Ex broke no contact after one month.....advice please don't wanna make a bad decision

[zer0game]

Long story short she broke up with me out of the blue... She offers friendship I decline cause I won't be able to move on with her still in the picture. Last Saturday I got invited to a mutual friends party and she was there. At first she would ignore me, so I started talking to random girl started dancing with her and caught my ex staring at me. She finally comes up to me and says hi. We make a small conversation. I cut it short then ignore her and start talking to another friend. She stays there just staring at me blankly wanting to talk. Eventually she rolls her eyes at me and leaves. Today I get a message on Facebook saying that she's sad for the way it ended and that we can't be friends. She didn't mean to hurt me and is happy that I am doing good. She doesn't say anything about a second chance or anything along those lines. What is she trying to do?? Why does she contact me? Help!!!

 

[shyguy32]

I would either stay NC or just respond back with a "Thanks" and that's it. But obviously if she writes back and you want more you have to "game" her like she's a brand new chick. Flirting, sexual innuendis , all the normal stuff. Don't fall back into the guy you were at the end of the relationship.

 

[The Gambler]

So... Were you a nice guy during the relationship? Do you think she left you because there was no challenge or mystery for her? That's typically the case when the guy "did not see it coming." Well, of course there are things about you she misses... And on top of that, she probably REALLY wishes you were the person then that you are now, all confident and on your game.

Most DJs here will tell you that once this type of breakup happens, you can never go back to her... They say this from experience and it is almost always true unfortunately. But the ball is about to be in your court and you're gonna be calling the shots.

Good luck from The Gambler

 

[flashpoint]

she just doesnt want to feel guilty. there is no decision to be made aside from moving on.

 

[zer0game]

Yea i became too available, she wasn't chasing me anymore. I pretty much put her on a pedestal. That was my biggest mistake. After the break up I did a lot of research and have concluded the same thing it's over for a reason. I honestly don't know what I want. I can take her into a FB, but I worry feelings will appear again. We could be friends like she wants but I think it's just her trying to make herself feel better (ego-boost). Should I respond? Or wait for her to make contact again? I was sure she wasn't gonna contact me after the break up but she did! Should I ignore it and wait to see what happens?

 

[flashpoint]

FORGET ABOUT IT AND MOVE ON.

what about "saying that she's sad for the way it ended and that we can't be friends." gives you the idea that there is any way back? if you react to that all you will achieve is to make her feel better about herself. that is not your job anymore.

 

[The Gambler]

Yea i became too available, she wasn't chasing me anymore. I pretty much put her on a pedestal. That was my biggest mistake. After the break up I did a lot of research and have concluded the same thing it's over for a reason. I honestly don't know what I want. I can take her into a FB, but I worry feelings will appear again. We could be friends like she wants but I think it's just her trying to make herself feel better (ego-boost). Should I respond? Or wait for her to make contact again? I was sure she wasn't gonna contact me after the break up but she did! Should I ignore it and wait to see what happens?

Some of the guys around here think that the decision you make will mean LIFE or DEATH... I'm not sure how old you are, but I don't think your choice will lead to a life of misery or bliss either way. If you don't plan on living together and are not being pushed into marriage, I don't see the harm in doing whatever you decide to do... Just make your decision with your new brain instead of your old one... and don't go backwards with your behavior.

If you do decide to reopen contact, do it slow and steady, giving her a little at a time. That's what you need and what she wants!

 

[Trump]

I get a message on Facebook saying that she's sad for the way it ended and that we can't be friends. She didn't mean to hurt me and is happy that I am doing good. She doesn't say anything about a second chance or anything along those lines. What is she trying to do?!

As with everyone in life, she just wants to protect herself. In case you go and tell all your friends and her friends what a bvtch she is, she has evidence to counter your claim by her facebook message.

Response: "I didn't know you hurt me. Thanks for your message."

 

[Purefilth]

Just ignore it. You did a month, now she's seen you doing good at a party, now she sees that you're over her.

Ask yourself, "would she have bothered to send you a message if she hadn't seen you out at that party?"
She's trying to make herself feel better bro, don't fall into that shvt.
Unless you play your cards perfectly, and get one final fvxk, this is over.
'Hamsters run best in silence'

 

[Cremasta]

All she wants is to feel good with some kind of closure.
Let the door close.

 

[georgie24]

Long story short she broke up with me out of the blue... She offers friendship I decline cause I won't be able to move on with her still in the picture. Last Saturday I got invited to a mutual friends party and she was there. At first she would ignore me, so I started talking to random girl started dancing with her and caught my ex staring at me. She finally comes up to me and says hi. We make a small conversation. I cut it short then ignore her and start talking to another friend. She stays there just staring at me blankly wanting to talk. Eventually she rolls her eyes at me and leaves. Today I get a message on Facebook saying that she's sad for the way it ended and that we can't be friends. She didn't mean to hurt me and is happy that I am doing good. She doesn't say anything about a second chance or anything along those lines. What is she trying to do?? Why does she contact me? Help!!!

this is your time to shine dont f*ck it up!!!

what to do?? NOTHING!

shes only testing you and leaving breadcrumbs, move onto other girls and disreguard this one

a few months from now this advice will make sense , if you stick to it

 

[Somedude_UK_31]

move on, sounds like you did already so keep going at it.

 

[zer0game]

I decided to just leave it at that....no response from my part. What usually happens after that though? Well there's only two possibilities 1) she never contacts me again. 2) she keeps trying?

 

[Jair213]

I decided to just leave it at that....no response from my part. What usually happens after that though? Well there's only two possibilities 1) she never contacts me again. 2) she keeps trying?

your thinking to much about it

either your still wondering and thinking, contemplating that maybe there still chance? thats why you keep telling your self wats going to happen next? in hopes that maybe she'll give it another try..

Forget it bro, move on, if she messages, texts you, calls you IGNORE IT!!
MOVE ON!!

 

[Who Dares Win]

Keep the no contact, the only reason she contacted you its because her ego hurts after you ignored her, its not about you its imply about her.

She needs confirmation and her ego fed, if you fall for this trick you will feel miserable and she will probably either restart ignoring you or giving you condescending responce.

Whatever are your intention keep the no contact or drop her a short plane responce as you would out of politeness, dont ask her anything and do not express any feeling or make proposals.
What worked here was simply treating her as a neutral person, no pedestaling, no special attention nor special treatment...that is what pushed her closer to you.

Wait at least 3-6 months till her hamster will run out of breath after spinning so long, better yet move on, I always suggest guys in the middle of an improvement process to remove any obstacle or remained of their past failures.

Just keep in mind that its not a second chance, its a fkn trap and you dont wanna fall for it.