Ex-gf attention whoring?

[green69]

So I got home last night and saw one of my ex's posted on my wall, saying "hey sexy! are you gonna go to blah blah" which is a mutual friends gathering this weekend at a pub. I have not made contact with her in almost 2 years, though it's not like we were on bad terms or anything - we just moved on. She had a boyfriend for about a year or so I think, although when I checked her profile a few months ago I don't really see any mention of him anymore.

Is she looking for a hookup or is this just trying to get an ego-boost/validation to see if I still want her? Is it worth going to this event? I was undecided before and I am now still. Obviously I don't expect anyone to be sure either way, but any experience or advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

 

[bish0p]

Um, why do you care? She's your ex for a reason. Forget her and go to the event if you want.

 

[green69]

Cuz I want to get laid...

 

[perseverance]

Cuz I want to get laid...

Then go and get laid, try it on with her and see whether or not she is attention whoring. How are we on the Internet supposed to know what she's doing? I agree with Bish0p, I cut exes off and avoid them at all costs.

 

[green69]

Okay so something came up and I didn't go to the event. I heard through our mutual friend that she was in the hospital for a few days with a really bad fever. Everything is fine now she's okay, but I sent her a little message on FB to make sure sure was doing alright (nothing flirty) with a youtube video I thought we'd both like.

She messaged back exactly 7 days later saying she LOVED the video, and along with some mild flirting said it was too bad we didn't get a chance to catch up a few weeks ago etc.

One of my friends suggested I should go for a hook up, which I am definitely down for. But not sure how to word it/not make it obvious that I am trying to get sex but at the same time let her know I don't want to hangout and reminisce over coffee. My friend said I should just straight up say we should "hook up for some drinks" but I'm not sure if that's the best way to word things...or if I should even bother. Not sure what to do...

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

The girl messaged you back 7 days later. She ain't interested playboy. She wants her ego stroked.

 

[oscarkool]

The girl messaged you back 7 days later. She ain't interested playboy. She wants her ego stroked.

Not entirely true, girls simply have options and she's playing the field. Can't hate on her for that as I can relate. If you're seeing 5+ women, you don't have time to get back to them all the time and yes, it can take 7 days sometimes. It happens.

Honestly, the best advice that everyone hears but nobody follows to get a girl back in your bed that pushed you away is to simply fall off the face of the earth. Don't facebook them, don't text them, don't talk to them until they reach out to you. You're not necessarily doing NC (because NC just sounds like a game to me), but you're simply not the one putting forth effort. You're showing that you don't need them and that you're able to walk away no problem at all - this is HUGE for getting a girl back and it's equally important to take this position from the VERY beginning of a relationship (so for the future, remember that and you'll never have problems with women pushing you away).

You're posting youtube vids on her wall which is extremely lame. At best, you should have thrown a text that read 'Heard you were in the hospital. Hope everything is ok.' and just left it at that.

I have a tendency to make my ex's re-fall in love with me over and over again and I do it simply through discipline. If they want space, I give them the galaxy. If I sleep with them, I don't go texting her the next day saying how great of a night it was (which is what every guy does). I make these girls come to me - drive to my place, pick me up from somewhere, take me out, etc.

Basically what I'm getting at here is that when you're trying to hook up with past flings, the way to do it is to put in absolutely zero effort other than simply, short replies to her texts. I don't even reply to facebook wall posts. I leave them there so other girls can see that I've got girls chasing me and the fact that I don't reply shows that I'm 'busy'. Call it a game or whatever, but when it comes down to it, women that pushed you away did so because you lost your strength/firmness aka you got soft. Show strength through lack of investment in them. That's key. Works every time for me.

 

[sstype]

Not entirely true, girls simply have options and she's playing the field. Can't hate on her for that as I can relate. If you're seeing 5+ women, you don't have time to get back to them all the time and yes, it can take 7 days sometimes. It happens.

Honestly, the best advice that everyone hears but nobody follows to get a girl back in your bed that pushed you away is to simply fall off the face of the earth. Don't facebook them, don't text them, don't talk to them until they reach out to you. You're not necessarily doing NC (because NC just sounds like a game to me), but you're simply not the one putting forth effort. You're showing that you don't need them and that you're able to walk away no problem at all - this is HUGE for getting a girl back and it's equally important to take this position from the VERY beginning of a relationship (so for the future, remember that and you'll never have problems with women pushing you away).

You're posting youtube vids on her wall which is extremely lame. At best, you should have thrown a text that read 'Heard you were in the hospital. Hope everything is ok.' and just left it at that.

I have a tendency to make my ex's re-fall in love with me over and over again and I do it simply through discipline. If they want space, I give them the galaxy. If I sleep with them, I don't go texting her the next day saying how great of a night it was (which is what every guy does). I make these girls come to me - drive to my place, pick me up from somewhere, take me out, etc.

Basically what I'm getting at here is that when you're trying to hook up with past flings, the way to do it is to put in absolutely zero effort other than simply, short replies to her texts. I don't even reply to facebook wall posts. I leave them there so other girls can see that I've got girls chasing me and the fact that I don't reply shows that I'm 'busy'. Call it a game or whatever, but when it comes down to it, women that pushed you away did so because you lost your strength/firmness aka you got soft. Show strength through lack of investment in them. That's key. Works every time for me.

Great post!

 

[green69]

Meh.

1) Up until a month ago, I haven't had contact with her in almost 2 years. This is an ex from a long time ago. The "NC" is probably what got her posting on my wall in the first place.

2) I don't even have her number anymore, deleted it the day we ended things and haven't looked back. Just saw her post on my wall calling me "sexy" which got my attention. Her birthday was a week later which I ignored as well.

3) I didnt post on her wall obviously. The message wasn't sent privately over FB. Call it lame or whatever, but it's the only way I have to contact her at this point as I got rid of her number ages ago.

Isn't there a limit to how much ignoring and no contact you can do before you just man up and go for it? And by go for it I mean nail the crap out of her as I don't want to date her again.

 

[loveshogun]

Just saw her post on my wall calling me "sexy" which got my attention.

Man, if I paid as much attention to random throwaway lines as some guys here do, I'd probably be able to get a research paper out of it.

What I'm saying is, you're reading into it way too much. All this touch and go, fleeting conversation is literally meaningless. Vibrations in the air. Nothing more.

There could be a million reasons she's speaking to you the way she is now. You can only figure out where she stands if you engage the situation, rather than trying to guess all the things you don't know.

Last word of warning: as a rule, I never allow myself to pursue any of my exes after breaking up.

It's one thing if they literally show up at my door naked, and I have nothing better to do. It's another if I have to make plans, put in effort, and put other priorities aside.

So yeah. In your case, I would consider your a pursuer.

You sure this isn't oneitis? I mean, we all gotta get laid, but come on.

 

[Johnnyventana]

Excellent post oscarkool.

 

[vatoloco]

So I got home last night and saw one of my ex's posted on my wall, saying "hey sexy! are you gonna go to blah blah" which is a mutual friends gathering this weekend at a pub.

Clicky


Edit:

Cuz I want to get laid...

Errr, never mind. Keep friendly contact then. Wouldn't recommend it but, hey, it's your Life!

Remember kiddos:

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

 

[JohnChops]

Clicky


Edit:

Errr, never mind. Keep friendly contact then. Wouldn't recommend it but, hey, it's your Life!

Remember kiddos:

+1 this post helped me out so much in just a split second it took to read it. my lord thank you!

 

[green69]

Okay so I've decided to just drop it. I really don't want to get involved with her again, she's an attention ***** and not someone I want to go out with.

All she has done recently is used low-cost flirting techniques for reasons I'm not sure. I think she broke up with her BF of 1.5 years a few months ago, so maybe she's looking for some attention and validation from someone she feels she has control over. Who knows? But yeah, not worth my time and effort to try to get a lay from someone (although we did get along well in bed) who I don't want to get sucked into again, and who I'm not sure isn't just fvcking around with me in the first place.

 

[bigneil]

Do you really still care about this girl after 2 years? I can't imagine caring that long. Didn't you build up scar tissue toward her? Unless she is totally hot and you had lots of sex with her in the past, how can you care other than as a friend? It's past the statute of limitations on feelings. One thing is for sure, she will never take the relationship seriously again (if you had and broke a commitment). As the saying goes: "Once a woman has loved a man, she'll do anything for him, except love him again."

Just out of curiosity, how many women have you had sex with since her?

Any time I found myself trying to recycle an ex from more than a year ago, I was desperate. It's ok to keep a few FB's around if you can pull it off. But that requires monthly maintenance.

Also, AW-ing (or just plain W-ing) is what every girl does. Women are selling themselves to the highest bidder at all times. Her body is her fate. Whether she's a college hottie at a party, or a graduate working a desk job, or a lady of the night, the minute a better deal comes along she'll take it. There is nothing wrong with that. Better is, by definition better. You would take a better girl also. So to use a derogatory term for what 99% of women do is wrong. Normal behavior should be considered normal, even if it's not what our mommy told us girls were like. Your only option is to improve toward being the best.