Ethical debates about cheating

[Buzz]

Do you think it is ethical to cheat on your girlfriend?

What do you consider cheating?

Under what conditions do you think cheating is ok, and when isn't it? (E.G. as long as your not married, committed relationship, etc.)

Basically I've been seeing this girl, and I really like her, but I have this insatiable appetite for sex, and she doesn't (2-3x week isn't enough). But the thing is that she is a really cool chick and isn't just some party ho but has a possibility of a future, which I could be in depending on how the game is played since she is helplessly in love with me.

So anyway, to appease my sexual appetite I have been fantasizing about finding some chick on the side to bang. It has never really been an option but the thing is that it would be soooo easy, cause I am a good looking guy, I have great people (esp women) skills, and they seem to throw themselves at me. Possibly because I have been ignoring them hardcore since I have been seeing this one girl... who knows.

Anyway, so what I've been doing lately is just taking my desires out on her, whenever I want to hollar at a girl I'll text msg her or something. I've basically been disciplining myself with self control, but am I being the sucker here? Am I passing up opportunities to bang really hot chicks simply because I want to be the 'good guy' or want some kind of LTR that (you never know) might not workout.

So what I've been thinking is that somehow this is going to backfire on me, you know, karma and stuff... cause this relationship is really good, its just that I want sex all the time and I have all these women chasing me that its hard to control myself and I might slip!

ahhhh!

-Buzz

 

[SparkleMotion]

I am extremely opposed to cheating. I never have and never will cheat on a girlfriend. That being said, I very rarely officially date girls, in the whole girlfriend boyfriend sense. For the fact that right now in my life I enjoy being promiscuous. Personally I see nothing wrong with someone wanting to have lots of sex with multiple partners, just as long as they are not in a relationship. Sure, you can have lots of FBs just as long as it's mutually understood that all you are is FBs. Cheating is nothing more then lieing, and their is nothing I hate more in this world than people who lie.

Sorry, for my rant. But cheating is something that I'm very personally opposed to.

 

[JonJack]

I don't think this thread should've been a poll. Anyway, there's an easy way of determining whether cheating is okay or not.

It's pretty simple, yet extremely difficult to follow.

Cheating is okay if you accept whatever consequences that stems from that action. It is not okay if you cannot handle the potential consequences.

Cheating is not okay if you have to apologise for it at the end of the day. It is okay if you can live with it and confirm it if everyone you know would to find out about it.

To most, cheating is wrong and frowned upon and therefore it should never be done. To a small minority, it is perfectly okay and they're not ashamed or apologetic about it.

Figure out what is your stand on cheating and you'll have the answer to whether or not it is okay to do it or not.

Last but not least, be strong and do not compromise on this stand of yours. Cause you're bound to regret it later if you do cave in.

 

[frivolousz21]

cheating = lack of integridy.

if you cheat on your women, your prone to lie to anyone else as well.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Ya start off by cheating on your girlfriends, what's next? Cheating on your taxes then doing drive offs from the gas station? Lying to your boss about being five minutes late from lunch?

It's a vicious cycle with no end.

Stop by not starting.



Karma

 

[Social Engineering]

What scrwed me up in the beggining with woman, was being cheated on. I have alot of respect for a girl if she comes to me and breaks up.

If she cheats its sneaky behind the back. Shows she is a coward.Same with guys nothing alpha about cheating

I wouldn t want it done to me so i dont do it to them

If you want more girls don t be exclusive. If your in a relationship and you want something on the side you need to re evaluate what you have. If your in that state of mind flying solo for a while wont hurt.

I spit on cheaters show some respect to yourself and your partner.

 

[szof]

Monogamy is the unnatural state. ALL primates are polygamous and most are also promiscuous. Some bird species were thought to be monogamous, it was found recently that even among these birds the chicks raised by the man in these pairings were usually not their genetic children.

In animal society, there are those that get laid all the time from a host of females (alphas), those who seek pair bonding and get sex only on occasion (betas), and those who get no sex (gammas or epsilons).

By living like a beta - monogamously, attention focused on one woman - one becomes a beta. It's my personal hypothesis that one's physical, psychological, and social being is affected by how one lives. "To be is to do." -Sartre.

On the other hand, living like an alpha male - seizing charge of every situation, and MOST IMPORTANTLY NOT BEING MONOGAMOUS one becomes an alpha. By practicing de facto polygamy one begins to exude the primary and secondary characteristics of an alpha male.

Ethics, morality, all that bullshyt has to do with how society is to be structured. 50 years ago, sure, beta male status was the norm and you could demonstrate your dominance in non-sexual ways. Nowadays, sexuality is no longer regulated by society or the state. We are returning to our primal nature. The ethics of enforced monogamy no longer applies, the ethics of the jungle does.

This code of ethics places the will to power above all other considerations: one is either growing in terms of quanta of power or weakening. Placing yourself under an obsolete ethical theory is to give yourself a handicap that is not only unnecessary, but places you at a disadvantage and forces you to live a life that is at odds with contemporary social reality.

 

[Rex Man]

Man cheating is wrong, but so is a lot of things.

I say you get it all out now while it's not too late.

 

[frivolousz21]

Monogamy is the unnatural state. ALL primates are polygamous and most are also promiscuous. Some bird species were thought to be monogamous, it was found recently that even among these birds the chicks raised by the man in these pairings were usually not their genetic children.

In animal society, there are those that get laid all the time from a host of females (alphas), those who seek pair bonding and get sex only on occasion (betas), and those who get no sex (gammas or epsilons).

By living like a beta - monogamously, attention focused on one woman - one becomes a beta. It's my personal hypothesis that one's physical, psychological, and social being is affected by how one lives. "To be is to do." -Sartre.

On the other hand, living like an alpha male - seizing charge of every situation, and MOST IMPORTANTLY NOT BEING MONOGAMOUS one becomes an alpha. By practicing de facto polygamy one begins to exude the primary and secondary characteristics of an alpha male.

Ethics, morality, all that bullshyt has to do with how society is to be structured. 50 years ago, sure, beta male status was the norm and you could demonstrate your dominance in non-sexual ways. Nowadays, sexuality is no longer regulated by society or the state. We are returning to our primal nature. The ethics of enforced monogamy no longer applies, the ethics of the jungle does.

This code of ethics places the will to power above all other considerations: one is either growing in terms of quanta of power or weakening. Placing yourself under an obsolete ethical theory is to give yourself a handicap that is not only unnecessary, but places you at a disadvantage and forces you to live a life that is at odds with contemporary social reality.

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wat the fyck man?


ok since we are going to our primal state doesnt that mean we should start killing each other for food, for women, clothing?

who created our social structure...

Im not sure, I would assume we created it based off survival and the bible.

and you want to go back to Primate days?

 

[satyriasis]

i think everybody is hardwired to cheat, they just have to choose what there going to do at that given moment.

most men will cheat because (as chris rock said), when they get offered some pvssy, its like there lucky day. Women get offered d!ck all day every day, even if they dont realize that whats happening. So, if a man is in a situation where he is offered sex, it most likely will happen, even if that was not his intention, because he doesn't know when something like this will happen again. Its a lil funny, but its totally true.

 

[szof]

Judeo-Christian-Muslim morality was invented by a bunch of desert Jews three-thousand+ years ago to keep people from raping and killing each other. It provided a society where males could stop competing for sexual access by killing one another and instead invest their energy on increasing material wealth. For that purpose it sufficed. Judean morality was a precondition for modern, post-moral society. We no longer live in a society whose function is underlied by monogamy.

But to hold onto this morality now when it is utterly unnecessary if not irrelevant is encumbering yourself with an unnecessary weight. The Buddha once said of morality that it is like a raft one uses to cross a river. Once you've crossed the river, it would be foolish to carry the raft onwards.

Originally posted by frivolousz21
wat the fyck man?


ok since we are going to our primal state doesnt that mean we should start killing each other for food, for women, clothing?

who created our social structure...

Im not sure, I would assume we created it based off survival and the bible.

and you want to go back to Primate days? [/B]

 

[frivolousz21]

We no longer live in a society whose function is underlied by monogamy.

without monogamy our world would fall to pieces.

population would sky rocket even more
children with no homes, parents, education?

 

[MacAvoy]

I'm in the same boat as you bud, tried a similiar thread a few weeks back except I was only hoping for a BJ http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=89303

Getting a bunch of strangers to tell you that it is ok to cheat, isn't going to make it all of a sudden easier or allright to do no matter how much you wish it will.

 

[Naapimp]

If your going to lie about it or withhold information that someone really should have, then you shouldn't do it if you have any intigrity. Any moral code worth anything adhears to this policy.

I think you have one alternative and it's a long shot. You could ask her if it's ok with her. I know some have open relationships like this. Of course, it should also be ok with you if she does the same.

 

[szof]

- Divorce rates near 50%.
http://www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.html

- Illegitimacy rates for births are at 34% (out of wedlock births) (!).
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr52/nvsr52_10.pdf

- The average American woman has sex with a half dozen men before she marries.
See http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/PollVault/story?id=156921&page=1
"Overall, women report an average of six sex partners in their
lifetimes; men, 20. But a better gauge of sexual activity for most
people is the median, the midpoint between the high and low: Women
report a median of three sex partners; men, a median of eight."
Nearly half of all people IN marriage cheat.
(consider article below that suggests women lie about how many sexual partners they have by a factor of at least 1/2 - so I'd guess most women sleep with around 10-15 men before marriage)

- Approximately 4 to 30% of children are not the biological child of the man who believes he is the child's father.
http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/2247523206

- Only 38% of marriages are happy.
http://www.motherjones.com/news/exhibit/2005/01/exhibit.html

Yet we have the strongest economy in the world. In fact, economic growth in the US has continued to be strong despite the increase in all of the above mentioned indicators of a failing of monogamous society.

Regarding women's propensity to lie about number of sexual partners:
From "Fake lie-detector reveals women's sex lies," by Shaoni Bhattacharya
New Scientist, July 2003.

"Women's coyness about their sexual behaviour was unveiled by a US
study involving a fake lie detector test."

"Women change their answers depending on whether or not they believe they will be caught out not telling the truth, the researchers found.
The number of sexual partners a woman reported nearly doubled when
women thought they were hooked up to a lie detector machine."

Originally posted by frivolousz21
without monogamy our world would fall to pieces.

population would sky rocket even more
children with no homes, parents, education?

 

[Buzz]

Originally posted by szof
- Divorce rates near 50%.
http://www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.html

- Illegitimacy rates for births are at 34% (out of wedlock births) (!).
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr52/nvsr52_10.pdf

- The average American woman has sex with a half dozen men before she marries.
See http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/PollVault/story?id=156921&page=1
"Overall, women report an average of six sex partners in their
lifetimes; men, 20. But a better gauge of sexual activity for most
people is the median, the midpoint between the high and low: Women
report a median of three sex partners; men, a median of eight."
Nearly half of all people IN marriage cheat.
(consider article below that suggests women lie about how many sexual partners they have by a factor of at least 1/2 - so I'd guess most women sleep with around 10-15 men before marriage)

- Approximately 4 to 30% of children are not the biological child of the man who believes he is the child's father.
http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/2247523206

- Only 38% of marriages are happy.
http://www.motherjones.com/news/exhibit/2005/01/exhibit.html

Yet we have the strongest economy in the world. In fact, economic growth in the US has continued to be strong despite the increase in all of the above mentioned indicators of a failing of monogamous society.

Regarding women's propensity to lie about number of sexual partners:
From "Fake lie-detector reveals women's sex lies," by Shaoni Bhattacharya
New Scientist, July 2003.

"Women's coyness about their sexual behaviour was unveiled by a US
study involving a fake lie detector test."

"Women change their answers depending on whether or not they believe they will be caught out not telling the truth, the researchers found.
The number of sexual partners a woman reported nearly doubled when
women thought they were hooked up to a lie detector machine."

See this is the kind of thing that I think, perhaps in the back of my mind, I'm concerned about... What if this girl ends up cheating on me (ok its a far fetched idea at the moment currently but you never know in the future, I guess) and I'm just the monogomous sucker beta whos gf is getting pounded by alphas? This is the kind of thing I worry about maybe because unfortunately I know my mom cheated on my dad while they were married on a few occasions (which I and he both found out after they were divorced).

-Buzz

 

[frivolousz21]

See this is the kind of thing that I think, perhaps in the back of my mind, I'm concerned about... What if this girl ends up cheating on me (ok its a far fetched idea at the moment currently but you never know in the future, I guess) and I'm just the monogomous sucker beta whos gf is getting pounded by alphas? This is the kind of thing I worry about maybe because unfortunately I know my mom cheated on my dad while they were married on a few occasions (which I and he both found out after they were divorced).

it doesnt work that way.

find a good women..with a good past and good morals.


if she loves you..its very very very unlikely she will cheat...just beacause you have LTR or wife doesnt mean your beta.

and who cares..enuf of this beta alpha crap.

 

[Naapimp]

If you can't trust her enough not to cheat on you then I don't she's anything very special and neither should you. This is an issue you have to address.

 

[Buzz]

Yea, guess your right... i just worry about dumb stuff.

Originally posted by frivolousz21
it doesnt work that way.

find a good women..with a good past and good morals.


if she loves you..its very very very unlikely she will cheat...just beacause you have LTR or wife doesnt mean your beta.

and who cares..enuf of this beta alpha crap.