Ever attract the wrong type? Go through phases?

[Heretolearn]

I'm starting to think there isn't a RIGHT type of girl for me.

I can't remember the last time I met a girl who "gets" me. I mean, the girls I date, they're all great in their own way. But I don't think I will ever get with a lover what I get with my friends.

I don't know if I want a woman around just as a source of romantic affection. I just don't see the point.

That seems to have been the biggest "downside" of my time on this forum...that I can't go back to thinking about women like I used to. As fun as they are in the moment, I no longer hope to find a woman worthy of being a long-term mate.

I kinda see the appeal in the "old system", now. Where the man went out and made the money and the woman stayed at home and raised the children. Men and women were two separate breeds...they didn't really HAVE to get along. They just took care of each other and put up a common front to raise the kids and represent the "family unit" to the world.

The "new system" is all screwed up...you're looking for not just a good wife and mother, but a girl who can be your "best friend" too. That's just hard to find. Really hard.

I just f**ked this girl...she's cute. I like her a lot. I just can't see spending long periods of time with her. I'm waiting to see what develops, because I know it doesn't happen overnight. I just...I just don't see it. She still likes to go out and dance and party and we enjoy this great repartee, constantly busting each others' balls, but I get the feeling that she's like me in that she needs a long-term man like I need a long-term woman...that is to say, not at all.

I get those now...I used to get women who wanted to get married after the first date/first sex. Now I get these girls who are just too busy having fun and enjoying their lives to even think about being "the right girl". I can hardly blame them...I'm the SAME WAY.

It makes you wonder what all this dating nonsense is about...what, in modern society, beyond raising a family, is male-female coupling good for?

Sex?? LOL...don't make me laugh. P*ssy is nice, don't get me wrong, but it's overrated for the "enlightened" male. Given the alternative of two girls at once or something like a motorcycle trackday/whitewater trip/ski trip/rock climbing...even a football game with my brothers/friends....why would I choose a couple of warm holes? Sh*t, the best thing about women is that you can take them to do stuff with you...maybe even stuff that you wouldn't do alone.

Maybe it's because there's always that sexual tension...it gets old, honestly. I wish I could talk to a woman like a human being once in a while. Of course...most of them are boring.

I'm on a bit of a rant.

Bottom line...I don't think there is a "right type" for me.

I definitely dont have the answers - I do think it important to reflect on our current attitudes and their evolution. Then it all figures itself out - hopefully

 

[Scaramouche]

Here To Learn,
"Ever attract the wrong type? Go through phases?"Most guys do,in fact if you choose the wrong type and get burnt then chances are you will do the same again and again......An acquaintance was skinned by three wifes....they were in personality almost clones....He still hasn't learned and his latest heart throb is not much different....This was one of the reasons after doing something like this twice,I crossed the Great Divide and started hanging out of Chinese Girls....No fool like an Old fool.

 

[Heretolearn]

Here To Learn,
"Ever attract the wrong type? Go through phases?"Most guys do,in fact if you choose the wrong type and get burnt then chances are you will do the same again and again......An acquaintance was skinned by three wifes....they were in personality almost clones....He still hasn't learned and his latest heart throb is not much different....This was one of the reasons after doing something like this twice,I crossed the Great Divide and started hanging out of Chinese Girls....No fool like an Old fool.

Yeah - the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results - Einstein.

I am really trying a different approach to life and in turn women (going for girls I want, qualifying as opposed to going with the hottest girl that convincingly chases me).

Definitely a lesson

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Here To Learn,
The hottest girls are not necessarily the best in Bed,and very rarely nice to live with...It really depends on whether it's a physical or a mental thing...For my money a really svexually satisfying Woman wins hands down...What does the song say?"If you're in love with a beautiful Woman.watch your friend...."Is it really worth the Candle?

 

[Stubbylong]

I think there's a lot of merit to this theory that the hotter chicks won't pursue.

Hotter women do pursue, but they are subtle and good at getting you to think your pursuing them. Their not just gonna come out and say they wanna do you, not at first any way. . You have to know what to look for.

For instance: I dated this HB9 from work, she would tell me her computer was broken and so I'd go fix it, she would sit there instead of leave (everyone leaves), once she bent over and her thong was showing, chicks KNOW when their thong is showing, especially at work... Always pay attention and realize nothing is an accident even though they will play it off as one when you call them on it. Notice I said WHEN YOU CALL THEM ON IT, take the hint and bust on them.

The reason I know she was doing this on purpose is because she told me after we hooked up. I didn't know it at the time, I was just busting on her because that's what I do.... :0)

 

[backbreaker]

great thread

1. I went through my stripper phase. vastly overrated. not only are they low quality women, they are low quality women who becuase men pay them for attention, think they are high qualilty. you can' tpossibly find a worse combo. and most are coke heads

2. This is why I go to pains to be as unique as I am. Not, wearing black paint on my fingernails unique, but, I make no qualms about the type of guy I am. I'm a clean cut, slacks, trench coat and fedora wearing jazz head. That's who I am. I'm not going to attract some people but the women who show interest, are seriously interested. I don't attract generic women if tha tmakese sense. I mean i don't unattract them I don't think but, you have to have something about you that makes some women want to break the ice. otherwise you have low quality women going around just throwing themselves at any half decent looking guy.


3. On a scale of 1 to 10 I would give myself a solid 7.5-8. I've never been ugly. But when I put on some muscle, not bulky muscle but, I can fill out a size M polo shirt, I take my shirt off and you can see some definition and a definate tapper, not a bird chest stick, I went from being handsome to being hot and the quality of women and the quantity that shows interest skyrocketed. Even with that said, .showing interest is relative. I 'm a firm believer in what jeff and warrior stated, I will shot down any woman who is too overt. it's unbecoming. But attractive women have a way of letting you know that want to be pursued.

A low qualtiy woman will flat out ask to take you out or for your phone number or (in one case of mine) just plain follow you home lol.




Funny, I was in a room about 4 months ago with a bunch of women, none of them were remotely attractive, we were at a party, and I got suckered into trying to explain this... how it's not a woman's job to OVERTLY pursue a man and how it's a sign of desperation, and was called virtually every name in the book lol.

 

[Heretolearn]

good responses everyone.

You guys are so right about the low level girls being more overt. Had this at work with a couple of the girls (older (early 30s)...larger ) asking me out. Whereas the younger girls just flirt and give MASSIVE openings to escalate (which I do not do due to prof rep).

I have not had a stripper or hot girl (but not good in bed) phase. Would be nice to go through perhaps. I have had a model phase (sooooo beautiful but unadventurous/cafe/shopping/consume type).

I have great progress to report for me though. I was in a restaurant and a young waitress was SUPER cute. Korean. I did not get served by her and it was super busy.

I know I can improve this but my approach was writing my details on some paper, walking past her and saying hi, my name is. I know you are super busy but you are cute and I would have liked to chat. If you would like to, here are my details. No response as she was busy.

Next day in the afternoon - sms from her and I have organised a meet up.

I know it would have been better to get her number and probably some other lessons. I am just happy I took the chance and made something out of what could have been nothing.

 

[zekko]

Hotter women do pursue, but they are subtle and good at getting you to think your pursuing them.

The hot women put out all these signals, guys pursue them, and they sit back and decide which ones they want to keep. That's my impression of the way it works anyway.

I went through my stripper phase. vastly overrated. not only are they low quality women, they are low quality women who becuase men pay them for attention, think they are high qualilty. you can' tpossibly find a worse combo.

I agree with that. I've never been through a stripper phase though, I've always found them disgusting. To me, they're just one small step above a prostitute. I've never understood guys who have a fascination with them, or brag that they were able to bag a stripper.

This is why I go to pains to be as unique as I am. Not, wearing black paint on my fingernails unique, but, I make no qualms about the type of guy I am. I'm a clean cut, slacks, trench coat and fedora wearing jazz head. That's who I am. I'm not going to attract some people but the women who show interest, are seriously interested.

Lol. Sounds like you're saying "Be Yourself". But you have to be. Who else are you going to be? Mystery? No thanks.
I agree if you're going to get serious interest from a girl, you have to be authentic, you have to be who you really are. You can pretend to be someone else and get a one night stand. But if you're going to BE with a girl, you have to be yourself. Of course, as always, be your BEST self.

I will shot down any woman who is too overt.

I agree with you here, it's unbecoming. I have always been immediately suspicious of any girl who is too overt. Usually they are AWs, or just loose.