ex girlfriend contacts me

[Dave111]

was dating my girlfriend for two years. she turned into a pain in the ass and I dumped her last month. I haven't been in contact with her since until last night she sent me a txt saying "hello how you doing, thinking of you blah blah"

Now this may sound silly as I dumped her, but I still really like this girl a lot, I do have a real fondness and soft spot for her. I left her because I wasn't prepared to let her disrespect me and she had done so repeatadly for a few months.

The question is, that although I'd love to bang her again, I dont really see a future with us again as a long term couple but I still want to be friends with her. Its not been easy as I have my days when it all gets me down and I think of her, but in reality I know I did the right thing ending it with her.

Question:....Do I hang out with her and hope that we can still be friends, which I would like, as I do value her friendship and miss her company or do I have to do the hardline approach and cutt her out my life altogether,....something I really dont want to do.

If there was one song that defined this situation, listen to "Girlfriend In A Coma" by The Smiths and listen to the lyrics Morrissey sings and you'll see what I mean about this!."Sometimes I want to strangle her, but I would never want to see any harm come to her"

 

[Royal Elite]

I'll simply say this-she contacted YOU after all this time so that means she is still interested and has initiated 'da chase' its now up to you to decide what to do. The ball and the advantage is now in Your hands!

 

[spider_007]

If you think you can put her in the friends zone and keep from jumping on her when drunk, feel free. Chances are you'll end up humping her again.....and that's another whole can of worms to tackle........

If it was me, i'd let her know that; you really enjoye her company and friendship, but your still sexually attracted to her, hawever, MAKE SURE YOU LET HER KNOW THAT YOU DON'T SEE A FUTURE WITH HER. this way if she still hits on you, you can keep her as a friend and a fvuck buddy....

 

[Desdinova]

I have my days when it all gets me down and I think of her, but in reality I know I did the right thing ending it with her.

You answered your own question. You're gut is telling you to move on and forget about her. Listen to that.

If you're still having "feelings" for her, there's nothing stopping your from getting back into the 5hit situation that you were previously in. Then you're going to look back one day and think of the time you wasted with her the second time around.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Originally posted by Royal Elite
I'll simply say this-she contacted YOU after all this time so that means she is still interested and has initiated 'da chase' its now up to you to decide what to do. The ball and the advantage is now in Your hands!

She did not give him any ball, and there doesn't seem to be any advantage. Did she call him up to ask him to hang out on a set date? No. Did she say sorry for all the things she's done? No.

Dave111, go with your gut. You seem ready to move on, and it's certainly selfish of her to "just call" you up.

 

[PeoplesChamp]

I'd say it's time to grab your nutz and be frank with her. Say something like "I appreciate the thought, but I'm a really busy guy, if this isn't about sex I'm gonna have to let you go I've got go base jumping my uncle's live-in nurse.." Get the response. and act accordingly. Don't hardline it just use her initiation as a means to extract what you want from the interaction--mainly sex.

 

[flexion_]

You don't value her friendship - come on. Cut all contact. There is no point to being friends with an ex.

 

[insomniac]

Once you write back, you'll never hear from her again. It'll be her way of rejecting you and upping her self-esteem. That's my feeling at least...I might be wrong.

 

[Dave111]

yeah well she txt me the other day saying that it would be cool to hang out sometime soon, but Im not so sure it would be a good idea.

Its really difficult, I do get my days when I get down about it, because I really wanted something to happen with this girl, but she fvcked it all up and now I have no choice but to move on, its just the moving on part that is hard to do.

I was super confident the other day and today Im kinda feeling down again about it, although I have not initiated any contact with her. Deep down I know I shouldn't contact her or hang out with her, but I always have that little voice in my head telling me that it might be ok to hang out with her, but I think you might be right that she will be wanting revenge etc after me dumping her, and I certainly dont want to give her any power back!

 

[Bradshaw]

Originally posted by insomniac
Once you write back, you'll never hear from her again. It'll be her way of rejecting you and upping her self-esteem. That's my feeling at least...I might be wrong.

Listen to this guy, he speaks the truth. I've seen so many guys burned by this. Their girl will try to get back together with them (for like two weeks), then they will dump the guy just so that they have the upper hand.

From a logical point of view, this is pointless. From an emotional point of view this makes perfect sense.

Remember: women think emotionally.

 

[salsipuedes]

Originally posted by Dave111
was dating my girlfriend for two years. she turned into a pain in the ass and I dumped her last month. I haven't been in contact with her since until last night she sent me a txt saying "hello how you doing, thinking of you blah blah"

Now this may sound silly as I dumped her, but I still really like this girl a lot, I do have a real fondness and soft spot for her. I left her because I wasn't prepared to let her disrespect me and she had done so repeatadly for a few months.

The question is, that although I'd love to bang her again, I dont really see a future with us again as a long term couple but I still want to be friends with her. Its not been easy as I have my days when it all gets me down and I think of her, but in reality I know I did the right thing ending it with her.

Question:....Do I hang out with her and hope that we can still be friends, which I would like, as I do value her friendship and miss her company or do I have to do the hardline approach and cutt her out my life altogether,....something I really dont want to do.

If there was one song that defined this situation, listen to "Girlfriend In A Coma" by The Smiths and listen to the lyrics Morrissey sings and you'll see what I mean about this!."Sometimes I want to strangle her, but I would never want to see any harm come to her"

Be honest with yourself, you want her friendship and you also wouldnt mind to bang her? obviously you still like her, stop kidding yourself and admit it.

 

[brucevangeorge]

Well, you could get together with her, Bang her and get rid of her again, just after you finished. That way you get what you want, and she doesn' t get any satisfaction. It's a win-win.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Do you have time to waste? Hang out with her.

You know it's the right thing to do but you really want to be friends, etc. despite the disrespect and bad treatment.

Sounds like the inner dj and inner afc are about equal strength and locked in a death grip with each other.

you dumped her - very bad thing from her perspective. she'll contact you back (like clock work, wasn't it?) and see if she can pull you back. then she'll unload you and get everything the way it should be: she's the dumper and you're the loser who got dumped.

forget the friendship and hanging out, she'll just use it to set the score right later, and you'll just get hung up again

I wouldn't reply to the txt, but if you have to, give something short cheery and doesn't address anything she said (yeah, that's evil, I know...) like "hey! how is everything? nice to hear from you" eom - like you would to any old acquaintance: nice, friendly, unengaged. best is not to reply though