Hey guys,
So I'm having a bit of a dilemma right now. As some of you may recall, I broke up with my 5 year LTR about 6 months ago (see thread http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=199366 for reference). Not sure how I should feel about what's going on, so I'm reaching out for some advice. I think I already have an idea of what kind of advice I'm going to get on this, but I'm confused as phukk and want to hear what you think.
So the ex reached out to me about 4 weeks ago and we've been hanging out about 1-2 times a week. It started off pretty emotional with both parties basically being on our guard, but I feel like barriers have been broken down and communication is great at this point. We're both open and honest with each other about our intentions, and I've gotten a lot of insight into the breakup in general and just her character in general. We've been having quite a bit of sex for about 2 weeks now, and it's unbelievable. Break up sex is just as good - if not better - than make up sex, as I've quickly found out.
To make a long story short, I reached out to her on her birthday in January, sent her a gift, and wrote her a long letter giving her my take on why the relationship ended. I know it was a moment of weakness but I really don't regret it. She texted me a few days later basically telling me to phukk off and move on. So I did. The next few months were extremely beneficial to me to find myself, get on with my life and just generally get back to being single and happy again.
I finally felt like I had turned a corner in my life in early April when she randomly reached out to me. I got a new job, was seeing someone casually at the time, and things were looking up. I've stopped seeing the new girl in the meantime, though I don't doubt I could re-kindle things with her if I chose to. I don't want it to complicate things between us, as I just can't help but be excited about the possibility of getting back together with my ex, mainly because we were together for 5 years. A few things concern me:
1) She was seeing someone in January when I reached out to her, which probably had a lot to do with the reason she told me to phukk off, and they ended things in March. This means that when she reached out to me she was single for about 2-3 weeks. Towards the end of our relationship I wasn't getting any space from her, and I'm concerned she's still reeling from our breakup and the breakup of her and her rebound. I'm thinking she may have done this out of loneliness, which is a red flag for me as far as getting my space goes.
2) She's currently got a POF profile out there. I confronted her about this and asked her to take it down, which she stated she wouldn't do, since I broke her heart by breaking up with her without much warning. Since we've been having sex it hasn't been as much of a concern to me as it originally was, but I know she's been logging onto the website pretty frequently. She told me it's "just for entertainment" but I'm not stupid.
I'm afraid I'm being used as a bridge from one relationship to the next. I've straight up told her that I'm interested in giving this another go with her, but she can't make up her mind about what she wants. On one hand I think she wants to get back together with me despite her friends and family telling her it's not a good idea, but on the other hand I feel like she's doing this to have her cake and eat it too. She's been sending me mixed signals the whole time - telling me at first she wants to be "friends" and seeing where things go to phukking my brains out two nights a week, texting me every day, telling me she still loves me, sending me gifts at work, taking me out to dinner, etc. The positive signs are pretty overwhelming, but there are still these issues out there that cause me to have my doubts about the situation. I don't want to be the victim in the situation where she finds someone else and swings to another branch while I'm left empty-handed. However it looks like I may be setting myself up nicely for that to happen - awesome... We've agreed not to hook up with anyone else while we're trying this out - which is great - but the POF profile concerns me a bit. I'm trying not to let it bother me, which I'm usually really good about, but I'm a little suspicious of why she's even set this up in the first place.
I'm looking for some advice on this. I love the fact that we're basically having NSA sex and giving each other lots of space but the feelings are still there and I can't see past them. The emotions are clouding my judgment and causing me some anxiety, especially on days where I haven't slept well and haven't worked out (like today). Do any of you have any similar experiences like this? Any feedback is much appreciated.
So I'm having a bit of a dilemma right now. As some of you may recall, I broke up with my 5 year LTR about 6 months ago (see thread http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=199366 for reference). Not sure how I should feel about what's going on, so I'm reaching out for some advice. I think I already have an idea of what kind of advice I'm going to get on this, but I'm confused as phukk and want to hear what you think.
So the ex reached out to me about 4 weeks ago and we've been hanging out about 1-2 times a week. It started off pretty emotional with both parties basically being on our guard, but I feel like barriers have been broken down and communication is great at this point. We're both open and honest with each other about our intentions, and I've gotten a lot of insight into the breakup in general and just her character in general. We've been having quite a bit of sex for about 2 weeks now, and it's unbelievable. Break up sex is just as good - if not better - than make up sex, as I've quickly found out.
To make a long story short, I reached out to her on her birthday in January, sent her a gift, and wrote her a long letter giving her my take on why the relationship ended. I know it was a moment of weakness but I really don't regret it. She texted me a few days later basically telling me to phukk off and move on. So I did. The next few months were extremely beneficial to me to find myself, get on with my life and just generally get back to being single and happy again.
I finally felt like I had turned a corner in my life in early April when she randomly reached out to me. I got a new job, was seeing someone casually at the time, and things were looking up. I've stopped seeing the new girl in the meantime, though I don't doubt I could re-kindle things with her if I chose to. I don't want it to complicate things between us, as I just can't help but be excited about the possibility of getting back together with my ex, mainly because we were together for 5 years. A few things concern me:
1) She was seeing someone in January when I reached out to her, which probably had a lot to do with the reason she told me to phukk off, and they ended things in March. This means that when she reached out to me she was single for about 2-3 weeks. Towards the end of our relationship I wasn't getting any space from her, and I'm concerned she's still reeling from our breakup and the breakup of her and her rebound. I'm thinking she may have done this out of loneliness, which is a red flag for me as far as getting my space goes.
2) She's currently got a POF profile out there. I confronted her about this and asked her to take it down, which she stated she wouldn't do, since I broke her heart by breaking up with her without much warning. Since we've been having sex it hasn't been as much of a concern to me as it originally was, but I know she's been logging onto the website pretty frequently. She told me it's "just for entertainment" but I'm not stupid.
I'm afraid I'm being used as a bridge from one relationship to the next. I've straight up told her that I'm interested in giving this another go with her, but she can't make up her mind about what she wants. On one hand I think she wants to get back together with me despite her friends and family telling her it's not a good idea, but on the other hand I feel like she's doing this to have her cake and eat it too. She's been sending me mixed signals the whole time - telling me at first she wants to be "friends" and seeing where things go to phukking my brains out two nights a week, texting me every day, telling me she still loves me, sending me gifts at work, taking me out to dinner, etc. The positive signs are pretty overwhelming, but there are still these issues out there that cause me to have my doubts about the situation. I don't want to be the victim in the situation where she finds someone else and swings to another branch while I'm left empty-handed. However it looks like I may be setting myself up nicely for that to happen - awesome... We've agreed not to hook up with anyone else while we're trying this out - which is great - but the POF profile concerns me a bit. I'm trying not to let it bother me, which I'm usually really good about, but I'm a little suspicious of why she's even set this up in the first place.
I'm looking for some advice on this. I love the fact that we're basically having NSA sex and giving each other lots of space but the feelings are still there and I can't see past them. The emotions are clouding my judgment and causing me some anxiety, especially on days where I haven't slept well and haven't worked out (like today). Do any of you have any similar experiences like this? Any feedback is much appreciated.
