Ever been hit on by a gay dude?

[SexyMofo]

I've gotten hit on by them a bunch of times, and I take it as a compliment, but it also messed me up with girls a little, because I saw them using the same tactics on me as I was using on girls, and those tactics were making me uncomfortable.

I hang out in gay areas a lot, and go to art college, so I'm around them a lot. They're always offering bl0wjobs... It's fine when they're polite about it, but awkward, cuz although being bisexual doesn't fit into my self image, I know a BJ from a guy would probably be good (they know what to do cuz they have ****s themselves)

...And so being around them after they proposition me is a little awkward cuz there's a little bit of conflict inside me. Which is exactly the feeling GIRLS get around guys who they know are sexually interested in them...

It doesn't fit into most girls' self images to hook up casually ["I'm not a slut!"], but it would still feel good for them.

Other times, I've had gay guys feel me up, pinch my ass, rub my **** through my pants, etc. Basically, they're kino escalating and being direct with their come-ons. It made me uncomfortable, but I didn't NOT like it, so I'd get them to stop halfheartedly. My sexual attitude is pretty open; I can derive pleasure from fat/ugly/old women, to a point, and although I'm not specifically attracted to men at all, I feel like our aversion to them is societally installed, rather than natural. So, it wasn't that unpleasant but it didn't fit my self-image at all.

Then there were the couple of gay guys who tried to go indirect, which made me lose respect for them (I'm sure there have been others who were so indirect I never found out...) They'd make conversation, and it would be awkward.

Then there were the couple of gay guys who gave me drugs because they wanted to blow me... I accepted the drugs and free drinks, but didn't intend to let them do anything... Just like a hot girl, huh? (They were buying my time and attention. I'd say "don't be this guy with girls", but it did get me to hang around them for a little bit. Although, they could have just been direct and said "I want to get to know you, come over here, let's just talk for a bit" or something.)

All in all, it's interesting seeing what game looks like from the other side. I honestly think that if a gay guy had good enough game, he could get me. It would probably take more persistence and confidence than any of the guys who have tried have had. (I'm sure they'd be more confident if there wasn't the threat of violent homophobes, but it's more like the mental knowledge that the guy wants it.) Cuz although most of me doesn't want it, a little part of me does (bi curious?) and if some guy had 100% confidence that I was down for it, he would do better. Maybe. I don't know cuz it hasn't happened. But it seems like that's the lesson to take away for gaming women... Although their conscious mind DOESN'T want it because it doesn't fit into their self image, their physicality plays a different game, so you should speak to that instead. Maybe.

The alternative way a guy could possibly get me, which is probably more pleasant, is to get to know me as a friend, without a hint of sexual interest in me directly. Don't hide your sexuality, but don't come onto me, which would engage my ASD! If I thought you actually considered me a friend, rather than just a sex prospect whom you're trying to get into bed, then I would be much more open to that stuff. So... THAT'S the lesson I need to take away for gaming women... Befriend them for real, and THEN let sex happen. I dunno... I don't believe men and women can be JUST platonic friends, because one is probably always attracted to the other. But I had the scenario I described play out one time, with a longtime friend, although I kissed her to start off the sexual part. She said she was fine with casual sex with me as long as she felt respected, and I think that "feeling respected" is very important to the conscious mind (for bypassing ASD.)

You do realize that you are gay.

I don't get hit on by gays even though I have a nice muscular body. Do you know why? The moment I notice a queer checking me out, I give him a look "It'll never happen fruitcake."

 

[Ice882]

You misunderstood what I meant. I never said fa**ts don't love masculine men. I said homos are less likely to approach a guy that looks like he will kick his a$$ for hitting on him, rather than a soft looking nice guy.

So your advice is to be a complete assh0le, and someone no one wants to be around? Except for other insecure meathead fagg0ts.

I'm 5'11 180 in very good shape. I could beat people up...but why would I?? Certainly not because I'm uncomfortable with my sexuality and therefore too insecure to deal with a man hitting on me.

You are a deluded individual. You do not understand what a real man is. Only what a caricature of an uber-masculine Bruce Willis-type man is.

 

[Tazman]

The guys saying it's a problem with YOU, if you get hit on by fatties/gays are trying to make this a black and white issue and it's not that simple.

The world doesn't just consist of bad boys and nice guys. Usually when you get hit on it's because you seem "approachable". I've been approached by a wide range of people (granted most of them were making their interest known without actually asking me out, basically flirting and or making conversation, with the expectation that I would take it further).

There are plenty of guys out there who women (men) find attractive who don't fit the bad boy image.

I will admit the "niceness" is somewhat related, but it doesn't tell the whole story. As long as you aren't a doormat it doesn't matter anyway.

 

[Ice882]

You do realize that you are gay.

I don't get hit on by gays even though I have a nice muscular body. Do you know why? The moment I notice a queer checking me out, I give him a look "It'll never happen fruitcake."

I have a nice, muscular body too, but I do get hit on. I'm not instantly defensive like that. I just tell them politely that I'm not interested.

My philosophy -- when you look at a gay guy and give him that "it'll never happen, fruitcake" look, you're doing exactly what b1tchy girls do to us guys. I try to avoid being a hypocrite and reproducing the exact same kind of behavior I despise. Sorry, this came off as a passive aggressive attack. But my point stands.

Edit: Uhhhh yeah also Isko is PROBABLY gay, maybe bi-sexual. I'm not gonna beat around the bush here -- straight men don't want their d1ck fondled by another man. They CERTAINLY don't want a ******* from another guy. They also don't think that a gay guy could "probably get them."

 

[backbreaker]

this thread has me crying laughing.

look, gay guys and women both ar after the same men. they are ****ing gay. how hard is that to underatand. they read the same romance novels, get off on the same guys with 6 packs.. you guys like gay guys are some type of volutures that just sit around in clubs that only hit on guys that hot women don't want or something. i remember one girl i dated, i got hit on by her, and her best friend who was flaming within 30 minutes of each other. they have gay sleepovers with women and fantasize about the same men.

gay guys like hot men just like women like hot men.

I'm not homophobic whatsoever. i know some quite cool gay people. I don't mind being hit on, i'm secure in my manhood enough to where a guy hitting on me doesn't make me question myself. My only probe is, when i say stop, stop. I try to think like hey, i don't knock the guy for trying, hell that's what we preach here right, go out and sarge. can't blame the guy for trying. but when i say no thanks, that should be it and most are respectful enough to where it is. they may make a wisecrack or something, here or there, but that's usually it. In fact one of my old sponsees in AA was a flaming homosexual like, obvious within 10 mintues, he hit on me a few times, once i laid it down to him (not the pipe, that i was not interested) never had another problem out of him. it was odd hearing him talk about his male problems with other men though i will admit.

gay men and women are two in the same. they both like ****. usually the same ****.


it's funny i was at a get together earlier today and somehow the topic of gay men came up. I mentioned that i got hit on about 2 months ago buy this gay guy at the bar at the track that is by my house, he came up to me after asking me some questions and just asked me "do you get down". i told him "man i'm straight" which covers me form anything rather it's drugs, buttsex, whatever.

Then i got to thinking, like okay, what if i said 'yeah i get down".. so lmao, what happens then? what's the i get down protocol? do we just go to the bathroomt hem and he give me a hummer or something?

i thought that was funny

 

[londonzen]

Gay guys on the other hand, I just don't like it when they do it. I don't make a big deal out of it, but I simply don't like it. I've got some horror stories about some of the tactics they use to "feel" you out.

do tell

backbreaker thats funny "get down"

as for being hit on i when i first started working aged 20 i was scared i was giving off some vibes coz it was constant tho now not at all.
i used to be so innocent i never used to realise apart fro number 2

i remeber 3

1 when i was 18 waiting with my dog(jack russell) outside shop slightly drunk guy comes over starts talking bout dog then says "u want a beer" i say no
he goes into shop then comes out with a beer and offers it i say" i said no" not rudely, he looks at me a few seconds the says "oh mate im very sorry" and speeds off.
fate 2 years later i start work and this guy is the head of i.t 1 girl in his team says she hates her boss(in the pub) as hes a predatory gay totally unprompted. then i realised

2 a fat chef at work sees me spins to look at me i give him cold look,
a few days later im coming out of the lift with a cup of water, hes talking to someone and i have to squeez past him, now something makes me think of how girls like to accidently fall into you, so i walk past what does he do says sorry the tries to fall back i jump back and he crashes against the wall water spalshes on my shoe i tell him "watch where your going u pr1ck" he never bothers me again

 

[londonzen]

3 the worse 1 imo i move to a new office at work but have been there a month when we get a newer guy. im walking with the newer guy when the boss of hr comes up to me stopps me and says "oh your new here, we must get a coffee or something and discuss blah blah" i think bit wierd but "erm ok discuss what?" now it was when i said ok the look on his face just changed to a smirk lol the inner voices in my head were like "wait 1 minute" before i said "actually hes newer than me im allright" i pointed to my newer workmate who quickly said " no im ok" aswell lol the guy walked off without saying a word.
my workmate said when i said ok he thought i was a homo i told him i never knew he laughed

 

[Black Dog]

Post

Hey f283000 normally your posts are awesome, but I don't agree with you completely here. I consider myself a nice dude--I'm friendly to everyone around me but I'm never afraid to call a girl on her sh!t or tell her straight up, "No."

However I'm leaning towards the "Gay guys and guys are both attracted to looks---women are attracted to power and other bullsh!t," theory.

F28300 I think you're wrong on this one. Backbreaker and other similar posts are right on the money I believe

 

[Semtex]

I've gotten hit on by them a bunch of times, and I take it as a compliment, but it also messed me up with girls a little, because I saw them using the same tactics on me as I was using on girls, and those tactics were making me uncomfortable.

I hang out in gay areas a lot, and go to art college, so I'm around them a lot. They're always offering bl0wjobs... It's fine when they're polite about it, but awkward, cuz although being bisexual doesn't fit into my self image, I know a BJ from a guy would probably be good (they know what to do cuz they have ****s themselves)

...And so being around them after they proposition me is a little awkward cuz there's a little bit of conflict inside me. Which is exactly the feeling GIRLS get around guys who they know are sexually interested in them...

It doesn't fit into most girls' self images to hook up casually ["I'm not a slut!"], but it would still feel good for them.

Other times, I've had gay guys feel me up, pinch my ass, rub my **** through my pants, etc. Basically, they're kino escalating and being direct with their come-ons. It made me uncomfortable, but I didn't NOT like it, so I'd get them to stop halfheartedly. My sexual attitude is pretty open; I can derive pleasure from fat/ugly/old women, to a point, and although I'm not specifically attracted to men at all, I feel like our aversion to them is societally installed, rather than natural. So, it wasn't that unpleasant but it didn't fit my self-image at all.

Then there were the couple of gay guys who tried to go indirect, which made me lose respect for them (I'm sure there have been others who were so indirect I never found out...) They'd make conversation, and it would be awkward.

Then there were the couple of gay guys who gave me drugs because they wanted to blow me... I accepted the drugs and free drinks, but didn't intend to let them do anything... Just like a hot girl, huh? (They were buying my time and attention. I'd say "don't be this guy with girls", but it did get me to hang around them for a little bit. Although, they could have just been direct and said "I want to get to know you, come over here, let's just talk for a bit" or something.)

All in all, it's interesting seeing what game looks like from the other side. I honestly think that if a gay guy had good enough game, he could get me. It would probably take more persistence and confidence than any of the guys who have tried have had. (I'm sure they'd be more confident if there wasn't the threat of violent homophobes, but it's more like the mental knowledge that the guy wants it.) Cuz although most of me doesn't want it, a little part of me does (bi curious?) and if some guy had 100% confidence that I was down for it, he would do better. Maybe. I don't know cuz it hasn't happened. But it seems like that's the lesson to take away for gaming women... Although their conscious mind DOESN'T want it because it doesn't fit into their self image, their physicality plays a different game, so you should speak to that instead. Maybe.

The alternative way a guy could possibly get me, which is probably more pleasant, is to get to know me as a friend, without a hint of sexual interest in me directly. Don't hide your sexuality, but don't come onto me, which would engage my ASD! If I thought you actually considered me a friend, rather than just a sex prospect whom you're trying to get into bed, then I would be much more open to that stuff. So... THAT'S the lesson I need to take away for gaming women... Befriend them for real, and THEN let sex happen. I dunno... I don't believe men and women can be JUST platonic friends, because one is probably always attracted to the other. But I had the scenario I described play out one time, with a longtime friend, although I kissed her to start off the sexual part. She said she was fine with casual sex with me as long as she felt respected, and I think that "feeling respected" is very important to the conscious mind (for bypassing ASD.)

You sir, are a homosexual...

 

[f283000]

Hey f283000 normally your posts are awesome, but I don't agree with you completely here. I consider myself a nice dude--I'm friendly to everyone around me but I'm never afraid to call a girl on her sh!t or tell her straight up, "No."

However I'm leaning towards the "Gay guys and guys are both attracted to looks---women are attracted to power and other bullsh!t," theory.

F28300 I think you're wrong on this one. Backbreaker and other similar posts are right on the money I believe

People misunderstand it and I been trying to put it as simply as I can.

If you get approached by a homo/fattie that means they see you as APPROACHABLE.

There's a difference to what is approachable to them and to us. To us what's approachable is pretty much any good looking piece of a$$ walking the street.

To a fattie/homo who fear possible verbal (and in the case of the homo also physical retaliation) a guy that's approachable has to look NON-THREATENING IN ORDER FOR THEM TO APPROACH! They looked at this guy and see nice guy written over him. It's safe for them to approach as in their mind their chance of getting hit by verbal or physical retaliation is low.

It's like playing poker and calculating the odds on whether you will hit the flush or not and going for it. They have to look at you, scope you out and figure out what the odds are of you getting upset of being approached by them. If the odds are in their favor they'll do it.

I'm sure there's a science behind it. Like a brother earlier said which I quoted how ever since he started working out he's never been hit by a gay guy again. Maybe it's the lack of testosterone in some guys combined with boyish rather than rough good looks.

 

[Black Dog]

People misunderstand it and I been trying to put it as simply as I can.

If you get approached by a homo/fattie that means they see you as APPROACHABLE.

There's a difference to what is approachable to them and to us. To us what's approachable is pretty much any good looking piece of a$$ walking the street.

To a fattie/homo who fear possible verbal (and in the case of the homo also physical retaliation) a guy that's approachable has to look NON-THREATENING IN ORDER FOR THEM TO APPROACH! They looked at this guy and see nice guy written over him. It's safe for them to approach as in their mind their chance of getting hit by verbal or physical retaliation is low.

It's like playing poker and calculating the odds on whether you will hit the flush or not and going for it. They have to look at you, scope you out and figure out what the odds are of you getting upset of being approached by them. If the odds are in their favor they'll do it.

I'm sure there's a science behind it. Like a brother earlier said which I quoted how ever since he started working out he's never been hit by a gay guy again. Maybe it's the lack of testosterone in some guys combined with boyish rather than rough good looks.

Ah, then yea I get you. Yeah I've been approached by some monsters before, and it really made me question how I was carrying myself. After that I worked on making myself the loud, more aggresive guy....it warded them off haha!

It's just your first post seemed very black-or-white and I don't think it's that simple. But after reading your other replies I get you now. Appreciate the response dude!

 

[Tazman]

Most people are afraid of approaching others because of "rejection". The only reason less attractive people (and/or gays) are more bold is because they HAVE to be to maximize their chances of getting what they want. Being approached because you look even tempered or nice does not mean there's something wrong with you or you need to start acting tough.

You don't just get approached because you look "nice". There are other things people find attractive about you, niceness in and of itself is nothing significant at all.

I've known a few guys who were tall (6'2, 6'5, etc) who were approached by gays, good looking women and fat women. Does it mean they need to start walking around with a snarl on their faces or pretending to be some kind of bad ass to prevent this? Of course not, I think this has been blown way out of proportion.

I don't mind others showing an interest in me, it's great for the ego (minus the gay guys, again, I shrug it off but I just don't like it, it's more uncomfortable than flattering).

 

[Uberguy]

There's a difference to what is approachable to them and to us. To us what's approachable is pretty much any good looking piece of a$$ walking the street.

Hate to break it to ya, but gay men are just like us straight men in that the physical is of utmost importance to them. The only difference between us is that they think a good looking piece of ass can be a guy's.

It's like playing poker and calculating the odds on whether you will hit the flush or not and going for it.

Thank you for proving my point. Much like playing poker, if that pot looks good enough, you'll risk ridiculous odds to win it. It's the same reason why I would wrestle a bear if Megan Fox would sleep with me for doing so. The goal = the risk the person is willing to take for it.

Similarly, if you're a legitimately hot guy, at some point, a gay guy is going to hit on you. Why? Because in his eyes, you're so hot you're worth the potential fight that could break out. If no guy has hit on you, no biggie; women may still be attracted to you for your wealth/personality/etc. But if you're physically good looking -- authentically so; not "my mom says I'm a catch" looking -- expect to have to say "no thanks" to some guy at some point.

 

[FairShake]

To a fattie/homo who fear possible verbal (and in the case of the homo also physical retaliation) a guy that's approachable has to look NON-THREATENING IN ORDER FOR THEM TO APPROACH! They looked at this guy and see nice guy written over him. It's safe for them to approach as in their mind their chance of getting hit by verbal or physical retaliation is low.

Ironically, the type of guy who would most scare off gays...gay-bashing redneck/hip hopper...is the one who would probably pull the most fatties.

 

[jafyk]

Yes, I have and I don't know if I should laugh or cry, lol. they usually seem like nice ppl too. Sometimes it's hard to tell. You are talking with a guy he seems all nice...whoopsie he's gay. AAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

[Exhumed]

Gay dudes hit on me sometimes...I'm really thin and I have a baby-face, which gay dudes tend to go for more than girls, who almost all want the most masculine men. I take it as a compliment, but it gets weird when a gay guy starts touching me (that sounds dirty, I should say "kino" but I dislike the term) in the same way an interested girl would. You know, very light, gentle, sometimes on the chest, lower back, arms, places where straight men don't touch each other even though they may not be inherently sexual...then I'm like ewwww this is not ok!

And they usually are nice people in addition to seeming like nice people, but I know what you mean..."Hey, this guy seems pretty cool, I could see us becoming friends! Oh sh!t he's gay??! He's been hitting on me this whole time! Ahhhh!"

And also, f283000, I think gays and fatties just like skinny guys. Women want a more masculine man but some gays probably still go for the slender woman-like build and the beached whales are usually masculine enough on their own to begin with.

 

[Hullothere]

isko is one ******* away from getting barebacked by 2 dudes

 

[jafyk]

Gay dudes hit on me sometimes...I'm really thin and I have a baby-face, which gay dudes tend to go for more than girls, who almost all want the most masculine men. I take it as a compliment, but it gets weird when a gay guy starts touching me (that sounds dirty, I should say "kino" but I dislike the term) in the same way an interested girl would. You know, very light, gentle, sometimes on the chest, lower back, arms, places where straight men don't touch each other even though they may not be inherently sexual...then I'm like ewwww this is not ok!

And they usually are nice people in addition to seeming like nice people, but I know what you mean..."Hey, this guy seems pretty cool, I could see us becoming friends! Oh sh!t he's gay??! He's been hitting on me this whole time! Ahhhh!"

And also, f283000, I think gays and fatties just like skinny guys. Women want a more masculine man but some gays probably still go for the slender woman-like build and the beached whales are usually masculine enough on their own to begin with.

rofl

 

[Commandante]

Yep, a guy offered me a threesome together with his friend in the middle of the dancefloor. Since then I know that rings are nogo for heteros.

My sister said: cool, this means you look good. Gays have a good taste! LOL

 

[Kerpal]

I was hit on by a gay guy at a club once. I didn't mind at all because he kept buying me drinks and this place was expensive. I strung him along for a while and got my buzz on for free. Then I just left and went some place else with my friends. So basically, I got to experience the treatment that a decently attractive girl gets all the time.

Be careful with this. My roommate was telling me how his friend was doing the same thing, blacked out after one drink and woke up on the gay dude's doorstep.

I didn't ask if his ass was sore.