ex gf question....

[cmr662]

okay this might sound like a stupid question to some, but im confident true dj's will understand why i asked this question. first off, let me explain my situation. i started hanging out with this chick that i didnt really care for (HB8) but she was all over me. i let her know i didnt really want anything serious and she pursued me more. she started telling me she was in love with me and always wanted to see me. eventually i started feeling the same way and then i guess once i wasnt a challenge anymore she broke it off after about 4 or 5 months(this has happened to everyone right?).

this has all happened within the past month. we have had contact a few times a week and a couple times shes shown some interest but i want to gain the control back. im going to go with the no contact method that ive read about here where i just basically stay away from all contact for a week or two and see what happens. here is my question though:

we are both in college and we both have cable internet in which we leave our aol instant messenger up at all times. i know for a fact that she checks mine when i put up an away message (at least, she used to, im sure she still does). since im not contacting her and hoping her IL raises to its previous point since it seems i dont need her anymore, should i not make myself available on AIM? what should my away messages say to get her missing me? should they say things like "out on a date with a chick", or say something simple like "im busy"? i dont want her to think im trying to make her jealous, but i do want her to come back with raised IL. should i block her name so she never sees me on and wonders what im doing?

i know this may sound silly, but im trying to cover all angles during this process of getting this chick to come back drooling like she did at first. if im going to do this, i need to do it right. thanks in advance guys.

 

[Diggs]

Just go on with your life, and if something happens it happens. Dont force anything. It will drive you insane. Your best be is to move on, but dont totally snub her out of your life. Let her know you can get along without her.

 

[DankNuggs]

Don't play that game, go on with your life...Don't try to win her back, try to move on, who knows what will happen, just make sure you keep moving your life forward for the better...

 

[NewMan]

I agree - don't pretend to go on dates - go on dates.

Have fun, keep busy, then you will not have to worry about it.

 

[CLOONEY]

U were posting about this same girl before, no?

Advice here is perfect. Especially from NewMan, dont PRETEND to go on dates - go on dates.

 

[cmr662]

yeah i was posting about this same girl before. i know most of you are pretty much telling me to move on and forget about it. BUT..... i am not one of these guys thinking "im never going to be able to get another chick in my life!! etc etc." the reason i want her back is because honestly, i guess i am too picky. i can get alot of chicks and i know that, but none that i actually feel like hanging around more than a few days. i did my share of sleeping around my first couple years of college and i finally settled down with a chick who i was very interested in. she was extremely hot and we had a ton of stuff in common. there are not too many other girls around that i know that i feel are nearly as cool and attractive than she is. so my reason for wanting her back isnt that i cant get another chick, its that i am too picky. and it doesnt matter if you guys say to lower my standards a little bit. if im not attracted to a chick, im not going to be attracted to her no matter if shes the last chick on earth. any help to get her IL back up is greatly wanted and appreciated. thanks bros.

 

[NewMan]

Your making excuses for your actions.

It's called One-I-Tis.


I don't care how great you think she is - there are others out there.

you don't need her to validate yourself - so don't.

The best thing to do is to go about your life.

Remember - just because your dating someone it doesn't mean that your going to get hitched to her.

So date a few girls - this will take your mind off of the ex. There will then be no need to pretend to be a challenge - by your actions you will be a challenge.

 

[CLOONEY]

There is NO WAY to magically get her IL back up!!! U have to realise this!!

The only way is to truly move on with your life. Dont pretend to do it - do it!

The chances u can get her IL back up is about zero! But this is your only chance.

I know what its like to be you, I date many many many beautiful girls and sleep or slept around with my fair share also. BUT, they just dont do it for me. I need the chemistry also. But u have to find one who is really interested in you, who doesnt just want "space". Who knows if u give her the space and move on with your life, she might realise she just lost you and then want u back. Anything else u do will just push her further away!!