Ex GF hanging out with good friend

[Powerofmindset]

I'm 27, she's 23.

We dated for a year and 10 months. I broke up with her the end of January (beginning of March now). My roommate has known her for over 10 years and brought her over one day. Said friend hung out with her a couple times, never made a move, and she was never attracted to him. She took a liking to me and thus the relationship. They hung out a couple times 1 on 1 while we were dating which I never cared. When I broke up with her, now she is hanging out with him very frequently. He is even going to a Miley Cirus (sp?) concert with her tonight.

Said friend and I are good friends and the past few weeks I haven't heard much from him and was told about them hanging out through other people like my roommate. Shady, is it not? I mean...if you tell other people, but not me...i feel you are hiding something! My Blue Pill friends thinks this is normal behavior. I feel alone on the subject and I feel like I know what is going on but they seem to put me down in the ways I think. This is how our conversation went today:

me: Just want to let you know I don't feel comfortable with you and EX hanging out and dating or fooling around. And if you want to date her and fool around with her then that will compromise our friendship.

him: Idk where you are getting your facts from...and this is the last thing I expected coming from you. I'm a good friend to you and your sitting over there thinking about how I'm getting at your EX?

me: You're going to do what you are going to do, I Just wanted to let you know how I felt about the situation. A whole sea of people to hang out with, including myself, yet you seem to be hanging out with her pretty frequently. Just going off your actions.


That's it. I'd like to know what you guys think about this. I'll be happy to answer any questions.

 

[backbreaker]

lol you don't get it

see in his blue pill mind, YOU MOVED IN ON HIS GIRl

I GOT to tell you in my AFC days i would have done exactly what he is doing now. beucse in his mind he brought her around you, he stakes his claim and hopefully now that she saw that you weren't cracked upt o be everything she will see how much of a catch he is.

but you can't get mad at him beucase he was friends well before you met her. and she's probably doing it just so it gets back to you, but still you can't do **** about it. you dug this hole. this is why you date outside the social circle. **** gets too messy and bonds get broken

the fact it is, he wanted the broad. you knew good and god damn well he wanted her and you made a move on her and it worked. he's been passive agressive ABOUT it all but now he's going to try to get her back beucse in his mind, she was his to begin with

 

[Powerofmindset]

My roommate has known her for over 10 years. He isnt interested.

Said good friend and I knew her for the same amount of time.

However, said good friend tried to move in and failed a week or 2 she came to like me.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Power of Mind,
If she is your Ex,why does it matter?You are both free agents!

 

[El Suave]

She's not your girlfriend anymore. You had your turn, dumped her and now let him get with her. It wouldn't even faze you if you had other girls.

Go spin some plates and don't ruin a friendship over some chick.

 

[Powerofmindset]

I wouldn't want any of my good friends to have sex and date my ex gfs. Even ex gfs that im over. There are billions of other women...why move in on an ex?

 

[Tiguere]

Hey power this isnt the 1950s. Move on and stop acting like a lil b.tch.... Youre lonely and acting selfish.... If you had girls you wouldn't be in this predicament.

Give him your blessings.

Call him backband apologize for your immaturity

 

[Powerofmindset]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/archive/index.php/t-174103.html

Found this gem on the archives


Also, ive been dating other girls. It isnt about the girl, it about my good friend.

 

[zekko]

I really feel that if the girl is an ex then it shouldn't be an issue. You have no claim on her.

 

[donking]

i would defriend him. find new people.

 

[speed dawg]

I don't see the issue here at all.

You dumped her, so you shouldn't care about her. Your friend is just an orbiter. Don't get mad at him and get him working against you. Be bigger than that. Recognize him for what he is. I definitely would not trust him and spend a whole lot of time with him.

 

[Powerofmindset]

If I would hear him tell me plans like the rest of my friends instead of hiding it i wouldn't care...but it all seems shady. I hear what they do from my roommate. Why is he telling everyone about his plans but me? Its not here or there he doesnt tell me, it always. I see and inquire about his life like we all do when you are friends.

Hes extremely passed off at me saying that I am telling him he cant hang out with her as friends...which if you read the text messages I never even said that. Hanging out AND ****ing around.

I dont care about what she does other than trying to ruin a friendship. If he wanted to date her all he would have to do is come to me and tell me out of respect of us being good friends. I thought it is common sense but if it was so common everyone would have it.

If youre hiding it than you must believe you are doing something wrong!

 

[zekko]

If I would hear him tell me plans like the rest of my friends instead of hiding it i wouldn't care...but it all seems shady. I hear what they do from my roommate. Why is he telling everyone about his plans but me? Its not here or there he doesnt tell me, it always. I see and inquire about his life like we all do when you are friends.

Obviously you have a problem with him seeing her because you told him:
"Just want to let you know I don't feel comfortable with you and EX hanging out and dating or fooling around. And if you want to date her and fool around with her then that will compromise our friendship."

That's why he hasn't been openly telling you his plans, it's because he knows you are uncomfortable with it. It's an awkward situation. People are going to do what they're going to do, you can't control them. Pick your battles. Why do care if he sees this chick?

 

[Powerofmindset]

I dont...but if your my good friend why not just come out with it instead of hiding it? He never knew where I stood with it until yesterday.

Its about the friendship and respect

This isnt a guy I see once in a while...month or so ago we hang out a few times a week. I see him often. I even told him that he is the best friend I have in this social circle and appreciate his friendship.

If he wanted to be just friends with her like he said then he would be indifferent to what I told him I felt uncomfortable with. He would just be a good friend and laugh and say dont worry bro!

 

[donking]

You need new friends. I hate worrying about other people's character. Cut bait and run.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Mindset,
You've known this Palooka for ten years,you're mates,he probably thinks of her as a mate too,might even be puzzled about the thoughts in your head...Don't be Childish,just keep out of their way for a while,find new Women,a mate that goes back like that,will be very much appreciated when you are old and grey

 

[Powerofmindset]

He doesn't want to speak to me. I suppose I was a bad judgement of character over the past 7 years and will put this social circle as all aquantinces and find myself some new friends.

I apologized via text...saying i was sorry for the misunderstanding and i never wanted them to not be friends....because of him not wanting to meet up or anything.

 

[AAAgent]

I agree & disagree with parts of what has been said.

Yes you are both available and single. You're both free to do whatever you want. Your friend is allowed to date her and it technically isn't morally wrong to do so.

But only sh1tty friends hop on a mates ex right after the rebound. Just a d1ck move to make.

Cut negative people out of your life. You'll see that they probably don't care if you do. Some guys just value pvssy too much and can't make rational decisions. You don't need guys like that in your life as it will only cause drama in the future. I lost my best friend of 12 years because his girlfriend (now fiance soon to be married), didn't want him talking to me anymore.

 

[Powerofmindset]

I agree & disagree with parts of what has been said.

Yes you are both available and single. You're both free to do whatever you want. Your friend is allowed to date her and it technically isn't morally wrong to do so.

But only sh1tty friends hop on a mates ex right after the rebound. Just a d1ck move to make.

Cut negative people out of your life. You'll see that they probably don't care if you do. Some guys just value pvssy too much and can't make rational decisions. You don't need guys like that in your life as it will only cause drama in the future. I lost my best friend of 12 years because his girlfriend (now fiance soon to be married), didn't want him talking to me anymore.

Maybe I could have said something differently before he made a mistake...but saying anything would have lead me to this end game still. Thats what it was all about...our friendship and I agree they are free to do whatever...but it is bad character for my good friend to do that. I know what I was trying to do. She admitted in text message that she only talked to him to get back with me. Id love to show him that text and tell everyone I was right all along...cuz when I said that to them before coming on here they thought I was full of myself...but I know 2 wrongs dont make a right.

 

[sharonblay]

Well if he is your friend and is trying to get into your ex gf thats liable for the friendship cut in my eyes. To be honest, he should have said something to you about it. If it was the other way around would you be hanging out with his ex?