Ever get No Response from a Breakup letter?

[Scorpio6913]

I broke up with my girlfriend of five months Tusday night via email, partly due to this thread http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=183012
and never got a response back at all.. Has this happened to any of you? Any reason why she wouldn't even dignify me with a reponse??

Here is what I said:

"Hi,
I was going to send you a email explaining what my concerns were about the relationship between you & I, but have decided, due to your lack of etiquette/concern or regard with me, that I feel I should just say that, whatever you and I had, is now over..
I wish you all the best.

Scorpio"

Thanks in advance for your insights!

 

[shizz702]

Why didn't you break up with her face to face?

Sounds like she either doesn't care enough to respond, or is pulling no contact on you. Either way, what is done is done.

 

[Scorpio6913]

Why didn't you break up with her face to face?

Sounds like she either doesn't care enough to respond, or is pulling no contact on you. Either way, what is done is done.

It was not premeditated, I just finally couldn't take the disrespect anymore when she again never called me when she said she would. There were too many instances like this & I lost my cool & sent it..

 

[shizz702]

It was not premeditated, I just finally couldn't take the disrespect anymore when she again never called me when she said she would. There were too many instances like this & I lost my cool & sent it..

Well in that case I can see not bothering with a respectable face to face break up then. Don't bother seeking closure on this cause you already know it's over. At least you broke it off with her and it sounds like that was a good move.

 

[Scorpio6913]

Well in that case I can see not bothering with a respectable face to face break up then. Don't bother seeking closure on this cause you already know it's over. At least you broke it off with her and it sounds like that was a good move.

Thanks for your input Shizz, I guess she just didn't give a sh_t then?

 

[shizz702]

Thanks for your input Shizz, I guess she just didn't give a sh_t then?

you never know, in reality she probably didn't, but for all you know she may be all torn up over it and can't or won't face you.

Logic tells me though if she really cared or wanted to try to salvage things she would contact you. Just resolve knowing you did the right thing, she wasn't what you were looking for and you had to let her go, otherwise you would have just been wasting your time, and eventually she probably would have let you go. It's better it ended this way.

 

[runner83]

you never know, in reality she probably didn't, but for all you know she may be all torn up over it and can't or won't face you.

Logic tells me though if she really cared or wanted to try to salvage things she would contact you. Just resolve knowing you did the right thing, she wasn't what you were looking for and you had to let her go, otherwise you would have just been wasting your time, and eventually she probably would have let you go. It's better it ended this way.

While I do think breaking up with a girl you had been seeing for 5 months over e-mail was a pretty ball-less thing to do, I do agree that if she still had some interest she will still try to contact you.

Up to you whether you respond or not.

Remember, continue to judge by actions, not by words!

 

[Scorpio6913]

you never know, in reality she probably didn't, but for all you know she may be all torn up over it and can't or won't face you.

Logic tells me though if she really cared or wanted to try to salvage things she would contact you. Just resolve knowing you did the right thing, she wasn't what you were looking for and you had to let her go, otherwise you would have just been wasting your time, and eventually she probably would have let you go. It's better it ended this way.

Thanks again for your responses Shizz, I'm just hurting now & I've never had a breakup without any response before & I suppose I really did it as a last ditch effort to restart/give a wake up call in order to resolve the issues. I expected at least something, even if it was a Eff you back...

 

[Tiguere]

Thanks again for your responses Shizz, I'm just hurting now & I've never had a breakup without any response before & I suppose I really did it as a last ditch effort to restart/give a wake up call in order to resolve the issues. I expected at least something, even if it was a Eff you back...

oh boy! bad move if what you wanted was to trigger a response from her.

now you have to stick to NC for your own good. if you go back running to her the precedent you will be setting will not be pretty.

its the weeknd so go out and socialize. pick up a hobby. distract your mind. dont stay at home doing nothing.

 

[Scorpio6913]

oh boy! bad move if what you wanted was to trigger a response from her.

now you have to stick to NC for your own good. if you go back running to her the precedent you will be setting will not be pretty.

its the weeknd so go out and socialize. pick up a hobby. distract your mind. dont stay at home doing nothing.

I agree, at the moment I sent it though, I was in a peed off state and meant what I said, hindsight is always 20/20 though and I feel bad for the way I did it.
I posted a similar thread on ask men tonight & the women are ripping me appart, which really doesn't help..

 

[Scorpio6913]

It's a good letter. What could she possibly say in response to that? From reading it it sure doesn't sound like you want to talk to her, lol.

I suppose I was pulling a heavy at the moment & expected some sort of reply so I could re-establish a frame.

 

[Iceberg]

I suppose I was pulling a heavy at the moment & expected some sort of reply so I could re-establish a frame.

Maybe she's happy that you broke up with her, so she didn't have to do it herself.

 

[Scorpio6913]

Maybe she's happy that you broke up with her, so she didn't have to do it herself.

Great point Ice, you could very well be right.

 

[Scorpio6913]

I think you HAVE frame, although I don't know the whole background.

I don't know if you read the original link I posted in my OP or not, but that was only what happened towards the end of our relationship. She was quite the taker & not a giver above and beyond what I said in that thread..
As a hunam being, unfortunately, I miss what little niceness I rec'd from her, although I also understand the lack of goodness from her. It doesn't change the emotions of hurt I'm going through. I do realize that I must go through them though.
Just wanted to understand why she never responded, whether it was because of the way I did it, she really didn't care, she has other options, she'll show me, or simply pride.

 

[Trump]

I broke up with my girlfriend of five months Tusday night via email and never got a response back at all.

Here is what I said:

"Hi,
I was going to send you a email explaining what my concerns were about the relationship between you & I, but have decided, due to your lack of etiquette/concern or regard with me, that I feel I should just say that, whatever you and I had, is now over..
I wish you all the best.

Scorpio"

Thanks in advance for your insights!

Your fault for her lack of etiquette or concern. If you were man enough, she would treat you right.

 

[L B]

Your fault for her lack of etiquette or concern. If you were man enough, she would treat you right.

Actually, some women are just rude and disrespectful, but it doesn't take 5 months to figure that out. On the other hand, some just reveal themselves a couple of months into the relationship.

Either way, op. Good job for ending it. It's time to move on. Relationships will come and go in this life. What matters is that you learn from them and do better when you play next time.

 

[Groovy]

If you wanted to get treated right, then you should have called her out on the spot. When she disrespected you, right there, when the time was right.

You let her disrespect you, then you broke up with her, when your intentions weren't to break up, it were, I guess, to be treated right. You weren't direct. You still want stuff with this girl, yet you break up with her...

It would have been the best to not do that... Now you are left with nothing! When you had a girl you were interested in... Things can be amended! Or not. But try! She could change her behavior! Maybe she didn't even know she disrespected you...

If you want something, go for it, be straight to the point, don't do stuff like this... So now, that you want her back, call her, do whatever. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

I personally am not into the girlfriend thing, I rather go clubbing each Saturday! : D So maybe I would just contact her to be a FB. Nothing serious. But if you want a GF, which I think it's not a good idea, especially if you are young, then go for it! If you want that girl, try and get her! If it doesn't work, at least you tried. You'll have to get another girl in that case.

"If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake." -Confucius
Not really sure if this applies here, just putting that one out as food for thought, not to confuse anyone.

Good luck keep us posted.

 

[Jariel]

You have to ask yourself, did you send that mail to break up with her or did you send it as a cry for attention?

If it was the latter, then that was a bad move! If it was the former, let it go. It shouldn't matter to you. She's either pulling no contact because she's not got anything to add or because she wants to get over you.

 

[DonJuanit0]

I recall a time when a gf broke up with me, I didn't answer at all! I just didn't want to, cause I had nothing to say, I wouldn't beg I wouldn't show my feelings (I really didn't want to break up with her) cause I thought she meant it when she wrote me that msg! I just wanted her to believe that I didn't care at all! After a week or two we got back together and she told me "Why didn't you even answer to me? That was worst than even swearing at me, at least you should have said something" It's like the no contact rule!

You just can't tell why! She didn't care, she didn't want to say anything, w/e!
The thing is, like Jariel correctly said, if you really wanted to break up with her you shouldn't care! Just stop! Mission accomplised!

 

[Johnnyventana]

Dude. You sent the letter. Now you have to live with it. If you contact her now, she knows you were bluffing. She knows she owns you.

Moreover, if you contact her now, you are in essence, agreeing to her relationship terms. That is, she didn't change a thing, yet you came crawling back. Thus, you are now her beeatch.

Wait it out. If she doesn't contact you, you can be guaranteed she was never going to change.

We all do it, but it is arrogant and magical thinking to think we can change anyone anyway.

The only thing you can change, is to change chicks. Find one without the coo coo-ness.