Ever got to a point where you just genuinely feel bad for a BPD ex

[bigneil]

Bpds get around. So in a 10 year stretch a moderate BPD will have 30 "relationships" 150 different ****s and probably 300 orbiters.

Nice try, but this math FAILS.

I pointed out that men would need to sleep with 62 women to encounter one BPD and you're saying that the same 62 women f*cked everyone here? That doesn't make them more common, it only makes the odds more rare. And let's face it, most men here haven't been with 6.2 women each, nevermind 62.

Consider that if only 1 in 33 women has BPD, in order for 10 men here to all sleep her, the odds would be 1 in 1.5 Quadrillion. Next theory.

And yes, some of us cringe when we read about BPD stories because we've been reading about them for 5 years and we're tired of this turning into some psychological forum.

 

[Infern0]

Nice try, but this math FAILS.

I pointed out that men would need to sleep with 62 women to encounter one BPD and you're saying that the same 62 women f*cked everyone here? That doesn't make them more common, it only makes the odds more rare. And let's face it, most men here haven't been with 6.2 women each, nevermind 62.

Consider that if only 1 in 33 women has BPD, in order for 10 men here to all sleep her, the odds would be 1 in 1.5 Quadrillion. Next theory.

And yes, some of us cringe when we read about BPD stories because we've been reading about them for 5 years and we're tired of this turning into some psychological forum.

oh get lost you miserable waste of life, nobody gives two hoots what you have to say.

 

[Tictac]

oh get lost you miserable waste of life, nobody gives two hoots what you have to say.

You too sweetheart.

 

[bigneil]

There are no common uncommon women.

Reminder: this is a man's forum. As in men. Not whiny pansies who want to pretend their ex girlfriends were insane, and who yet still want to date them months or years later. This forum is NOT men seeking other men to coddle them and say "There, there, man, another girl will come along some day.... and she'll have sex you with you also... just like that whackjob did....".

Odds of your only lay being BPD: 1 in 62.5.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

There is obviously something in play with these guys who get so irate when BPD's are mentioned, I can't quite figure out what it is.

Personally i think those of us that have been through it owe it to the guys who wash up here, having just been turned over, to help them out the best we can. Going through one of these cluster B relationships is literally life threatening in some cases, when you don't know what you are dealing with.

I can attest to that as I seriously considered throwing myself off a bridge when i couldn't do anything to get my head screwed on again and life was intolerable. My bpd had gaslit me into oblivion, and was playing a push pull game at a ferocious rate, (i hate you, you abused me, you are the worst person i've ever met, i love you, come back, please that wasnt me, im sick, i dont know whats happening) not giving me time to think or figure out what was going on and literally drove me over the edge into a nervous breakdown, intentionally.

This is not a sob story, i'm over it and i learned from it, but it's just what happened.

In the end it was a stranger on the internet from the UK who spoke to me on skype for 5 hours at 3am in the morning his time, who taught me about bpd, and the after effects on it.

If it wasn't for him, i'd be at the bottom of the river, that is no joke.

Glad you made it out the other side my friend.

I haven't spoken to mine in 11 months. We live in different states now. The only potential to ever see her again is on an accidental run-in in the town where we had our relationship, and both still have family & visit frequently (where I hate going and feel dread in the air now, incidentally)

I still can't talk about her to this day to people that knew us. When family and friends innocently bring her up as a sort of "have you heard from her?", I harshly change the subject. I can talk about the sudden death of my father, my parents' divorce, being fired from jobs, and every other breakup I've ever had. Because it wouldn't take much - a mutual friend ran into her and "she asked about you" would bring about some very sinister thoughts.

I never truly contemplated suicide, but I was dabbling in Xanax and sleeping pills to combat the restlessness. I was a perfectly normal guy beforehand. I remember the feelings of imminent dread the first time she "regretfully" told me she was going to a baseball game with her ex. Or the time I was at the mall with her and her girlfriend when she answered a call from another man, who I learned was taking her to a dinner party at work that night. This is not normal behavior even for a crazy girl. Oh sure they'll mention or laugh about other guys in passing, but this is sociopathic. I can't even imagine what her "ex" went through the first time she told him she'd slept with me. They had a kid and were together 3x as long...

My birthday is coming up in 4 weeks. They used to be pretty big deal for us, and that'll mark one year since we spoke and will be a huge no contact milestone in my life.

If these other posters want to make the point that you and I also had something seriously wrong deep down inside to allow these things to go on, I accept that totally and think its worth our time. But they will not deny that these girls were very, very sick people.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

There are no common uncommon women.

Reminder: this is a man's forum. As in men. Not whiny pansies who want to pretend their ex girlfriends were insane, and who yet still want to date them months or years later. This forum is NOT men seeking other men to coddle them and say "There, there, man, another girl will come along some day.... and she'll have sex you with you also... just like that whackjob did....".

Odds of your only lay being BPD: 1 in 62.5.

I've already explained how the men in this forum are a majority within a tiny minority. If you can't grasp that simple conclusion I think you may have a learning disorder and might want to look into some medication. As long as you're not 64 years old with PTSD derangement, in which case it might be a lost cause.

I never thought I'd get to a place where I'd wish a BPD on any man, but you should spend a month with one and come back here.

Your chest beating on internet forums impresses no one but the other senile hack trolling this thread. Go call one of the fake "dozens of 20 somethings" in your phone and get lost.

 

[Tictac]

I've already explained how the men in this forum are a majority within a tiny minority. If you can't grasp that simple conclusion I think you may have a learning disorder and might want to look into some medication. As long as you're not 64 years old, in which case it might be a lost cause.

I never thought I'd get to a place where I'd wish a BPD on any man, but you should spend a month with one and come back here.

Your chest beating on internet forums impresses no one but the other senile hack trolling this thread. Get lost.

I did. And I got over it.

Make your old jokes. Who cares what an arrested development head case types?

Get over yourself. She may have been a nut job. But you whining about it years later is worse.

 

[GeoMan]

Glad you made it out the other side my friend.

I haven't spoken to mine in 11 months. We live in different states now. The only potential to ever see her again is on an accidental run-in in the town where we had our relationship, and both still have family & visit frequently (where I hate going and feel dread in the air now, incidentally)

I still can't talk about her to this day to people that knew us. When family and friends innocently bring her up as a sort of "have you heard from her?", I harshly change the subject. I can talk about the sudden death of my father, my parents' divorce, being fired from jobs, and every other breakup I've ever had. Because it wouldn't take much - a mutual friend ran into her and "she asked about you" would bring about some very sinister thoughts.

I never truly contemplated suicide, but I was dabbling in Xanax and sleeping pills to combat the restlessness. I was a perfectly normal guy beforehand. I remember the feelings of imminent dread the first time she "regretfully" told me she was going to a baseball game with her ex. Or the time I was at the mall with her and her girlfriend when she answered a call from another man, who I learned was taking her to a dinner party at work that night. This is not normal behavior even for a crazy girl. Oh sure they'll mention or laugh about other guys in passing, but this is sociopathic. I can't even imagine what her "ex" went through the first time she told him she'd slept with me. They had a kid and were together 3x as long...

My birthday is coming up in 4 weeks. They used to be pretty big deal for us, and that'll mark one year since we spoke and will be a huge no contact milestone in my life.

If these other posters want to make the point that you and I also had something seriously wrong deep down inside to allow these things to go on, I accept that totally and think its worth our time. But they will not deny that these girls were very, very sick people.

Agreed. Although mine was similar to yours and went through nasty up and downs I do think there something engraved in our personality traits that not only allow us to tolerate it and to have a hard time moving on from it. Definetly something I want to understand better about myself to work on.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Agreed. Although mine was similar to yours and went through nasty up and downs I do think there something engraved in our personality traits that not only allow us to tolerate it and to have a hard time moving on from it. Definetly something I want to understand better about myself to work on.

I'm not afraid to call a spade a spade. My father, who had a brilliant mind and figured it out later in life, was not an alpha male in relationships when I was growing up and never taught me how to check a woman and set boundaries early. In fact he dealt with a lunatic of his own at the ripe old age of 19 two years before he met my mother. Maybe it's even genetic..

So when she came on strong and it felt 1000x more real (in the early stages) than any high school flirt or summer fling, I got tied up big time and had thoughts of "the one". I was only 21 when we met and had little experience. Her hot/cold was like a knife through butter with me.

Now I can spot a woman like this 10 miles away. Tolerance for BS is absolute zero. Not only that, but even my 53 year old mother knows she can't get away with the garbage she pulled on my father 20 years ago and pulls on her second husband now. Most of the time she doesn't even try, and when she does she's taken aback that any man talks back to her like I do. I've told her flat out, my goal is life is to make her proud as a son, but the rules of respect apply to her just like anyone else.

Of course, this comes with a price. This one girl, who taught me all the evils women are capable of, is my one achilles heel. Just the mere mention of her by name evokes extreme emotions I don't feel for anyone else. Very glad we're no longer neighbors because who knows what could happen if I saw her again.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

I have only met one BPD girl in my life, and she f*cked me over like no other human being ever has or will.

And no, it wasn't 'just in my head'. Everyone around her knew she wasn't 'normal', yet got away with it because of her looks and seductive nature.

These people are pretty much non-human. They exist through mirroring other's behaviour back at them. You have to experience it for yourself to really get the jist of how messed up it is.

Anyone who thinks that it is a case of 'she just ain't into you' is a f*cking imbecile.

And to reply to the original question 'do I feel sympathy?', f*ck no! I feel sorry for the hundreds of other poor sods she's going to come across in life.

It's all true. The first time she "cheated" on me with her "ex" (realistically they never fully split up, yet we were dating so she was two-timing us both and it was hard to tell who she was cheating on), she became so crazed that she changed her Facebook profile picture to demonic faces with black eye sockets while sending me cryptic texts. I'm not making this up.

The extreme character changes are enough to demonstrate how unhinged these beasts are. For example, during a hot phase this impulsive lunatic tattooed a drawing of a pendant I gave her one Valentine's Day on her right foot. Now she has to think of me every time she takes a shower and puts a sock on, until she dies or covers it. During a cold phase I caught her cheating in bed with another man, she first stopped me from killing him, and when I stormed off she didn't chase. Instead of kicking him out and begging my forgiveness he spent the night. I got apology texts the next morning. All during the weekend my grandmother was dying of cancer.

It's been a year without a word and it still haunts me more than the death of my father, who was my hero. I had sex with an HB9 Asian just this week. My ex is a 7 with thunder-thighs resulting from 2 pregnancies, and her face still flashed before my closed eyes.

I don't need to go any further. If after examples like this these arrogant, ignorant old men in this thread cannot see the difference, they're not worth another second of time. My example is just to reassure the others in this thread they are not alone.

 

[bigneil]

But they will not deny that these girls were very, very sick people.

That's why you should stop talking about them.

 

[bigneil]

I have only met one BPD girl in my life, and she f*cked me over like no other human being ever has or will.

Her being hot does not make her clinically insane. Hot women are selfish for other reasons. I've dated 7 strippers in the last 7 years - did you ever once hear me say one was BPD? Narcissistic yes, not NPD. A personality disorder is extremely rare, by definition. Don't believe these psychologist who want to drug your 4 year old. Hot women can have any man so there are two things to consider: 1) If she is with you, she chose you from a large group of options. 2) If she leaves you, she has simply demonstrated that there are guys she likes better, but they are rare in proportion to how long she was with you.

Remember: women have no sense of honor or loyalty. Proof: give a guy $50 and tell him to show up the next day to do work for you. He will show up 9 times out of 10. Do the same for a woman and she'll call to say she had to take little Billy to the emergency ward because he swallowed a pencil (or something), 9 times out of 10. Thus, women drop you like a child drops an old toy. They do not feel they owe you anything. If she left you, and it hurts, it's because you know deep inside that YOU need to improve. She's not crazy. Men are crazy to think they're perfect.

 

[GeoMan]

Just wanted to post an update. I just finished hanging out with her right now. I know it was a stupid idea (so you guys don't have to lecture me) but I guess I stupidly still had a little hope left in me and she kept texting me every day. We hanged out but she clearly was not in a great mood. There was no sweetness out of her no flirtyness. She constantly kept bringing up her coworker who is a 33 year old man with three kids(we're 21). I'm sure they are smashing. Talking **** about her ex (the one she idealized and rubbed in my face last May right after we broke up) and basically everyone that was in her life a year ago. Rejecting any flirting from me. She's obviously "hanging out" with a handful of orbiters every day. It was a cold version of her and she expects us to just be friends. Screw that she's back on my block list. This was the last straw of this 1.5 year mental abuse she has put on me I will never see her again in this lifetime. Peace.

 

[GeoMan]

Ps: she's put on some weight thank god lol

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Just wanted to post an update. I just finished hanging out with her right now. I know it was a stupid idea (so you guys don't have to lecture me) but I guess I stupidly still had a little hope left in me and she kept texting me every day. We hanged out but she clearly was not in a great mood. There was no sweetness out of her no flirtyness. She constantly kept bringing up her coworker who is a 33 year old man with three kids(we're 21). I'm sure they are smashing. Talking **** about her ex (the one she idealized and rubbed in my face last May right after we broke up) and basically everyone that was in her life a year ago. Rejecting any flirting from me. She's obviously "hanging out" with a handful of orbiters every day. It was a cold version of her and she expects us to just be friends. Screw that she's back on my block list. This was the last straw of this 1.5 year mental abuse she has put on me I will never see her again in this lifetime. Peace.

Just like the consensus of this thread seems to be we don't feel bad for these monsters, we also don't feel bad for guys who keep going back. Having trouble coping is not the same as deliberately reopening the wound. Not trying to "lecture" but hope you learned your lesson.