From Nice guy to Don Juan to Jerk to Don Juan.
Every time I think I have it, it just slips away even further than before. Now is the turning point, now is time for us all to get back on track.
Father, I have sinned. I have not been improving in quite a while. It royally sucks to just sit there in a circle which is your life that never opens. Eventually, I had had enough and decided to break the habit. I had to do something, anything. I had to improve, but what's left to improve?!
Just like the AFC who put that girl on a pedestal, he who believed that female was perfection, I put myself on such a pedestal. I could not improve because my mindset was final. I was perfect, I had evolved into something that could no longer improve. Hello Laziness, my name is LikRetsam and I am your latest victim. So, I got the hell up and I'm here to tell the tale!
With newfound motivation, I set out to conquer the world. Meet HB9, I am her one-itis. I wasn't attracted to her but I went in anyways. Day by day, I started paying more attention to her and day by day she became the object of my affection. Amazing isn't it? By simply telling myself that I want her, I started becoming more and more interrested in her. By simply deciding that I wanted to be happy, I became happy. I am back to the state I was in at the pinnacle of my evolution. I am laughing again. I am happy again.
I walked out of my math test smiling this morning and I do believe I was the only one. Not that I had done the best work, oh no, but I enjoyed it. School, work, play... What if the difference only existed in your head? My teachers no longer appear to me as teachers anymore. They are human beings again. People getting paid to entertain me. This is how I want to see them and that is now how they are.
I look back at the people I really cared about in the past and wonder at how dramatically they have changed. Truth is they haven't. Only the way I perceive them has changed. They are no longer an elite of human kind, oh no, far from that. They are no longer my equals, they can only dream of that. I look at scissors and think 'I can cut paper'. You look at scissors and think 'I can kill someone with this'. In both cases it is the same object but in different realities.
People are walking up to me wondering how I am having so much fun in class alone! My question is how are they not?!
Some of the new members and I were having conversations on AIM and it was pretty comon that when they were at fault or when we figured a girl wasn't interrested, their reply was along the lines of 'that's not possible, I'm a Don Juan!'. Only in your head bro.
Rejection is meaningless to me yet it means the world to you. Why? What is rejection? What is fear? What is failure? Words uttered silently in the darkness. I'm sure there's a voice screaming them out to me, I can't hear it. Even if I did, it doesn't mean anything. Afraid to approach? I do not believe in fear. I do not believe that there is a threat to my life in approaching a stranger and having a light and playful conversation. Why do you hide from the idea? Why do you run from the very things you wish to achieve?
Think about it. Truly think about it, something a few of us haven't done in years. Don't tell me 'I'm just like that' because I will find you and kill you. Why? And when you answer that ask why again and just keep going. The first step to fixing a problem is accepting that it exists. Now accept that you are not perfect, that you are far from it and find out why. It's all in the mindset. You walk into a test confidentally, you walk out happy. No surprises, you know the limits of your abilities or lack there of. You are in control. You are the determining factor in your own success or your own failure.
Today, I wanted to win. Today, I am a winner. Today, I defeated my father at ping pong for the first time in a long time. I am victorious. Tomorrow is a new day. If I am to be a winner tomorrow, I am to fight and win tomorrow. Today will be in the past, only a memory to remind me of a time I tried hard and got what I worked for. Today is motivation for tomorrow and tomorrow will be motivation for the day after.
Henceforth, everyday will be my day. I will not have down days. I will have not so successful days but even then, I will have fought to be what I want to be. I will not use today as an excuse for tomorrow, I will use it to fuel my fire. Each day I start over, proving once again to myself that I am in fact what I believe myself to be. Each day, wake up with an open spirit, the truth of yesterday is no longer the truth of today.
Why are you not happy? Why are you getting angry? Why do you blame people or things? Don't you realise that you are your own doing? Don't you see that you are your own worse enemy?
Every time I think I have it, it just slips away even further than before. Now is the turning point, now is time for us all to get back on track.
Father, I have sinned. I have not been improving in quite a while. It royally sucks to just sit there in a circle which is your life that never opens. Eventually, I had had enough and decided to break the habit. I had to do something, anything. I had to improve, but what's left to improve?!
Just like the AFC who put that girl on a pedestal, he who believed that female was perfection, I put myself on such a pedestal. I could not improve because my mindset was final. I was perfect, I had evolved into something that could no longer improve. Hello Laziness, my name is LikRetsam and I am your latest victim. So, I got the hell up and I'm here to tell the tale!
With newfound motivation, I set out to conquer the world. Meet HB9, I am her one-itis. I wasn't attracted to her but I went in anyways. Day by day, I started paying more attention to her and day by day she became the object of my affection. Amazing isn't it? By simply telling myself that I want her, I started becoming more and more interrested in her. By simply deciding that I wanted to be happy, I became happy. I am back to the state I was in at the pinnacle of my evolution. I am laughing again. I am happy again.
I walked out of my math test smiling this morning and I do believe I was the only one. Not that I had done the best work, oh no, but I enjoyed it. School, work, play... What if the difference only existed in your head? My teachers no longer appear to me as teachers anymore. They are human beings again. People getting paid to entertain me. This is how I want to see them and that is now how they are.
I look back at the people I really cared about in the past and wonder at how dramatically they have changed. Truth is they haven't. Only the way I perceive them has changed. They are no longer an elite of human kind, oh no, far from that. They are no longer my equals, they can only dream of that. I look at scissors and think 'I can cut paper'. You look at scissors and think 'I can kill someone with this'. In both cases it is the same object but in different realities.
People are walking up to me wondering how I am having so much fun in class alone! My question is how are they not?!
Some of the new members and I were having conversations on AIM and it was pretty comon that when they were at fault or when we figured a girl wasn't interrested, their reply was along the lines of 'that's not possible, I'm a Don Juan!'. Only in your head bro.
Rejection is meaningless to me yet it means the world to you. Why? What is rejection? What is fear? What is failure? Words uttered silently in the darkness. I'm sure there's a voice screaming them out to me, I can't hear it. Even if I did, it doesn't mean anything. Afraid to approach? I do not believe in fear. I do not believe that there is a threat to my life in approaching a stranger and having a light and playful conversation. Why do you hide from the idea? Why do you run from the very things you wish to achieve?
Think about it. Truly think about it, something a few of us haven't done in years. Don't tell me 'I'm just like that' because I will find you and kill you. Why? And when you answer that ask why again and just keep going. The first step to fixing a problem is accepting that it exists. Now accept that you are not perfect, that you are far from it and find out why. It's all in the mindset. You walk into a test confidentally, you walk out happy. No surprises, you know the limits of your abilities or lack there of. You are in control. You are the determining factor in your own success or your own failure.
Today, I wanted to win. Today, I am a winner. Today, I defeated my father at ping pong for the first time in a long time. I am victorious. Tomorrow is a new day. If I am to be a winner tomorrow, I am to fight and win tomorrow. Today will be in the past, only a memory to remind me of a time I tried hard and got what I worked for. Today is motivation for tomorrow and tomorrow will be motivation for the day after.
Henceforth, everyday will be my day. I will not have down days. I will have not so successful days but even then, I will have fought to be what I want to be. I will not use today as an excuse for tomorrow, I will use it to fuel my fire. Each day I start over, proving once again to myself that I am in fact what I believe myself to be. Each day, wake up with an open spirit, the truth of yesterday is no longer the truth of today.
Why are you not happy? Why are you getting angry? Why do you blame people or things? Don't you realise that you are your own doing? Don't you see that you are your own worse enemy?
