I need some help guys. The girl I'm seeing has an ex that won't leave her alone. She changed her number and doesn't talk to him, but he keeps calling her place of work and even came up there the other day. There isn't much I can do and I don't know where he lives or what he looks like (she won't tell me). What can I do?
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Ex-Boyfriend causing problems
- Thread starter SamMalone
- Start date
Get the number from your girl and give him a call.
That's the obvious answer anyways ..whether you do it or not is a different story.
If she refuses to give you his number then something else is going on and you may want to check your girl.
Edit In: He just has to call the guy and tell him to leave his girl alone. Not getting involved at all knowing some dude is chasing your girl around and borderline harassing her is weak if they've been with each other for a while.
That's the obvious answer anyways ..whether you do it or not is a different story.
If she refuses to give you his number then something else is going on and you may want to check your girl.
Edit In: He just has to call the guy and tell him to leave his girl alone. Not getting involved at all knowing some dude is chasing your girl around and borderline harassing her is weak if they've been with each other for a while.
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How long has this been going on?! because if you just started to see her right after she stopped seeing him then of course there is going to be some drama. In actuality its her problem and she shouldn't get you involved in it at all. If this starts to be YOUR PROBLEM, then maybe you should evaluate if she is worth it.
If this has been going on for a while then its borderline harassment and the police should get involved, once again it ain't your problem.
A common theme I noticed about girls whose ex won't leave them alone is that these girls do not do all that is necessary to get rid of their ex's entirely. There is always a slight cracked to the door (some b.s excuse) that allows the ex to set a foot back in their live's in one form or another.
If this has been going on for a while then its borderline harassment and the police should get involved, once again it ain't your problem.
A common theme I noticed about girls whose ex won't leave them alone is that these girls do not do all that is necessary to get rid of their ex's entirely. There is always a slight cracked to the door (some b.s excuse) that allows the ex to set a foot back in their live's in one form or another.
Heretolearn
Master Don Juan
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redfine your challenge:
issue: Is this girl a worthwhile person to invest your time?
Do not get sidetracked by the drama. Otherwise you will be the caller for her new bf. If he is calling then it is her problem, not yours. Just listen to how she handles it and it will help you understand what type of girl you have.
*and unfortunately give you some idea how she would treat you if she was not interested
issue: Is this girl a worthwhile person to invest your time?
Do not get sidetracked by the drama. Otherwise you will be the caller for her new bf. If he is calling then it is her problem, not yours. Just listen to how she handles it and it will help you understand what type of girl you have.
*and unfortunately give you some idea how she would treat you if she was not interested
darkstarrr
Senior Don Juan
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Clearly your pseudo GF branch swung. Don't you think it might be kind of early for her to be in another serious relationship? Know that someday, as ironic as it may seem to you right now, that you could just as easily be in his shoes. Be careful.
Good luck.
Good luck.
darkstarrr
Senior Don Juan
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Interesting. How long were they together? Do you know of the circumstances of their relationshit and breakup? I wonder even though they were broken up since October if they still talked or hooked up once in a while. These things are difficult. I would stay out of it as much as possible and maintain everything as you would normally do it. Just be careful.SamMalone said:
Later.
Heretolearn
Master Don Juan
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darkstarrr said:
exactly, you get her side of the story. It is very rare for one person to continue knocking on a door that does nothing for 3 months straight............
Does not make sense.
depends if she really wants him gone or not. If she does, she could have her work block the number and she could get a restraining order against him. it will be interesting to see if she will go to that length. If she doesn't then you will learn something about her no? because I agree with others, nobody keeps knocking on a door that just is never opened.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
On the one hand, you should not feel threatened or jealous, but on the other hand, he is a problem that needs to be dealt with.
His behavior fits the legal definition of stalking, so getting a retraining order should be easy. You will need his address to serve him the papers, but these days any court will pretty much rubber-stamp a restraining order for a woman who says she feels threatened. Then the next time he shows up at her work, he will go straight to jail.
His behavior fits the legal definition of stalking, so getting a retraining order should be easy. You will need his address to serve him the papers, but these days any court will pretty much rubber-stamp a restraining order for a woman who says she feels threatened. Then the next time he shows up at her work, he will go straight to jail.
ChumpNoMore
Don Juan
x2, caution, could be a HPD / BPD / victim mentality...Heretolearn said:
If the ex was TRULY a bother to her she would/should have dealt with it by now...
While there are a lot of chumps out there that simply don't move on, she may well still be in contact, or even seeing him... I've been there man!
HPD / BPD's get a HUGE ego stroke and drama injection from playing the ever pursued helpless blameless victim... She could be exaggerating his behaviours to help provide some cover for her activities...
If she's really into you she'd be burying this "stalker" thing deep to keep you from potentially walking...
Again, CAUTION, if its such a problem for her why isn't she concerned about YOUR safety?
I know the area he lives, a few towns away, but I don't know where his house is.
I too was concerned about her still seeing him but she got a new number and he's not on her phone so I tend to believe her about it.
I've told her about the restraining order thing and she said shes going to think about it. Jesus just typing this and re-reading it makes me feel like there is more to the story I should know though. I'll just sit back and see what happens: even if she is still seeing him, I have other options lined up so no biggie.
I too was concerned about her still seeing him but she got a new number and he's not on her phone so I tend to believe her about it.
I've told her about the restraining order thing and she said shes going to think about it. Jesus just typing this and re-reading it makes me feel like there is more to the story I should know though. I'll just sit back and see what happens: even if she is still seeing him, I have other options lined up so no biggie.
ChumpNoMore
Don Juan
Yes. I would force the retraining order issue. If she refuses to get one, she's feeding you a line and there's likely a lot more going on...
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
Dude, think about what you're posting before you give completely retarded advice. You could not be more wrong. Take this crap to the DJDiscussion forum.GuanYu said:
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
You can't do anything. Ignore this guy, don't even think about this situation any more. Don't talk about him with your girl. Don't be fazed by him unless he disrespects you or her in some way to your face. His AFC actions will take him out of the picture anyway.SamMalone said:
However, like other posters have said, there might be potential issues with the girl allowing him to stick around. Then again, he might be a stalker. Not enough evidence to get worked up at this point. Just ignore it, do your thing, and just keep your eyes open for now.