Ex GF hanging out with good friend

[Powerofmindset]

No I wouldn't. But in the last text it was an observation because he "didnt know where this is coming from" so i told him. Still dont care if they hang out. But seriously...if your friend came to you and said what I did...would anyone here be so upset about it that you dont talk to your friend? That seems extremely childish and makes me believe that was his true intention all along. I get hes an orbiter...but I was more worried in what she's doing and my friend with a lack of options and blue pill mindset would easily give in and regret it later.

 

[amoka]

This is really funny considering:
1. Your roommate has known this lady much longer than you have known her and if he wanted to screw her, he would have done so long time ago.
2. Whatsoever relationship the two of them have, it is clearly much stronger than the friendship you have developed with your roommate over the past couple of years.
3. You dumped her. It is finished. It is up to her what she wants to do after you. Jealousy will only destroy you.

 

[backbreaker]

i guess im' the only one that finds it ****ing rediclouse to have a guy tell me who i can't be friends with

imagine you have a female in your life that you've known for a decade. you've kicked it with her. you aren't attracted to her like that for whatever the reason may be. this is not the thread to have a debate over if women can or cannot be friends, the OP even said it himself

My roommate has known her for over 10 years. He isnt interested.

okay than one day my friend starts to date my female friend. good for him i hope he's happy with her

then they break up and then my dude friend comes to me and says

me: Just want to let you know I don't feel comfortable with you and EX hanging out and dating or fooling around. And if you want to date her and fool around with her then that will compromise our friendship.

first of all, i'd be pretty pissed off if we were really good friends if he thought i would even do something like that in the first place

but secondly, who the **** are you to retroactivily tell me who i can and cannot be friends with? you just going to date every female i ever met and tell me after you break up with them that i can't be friends with them? **** you i don't want to be friends with YOU,. you should have thought about your butthurt feelings and the caldaroal damage of what could happen if you broke up with a girl that I have known for a deacade before you put your **** in her.


This **** pisses me off to no end. Bros before hoes.. guys dont' understand how this works. it also means that you think about your bro friends before you put your **** in a woman. am i ****ing someone or about to date someone that can put me in a bad siuttation if things with south? you didn't give one ****ing thought about this, and then when you break up with her you go around throwing your **** around telling people who they can't be friends with. i'd tell you to kiss my black ass.


YOU are hte ****ing problem. not your ex. not your friend. you are hte one with the jealous insecurity issues and you need to get over it or else your'e going to lose a friend.

 

[backbreaker]

Danger are you listening? the op even said him self that HE'S NOT DATING HER. he said his friend isn't even interested in her

he is literally mad because his friend is hanging out with his ex, who he happens to have been friends with for a decade with before he dated her.

i could understand if the dude did not know her before the OP dated her and met her through him. But ****, from the way I understand it the OP met the girl THROUGH THE FRIEND. how the hell are you going to tell him that he can't hang out with her if i knew her before you did? i don't undrestand how everyone doesn't understand this simple concept. ]


point being, she was the dude's FRIEND for a decade before she was the OP's GF.


like my female friend I get slack over, say one of my guy friends started to date her and then broke up with her. then came to me and told me that i could nto hang out with her anymore even though we've been hanging out every once in a while for 5-6 months now. i'd tell him to suck a ****. you could call me a "bad friend" all oyu want but no one told you to date afriend of mine in the first place.


I would not have put my friend in the position he is in to even have to make this type of decision.. his female friend of a decade or his male friend of a decade.. because i would not date girls in my inner circle but that's just how i roll.

 

[cordoncordon]

Some of you guys (like backbreaker) are confusing the story. OP has a roommate who knew this girl for ten years. Girl came around. OP and a different guy, a friend who did NOT KNOW THE GIRL, got to know this new girl via the roommate. Girl showed no interest in either the roommate or the friend, but did show IL in OP. OP and girl date for almost two years. OP and girl break up. Friend (NOT ROOMATE) (and who has known girl the same amount of time as OP) and girl start to hang out. THAT is the story.

And yeah, I would pretty fawking pissed off if a good friend of mine started hanging out with a VERY recent ex of mine. Now if it was an ex from years before? Fine. Have at it even though I still would consider it strange. But an ex from just a month or two ago? When he didn't know her at all before I knew her? Not cool. Not good. And something that friends do not do to one another. And cmon lol. Going to a Miley Cyrus concert??? No guy goes to one of her concerts unless he is trying to get into a girls pants or he is gay. So assuming this guy isn't gay, we know where his motives lay.

Either you guys are confusing the friend for the roommate, or imo some of you are really really off base here. No way this is proper bro etiquette. Ex's, especially recent ones and especially ones where your bro dated them for an extended period of time like the example here, are OFF LIMITS. Period.

 

[backbreaker]

if that is the case the OP did not do a clear job of explaining there were 2 roommates or else I Just suck lol.

if that is the case yeah that dude can go die in a fire. i get that. i thought you were saying you were mad because the dude wanted to hang out with a girl that he had already known before you dated.

 

[cordoncordon]

if that is the case the OP did not do a clear job of explaining there were 2 roommates or else I Just suck lol.

if that is the case yeah that dude can go die in a fire. i get that. i thought you were saying you were mad because the dude wanted to hang out with a girl that he had already known before you dated.

I was a little confused at first myself because I assumed the friend now hanging out with the girl was the roommate. But they are two different people.

 

[amoka]

I agree with backbreaker. I, and many others, thought that OP was referring to the ONE roommate that is friend with the girl.

 

[Powerofmindset]

Roommate introduced girl to social circle. We will call him Dave. Who ive know for 8-9 years.

Good friend and I met her at same time. His name will be Jeff. Who ive known for 8 years.

2 totally different ppl. If I could edit the original post I would.

I have a problem with a friend dating any of my ex girlfriends. I have no problem with my friends wanting to be friends with my ex girlfriends...as long as thats where it ends. If they randomly met out somewhere and had no idea who one another is I wouldnt have a problem with it as I see no wrongdoing intentions from either party. To me...hes mad because I made a correct observation and try to intimidate me in order to focus the problem elsewhere. I finally got to talk to him face to face and he still seemed pissed. I told him what her intentions were from thr beginning since he "didnt know where this is coming from". Its coming from my own 2 eyes. If she willingly spread her legs for him without any effort really on him...would he have done it? Quick answer: yes. If my good friend came to me and said what I did I would want to make him sure thats not me and not what me hanging out with her is about...and prolly call him a Dumbass jokingly and left it at that.....instead he doesnt speak to me for days and when I finally speak to him hes still pissed and still doesnt "get" it. Im baffled by this...to the point where the only logical explanation is i was right.

 

[cordoncordon]

Roommate introduced girl to social circle. We will call him Dave. Who ive know for 8-9 years.

Good friend and I met her at same time. His name will be Jeff. Who ive known for 8 years.

2 totally different ppl. If I could edit the original post I would.

I have a problem with a friend dating any of my ex girlfriends. I have no problem with my friends wanting to be friends with my ex girlfriends...as long as thats where it ends. If they randomly met out somewhere and had no idea who one another is I wouldnt have a problem with it as I see no wrongdoing intentions from either party. To me...hes mad because I made a correct observation and try to intimidate me in order to focus the problem elsewhere. I finally got to talk to him face to face and he still seemed pissed. I told him what her intentions were from thr beginning since he "didnt know where this is coming from". Its coming from my own 2 eyes. If she willingly spread her legs for him without any effort really on him...would he have done it? Quick answer: yes. If my good friend came to me and said what I did I would want to make him sure thats not me and not what me hanging out with her is about...and prolly call him a Dumbass jokingly and left it at that.....instead he doesnt speak to me for days and when I finally speak to him hes still pissed and still doesnt "get" it. Im baffled by this...to the point where the only logical explanation is i was right.

Remove him from your circle of friends. He is not a true friend to you.

End of story.

 

[SgtSplacker]

This is a tough thing to ponder in a right/wrong scenario. So i'm going to work it out right here in this posting.

So lets get over the fact that if you meet a girl first, she takes on some aspects of being your property but only when it comes to your friends. In the sense that you should get the first opportunities with her at the very least. And your friends being friends must support this for the group to remain cohesive. So can we say that friendship is a requirement for virtual pusssy claims to exist?

First thing that should be said is that by staking "claim" to a woman you are also obligated to defend your claim" as with anything else claimed. And someone jumping in front of you is a claim jumper and should be dealt with. To add some validity/consequence to all this virtual BS the apex punishment is going to be physical. So these things need to be observed first to maintain friendship and order, second to avoid physical confrontation.

And of course the woman's intentions take precedence over all these things... those damn restraining orders ruined everything for us meat heads lel...

But the point is that a very important part of this is that you must hold the females intentions. Since it's a floating investment you have to take advantage when you get the chance. No slipping, no rain checks, were not getting any younger here. You strike when the irons hot or lose your chances completely. You can lose your claim due to abandonment! So if you are dating this girl and she is not interested in you anymore and breaks it off the claim is nullified due to her intentions! If you break it off the claim is nullified due to abandonment.

Moving along...

So we can deduce that friendship is a requirement to a pusssy claim that has not been abandoned, so terminating friendship effectively cancels an active claim. Since the claim does not exist to anyone outside your circle of friends.

So all that's left is the physical consequences now. If you are at this point the friendship is cancelled by the physical actions themselves. And because the female is probably not interested at this point. AND due to abandonment (if your fighting you're not fuucking). But it just doesn't make sense to fight over a virtual claim to nothing at this point that practically nobody else in the world observes now does it?

So after the friendship is over the beating is categorized under the "You're really pissing me off right now" fight rules not the "friendship respect" rules. It's not fair, it's not right but you're going to do it anyway. You are NOT in the right, you are just butt hurt. There is no virtue to your actions right now. It's a fight with no prize besides the possibility of victory itself and pride. I have seen fights start for less...

So basically a puuussy claim is a short term agreement only between your current friends pending immediate action and activity on your part. Enforced by you physically to your very own friends. For someone that has no idea whats going on right now.

 

[dasein]

I would ditch the friend pronto. He will disappoint you in other ways in time if you keep him around. It's simple common sense not to be hanging around with friends' exes after a breakup. I'd get both of them out of your life and cultivate better quality friends going forward. Good luck.

 

[Powerofmindset]

Went on a bar crawl yesterday. Jeff and 5 of his bike club friends went with our group. The whole time im there I can see Jeff pointing at me and talking ****...but I dont acknowledge it. I see his friend put his arm around said ex gf all the time after that looking at me....but I dont acknowledge that. I know what they were trying to do...im seeing this all in thr corner of my eye. So I made friends with everyone instead. Then while Jeff is next to me, the guy who Jeff was talking to before pulls out brass knuckles and takes his belt off to attach it around his arm. Hes asking Jeff if he should and I told him to "do it...free reign...hit me." Hes like "oh yeah? Free reign". I tell him to do it. And he looks at Jeff and Jeff shrugs his shoulders. Then he puts it away. I found it funny...and crazy that it has to go this far lol.

 

[G_Govan]

I think it's rather simple, he's not a friend, consider him an "associate."

I stopped communicating with a couple life long friends because of jealousy issues. That's where you separate the wheat from the chaff. If your friends allow puzzy to influence the way they behave around you or take up your sloppy seconds on the sly they get demoted.

I never had a discussion about this with said close friends, we just don't really talk any more.

I have only a few close friends, and this has come up with nearly all of them. EVERY ONE of us has had an opportunity to fvk or date another's ex, and we always talked it about it first as friends.

This is what men do.

It doesn't mean I control who my friends have sex with, but having the discussion is all about respect. Leave that free-for-all sh-t for dysfunctional women who compete with and back-stab each other over men.

Women have the cushion of a feminized society to rely on. All us men have is honor among each other.

 

[backbreaker]

holy **** dude. you need to next your entire group of friends. what a bunch of kids.

and the girl playing along with it. and you dated this girl lol.

find a new crew to hang with thats' about some real life ****

 

[Powerofmindset]

I agree with all thats being said here. Im moving back home with my parents for a moment until I find myself a place...maybe save up a few bucks for a couple months while there. Coincidentally...while at the pub crawl I met up with a childhood friend...who is literally my best friend and is a good person in general. Havent seen him in about 3 years.