Thoughts in bold
I thought it would be a good share with the community, so here I go. Met the GF about a year ago. We seemed to hit it off well. After we went from casual dating to "exclusive", her idea, I agreed a few months later, I always stated I'd never, ever get married again, she had no issues. I would like a family, just no contract with the State or deal with family law attorneys. Connecticut is one of the worst States to get divorced in. She brought it up again and I reiterated, I will NEVER, EVER get married. She then said, that will not work for her as she always dreamed of marriage. I then said, then we should think things through to see if this is worth continuing. She asked me to ask a lawyer for options, I have a few friends who are family law attorneys, so I did. I was told, should I agree, and I am not there right now, we can have a religious ceremony and a private marriage, she seemed fine with that.
She came over on Friday and something seemed on her mind. After 30 minutes or so, she told me. She spoke to her friends and she doesn't understand why marriage is out the window and she wants a marriage some day. I then said, wait a minute, I told you from the beginning that this was not an option, and you said no problem. You brought this up again a few months ago, and you then reaffirmed. She claimed she didn't understand, and then started crying. THE OLD BAIT AND SWITCH , FOLLOWED UP BY THE TEARS. THE OPTION YOU PROPOSED DOESN'T GUARANTEE A PAYOUT, NOr GIVE HER THE LEVERAGE SHE PREFERS. I said, listen, if this is what you want, I cannot give it to you, perhaps we should reexamine this relationship. She backed away, but continues on, but why? Simple, I do not need the State taking half or more of my stuff in case this doesn't work out. She said she'd sign a pre-nup, and I said they are worthless since several were recently overturned. She also confirmed her friends said (they are both in family law), that pre-nups can be overturned, and is at a judges discretion. I said, I am not going over this again. You have to weigh the pluses and minuses for a worthless piece of paper. She calmed down and dropped it until the next morning and said I hope we can come to something where we're both happy. I said, if marriage is what you need, I will not be able to give that to you. WAY TO STICK YO YOUR GUNS
So, it seems this will eventually end; most likely by me, not her, which is unfortunate. Even when you are crystal clear in your intentions, they still do not understand. THEY UNDERSTAND JUST FINE. THEIR INTENTION IS TO CHANGE YOUR MIND. She's a good person and I want her to be happy. However, I will not allow the State, Court or POS family law attorneys extract my hard earned money and assets.. I didn't lose anything in my last divorce and subsequent annulment, but the legal fees were insane. No pre-nup can protect against that. It was an unreal experience.
