downfallofdisbelief
Don Juan
well, i dont talk on here much anymore these days, but heres my story, and maybe it will help someone out there if there is a solution to this problem...
I was with this girl, Brittany, for about a year. Things were perfect and we we're happy. At the time, I was 19, brittany being 17. The relationship ended because Brittany had to move 3 states away (being 17, she had to go wherever her parents went). Both me and her figured we'd probably never see each other again, except for once every few months or so when she'd visit her relatives/friends, so we mutually decided to end things.
Well, during this relationship, i DID fall victim to the ever-breaking "L" word with this girl, and the feelings were mutual (for the time). Ignorantly, i thought everything was perfect - and it really did feel that way. The sex was great, we never argued, You can probably tell where this is going...
Anyways, I was greatly attached to this girl, unfortunately, and when she left, I was destroyed by it. About a month or so after she moved, I found out she found another guy. Yes, i fell to afc level for quite a while, and it was pathetic. I was terribly depressed for a few weeks, wouldn't eat much etc. Of course, being the idiot that i was, I started dating new chicks immediately. Yea, i got laid a few times, but i was still depressed and broken inside.
Ironically, I had no problems finding new women to date. I'm not the hottest guy in the world, and i'm sure as hell not wealthy, but my complete loss of self confidence and security didn't seem to show through I guess. However, none of these flings did anything for me, and i was still left damaged.
Anyways, she still wanted to maintain contact with me, but i was too hurt over the whole thing so I denied any of it. I just wanted to forget her, and what we had. She attempted many times to get me to talk to her, but I still refused.
The AFC mindset, and depression eventually 'wore off' (for the most part) after a couple months or so. A year passed by, I still thought about her from time to time, but I was back to normal and had no more problems with finding women that I could enjoy being with.
All of that came to a hault about 2 months ago, when Brittany decided to email me. She told me that she moved back, and wanted to see me. I decided to have her over...to tell you the truth, deep down inside i still missed her, and i think that's what influenced my response to the whole thing.
She comes over when me and the roommates were having a housewarming party (we moved in that very friday), things we're lively and positive. I was expecting some ackwardness, but there really wasn't any. We didn't speak of the breakup or the relationship at all that night, but she seemed a tad flirty with me.
Well, It did bring up some feelings in me for a few days, but I made myself tough it up because I knew it wouldn't end up good if I let myself go again. About 2 or 3 weeks after I moved in, I met a girl that lives in the same apartment complex. I forgot about brittany, and everything was good on that end for a while. We ended up in a relationship, but it came to an end after a bit less than a month. It was a pretty meaningless relationship, we had nothing in common, it was more of a physical thing than anything. No biggie, I moved on, but guess who decides to call me?
Yep, you guessed it. Brittany invites me over to her place for some drinks (after not really speaking with each other much since her visit a couple months back) I was busy that time, so i told her so. She invited me 2 more times that week, so i decided to do it for the hell of it, i was bored and apparantly she moved in a block from my place.
I took my roommate with me, since it was gonna be 4 chicks partying with me, so i figured he'd might get something out of the night (i'm a good friend aren't I? hah)
We got a bit tipsy, things were pretty casual, as before, no serious conversations, just having a good time.
Well, a few days go by, she invites me over again, then she came over a few times after that, and now she's pretty much been over here or vice versa, 3-5 times a week (its hard to control when she just has to walk over) And last weekend, she spent the night in my bed both friday and saturday night.
Heres where it gets wierd.... She was with that other guy for quite a while, and they still talk, and seem to be still fond of each other (i've seen her myspace). She's single, but from what it looks like, shes basically still a bit invovled with this guy.
Normally, this would be a giant "YIELD" sign, but now she's doing all sorts of kino with me. Sitting on my lap, laying her head on my shoulder, purposely sitting extra close to me if were on a couch, and in bed, she insists on cuddling with me all night.
Confused? Hell yea. I have no idea what to make of any of this.
I mean, if she's invovled with someone, why is she cuddling with her ex boyfriend and sleeping in his bed? Why is she calling him, and coming over to his house almost every day? If i were this other dude, i wouldn't be too happy about this.
She was over last night, and tonight, and wanted to spend the night again because she didn't want to walk home, but i found her a ride because I really need to back off of all this and see what I'm getting myself into.
What should i make of all this physical stuff, and her behavior in general? I mean, I'm not even really TRYING, she's just in my life again, and I dont know why. We still haven't spoke of our past together, nor has she spoke of this other guy, I haven't even heard her mention his name once.
So here I am. Those feelings keep coming back, and I really need someone to give me the pep talk, and set my ass straight before I let myself get AFC over it again. If you have any ideas as to why she would be acting like this, i would appreciate your insight. What would any of you do in this situation? Am i wrong for being confused about this?
I was with this girl, Brittany, for about a year. Things were perfect and we we're happy. At the time, I was 19, brittany being 17. The relationship ended because Brittany had to move 3 states away (being 17, she had to go wherever her parents went). Both me and her figured we'd probably never see each other again, except for once every few months or so when she'd visit her relatives/friends, so we mutually decided to end things.
Well, during this relationship, i DID fall victim to the ever-breaking "L" word with this girl, and the feelings were mutual (for the time). Ignorantly, i thought everything was perfect - and it really did feel that way. The sex was great, we never argued, You can probably tell where this is going...
Anyways, I was greatly attached to this girl, unfortunately, and when she left, I was destroyed by it. About a month or so after she moved, I found out she found another guy. Yes, i fell to afc level for quite a while, and it was pathetic. I was terribly depressed for a few weeks, wouldn't eat much etc. Of course, being the idiot that i was, I started dating new chicks immediately. Yea, i got laid a few times, but i was still depressed and broken inside.
Ironically, I had no problems finding new women to date. I'm not the hottest guy in the world, and i'm sure as hell not wealthy, but my complete loss of self confidence and security didn't seem to show through I guess. However, none of these flings did anything for me, and i was still left damaged.
Anyways, she still wanted to maintain contact with me, but i was too hurt over the whole thing so I denied any of it. I just wanted to forget her, and what we had. She attempted many times to get me to talk to her, but I still refused.
The AFC mindset, and depression eventually 'wore off' (for the most part) after a couple months or so. A year passed by, I still thought about her from time to time, but I was back to normal and had no more problems with finding women that I could enjoy being with.
All of that came to a hault about 2 months ago, when Brittany decided to email me. She told me that she moved back, and wanted to see me. I decided to have her over...to tell you the truth, deep down inside i still missed her, and i think that's what influenced my response to the whole thing.
She comes over when me and the roommates were having a housewarming party (we moved in that very friday), things we're lively and positive. I was expecting some ackwardness, but there really wasn't any. We didn't speak of the breakup or the relationship at all that night, but she seemed a tad flirty with me.
Well, It did bring up some feelings in me for a few days, but I made myself tough it up because I knew it wouldn't end up good if I let myself go again. About 2 or 3 weeks after I moved in, I met a girl that lives in the same apartment complex. I forgot about brittany, and everything was good on that end for a while. We ended up in a relationship, but it came to an end after a bit less than a month. It was a pretty meaningless relationship, we had nothing in common, it was more of a physical thing than anything. No biggie, I moved on, but guess who decides to call me?
Yep, you guessed it. Brittany invites me over to her place for some drinks (after not really speaking with each other much since her visit a couple months back) I was busy that time, so i told her so. She invited me 2 more times that week, so i decided to do it for the hell of it, i was bored and apparantly she moved in a block from my place.
I took my roommate with me, since it was gonna be 4 chicks partying with me, so i figured he'd might get something out of the night (i'm a good friend aren't I? hah)
We got a bit tipsy, things were pretty casual, as before, no serious conversations, just having a good time.
Well, a few days go by, she invites me over again, then she came over a few times after that, and now she's pretty much been over here or vice versa, 3-5 times a week (its hard to control when she just has to walk over) And last weekend, she spent the night in my bed both friday and saturday night.
Heres where it gets wierd.... She was with that other guy for quite a while, and they still talk, and seem to be still fond of each other (i've seen her myspace). She's single, but from what it looks like, shes basically still a bit invovled with this guy.
Normally, this would be a giant "YIELD" sign, but now she's doing all sorts of kino with me. Sitting on my lap, laying her head on my shoulder, purposely sitting extra close to me if were on a couch, and in bed, she insists on cuddling with me all night.
Confused? Hell yea. I have no idea what to make of any of this.
I mean, if she's invovled with someone, why is she cuddling with her ex boyfriend and sleeping in his bed? Why is she calling him, and coming over to his house almost every day? If i were this other dude, i wouldn't be too happy about this.
She was over last night, and tonight, and wanted to spend the night again because she didn't want to walk home, but i found her a ride because I really need to back off of all this and see what I'm getting myself into.
What should i make of all this physical stuff, and her behavior in general? I mean, I'm not even really TRYING, she's just in my life again, and I dont know why. We still haven't spoke of our past together, nor has she spoke of this other guy, I haven't even heard her mention his name once.
So here I am. Those feelings keep coming back, and I really need someone to give me the pep talk, and set my ass straight before I let myself get AFC over it again. If you have any ideas as to why she would be acting like this, i would appreciate your insight. What would any of you do in this situation? Am i wrong for being confused about this?
