EX gf is back in the picture somewhat and I want her again

[aix237]

She's not treating me badly she's just not doing her what I want her to do. So I have to manipulate the situation. Tell many how many times its going to work out of 10 in this situation when a girl has reservations that you've had a past with and is scared because she doesn't know what to do. Im going to make her do what I want which is for her to chase me and lead her into pushing for a relationship. What's the harm in that?

 

[DJArlington]

i guess at the end of the day you aren't going to listen to anyone on this site. but i guess if she is your one and only screw it, go for it man. but don't blame us when things get wishy washy. you already dumped her once. from my experience a woman may say they still want you, they may even bone you (remember you are safe to her because she knows you), but once they find a better guy or some schmuck you will get your heart smashed out of the blue. use your head and reasonable judgment.

 

[aix237]

So a girl is not interested the slightest when she answers calls bchills all day and night with u, fvck all the time, say they love u, kiss u affectionately? Yea she doesn't call right now she jusr needs a kick in the azz. When we started hanging with each other a couple of years ago I would hang with her, sleep, fvck etc. And did not want a relationship with her. But I still hanged cause I liked her company. Then boom find out she fvcked some other dude. I was like fvck I guess I like u now. Why can't I do the same. It was funny cause she said ha knew that would do the trick. So why wouldn't it work on her. Sometimes u don't realize sh1t until u get slapped in the face

 

[jophil28]

She says she's changed... well, let me tell you, unless and until you see the changed behavior when she's under those circumstances and see that new behavior CONSISTENTLY over TIME, and lots of time, then it's easy for people to say they've changed but then resort to past behaviors that have been ingrained in them for YEARS.

THat is exactly right...

It is often said here " believe her actions " ...well,. this is not complete advice. It should be ," Believe her actions over a period of time, and look for patterns of behavior as the true indicators..
WE all have a SOP which will show up as consistent behavior.

For example, I had a G/f once who was habitually late for dates. I told her to call me if she was going to be ten minutes late or more. She promised up and down to do that and then, a week later she started to turn up about a half hour late again,and again and again. I dumped her .

Her "personal " pattern revealed itself in spite of her promise and a few febble attempts to be more punctual.

 

[jophil28]

since she contacted you after some time apart, she definitely wants to be in touch in some way...the issue is, however, that she is currently with someone...that she doesn't want to hurt...

she needs to be given the space to think about the situation that she's in and figure out what she wants to do with this guy before running to you...

i'm really glad that she contacted you and that you guys are hopefully going to work things out..

i would take it slow and make sure that you respond to her when she contacts you...but i wouldn't start the chasing game quite yet....it's not there, so don't rush it...

she's still in a confused state and misses you and wants to be back with you, just give it some time, and it will work itself out. make sure you sit down with her and communicate about how you feel..it's really hard for guys to do, but girls can't understand you guys unless you verbalize what it is you're feeling. we can't read you... best of luck!

THis is exactly the advice a TYPICAL WOMAN would give a guy.

"be patient" .. "she is confused ".. "it will work itself out ". "communicate how you feel "...

all these little gems are designed to hand her the prize position and pedestalize HER (she gets control) and turn the guy into a panting, obedient littkle puppy waiting to be loved at the whim of some screwball femme.

Thanks Procanto - your post is a great reinforcer of our belief that a man should never take relationship advice from another woman.
PLease stay around and post often.. Your mindset is what we need to hear so that we can be reminded of what NOT to do.

 

[SoCalMike]

Women are never confused.

Give them more credit then that.

They know EXACTLY what they're doing.

"Confused" is either what they tell you they are (to keep you in a fog), or what the clueless guy rationalizes they must be.

This is true. A better word/phrase to describe his girls behaviour would be "indecisive" or "fickle" or "stringing him along".

 

[J Roc]

some men enjoy being AFC. smh

 

[mrRuckus]

There's 8 gagillion women in the world and you want to talk about the one you haven't seen in two years in who does these things:

1. She had jealous friends that were doing drugs and just partied way too hard and she was out of control - problem gone cause she has a way different set of friends now.
2. Stressed out about getting her masters degree - graduated and has a job shes happy with.

Why is she any better now? She just does whatever her friends do?

She can't handle the OHhhHHhhhHHH so tough act of getting a master's without getting stressed out? Oh boo hoo on her. Did she even do it while working a full time job? Nearly all my co-workers and many of my friends have some sort of technical masters they got while working. They aren't very stressed getting these things. They aren't dumping their girlfriends because they have to go to school. Sheesh. Yeah i say technical masters because women don't get those. They get fluffy easy ones in like education or an MBA. Or maybe it's the ever stressful english masters.

You have work to do.

 

[decades]

this is going to turn out worse than Lehman Brothers.

 

[sodbuster]

MY EYES HURT! Since the O.P. doesn't want to believe us, let me give him some other advice. Improve yourself, learn the difference between texting and typing. 90% of your bosses will be my age [49] or older. When I'm sorting through 50 applications for 1 job, I look for reasons to eliminate as many as possible, as fast as possible[kind of like how a hot chick does it]. Can't remember proper English?Gone. Can't mail it in like instructed and try to e-mail? Gone[IF I WANTED an e-mail,I'd have asked for it][If you can't follow WRITTEN instructions,not interested]. Can't spell or use a dictionary? Gone

So far, you've nailed all 3. Don't want to listen,Can't spell,can't tell the difference between text and typing. I'm not sure I want to waste my time training you for the job[of being a man]. Just because you've "fvcked" doesn't make you a man, My dog has fvcked, he'll never be a man

 

[womann]

sorry i dont have much information about it but i will try and than give some information about it... THanks..

 

[DJArlington]

Would an interested woman risk losing the man she wants by not keeping in touch with him?

Would an interested woman fvck another man?

Would an interested woman need a kick in the azz?

Get some balls man and walk away. If she wants you, she will find a way. Otherwise, you're wasting your time and you will get hurt.

Dude - what is going on with the situation ? have you heard from her? keep us updated bro.

 

[aix237]

Yea no contact yet. Haven't tried yet. im not goign to call atleast till sunday. She will expect me to call fri or sat. I won't and shell wonder be worried. I expect a call late sat night. If she doesn't call ill call her sun evening. Guarantee she answers at the least ill figure it out later but ill let u know.

 

[KontrollerX]

"this is going to turn out worse than Lehman Brothers."

Damn, you've been knockin em out of the park lately PE!!! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

"MY EYES HURT! Since the O.P. doesn't want to believe us, let me give him some other advice. Improve yourself, learn the difference between texting and typing. 90% of your bosses will be my age [49] or older. When I'm sorting through 50 applications for 1 job, I look for reasons to eliminate as many as possible, as fast as possible[kind of like how a hot chick does it]. Can't remember proper English?Gone. Can't mail it in like instructed and try to e-mail? Gone[IF I WANTED an e-mail,I'd have asked for it][If you can't follow WRITTEN instructions,not interested]. Can't spell or use a dictionary? Gone

So far, you've nailed all 3. Don't want to listen,Can't spell,can't tell the difference between text and typing. I'm not sure I want to waste my time training you for the job[of being a man]. Just because you've "fvcked" doesn't make you a man, My dog has fvcked, he'll never be a man"

Give this man a standing fvckin ovation!

Wow, what a post.

So very brutal, so very true. :yes: :rock:

 

[Truman181]

I'll admit I haven't read your whole thread aix so I don't know exactly what your situation is but I do have a few thoughts about ex gfs.

Awhile back I was in the BEST relationship I've ever been in. I thought it was the most perfect thing imaginable. And then I lost it somehow...and I never did quite figure out how...

I mean, I don't feel I did one damn thing wrong. And I felt that when we were together, it was incredible.

But for some reason she changed on me...

Then nothing I could do was right...

She pushed me away for good...

And I was shattered...

I've spent so much time WISHING she would come back. Hell, I even begged her a few times...I wanted her back so badly.

But now that time has passed, I have had time to take a step back and objectively look at the situation. I've OWNED UP to the fact that it was her fault (instead of faulting myself constantly).

And so I wrote down a list of everything that SHE did wrong in the relationship that pushed me away. And I've told myself, if she ever comes back to me and wants to try again, she'll have to "make amends" to me on every single count I have against her.

Of course, that will never happen.

However, the moral of my story is that I have CRITERIA that must first be met if my ex ever came back. There will be no "get out of jail free card" for her.

I think you should think along those terms..

 

[aix237]

Attraction is there there wouldn't be any affection or fvcking if there wasn't. Its the question have having a relationship. Im apprehensive myself but willing to give it another shot. Just taking it real slow and casual.
My main criteria is no drama that's about it. If u think this is drama now its wrong. Peopele like each other because of attraction switches getting hit its not just natural. We are attracted no doubt about it. Starting an ltr is a different story.

 

[Truman181]

My main criteria is no drama that's about it. If u think this is drama now its wrong. Peopele like each other because of attraction switches getting hit its not just natural. We are attracted no doubt about it. Starting an ltr is a different story.

That's your only criteria???

I suppose that is good criteria to have....hmmm

I think that "no drama" is good initial criteria to have going into to ANY relationship...

Anyway, as I said I haven't read your thread so I don't know the details of why things didn't work out. Only you would know why it ended and where the fault truly lies. Only you can no what is worth compromising on.

 

[aix237]

The first time we went through months before getting together. It satrted off as her calling me during the weekeneds and we hang out all weekened. I would not vall her all week then I would get a call fri night or sat morning. Then we started fvcked. And started sleeping together almost everynight. This went on for like 2 She would always initiate. Then she would not call here and there. Called her rarely. We were just friends and some bs s came about. I walked away multiple times in the friend stage. She wouldb call to fix it. Basically when I didn't like something I walked away and she would come back or I would. Differnt situation now cause we know each other. But I think the same principles apply attraction wise. No way is this chick going to drop me considering I ilive up the street and comfortable up the street and fvk even broke her bed. Haha.
Dudes who she deals with from what I've seen are below me in many ways. If she doesn't want it she's a fool.

 

[aix237]

Well here is what happened yesterday. Didn't talk the whole week. Yesterday I went to a company golf tourney. They grouped us with clients. So it ended up this dude I went to college with a couple of years ago was in my group. He knew my ex they were or are good friends I guess. Anyways we start talkin about her. Then he says lets call her. I give him my phone and he leaves a message tells her its a small world etc. No call back. That was at 4. Then I go out at night. At 1130 I get a text from her saying what are u up to hunny? I reply 30 minutes later and say call u later. Called hour later but no answer didn't leave a message. Well probably talk here in about a hour or so. Maybe go chill by the pool dunno.

 

[aix237]

Well im hanging out with her at the pool right now