Everything went perfect. And now I am on her black list?

[Amazing]

You meet a girl and hang out with her for 4-5 hours. You bounce venues, you are vibing great, you connect on almost every thing, there is great kino, there is teasing, dancing, there is everything.

You give her your digits, she puts them in her cell and calls you.

you hang out some more, then you walk her to her car. During the night she says she is a good girl, never smoked cigs or weed, she is 25 you are too. At one point in the night you tell your friend (who drove) to leave and then pretend he left you there with her, and you ask "you busy tomorrow? can we spend the night at your place?" to which she says "i can't, im a good girl, i dont know you yet!"

you carefully call your friend to come back, and to say that he went out for food. he tells the girl he was getting some food, no biggie.

you then walk the girl to her car, she gives you a hug and you say "you know, i am going to kiss you"

she buries her head in your shoulder and starts laughing /giggling. then you take her face in your arms and kiss her. and again.

she gets in the car and says "call me tomorrow"

you part ways.


during the whole night she didn't play ANY games. it was magnificent, just an amazing time with no **** tests, nothing at all.

you decide you are not going to play games either, and will call.

you call, and it rings.. and it rings.. and it never ends. no answer machine, nothing.

you hang up puzzled.

then about 7 hours later you send a text as you are heading out with some friends.

no reply.


a few days later you call again and its the same thing - no answer.



now, I could be thinking positive, or could accept that she probably blocked the number and the ringing will go on forever.

But I am puzzled - everything went perfect. so something between that night and the next day (10 hours) changed her mind this much?

It could be the hook up idea.. but after that we were vibing great, and I wasn't pushy with it.



Now I will call her from another number. I am looking for the right play here guys. If she picks up I can play it off like my phone was broken and I just called her - but I do genuinely want to know WTF happened

 

[Amazing]

I am trying to be as honest as possbile with myself and see things as they are, not what i want them to be, and I ask: could it be that I liked her so much I thought she liked me as well, when she was just having a good time?

it could be, but two things:

the way it was going, if this was any other girl she WOULD be attracted and would want to hang out again, i don't see why this one would be different.

2. she told me during the night "I am having a great time with you"

 

[( . )( . )]

Now I will call her from another number. I am looking for the right play here guys. If she picks up I can play it off like my phone was broken and I just called her

Jeebuz man , 3 times? Take the bloody hint. Unless her father, brother, mother or sister died then it's probably time to leave it alone.

It happens to everyone now and then, she goes from hot to cold. Your not the first and you definately wont be the last. It's one of lifes unsolved mysteries, dwelling on it will only rip the male mind asunder, pay it no heed and move to the next with haste.

btw on a side note.

"you busy tomorrow? can we spend the night at your place?"

Asking, not leading = lame. You come off sounding like a puppy who's begging for a treat. Phuck that noise.

Also this.

During the night she says she is a good girl

Which usually translates to " It's been a week since I went ass to mouth with Tyrone , Dwayne .. and that other guy's name I forget " Again, pay it no heed.

 

[Amazing]

I will say this right now, I will talk to her again, or leave a message from another number.

There is time to give up and there is time not to. I have other girls, I want to know what happened with this one.

 

[BeyondCharm]

At one point in the night you tell your friend (who drove) to leave and then pretend he left you there with her, and you ask "you busy tomorrow? can we spend the night at your place?" to which she says "i can't, im a good girl, i dont know you yet!"

The entirety of your failure can be summed up in the above quote.

You asked her if she was busy tomorrow... indicating you are so desperate to see her again that its gotta be tomorrow... and you implied "we'll be having sex tomorrow if you say yes to my first question" to which she was thinking "this guy just wants to get in my pants..."

Had you skipped that whole "planning the next date on the first one" and instead left something to anticipate such as when you might actually call her next to set up the next one, you'd probably be on your second date right now.

 

[Amazing]

I am not sure if you understand.

I am with her, an hour from my home. she has a car, I don't.

I ask her - you have plans tomorrow?

Not really

Ok, then I can spend the night.


I went for it right there and then. Assumed I was going to go back home with her

 

[catman]

Sad to say you will prolly never know why. And even if you ran into her she would give some off the wall reason why she didnt answer.If it makes you feel any better i met one just like u describe a while back.Chemisty,kino,kissing the whole package so to speak.Went back to her house and gave her a g-spot orgasm i thought she pissed the bed ? Next day she sends me a text saying to never contact her again and if anyone ever asked i never knew her WTF? I never contacted her again and neither should you unless you want to come accross as a creepy stalker??? Let her go man

 

[Amazing]

Sad to say you will prolly never know why. And even if you ran into her she would give some off the wall reason why she didnt answer.If it makes you feel any better i met one just like u describe a while back.Chemisty,kino,kissing the whole package so to speak.Went back to her house and gave her a g-spot orgasm i thought she pissed the bed ? Next day she sends me a text saying to never contact her again and if anyone ever asked i never knew her WTF? I never contacted her again and neither should you unless you want to come accross as a creepy stalker??? Let her go man:rockon:

Who gives a **** what she thinks about me being creepy? What is this self defeating attitude? HAve you never had to work for something even after it didnt all go perfectly? That chick in your scenario, unless you are missing something in your post, YOU NEED TO FIND OUT WTF happened so 1. you learn to not do it /or do it again and 2.find out if she is just nuts.

It could be her friends talking, or some stupid movie she saw, that ****ed her emotions up, may be she felt slutty and was cutting you off, may be she started to develop feelings when she just got out of a bad relationship.

 

[BeyondCharm]

I am not sure if you understand.

I am with her, an hour from my home. she has a car, I don't.

I ask her - you have plans tomorrow?

Not really

Ok, then I can spend the night.


I went for it right there and then. Assumed I was going to go back home with her

I misread your post and thought you implied you were making plans for the next day tomorrow...

So here's my experience on your rephrased situation...

If there was a mistake made by you, it was in your choice of words. You said "spend the night at your place"... What you should have said if you were "leading the situation" is "lets go grab a movie and head back to your place and chillax." -- essentially your suggesting you guys watch a movie together... which is a perfect situation for you to then segway into more kino, kissing and an f-close...

BUT you chose to say "stay the night at your place" which still SUB-communicated "I want ta have sex with you." And they have been taught to run when they hear that on a first-date... but a movie while it hints at the possibility of that happening does not outright say that its going to.. you are basically letting her "nice girl" image ride out.

 

[Amazing]

I misread your post and thought you implied you were making plans for the next day tomorrow...

So here's my experience on your rephrased situation...

If there was a mistake made by you, it was in your choice of words. You said "spend the night at your place"... What you should have said if you were "leading the situation" is "lets go grab a movie and head back to your place and chillax." -- essentially your suggesting you guys watch a movie together... which is a perfect situation for you to then segway into more kino, kissing and an f-close...

BUT you chose to say "stay the night at your place" which still SUB-communicated "I want ta have sex with you." And they have been taught to run when they hear that on a first-date... but a movie while it hints at the possibility of that happening does not outright say that its going to.. you are basically letting her "nice girl" image ride out.

Good point, that would be smoother and less intrusive, but you think this was such a big deal breaker?

I don't see it imo.




EDITED after rescue's post...


not that his post made me realize this, but its good info.



I think i figured it out.


Gut feeling is an interesting thing. It is very subtle, but it is usually right. You just have to force yourself to listen to it once in awhile.

While i was hanging out with this girl, I kind of said to myself "I am not sure she is that attracted to me"

lets do cons and pros.

pros:

she danced close with me, i pickedher up on the dancefloor, etc.
she repeatedly laughed at my jokes, she punched my sides and my arms (good sign)
she told me she was having a fun time
she kissed me 3 times when i took her head into my arms.
she told me to call her the next day.


cons.

i initiated most of the stuff.
I asked her to dance more and do things and she wouldn't budge, but usually giving a good excuse. (I am exhausted, legs hurt after workout.. etc)
she got in her car a little too quick at the end. sure it was cold but at least hug the guy
she wasnt giving me the **** me eyes.


may be in her book the fun was there the attraction wasn't, or needed time, or whatever. I am cool with that. I can't say its not ****ing me up and making me go "ok, I am about to start being a little more mean with chicks and test their **** so they get attracted. or get more sexual quicker"

I like my game right now. It works fine. But if I can't get attraction I need to read up some things or alter something.. then again I was making out with another girl the next night.. so may be its time to say f!#k it and go on to the next one.

 

[BeyondCharm]

I'm glad you can see the point. As far as you not seeing it, that's fairly common on here. Our egos make it tough to see our own personal situations, because we don't want to feel inadequate or that something we did wasn't right... So let's put it like this...

There's a possibility she's got issues, and it's her issues and nothing to do with you...

There is also a possibility that something you said or did was perceived by her to be a red flag.

Since we cannot read her mind and since womens words are often not actual gauges to their behaviors, you will be very lucky to even find out her reasons and they will very likely be irrational if you ever do...

So in YOUR best interest, we suggest that you let her go and move on... because the saying goes, it is often better to be FREE then to be RIGHT. As in, free of the obsession of this girl and what could have been or what should have been... even if everything appeared to be right.

Go sarge and report back when you have another amazing time...we want to hear success stories too

 

[Rescue Mission]

I am not sure if you understand.

I am with her, an hour from my home. she has a car, I don't.

I ask her - you have plans tomorrow?

Not really

Ok, then I can spend the night.


I went for it right there and then. Assumed I was going to go back home with her

you NEVER EVER EVER ask to spend the night!

Instead, you just hang out at her/your place, and let the "spending the night" idea happen on its own, without any mention of it beforehand

don't you know that chicks don't like to have sexual encounters planned out.....they love everything to be spontaneous..........and thus spending the night should be spontaneous too - it helps in making them not feel like a hooker who made plans to have sex with a stranger

what you should have said was "damn I can't reach my friend, maybe he left us on purpose (say it with a suave player smile), lets take this party back to your place, do you have anything good to drink?"

what you are doing there, is you are not even letting her answer the "going back to her place" question (you are instead assuming that it's a yes), and instead what you are REALLY asking her is if she has any alcohol - I don't even know what that technique is called, but it shows confidence, sexuality, bad-boy-ness, and pretty much every other positive thing that it could show in regards to getting some sex on that same night.

cmon this is don juan 101 stuff, the way you said sh1t to her was really pvssified, you gotta admit that your confidence and your wording of it was kind of pathetic - I don't blame the chick for not wanting to take you back to her place.

Learn a lesson from this, and follow my advice in the future so you can get some sex on the 1st night

 

[zekko]

This could have nothing to do with you. I did pretty much the same thing to a girl once, we were ready to seal the deal totally. Then I just dropped her. The reason why was things were coming together between me and this other girl who I could tell was going to be very special for me, and I didn't want to mess it up. I ended up marrying her. So maybe your girl has someone else too.

Anyway, I agree you shouldn't have asked to spend the night, but I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. Learn and move on. I doubt if that was the deal breaker.

 

[AMDG]

this was such a big deal breaker?

Once upon a time a girl initiated sex and we spent a week together - she even cooked for me during that time, presented me to her coworkers and we had a great time. She called she will be late, and after that silence - the cell phones were shut. I assumed the worst, but after two days the cell phones were on again ( but no answer ), and after a few months there was a new picture of her on vacation. She even left her stuff at my place - but I never bothered to return anything.

I just enjoyed the good time and moved on fast - nothing to see here

I don't need any closure

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I am not sure if you understand.

I am with her, an hour from my home. she has a car, I don't.

I ask her - you have plans tomorrow?

Not really

Ok, then I can spend the night.


I went for it right there and then. Assumed I was going to go back home with her

Couple mistakes, IMO

NEVER plan a second date on the first date

ALWAYS be in charge of all the plans

Put yourself in her shoes. You meet some guy at a club, he's fun you hang out, maybe you like the guy, maybe you don't. Then at the end of the night he asks to come to your place, cause he's got nowhere else to go. When will he leave? What will her neighbors think if she brings home a strange guy? What will her friends in the club think?

It's one thing to move a girl from place to place, to restaurants, and to stop at your place to see your stamp collection, and end up in bed, but to suddenly ask her to commit up front to spend at least the next twelve hours with you was just way to much, to quick, to needy.

Major turnoff.

Imagine if even a girl did that do you? Her friends bailed on her, and she's asking to come over and the night? Unless she was smoking hot, you may be thinking "jeeze, I may never get rid of her..."

Cut your losses, forget about this, and move on.

 

[Don Israel]

2. she told me during the night "I am having a great time with you"

Unless her parents or some relative dies or has an emergency, she probably is a value-taking ho.

She unfortunately just wanted to have a great night and nothing else at all ,after that night.


..Let us know if she calls.




.

 

[Nutz]

You meet a girl and hang out with her for 4-5 hours. You bounce venues, you are vibing great, you connect on almost every thing, there is great kino, there is teasing, dancing, there is everything.

You give her your digits, she puts them in her cell and calls you.

you hang out some more, then you walk her to her car. During the night she says she is a good girl, never smoked cigs or weed, she is 25 you are too. At one point in the night you tell your friend (who drove) to leave and then pretend he left you there with her, and you ask "you busy tomorrow? can we spend the night at your place?" to which she says "i can't, im a good girl, i dont know you yet!"

I stopped reading right there. That cheese ball move is what caused it all to come crashing down. Everything that happened after was spoiled by this single f*ck up.

 

[Amazing]

Alright, I got one for ya:

I don't say that, and I don't kiss her end of the night.


This works out better?


May be I made it too clear I liked her, but honestly she was one of the coolest girls I've met in awhile.. I learned from this though, gonna be a lot calmer and qualifying more, to make her work for it.

 

[backbreaker]

women aren't mac computers ( i wish they were). they aren't equations to be figured out.

sometimes y9ou can do everything right or enough right to where it balances out the negative and the woman just not feel you.

sometimes.. it really is not your fault. that was the biggest lesson I ever learnred and made things so much easier.


maybe she has real big boy issuses andt ends to gravite towards men who are..well..use your undseseriables

maybe she was just on her period


while in my book you did somet hings wrong, I think alot of guys take this **** too seriously, meaning... i have never in my life been on a date where I did everything perfect. I liked my first date with my fiancee so much I went on a date the next night with her. **** the rules, I wanted to see her again and right now. she's still around, and technically I knew better. I went on a date and was so blown away by a woman before that I bought her roses the next day. We dated for about a year and a half and the entire time I had that girl wrapped around my finger. I could call her now and she would fly here form virginia tomorrow, no questions asked. dthat was wrong but in comparison to all the right i did, it's not like the woman has a checklist and you have to score a 100% to proceed to the next level lol.

so what you called her that night. if she likes you she will let you get away with some things. the more a woman is in to you the less perfect you have to be.


This what I would do.

I would treat her like a business client that I just sent a 50 page detailed to a T proposal to. Wait.

All you can do to a woman is present her, like a business client, all of the information to make an informed decision. The actaul decision is theirs.

until they make the decision cut off contact

if she likes you she will want to see you. if not **** it. I really don't think you ****ed up here.

could it have been BETTER? sure. but on a date the vibe you give off is the most important thing and I think she was in to you.

 

[sharkbeat]

You meet a girl and hang out with her for 4-5 hours. You bounce venues, you are vibing great, you connect on almost every thing, there is great kino, there is teasing, dancing, there is everything.

You give her your digits, she puts them in her cell and calls you.

you hang out some more, then you walk her to her car. During the night she says she is a good girl, never smoked cigs or weed, she is 25 you are too. At one point in the night you tell your friend (who drove) to leave and then pretend he left you there with her, and you ask "you busy tomorrow? can we spend the night at your place?" to which she says "i can't, im a good girl, i dont know you yet!"

That's too aggressive. Kiss then say "I am going. I'll call you", then leave.

you then walk the girl to her car, she gives you a hug and you say "you know, i am going to kiss you"

Cut the romantic bullcrap, Romeo. Don't say that. Just kiss her. It's like "oh look my p3nis is coming toward your pvssy. it's coming!" see how silly that is?

she buries her head in your shoulder and starts laughing /giggling.

Probably laughing at you.

she gets in the car and says "call me tomorrow"

Sh!t test.

during the whole night she didn't play ANY games. it was magnificent, just an amazing time with no **** tests, nothing at all.

you decide you are not going to play games either, and will call.

Ugh..

but I do genuinely want to know WTF happened

You can mess up the entire game by doing just one stupid thing, I tell you. Nutz is right that you messed it up by mentioning "spending time at her place". If she's not that interested in you, every single move matters. If she's interested in you, she can be forgiving. It looks like she has no interest in you at all.