Ex girlfriend and help with the signs??

[z25225582]

Hello im just feeling a little strange atm , me and my now ex were together for about 7 months and broke up officialy a month ago. , We were still meeting and having sex trying to see how things went but it was me making the effort and contact most the time.
Shes not from my area so doesn't have to many friends but likes to invite strangers around for a drink eg with the ppl she does know ad ones she doesn't.
She told me 2 weeks ago that she had slept at a boys house (nothing happened) but the next time it happened she kissed him while still telling me that I need to help out more which ive done more enough of my own share for sure!!.
This hurt me single or not I felt used knowing that she was telling me this and meeting someone new who she only classed as a "friend to sesh with".
We has a massive argument when she said this I stormed out the house and she found it funny I didn't speak or see her for a week , only time I went to hers was when I dropped her stuff off at her door when she wasn't in.
Then outa the blue she messages me and I new deep down this was to know what id been up to "her excuse was she found a tshirt that was mine" when it wasn't so I didn't get it.
We had a bit of a rant then her friend tells me not to message her anymore , then that night she messages me asking me to come around! , obviously me loving her and knowing it was a bootay call I still did.
When we had sex it felt awkward at first both laughing and that but it turned out great but I didn't feel as hurt after doin it but her emotions completely changed. , She was saying that she likes this boy but she really does love me asking me to kiss her and that but to my amazement I didn't want to be all loving just the sex and physical side I wanted so I didn't feel as hurt when I went home again.
She made a bit of a thing saying you no I love you so why wont you kiss me eg but then I felt bad because I know she is meeting someone else and has promised me she hasn't done anything more than kiss him but that's not the point.
So I don't know if this is all spare of the moment because we aint seen eachother or spoke for a week , she knows ive met up with a girl soon as I found out about her meeting someone else and was asking me all these questions and she asked me if id slept with her I said YES (which I eventually told her I haven't) just so I could see if she was actually bothered and she went crazy telling me to go and stuff which I didn't get because shes meeting someone new!. then started messaging the girls mate I said I slept with asking her questions and stuff so now im really confused.

Then we both calmed down and ended up having sex again that night and I felt even better now knowing that shes actually not happy about me meeting someone else but I wasn't honest to her about it unlike her who was stringing me along on the side.
We cuddled up and I walked her to work that day joking and laughing about as you do but I tried to give her a hug bye as I said im not doin this again its not fair on anyone and she basically said no and wet into work so I went home.

Now im twiddling my thumbs of what to think about all this situation??

My feelings atm I do love her but I feel better after sleeping with her which is strange but I know deep down id take her back but I already made that mistake few weeks back and she used it against me knowing id come running back when she wanted me. But now ive started meeting someone else which wasn't the case before are we both on the rebound as she stated "she isn't".

Just don't no what to think about all this im not gunna message her because it aint fair on the person shes meeting and I know deep down she gets really paranoid about things.
So help on this be much appreciated thankyou

 

[Cremasta]

This is the kind of story that brought a lot of people to this site, so you'll get plenty of good advice.

In 6-12 months time, you're going to realise that pretty much everything you did here was the wrong thing to do. Hopefully though, you're quick on the uptake and doesn't take that long

A few don't's:
- Don't contact her for a while and absolutely don't go around to see her.
- Don't keep thinking you're in love with her
- Don't get angry about the situation, appreciate it for the learning experience it is.
- Don't go and have sex with her until you've erased all feelings of love or affection for her. Maybe go back sometime if you've just got an itch to scratch, but stay away for several months.

A few do's:
- Go find other girls and shag as many as you can.
- ...actually, there's only one 'do'.

Good luck

 

[z25225582]

Thankyou for the input much appreciated.

What I will do is not contact her as this will put everything in her hands which she wants , but my problem is I know she loves me but has got me where she wants me to be as she knows ive came back to her even tho I knew she was meeting someone else. , So I will avoid contact with her all together.
I felt much better when I met this other girl but I haven't been physical with her because ive found it extremely hard not to picture my ex and I don't wanna hurt the person I meet feelings just yet buy moving on to fast as im not over my ex im not that sort of person to stoop that low.
Goin from woman to woman isn't my thing if im honest because im mentally strong I don't need to do that to get over my ex.

But my ex and the way she is acting is this down to her not knowing what she wants or is it a mixture of wants me but also wants to live the single life and cant have both?

I do want me and my ex to be together again as ino we are great and im not in denial I just wanna no what the best situation is for getting her back without contacting her but also not lowering myself to goin from girl to girl?

She knows im meeting someone now and this is what got me as she made such a big deal out of it and her situation is the same but I told her I wanted her to be happy.

Im not gunna speak or try get in contact with her in anyway , If I don't hear from her in say a month will that be clear that she is actually moving on with her life?.
And if she messages me how do I go about not looking like I been waiting for her to contact me without coming across as wanting her back , as I don't wanna ignore her and for her to think ive moved on because that's what I don't want.

I personally beleave shes on a rebound but I guess in time this will tell me if so but until then im gunan carry on meeting this girl and see where it brings me might not even want her back in time to come either way.

 

[Neon Owl]

Mate, your story and situation is so shockingly similar to mine I wondered if you were my alter-ego for a minute lol
Went out with her for 7 months, broke up but still see eachother for sex but still behave like we're in a relationship, it's always me that initiates the meetups. We're both seeing/meeting up with other people but I still want her back even though I know she's no good for me.

I'm also going NC like you I've deleted her number from my phone so if she really does want to see me she'll have to swallow her pride and do the asking but if not then I won't see or talk to her again.

Oh and I don't want to make you feel any worse, but there's a very good chance she is fvcking this other guy but doesn't want to tell you because she knows how badly you'll take it. I know it's not what you want to hear...

 

[Sloweburna707]

Yeah I've done the same thing as you bro, not a good situation you only start to sink in the feeling that man I had all this built up inside, feelings or emotions towards her just to BUST A NUT hell nah man, like usher said let this one burn, go out don't contact her, make something up say your dating some one as well, and then go out and meet some ladies, feeling lonely go to a strip club tell the dancer you girl just dumped you! keep her on the back burner how about you txt her or call her when you want to bang her out. Good Luck mane

 

[z25225582]

Shocking that we come online for advice ay fella but guess it does do a lot of help and makes you think is all this actually worfit over one girl.

Yea my Ex is no good for me at all I done so much for her in every department guess that probly why but she had a very aggresvie side for sure! ,

Yea to be honest it wouldn't surprise me she actually comes across as a tart but what she doesn't know that I have been meeting someone on the sly the whole time we broke up and sleeping with them and its a girl she actually hates so much.
But still after all this it doesn't make me feel any better and where you say about pride and waiting for her to contact you I understand where your coming from but guess my ex is so flaming stubborn its hard to imagine her actually making the effort.

If she is ****ing this other guy then getting me to **** her then I feel very honoured in that department as I no which buttons to press as were so familiar with eachother so maybe its a rebound who knows.

Her number aswell as facebook have both been deleted and blocked for well over a week and it was her who asked to see me and messages me wether it was a booty call or not her thinking of me is a good start I just need to learn not to go there next time and make out im not intrested eg.

 

[Sloweburna707]

it can be hard but you have to be in the right mind set when you going over just to knock boots, if you cant handle it emotionally its not even worth it because in the back of you head your going to be thinking about the other guys.

 

[Neon Owl]

it can be hard but you have to be in the right mind set when you going over just to knock boots, if you cant handle it emotionally its not even worth it because in the back of you head your going to be thinking about the other guys.

x2

You have to be 100% honest with yourself here. If you still have emotions for this girl then you're only making it harder on yourself by still seeing her.

I told myself I'd be able to handle fvcking my ex without any feelings but I was only kidding myself. It drives me crazy knowing she's getting fvcked by some other guy but because we're not officially together I have no say in the situation. It's a lose-lose situation with the only benefit being that you get to bust your nut every now and then.

End of the day you're going to do what you will and nothing any of us says will stop you.

 

[z25225582]

Yea that's the worst part of all this is imagining here getting f u cked by someone else but your right nothing can be done about it. , I was okaii fuc king my ex if anything it made me feel better about the whole situation.

Its where she made such a big deal out of "if I slept with someone else" and asking me so many questions about the person I am meeting now when in truth shes meeting someone else so why would it bother her??.

Could be jelousy or it could be the fact shes realising that im moving on and doesn't want that and is sein how im coping without her. just very big confusion with everything so far x