Ex girlfriend problems

[Viper678]

To make things short ... I am having a problem getting over my Ex and moving on with my life. We were dating for about 8 months and she ended things in September. So basically months have passed by since the breakup and for some reason I still can't get over this girl.
I believe that my main problem is that I see her so often. I am a senior in college (22 years old). We go to the same school so we bump into each other about 4 times a week (usually at the local bars). And every time I see her I instantly get depressed and upset over the fact that we aren't together anymore.
In general, I have always been good with picking up women, and I have been with several women since the breakup. But it seems like no matter what i do, this girl is always on my mind.
So without making this post too long, I just wanna know if anyone has ever had a problem like this? And if so, what do you feel is the best way to get on with your life and get the Ex off your mind?

 

[wjh]

I haven't had the same problem. But that's because I never see the girl again.

So, given that I have no experience dealing with what you're dealing with, I'll offer my two cents.

You need to not see her to get over her. So, stop going out to places where you KNOW you'll run into her. College is college, and you're almost done anyway, so there's nothing you can do about it.

In the meanwhile, meet NEW girls, start talking to them and avoid places you KNOW she's likely to be.

 

[Jariel]

wjh is spot on. To get over a girl, you need to get her out of your life. Stop seeing her and stop communication with her and you will soon find your feeling start to settle and you can view things logically. There's a saying that goes:

The further away from the fire you get, the colder you become.

Think of her as the fire, the centre point of all your pain, hopes and emotions, and you just need to get away and let those feelings cool down.

Oh and as a bonus, as you distance yourself from a woman and she feels she has lost your attention, it can sometimes raise her interest.

 

[OneHitterQuiter]

You Have a problem

First off yes I have been there but with my ex we had almost three years together. What made things tuff is that I went to school with most of her family that also made up the bulk of my friends. What help me get over her was taking it one day at a time. I went on with my life and dating, and banging other females. Yes I would think of her alot and see her when I went over my friends houses. After a while I noticed that I thought less and less about her.

So the point is go on with your life and live it the best you can because she doesnt decided it your happy or not.......you do

 

[San]

Hey man, i know exactly what you're feeling.
I had a relationship bit over 3 years and i would have married that girl if it wasn't for the flings she had with other guys.
That ruined that future-vision of mine.
So it's hard and you have to move on, change your life into another direction without her, it's hard.
I'm still not fully 100% after losing my woman (5 months ago), but that's also i had a future-vision with her.

You need distraction of some sort, in the form of other women, work, hobby, you name it!

Change your vision and path and you will encounter new beautiful things which makes it easier to forgive and forget until you will walk into another woman who rocks your world!!

Everything has an opposite, as also the case in love, total euphoria and total pain.

I wish you strength!

 

[nonstop]

if you are really feeling depressed you could try getting some St Johns Wort from the local health food suppliment type shop, their supposed to be better than anti depressants. might help get you through.

just remember to be a man! and you're the catch!

 

[JonJack]

If you don't mind me asking, what is it that you miss about her? And try to be totally honest when answering this question.

If you miss the fun times, do you have fun with your other friends? Isn't that enough?

If you miss the care and love she gave you, do you have friends that care for you? Does your family show you care too? Isn't that enough?

What is it about this girl that makes her so special to the point where everyone else around you isn't able to satisfy you?

 

[DJHoolahoop]

i see my ex gf about once a week, sometimes twice a week. i too had issues in the past of seeing her. it'd ALWAYS create this feeling inside me and i'd end up going home "crying about it" (not literally, but i felt depressed).

Running away may help you to eventually lose all the feelings and reminders you have of her until you don't care when you DO see her. But if you can man, by all means just learn to brush it off and keep going without letting it bug you. Eventually you can get to a spot where it don't even affect you anymore. Just really read everything on this forum and work on getting your pride and respect to yourself back. Then once you're able to get girls a lot easilier than ever before, you'll see that when you are able to take dating into your control that you can move on easier.

Now the feelings will still be there, but it's just easier to get past them when you see and understand why you have to. Just something that i came to realize, is that when you feel you have found everything you've been looking for, that it doesn't make sense to yourself to go looking for it again. It's a case of, what I had was what I was looking for, so why look for it again? I don't want to cuz it's right here!

and that's when you really should ask what you're REALLY doing to yourself by holding on.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I'm in the same boat as you. I work at the same place as my ex, who I broke up with 2 months ago. I see her 3-4x a week and its definitely hard, not because I want to be back with her, but because girls are immature and make things harder than they should be. You cannot show her that it affects you, even if it does. Just hold your head high and act like she isn't there. As far as running into her at bars, go to different night spots. A part of me thinks that you go there to have fun and also to run into you ex.

Remember she broke up with you for a reason. Going back to that is just asking to hurt for that much longer. Give all these new girls a geninue chance, get to know them without thinking/comparing them to your ex.


PIMP

 

[jakeyboy]

well, everytime i think about my ex, and start to feel a bit depressed, i use this mentality, maybe it'll work for you.

1, she broke up with you, indicating a very low interest level. you have been put in a file in her brainbox under "loser". you don't need to be back with this woman, and even if you get back with her, she's probably going to trample over you again and dump you eventually. what you need is a new woman with a new file in her brainbox, so you can start anew.

ok, so you both decide to work it out. whats the worse that could happen you ask. well, lets see. everything that was wrong in your relationship probably will still remain wrong or those problems will resurface, because you both are still the same people. nothing has changed.

the reason people hang on to the memory of their exes, is because of something called the "constant hopeful" you refuse to believe that she doesnt want to be with you anymore. so when you see her you feel pangs of yesterday, when things were happier. the only way to stop these feelings is to face reality.

i mean why would you care about someone who doesnt even know you're alive?