Ex girlfriend is trying to enter my social circle...

[Diaforetikos]

My ex didn't have many friends when we were goin out, so I introduced her to my friends. After we broke up she started to hang out with her friends again. It wasn't until recently when she decided to start hanging out with my friends...

Now normally I wouldn't make this a big deal, but I've known these guys for almost 10 years. And she starts hanging out with them and starts inviting them to events and stuff. And now things have gotten awkward. She avoids me still and expects me to do the same.

These are my friends. What is she effin' thinking. I tried to be friends with her, but she doesn't accept it. I don't know what to do. Unnecessary drama.

I try not to ask for help from you guys unless I really don't know what to do. My plan was just to hang with my friends like normal. She can only make it awkward if I let her. What do you guys think?

 

[S0LID]

I'd freak! Have a word with your friends, wtf are they thinking??

 

[S0LID]

multi post

 

[DjVita]

NEXT her, shes not worth it, pull her away from your firends
sorry man, but she is not getting your friends, sucks.

 

[teddy240]

If gone through this several times in my past, you have a gf, she hangs out with your friends you break up, she stills hangs out with your friends, then moves on. She is only coming back into the social circle FOR YOU. Even if she doesnt say it directly, why would she leave the circle then all of a sudden come back? Everytime this has happen(it just happened a month ago with mine) She was hanging out with my friends, i said "hey i think we should forget the past and be friends" she blew me off, but funny thing is she asked my friend what i said. Of course i said she was a B!tch. What does she do? She gets my number to apologize and later to hang out with me. It went on to her admiting that she had missed me and wanted to work it out. So when you see her with your friends just laugh it off. She is just trying to slowly get back into your life.

 

[Diaforetikos]

The only problem with telling them that I don't want them hanging out with her is a couple things; 1) I don't want to make my friends choose sides. They all like her a lot. 2) I don't want to act like she's a problem. If she sees me stressin over her. Then it'll look like I haven't changed, and then she can bad mouth about me to anyone. 3) I personally just wanna squash this and be cool friends, but this ho wants to be all immature.

I need to talk to her, but I'm not givin in to her. Stoopid bullsh!t.

 

[DonJuanit0]

The only problem with telling them that I don't want them hanging out with her is a couple things; 1) I don't want to make my friends choose sides. They all like her a lot. 2) I don't want to act like she's a problem. If she sees me stressin over her. Then it'll look like I haven't changed, and then she can bad mouth about me to anyone. 3) I personally just wanna squash this and be cool friends, but this ho wants to be all immature.

I need to talk to her, but I'm not givin in to her. Stoopid bullsh!t.

Wtf do you care about what she thinks of you?!? You are no longer together and this chick is hurting you through your friends, and you don't do anything about it!

I only wonder 1 thing!

WHY WOULD MY FRIENDS SHOULD CHOOSE SIDES? THEY ARE MY FRIENDS!
If you trully believe that there is a chance 1/100 that your friends will choose her side, then I'm sorry to tell you but you have NO good friends!!

If you're only saying this cause you don't want to have them in that position then YOU have to choose between having what you want in life or not! You feel bad about it? SAY IT SO, THEY ARE YOUR FRIENDS! THEY ARE SUPOSSED TO HELP YOU FEEL FINE!

You don't want to act like she is a problem? Well, friend, I see a clear problem here! Face it...

 

[Diaforetikos]

FVCK!! Your right. I gotta get this b!tch outta my life. I'm just mad she doesn't wanna squash it. I don't care if she kicks it with my friends as long as were cool. That way I'm not tryin to feel all awkward. Ima tell her to back off my friends and tell my friends that I'm not cool with her and would appreciate it if hey wouldn't kick it with her either.

 

[DonJuanit0]

That's the spirit m8! You are a man and you are after what you want in life! NOONE should make you feel bad while you can do something about it!

One more question, diaforetikos is a greek word! You have it cause you like it or you are Greek leaving in California?

 

[Diaforetikos]

I use to be a hardcore Christian. I would study the bible and translate he words into Greek. Then I would grab a Greek dictionary and define the words. It made reading it mean much more. But I calmed down on all that stuff, but I still like Greek words.

Thanks for the advice!

 

[Diaforetikos]

*UPDATE*

I just wanted to leave you guys with a little update on this. If anything, it's more for me than for you.

So I went to the movies with my friends. She showed up, of course. I was gonna talk to her, but my friend didn't want me to until after the movie.

The movie ends, and I was about to pull her to the side... Then my bro said he needed to go home ASAP. I wasn't expecting that, so I left.

So today, I was at work thinkin about this whole situation and decided to just get it over with. I messages her on MSN. This is what I said:

"So basically we need to stop actin like were not cool and squash this or you need to stop hangin out with my friends that I introduced u too. I wanna be cool with u, but if were not gonna be cool, then you shouldn't be around. I'm not tryin to have someone in my group of friends that I got drama with. I got too much other **** to deal with. I'm cool if you are."

She went off. She went on a rant for about half an hour. I didn't say one thing. Anything I said would have come off immature. I tried to keep my cool and just let it go.

After she calmed down, I just told her we could be cool, or not. Her choice. She said some more bull, but agreed to being cool.

... Then she went on Facebook and *****ed about the whole thing to all my friends. I just laughed it off. I'm too old for this sh!t.

I'm tryin to grow. Each experience helps. Good or bad.

 

[kingsam]

I'd freak! Have a word with your friends, wtf are they thinking??

yes your friends are at fault here , AFC's dont realise how WRONG this is...

some guys would seel their souls for pu$$y

 

[Diaforetikos]

yes your friends are at fault here , AFC's dont realise how WRONG this is...

Well I can't just tell my friends who they can and can't hangout with. I introduced them to her over 3 years ago. They've all grown close so I just can't be like, "I'm not cool with her, so all you guys need to stop hangin out with her."

These are grown a** men and women. They can do whatever they please. It's not their fault they're stuck in the middle. I just have to work around it.

 

[L B]

True friends of yours should know to avoid your lady friend there, especially when you're around.

 

[eaglez1177]

yes your friends are at fault here , AFC's dont realise how WRONG this is...

some guys would seel their souls for pu$$y

I couldnt agree more. No offense man but if I was in your shoes, I would probably consider getting some new friends. Youve known those guys for 10 years, there should be no question as to what side theyre on. They are totally out of line hanging out with your ex and being good friends with her.

 

[kingsam]

Well I can't just tell my friends who they can and can't hangout with. I introduced them to her over 3 years ago. They've all grown close so I just can't be like, "I'm not cool with her, so all you guys need to stop hangin out with her."

These are grown a** men and women. They can do whatever they please. It's not their fault they're stuck in the middle. I just have to work around it.

im not saying to confront them , just pointing out how WRONG they are being to you...

i remember when was more or less split-up with an ex (a long time ago) she'd added herself to my (uni) flat mates MSN, and was talking to him ... clearly as an ego boost to her self and to piss me off ... he didnt have a clue how "wrong to me his friend" that was for him to talk to her... i had to delete her off his msn and block her (when he wasnt looking! i didnt confront him as he wouldnt have understood)[/I

Another thing, form their POV they obviously find her exciting and she is providing things you cant ...
- she is giving them female attention, which your buddies are probably desperate for
- she may be introducing them to other women as well
- shes new and exciting , you are same old Diaforetikos they've known for ages...

for a AFC with no sense of man-decency this sounds like a good deal...

 

[Diaforetikos]

im not saying to confront them , just pointing out how WRONG they are being to you...

i remember when was more or less split-up with an ex (a long time ago) she'd added herself to my (uni) flat mates MSN, and was talking to him ... clearly as an ego boost to her self and to piss me off ... he didnt have a clue how "wrong to me his friend" that was for him to talk to her... i had to delete her off his msn and block her (when he wasnt looking! i didnt confront him as he wouldnt have understood)[/I

Another thing, form their POV they obviously find her exciting and she is providing things you cant ...
- she is giving them female attention, which your buddies are probably desperate for
- she may be introducing them to other women as well
- shes new and exciting , you are same old Diaforetikos they've known for ages...

for a AFC with no sense of man-decency this sounds like a good deal...

These guys aren't AFC at all. A couple of them already have gf's. And some people in my social circle are women too. They are close friends now. But like I said earlier, they have known my ex for like 3 years. When we were dating, all my friends became good friends with her. When I was busy working and stuff, she would hangout with them. They would call her up to hangout and stuff. These are close people. But once we broke up, she stopped hanging out with them, because I still hung out with them.

She keeps in touch with as well. It wasn't until recently when she decided to hangout with them again. Like I said, they're all close. So for them to have to choose a side is messed up. Random analogy, but its like making a child choose between the mother and father after a divorce. Its pretty messed up.

Were cool now, so I'm not gonna cause drama for myself. I'll just continue gaming other women and just do me.

 

[Diaforetikos]

It's best to have a gf without her knowing your friends and without you knowing her friends. That's the #1 cause of failure in relationships: being reliable on the partner's friends.

Haha. I wish I knew this back then. We had a 2 year relationship. Hung out everyday like a little biaytch. She wanted to be where I was, so I introduced her to my friends and bam...

Now I'm paying the price. Let this be a lesson to all you new to the forums. Don't introduce your girlfriend to your friends until you decide to get married. Bad decision.

 

[Captain]

Is it so hard to be civil and treat your ex like a normal girl?

 

[Jondo]

My ex didn't have many friends when we were goin out, so I introduced her to my friends. After we broke up she started to hang out with her friends again. It wasn't until recently when she decided to start hanging out with my friends...

Now normally I wouldn't make this a big deal, but I've known these guys for almost 10 years. And she starts hanging out with them and starts inviting them to events and stuff. And now things have gotten awkward. She avoids me still and expects me to do the same.

These are my friends. What is she effin' thinking. I tried to be friends with her, but she doesn't accept it. I don't know what to do. Unnecessary drama.

I try not to ask for help from you guys unless I really don't know what to do. My plan was just to hang with my friends like normal. She can only make it awkward if I let her. What do you guys think?

I would tell her to **** off if she is manipulating you like that and trying to do things with your friends. The way I see it, she's trying to get you jealous. If your friends are not loyal enough to actually do things with her, knowing she's your ex, I would ditch them too. It's hard, but you have to break through all of the barriers of oppression that have been put around you if your friends are that way.