Ever felt lonely although you are not alone?

[dudewut]

note: I must be breaking every rule that this board has taught me, like using the "L" word (lonely) and other emotions, which should not exist in a man's vocabulary. So yeah, sorry.

Thanks to the Don Juans in this board, along with the Book of Pook and some ebooks about the Alpha Male and various self improvement methods that I am able to get in better shape, dress better, make more money, get higher grades and get over my oneitis.....

I never really had a lot of problem getting girls, I just needed to fine tune some things and to work on my inner game in order to keep the girls interested for more than 1 week. Also, I created a cookie cutter type of mid-game plan (which was not welcomed here in SoSuave, I can see why lol) getting a girl interested have never been easier.

I will not brag that I slept with x amount of girls, in fact I only got as far as going on two dates with one girl, and having 3 other first dates on 3 other girls and only have slept with one girl this past 2 months. But for some reason, although when I am with one of these girls I still feel lonely.

Dont get me wrong these girls are solid 7-9s and I get texts from them a LOT and I hang out with my boys and we hit the clubs some Friday nights (and maybe get hit on by a girl lol) and my social circle expanded, but I still feel alone for some reason. Like, I cannot be truly happy, like something is missing. On a second date with this one girl I was very unhappy, I dont know why, I am out with a girl who is a solid 8 and for some reason I am not having so much fun. Its like my soul is out of my body, like it wants to be somewhere or with someone else. It was like I am sitting on a very uncomfortable seat made up of lava and I just want to move.

Any cures to loneliness?

P.S. also, for some reason I see women in a very different light now, unlike before where its all whiteknight-ish and romantic and stuff, could it be that?

 

[sirBill]

Dude,

Loneliness exists, it sucks.

Don't exist in a vacuum, expose yourself more and don't be afraid to get hurt, else you're not really interacting with anyone.

Get off that lava seat and go to the gym. Working out makes you feel like a champ, releases all kinds of endorphins and gets you around a bunch of people anyway.

Work on your hobbies. We all get lonely, the key is to push through it and do something.

 

[dudewut]

Don't exist in a vacuum, expose yourself more and don't be afraid to get hurt, else you're not really interacting with anyone.

Bold: What do you mean? Like put my guard down?

Get off that lava seat and go to the gym. Working out makes you feel like a champ, releases all kinds of endorphins and gets you around a bunch of people anyway.

The lava seat that I was talking about was when I was with that girl, she is a solid 8 and for some reason I felt like I was sitting on a seat made up of lava, like my soul wants to leave.....SHE IS A SOLID 8!!!! WTF could be wrong with me.

Also I workout a lot lol and yes I do feel better after working out.

To be clear, I am not sad or depressed, just unhappy (using this term very loosely), like empty. But I am pretty content to where my life is going right now, and I would like to do MORE and to be BETTER.

But again, I still feel empty, like lonely. The same feeling I had back in High School at the back of the class with no partner when the teacher says partner up....Despite the fact that now I have 700+ friends on Facebook (big shot from only 100 friends back in friendster days lol) and I hang out with a lot of people, expanded my social circle EXPONENTIALLY and I actually get invited to parties now and people are actually looking for me and stuff.....

wtf is the matter with me?

 

[macallik]

Emptiness when you are with them, disliking a lack of 'real' dates, wishing you were with someone else. It sounds like you want more of the traditional courtship, with women who want to be swept off their feet instead of at the club dancing their feet off.

The party scene is not for everyone. You said you used to see girls as needing a knight in shining armor previously but not any more. Perhaps it is the girls you are hooking up with that are not reaching your expectations which is making your interactions seem meaningless and lonely.

To me it sounds like you need to find someone that makes your heart go pitter-patter and your mind race instead of someone who makes your d!ck hard. Better yet, find a girl who does all three.

 

[Blackhole105]

Maybe what you're really looking for is a loving and genuine relationship and none of the girls you are hanging out with meet the criteria for that.

 

[dudewut]

To me it sounds like you need to find someone that makes your heart go pitter-patter and your mind race instead of someone who makes your d!ck hard. Better yet, find a girl who does all three.

not complaining about your help or anything but.....isnt that a dangerous place to be in? That is kinda against the DJ mindset, also after what I have been through I dont think I can find someone like that nor will I be able to feel something like that ever again is this really how the DJ lifestyle is supposed to look like?

any other cures?

EDIT: and yes, as I said, back in the day I used to see girls in a different light....but now thanks to this forum I realized my flaws and really went out there and with experience I wised up and know that they are all the same

 

[snowdog]

Drink whiskey.

 

[sirBill]

EDIT: and yes, as I said, back in the day I used to see girls in a different light....but now thanks to this forum I realized my flaws and really went out there and with experience I wised up and know that they are all the same

Perhaps you're learning the wrong lessons. Girls are people just like you and I. Sure they can be manipulated but that's not what this is all about. The goal is to give you the skills to get past the pile of bull**** women put up against the world (for good reason, every smuck out there is hitting on them) so you can get to know them, not manipulate them into ****ing you.

They are most certainly not all the same.

Cheers!

 

[bigneil]

"And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before".

Ben Folds Five (Brick, 1997)

There is no worse feeling in the world than being with a girl you love who makes you feel that way.

 

[Warrior74]

"And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before".

Ben Folds Five (Brick, 1997)

There is no worse feeling in the world than being with a girl you love who makes you feel that way.

Amen.

 

[Nikoli]

Sounds to me like you are simply growing up and attaining consciousnes as to how dark and empty this life can really be. I think this is something that all enlightened people go through at some point and should not be something you shy away from.

With all our technology and ability to stay in constant contact we are becoming more and more alone. Modern life divides us into singular units of being. To anyone who really chooses to think about it, this world is a very lonely place and in ways websites liek this only contribute to that.

So what's to be done...? That is a question. What to do in the face of absurd hopelessness. It's the answer to tthis that makes you a man and helps youi regain your humanity. Find your passion and what makes you tick. Then through this find people who share this and create a community. Only then can you begin to reduce soem of your loneliness and hope to find what you're looking for.

Best of luck!

 

[Cherokee]

not complaining about your help or anything but.....isnt that a dangerous place to be in? That is kinda against the DJ mindset, also after what I have been through I dont think I can find someone like that nor will I be able to feel something like that ever again

The bit in bold is your problem. And it is against the DJ mindset.

You're trying to find a cure for your symptoms rather than the disease.

OK so first of all, find out who you are inside, what you want from life, what you want to be, what you want to do. Write down everything that gives you an ounce of passion and pursue them. Squeeze it out of your brain, even if you only come up with one thing that excites you, pursue it. Be it philosophy, art, sports, you get the drift?

Secondly, how to cure your loneliness, and believe me, everyone goes through this at some point in their lives. There is no right answer, but there is a wrong answer. The wrong answer is to simply stay as you are now and do absolutely nothing.

Science says that energy is never created, it is merely transfered. Go do things that will encase you in positive energy, FORCE yourself to do it, you will feel sick to the pit of your stomach for a while, but I GUARANTEE you will start to feel better eventually.

When you start to feel better about yourself, you will attract the company of other people who feel good about themselves.

Women thrive on this positive energy, and no there is nothing wrong with wanting a beautiful, intelligent woman who fulfills all of your desires.

It only becomes a problem, when a woman is the only thing going for you in your life.

Some DJ's want sex, some want trusting relationships, we're all entitled to our own thing.

You must decipher a path for yourself and follow it.

One day, halfway along your path, you'll stop walking for a moment and look up. You'll say to yourself, "I feel good right now"... and that's the day my friend, when you'll never look back.

 

[jafyk]

"Life without Jesus is like a donut because there's a hole in the middle of your heart"
That said, are you living all for yourself and your own pleasures. Do you seek to make valuable contributions in the lives of others around you?
I'm not sure if the people who have responded truly read the things you wrote. If I understand you correctly your loneliness has nothing to do with the girls right? Because you said you go out with friends and do some other things (the girls included) and yet you still feel this way, right?
I think the way you are currently is making you not to enjoy the company of those women. I can't speak for everyone but even for me occasionally I do experience some loneliness but it's not a chronic type of loneliness.
Maybe what you want to experience is genuine connection with others (which comes back to what I was saying about being about other people and not just yourself as is often preached in here).
It's easy to get jaded after being here for a while. Most guys here including me are looking for that girl that stands out from the rest right? A girl that can stimulate you mentally and down there. Yet it feels like we are asking for a lot right? I mean if I'm to go by the things I read here, I'm most likely to think that very few women like that exist...and for the rest you just have to do this and that (sosuave formulas) and you can get them to be how you want them to be especially if you do it right. With that knowledge how can anyone begin to feel that their connection with any woman is real; after all they are merely responding to how you are programming them, right?
So, you end up on date or in bed with one of these women and it's like you are laying next to/talking to a beautiful fleshy robot.
I don't know that I've given you any answers but I hope you can find some meaning in what I have to say.