Cliffs at bottom.
Background Information:
Dated this girl for 3 years. I was her first sexual partner and she was madly in love with me. I loved her as well but I didn't treat her the best. I'd dump her for a week so I could have sex with other girls and not feel guilty about it (I don't think she knows much of what I did during our breakups), was aloof around her, etc. Basically I was a bad person and she stuck by me.
Roughly 3-4 months ago I dumped her because she was mad about something that I wasn't aware of and she wouldn't talk to me. Eventually she emailed me what she was mad about since I'd often change the subject/cut her off/etc. if she tried to tell me face to face.
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Recent timeline
About a month or so after the breakup she sent me a text here and there saying things like, "this shirt i'm wearing smells like you ". I'd drunk text her back sometimes but she'd never reply.
A couple months later she drunk called me from a concert. I didn't answer but I eventually got an email from her saying that she drunk called me at the show but didn't remember doing it and that she saw a band we liked. We shot a few emails back and forth. Talking to her again reignited my interest in her.
I sort of been on a path of self-discovery lately. I'm trying to improve myself and not be such a disconnected *******. I sent a half-hearted apology to her for treating her bad and that I miss her and talking to her. She replied saying she was surprised I said those things and that she still misses me.
I'm currently living in the city where she's going to school so I figured I'd try calling her to see if she'd hang out. I sent her 6 roses, but she was out of town when they came so I'm not sure if she ever got them. I'd text her things about good memories we had so she'd think good things about me. She recommended a favorite restaurant of ours but she'd have to think about it.
Then 2 weeks ago I sent her a ****y text, asking if I should pick her up at 6 or 7 for dinner tomorrow, after asking what she was doing for the weekend. She didn't reply until the next day.
We texted back and fourth throughout the course of the evening and it basically went like this.
Her: I don't know what you want from me.
Me: To see you, I have no expectations I just want to see you again. I've grown up a lot and want to treat you better.
Her: It'll make me sad, why do you want to see me if you expect nothing.
Me: I miss talking to you and want see you.
Her: I can't. We're still the same people how can you be different? It's going to just be the same and I won't be treated like that again. My heart and everything is broken. It felt like I spent 3 years trying to convince you to love me.
Me: I feel like dirt for how I acted. I should of said these things earlier but I wasn't mature enough to say them and I probably couldn't of meant them back then. I realize what a great girl you were and it hurts that I waited this long.
Her: Well I'm sorry you realized it too late but I just can't be treated like that anymore. Seeing you will set me back 10 steps and I just want to move forward.
At the end of the text fest I told her I'd like to be friends if anything. She told me she has too many feelings for me to just be friends. I said I'd like to keep talking regardless.
Couple days later I shot her a text asking how her days going. She didn't reply. I reread the email she sent me a day before I dumped her about what she was upset about. It really broke me down to see how much of an ******* I was. I typed up a pretty heartfelt sincere apology and sent it to her
She never replied to that. Finally I texted her and asked if she got me email. Again no reply.
______________________
Cliffs:
Wasn't the best boyfriend.
Her friends and most of her family dislikes me.
Dumped her after 3 years of dating.
She got in touch with me and resparked my interest.
I may of pushed for meeting up too quickly.
She tells me she can't meet up with me because she's afraid I'm the same person and will treat her the same and she can't deal with that.
She randomly cuts off contact.
______________________
I'm pretty sure her friends are convincing her to not talk to me. I don't think she'd make herself vunerable by telling me she still has feelings, misses me, etc. if she didn't. That or she knows I feel bad and she thinks perhaps not talking to me will drive me crazy as a bit of revenge.
I'm pretty sure my best option at this point is not contact her and let her contact me. I've apologized and let her know that I do feel really bad about how I acted so I think I did all I can.
Background Information:
Dated this girl for 3 years. I was her first sexual partner and she was madly in love with me. I loved her as well but I didn't treat her the best. I'd dump her for a week so I could have sex with other girls and not feel guilty about it (I don't think she knows much of what I did during our breakups), was aloof around her, etc. Basically I was a bad person and she stuck by me.
Roughly 3-4 months ago I dumped her because she was mad about something that I wasn't aware of and she wouldn't talk to me. Eventually she emailed me what she was mad about since I'd often change the subject/cut her off/etc. if she tried to tell me face to face.
_____________
Recent timeline
About a month or so after the breakup she sent me a text here and there saying things like, "this shirt i'm wearing smells like you ". I'd drunk text her back sometimes but she'd never reply.
A couple months later she drunk called me from a concert. I didn't answer but I eventually got an email from her saying that she drunk called me at the show but didn't remember doing it and that she saw a band we liked. We shot a few emails back and forth. Talking to her again reignited my interest in her.
I sort of been on a path of self-discovery lately. I'm trying to improve myself and not be such a disconnected *******. I sent a half-hearted apology to her for treating her bad and that I miss her and talking to her. She replied saying she was surprised I said those things and that she still misses me.
I'm currently living in the city where she's going to school so I figured I'd try calling her to see if she'd hang out. I sent her 6 roses, but she was out of town when they came so I'm not sure if she ever got them. I'd text her things about good memories we had so she'd think good things about me. She recommended a favorite restaurant of ours but she'd have to think about it.
Then 2 weeks ago I sent her a ****y text, asking if I should pick her up at 6 or 7 for dinner tomorrow, after asking what she was doing for the weekend. She didn't reply until the next day.
We texted back and fourth throughout the course of the evening and it basically went like this.
Her: I don't know what you want from me.
Me: To see you, I have no expectations I just want to see you again. I've grown up a lot and want to treat you better.
Her: It'll make me sad, why do you want to see me if you expect nothing.
Me: I miss talking to you and want see you.
Her: I can't. We're still the same people how can you be different? It's going to just be the same and I won't be treated like that again. My heart and everything is broken. It felt like I spent 3 years trying to convince you to love me.
Me: I feel like dirt for how I acted. I should of said these things earlier but I wasn't mature enough to say them and I probably couldn't of meant them back then. I realize what a great girl you were and it hurts that I waited this long.
Her: Well I'm sorry you realized it too late but I just can't be treated like that anymore. Seeing you will set me back 10 steps and I just want to move forward.
At the end of the text fest I told her I'd like to be friends if anything. She told me she has too many feelings for me to just be friends. I said I'd like to keep talking regardless.
Couple days later I shot her a text asking how her days going. She didn't reply. I reread the email she sent me a day before I dumped her about what she was upset about. It really broke me down to see how much of an ******* I was. I typed up a pretty heartfelt sincere apology and sent it to her
She never replied to that. Finally I texted her and asked if she got me email. Again no reply.
______________________
Cliffs:
Wasn't the best boyfriend.
Her friends and most of her family dislikes me.
Dumped her after 3 years of dating.
She got in touch with me and resparked my interest.
I may of pushed for meeting up too quickly.
She tells me she can't meet up with me because she's afraid I'm the same person and will treat her the same and she can't deal with that.
She randomly cuts off contact.
______________________
I'm pretty sure her friends are convincing her to not talk to me. I don't think she'd make herself vunerable by telling me she still has feelings, misses me, etc. if she didn't. That or she knows I feel bad and she thinks perhaps not talking to me will drive me crazy as a bit of revenge.
I'm pretty sure my best option at this point is not contact her and let her contact me. I've apologized and let her know that I do feel really bad about how I acted so I think I did all I can.
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