Ex getting abortion tomorrow

[Luthor Rex]

remind yourself that if the roles were reversed and you were in need she wouldn't give two sh!ts about lending you a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on.

So brutal and so true.

 

[STR8UP]

I think it was pretty insensitive that you went on a date the day your girl aborted your baby.

Uh, the chick told him straight out she wanted him to accompany her then get lost.

What's he supposed to do? Sit home and sulk over a decision that affected his life but was basically out of his hands?

 

[mrRuckus]

I dont see why she was so pissed about me dating other girls...

Because she's a chick.

I think it was pretty insensitive that you went on a date the day your girl aborted your baby.

He should care because...?

 

[3countriesPlan]

I spent the day with her, and once we got back to her house she wouldn't look me in the eye, didn't respond when I talked to her and ignored me when I said bye as I was leaving, oh, but when her friend called she was talking on the phone happily. To me that's a sign she doesn't want me around. So I went on that date thinking that my obligation to her was over. Come back and she feels "hurt".

She has pretty much treated me like **** since the break up and all I have been was a nice guy who was there for her when she needed me.

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

The problem is that you are trying to use logic when logic doesn't work on such an emotionally charged situation. Of course she's going through all kinds of conflicting emotions, guilt, hurt, sadness, pain, the list can go on and on. What she needed was a real man who could stand by her through this. The rock solid guy who weather's the storm when she can't. Instead she gets some tool who is more concerned with clubbing and dating other chicks at such a serious juncture in her life and his.

I don't know whether or not keeping the baby or aborting is the right thing, but certainly you did not rise to the occasion and deliver the goods as a man here.

Cesare Cardinali

 

[STR8UP]

The problem is that you are trying to use logic when logic doesn't work on such an emotionally charged situation. Of course she's going through all kinds of conflicting emotions, guilt, hurt, sadness, pain, the list can go on and on. What she needed was a real man who could stand by her through this. The rock solid guy who weather's the storm when she can't. Instead she gets some tool who is more concerned with clubbing and dating other chicks at such a serious juncture in her life and his.

I don't know whether or not keeping the baby or aborting is the right thing, but certainly you did not rise to the occasion and deliver the goods as a man here.

Cesare Cardinali

Chick gives him ZERO input as to the outcome...sorry CC, if he wants to go clubbing or skydiving or jerk off it doesn't matter...she made the choice, it's all on her.

 

[Luveno]

Don't get emotional. You're not with her anymore, and its her abortion, not yours.

If anything, her having an abortion just allowed you to dodge a huge bullet.

Too many children are born to people who are not ready to care for them. Too many children have bad families and irresponsible parents. It seems she is wise and knows she is not ready for motherhood, OR she doesn't want to get tied down with you because your income isn't high enough for her to gain in alimony/child support.

Thank God that medical science has advanced enough to allow us to stop pregnancy and continue to live for our dreams, not for an unfortunate chemical reaction.

 

[3countriesPlan]

Rise to the occasion? If she was looking for a man to weather the storm with her and made it look like she was just going to tell him to fvck off later on I don't see the point of giving her any more support that she looked like she needed.

She gave me no reason to think I was that man. She is Ms. Logic and prides herself in being strong. To me, as an EX I did not even have to go with her to the clinic. She was iffy on me going with her cause she felt maybe her female friend would be a better choice.. the morning of the abortion she tried to leave while I was laying bed half asleep.. I had to jump out of bed and run over to her.. looks like she really needed me huh? So I should grovel like some turd then leave when she needs me gone? I loved her and I was there for a girl who gave me no signs she needed me. That is much more than I would have done for ANY other girl. The first week after the break up I was a mess.. so I started to get more into working out and socializing with others.. hence the new girls who came into my life.. I told her.. I happened to get to know new girls after she cut me out of her life.. she was then like oh well I need new friends to.. what the fvck... you treat me like sh1t and act like a victim..

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

Chick gives him ZERO input as to the outcome...sorry CC, if he wants to go clubbing or skydiving or jerk off it doesn't matter...she made the choice, it's all on her.

Hey bro, you're looking at it from the chick's perspective and from that angle I agree with you.

But in my world, I couldn't care less about the messed up perspective of most chicks.

Most girls who want to abort the ex's baby will hate the ex. And also will do things to push away the ex that way she can feel good about the break up and feel good about the abortion (i.e. I'm so happy I'm rid of that guy and I'm not raising his kid. He's unreliable, immature, and would not have been a good provider). So of course he played right into that.

More importantly though, if he has any level of maturity he will realize that what he did is f*cked up. And I think he knew that on some level because in the original post he says "I kind of feel guilty, but it's probably AFC. I need some reassurance".

He let her set the frame, he let her put a test for him, and he failed it. She was testing whether he is a real man, and she wanted him to fail so that she could be ok with ending the pregnancy...no chick wants to raise a child from a beta male. That's why the high status males get more chicks.

If I were in this situation, my concern would be with doing what's right. To stand up for some ideals that I believe in. Masculinity, power, integrity, self reliance, confidence, emotional depth, compassion, kindness, etc. Can I look at myself in the mirror and be comfortable with who I am? Did I live consciously? That is how I judge my actions.

The decision to end a life is a big one. Add onto that the emotional turmoil the girl is going through. I don't care if she would push me away, she'd find that she's pushing against a brick wall. And if she hates me for it then so be it. I would be there for myself, for her, and for the unborn child. All three deserve someone who is "present" for such a moment; someone who feels something and realizes the magnitude of what's going on.

Cesare Cardinali

 

[3countriesPlan]

I did what I needed to do as an EX. She had tried to push me completely out of her life in the beginning. Ok, so she wanted a real man to be there with her. But, the real man is probably going to be pushed out of her life after the abortion when he has no real use anymore.. I'm sure she doesn't need the real man around when she is dating others...

By the way.. I was there to the end with her while she had the child in her. Believe me that I was there for her.

 

[frivolousz21]

deleted

 

[steve38]

3countries….you did your best…IMO you really did. It seems like she wanted it regardless of what you felt. CC is spot on here and I’m sure he has a story there somewhere. I probably should not have been giving advice, as I walked out on a pregnant LTR because she stabbed me in the leg with a screwdriver. Different scenario. I always thought I should have been a bigger man and handled her better. But sometimes they are just not worth handling. Live and learn. Lot’s of us have gone through this and learned from it and gone on to live happy lives. You will do the same and I wish you the best.

 

[iqqi]

I just don't understand how you could go out on a date, when you just aborted your child.

And supposedly cared about the woman carrying it. You went out on two dates, before and after the abortion, and claim to really care about the girl who was carrying your child. I just don't get it. You are talking about marriage, and keeping the baby, and the whole time you are going out on dates with some other chick, the same week you are aborting a child. Classy.

Some actions are just indecent. That is the bottom line.

 

[steve38]

iqqi...the whole purpose of the thread was to help the guy get over it so he could go bang some new chicks. Sure he felt bad about it, as we are all conditioned to feel bad. Did he want it? Did she want it? We will never know. Does hearing about it break my heart? Yeah. But we are DJ's here (or trying to be) and you have to look out for number 1. What is best for you? And most poeple don't know the answer to that.

 

[iqqi]

iqqi...the whole purpose of the thread was to help the guy get over it so he could go bang some new chicks. Sure he felt bad about it, as we are all conditioned to feel bad. Did he want it? Did she want it? We will never know. Does hearing about it break my heart? Yeah. But we are DJ's here (or trying to be) and you have to look out for number 1. What is best for you? And most poeple don't know the answer to that.

I don't think it is "best" for the OP to go out on a date the same night he aborted his child. I think that a little introspection, and a little sensitivity, would have been more in order. But I am in that whole "better yourself mentally" camp, not the "bang as many as you can" camp.

I personally wouldn't be able to stand myself if I was that thoughtless of a person. I mean, he is having discussions about marriage and raising the child one night, aborting it the next morning, then going out on a date that very night. That doesn't seem to me like a very mature individual, nor a man of character. Not in one regard. Seems more like an immature boy making false idealistic promises and offers, and it is completely hypocritical.

That is just the conversation about marriage and raising the child.

Then when you throw in that he just aborted his child's life, I'd expect anyone with a soul wouldn't be "moving on" to the next piece of @ss that same night.

What would you all think of the OP's girl, if she was the one who went out on a date that very night?

 

[STR8UP]

You are talking about marriage, and keeping the baby, and the whole time you are going out on dates with some other chick, the same week you are aborting a child. Classy.

So, in the eyes of iqqi, EXACTLY how long does he have to "mourn" for it to be acceptable for him to get on with his life after his ex clearly stated she wanted nothing to do with him?

Oh that's right, it's only acceptable for WOMEN to latch on to the next guy that shows them attention to alleviate their pain after a breakup or other emotional trauma.

 

[iqqi]

So, in the eyes of iqqi, EXACTLY how long does he have to "mourn" for it to be acceptable for him to get on with his life after his ex clearly stated she wanted nothing to do with him?

Oh that's right, it's only acceptable for WOMEN to latch on to the next guy that shows them attention to alleviate their pain after a breakup or other emotional trauma.

I never said that it is ok for women to latch on to the next guy blah blah blah, to me that is a sign of weakness, and immediate reason to not consider that person as a serious canditate for something more. That is your very own issue that you brought up for no apparant reason whatsoever, and has nothing to do with anything that I specifically said, or this thread. But if you want to base your decisions in life as a man on what some fruity chicks do, more power to you.

As far as a time frame goes for mourning, um, I don't really think there needs to be one, I just don't think going out on a date that very night is the classy thing to do. It is actually pretty damned reprehensible. In the eyes of iqqi.

 

[steve38]

Only the OP knows what is best for him. What is done is done. If you read the whole thread, you know I was not in support of what happened. But thinking about it, he really didn't seem too bothered by it. It doesn't matter anymore. End of story.

 

[ketostix]

I don't think it is "best" for the OP to go out on a date the same night he aborted his child. I think that a little introspection, and a little sensitivity, would have been more in order. But I am in that whole "better yourself mentally" camp, not the "bang as many as you can" camp.

I personally wouldn't be able to stand myself if I was that thoughtless of a person. I mean, he is having discussions about marriage and raising the child one night, aborting it the next morning, then going out on a date that very night. That doesn't seem to me like a very mature individual, nor a man of character. Not in one regard. Seems more like an immature boy making false idealistic promises and offers, and it is completely hypocritical.

That is just the conversation about marriage and raising the child.

Then when you throw in that he just aborted his child's life, I'd expect anyone with a soul wouldn't be "moving on" to the next piece of @ss that same night.

What would you all think of the OP's girl, if she was the one who went out on a date that very night?

Can anyone believe this? Iqqi most be the biggest feminist/man hater I know of. She his ex aborted his child, he didn't abort his child. I thought the OP made it clear it was her decision to break up, her decision to abort, and she pushed him away and played a guilt trip on him. What does it matter if he went out on a date? Who the heck knows what his ex was up to in the meantime.

 

[ketostix]

As far as a time frame goes for mourning, um, I don't really think there needs to be one, I just don't think going out on a date that very night is the classy thing to do.

Yeah that made sense .

It is actually pretty damned reprehensible. In the eyes of iqqi.

In the eyes of ketostix it's pretty damn reprehensible the things you said toward the OP.