty, and asking what I am doing? After not replying for several minutes she sends another message saying, "I hate when you don't answer me " Then she says "I see you must be very busy, so I won't be bothering you anymore". An hour later when I felt like replying to her I said "sorry hun I was bit caught up with something, call me if you get a chance and we can chat". She replied by saying, "well you can continue being caught up with something, and I don't have good internet, I cant even call my kids".

In my head, I'm thinking that's bull****, she's just with her new bf or husband and cant reply with a voice note or talk on the phone. So I said, "No worries, I wanted to hear your voice but if you cant call that's fine, we'll talk tomorrow. Have a good night". She then goes off to block me on whatsapp that Sunday night, then unblocks me on Monday morning. At this point I'm like wtf?!

I hit her up later that Monday (yesterday) saying hello, and teasing her if she was still mad and saying that I see you unblocked me. She replies as if nothing happened and she went on to say that she wasn't mad and that she hopes I am having a good day blah blah blah.

I called her later that evening around 9pm and no answer. She then called me back this morning, saying that she put her phone on silence so she didn't hear my call and that she usually puts her phone on silence around 6-7pm and forgets about her phone. (Lies lies, and more lies). She rushed the call and said that she was onto a busy day and that she just wanted to say hello.

At this point, I feel like telling her; "You're full of ****, like do you actually think I believe all the **** you say to me"? But that would mean that she got a reaction out of me, but at the same time I feel like an idiot just listening to her sorry ass lies.

Is there a word for this type of personality? Bipolar? Manipulative? Narcisitic? I honestly don't care about her anymore but I do feel like this to me is some sort of personal challenge/goal. Like can I really "Game" this chic and do it right this time without getting hurt or emotionally invested in her.

I don't plan on hitting her back up, and I know she will sometime soon. If she does, how should I take it?

Thank you guys for all your input, I'm very glad I found this forum.

She's running circles around you with those push pull games. Are you fvcking her?

 

[metalwater]

you are giving her a lot of emotional support. what are you getting?

if only talking to one girl, it's hard to compare if they are being cool or not. because bad behaviour vs nothing, bad wins usually. decide only after you are talking to two more girls, that would be a total of three, this one and two more. not a joke, I mean it.

BTW; welcome.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I'm glad OP posted this story. It showcases that if you take a third world female away from her environment, she will employ her hypergamous needs, and dualistic sexual strategy. Just like any other female.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm glad OP posted this story. It showcases that if you take a third world female away from her environment, she will employ her hypergamous needs, and dualistic sexual strategy. Just like any other female.

The matrix is sort of like "windows updates" if you are on the network your computer will be periodically updated. With her in this environment, each interaction updates her to be more and more like the environment.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I'm glad OP posted this story. It showcases that if you take a third world female away from her environment, she will employ her hypergamous needs, and dualistic sexual strategy. Just like any other female.

At the same time it shows scarcity on the mans part, she's always going to wonder why he couldn't find a local woman and had to look abroad.

I've been in OPs shoes, with an older woman from belarus. I'm glad to see his at least learnt from his mistake.

 

[donenrique]

I'm glad OP posted this story. It showcases that if you take a third world female away from her environment, she will employ her hypergamous needs, and dualistic sexual strategy. Just like any other female.

You are absolutely right, do you have the link to OP's story?

 

[donenrique]

She's running circles around you with those push pull games. Are you fvcking her?

No, she's far from where I live, feel free to read my first post to share your thoughts

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No, she's far from where I live, feel free to read my first post to share your thoughts

Its attention games. All the guys here know it. If you had a fulfilling life where you are and a good sex life you wouldn't even be thinking of this lady who teases you over the phone. We identify it quickly because it's very normal these days. Eventually you won't entertain those or waste your time.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I have been completely neutral with her since she hit me up, it seems to me that she is seeking my validation as if for her own entertainment and amusement. I genuinely think that she enjoys the feeling of control over me. As if I am her little puppy ready to run to her as soon as she calls. In the past I used to display this behavior, but now I cringe at how I used to be.

So now that I am not displaying this behavior, I think she wants me to get a reaction by pulling away a bit and being "cold". She got upset with me on Sunday because I replied to some of her messages an hour later, (even though earlier that day, I called her 2 hours earlier and she didn't pick up. So I continued on with my day.) After a couple hours, she messages me saying that her internet is really ****ty, and asking what I am doing? After not replying for several minutes she sends another message saying, "I hate when you don't answer me " Then she says "I see you must be very busy, so I won't be bothering you anymore". An hour later when I felt like replying to her I said "sorry hun I was bit caught up with something, call me if you get a chance and we can chat". She replied by saying, "well you can continue being caught up with something, and I don't have good internet, I cant even call my kids".

In my head, I'm thinking that's bull****, she's just with her new bf or husband and cant reply with a voice note or talk on the phone. So I said, "No worries, I wanted to hear your voice but if you cant call that's fine, we'll talk tomorrow. Have a good night". She then goes off to block me on whatsapp that Sunday night, then unblocks me on Monday morning. At this point I'm like wtf?!

I hit her up later that Monday (yesterday) saying hello, and teasing her if she was still mad and saying that I see you unblocked me. She replies as if nothing happened and she went on to say that she wasn't mad and that she hopes I am having a good day blah blah blah.

I called her later that evening around 9pm and no answer. She then called me back this morning, saying that she put her phone on silence so she didn't hear my call and that she usually puts her phone on silence around 6-7pm and forgets about her phone. (Lies lies, and more lies). She rushed the call and said that she was onto a busy day and that she just wanted to say hello.

At this point, I feel like telling her; "You're full of ****, like do you actually think I believe all the **** you say to me"? But that would mean that she got a reaction out of me, but at the same time I feel like an idiot just listening to her sorry ass lies.

Is there a word for this type of personality? Bipolar? Manipulative? Narcisitic? I honestly don't care about her anymore but I do feel like this to me is some sort of personal challenge/goal. Like can I really "Game" this chic and do it right this time without getting hurt or emotionally invested in her.

I don't plan on hitting her back up, and I know she will sometime soon. If she does, how should I take it?

Thank you guys for all your input, I'm very glad I found this forum.

We could all come down at you for being naive. But this is something you, unfortunately, need to go through to really grow.

We all told you to not play her game and give her what she wants. But that is exactly what you did.

When we give advice to youngsters like you, we give it with the intention to save you time, energy, and pain, however, most of us know you will do the exact opposite and still go through the mess. And that is okay. Like I said, that is often how we humans truly learn.

But now that you are hopefully more aware of her behavior and true intentions, do yourself a favor and simply walk away. Do not say anything. Do not get upset or call her out on it. You are better than that.

Simply walk away and focus on much more important things. You have a bigger purpose than women.


Modern Man Advice