Escaping the friends zone

[erwin21]

I only used to read this site, i never registered. I read senor fingers escaping the friends zone post and some others.
I successfully did it twice.

But something i think that is missing from that is the possibility that the girl is shy and underconfident. If you cut contact with a shy/underconfident girl or go out with other girls and make her aware of it, she will think you dont like her anymore and move on herself, especially if there is 'history' there.

My example. i dated a girl for a while and it was going great. I think i was too forward and deep. She confessed that she was falling in love with me but shortly after she broke up with me.

2 months passed and there wasnt much contact. She found out i was seeing another girl and that along with not talking to her much means she thought i didnt feel that way about her anymore, even though she would later confess to 'missing me' and 'being on the verge of dialing me up and telling me she'd made a big mistake < truth

She is the kinda girl who is attractive but doesnt think so. Very genuine and hard on herself.

Then, i spoil it by telling her drunkenly i am still in love with her.

We now seem to be in a friends zone, despite her still flirting and complimenting me loads.

My guess is. Shes been hurt real bad before. She is very reluctant to take risks on guys. She doesnt want to be hurt or hurt me.
Moving on made her think i was over her, and me suddenly telling her the opposite has got her confused. She doesnt know what to do so shes referring to me like as friend for now, to see how things go.

Any advice?

 

[backbreaker]

you really aren't in the friends zone. It seems like she is just protecting herself from being hurt.

If you show her interest i am sure she would respond in a positive manner

 

[bobby87]

cuss the **** out of her, thats how you going to get out the friend zone.

 

[backbreaker]

actions speak louder than words. Tell a girl you are attracted by the way you act around her, with your body language, not with what you say.

I was with this girl, an old friend of mine yesterday for around 2 hours. The funny thing is, the whole time we were TALKING about friendly things like always, but I was kinkoing her the whole time. By the end of the conversation I was rubbing her legs with my hands and her hands were on top of mine, we were gazing into each others eyes, but not once did we mention what was going on... We keep the actual converstion on friendly things.

 

[erwin21]

well i asked her if she would like to go out sometime soon and she said 'of course i would, your one of my best friends!'

lol, which isnt too good

i think your right

but its not as simple as it seems. i sorta am in the friends zone and im not. she admitted once that she would never reveal her feelings to a guy even if she was in love with him, through fear of getting hurt again. the last thing she wants to do apparently is relive a day when she looses someone like that.

but i dunno what to do. she gives mixed signals. anytime we talk on the phone she begs me to stay. theres just too much history there for it to be purely in the friends zone, i just want to escape it entirely.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by erwin21
well i asked her if she would like to go out sometime soon and she said 'of course i would, your one of my best friends!'

lol, which isnt too good

i think your right

but its not as simple as it seems. i sorta am in the friends zone and im not. she admitted once that she would never reveal her feelings to a guy even if she was in love with him, through fear of getting hurt again. the last thing she wants to do apparently is relive a day when she looses someone like that.

but i dunno what to do. she gives mixed signals. anytime we talk on the phone she begs me to stay. theres just too much history there for it to be purely in the friends zone, i just want to escape it entirely.

never listen to a womans words, read her actions.

I have fvcked a gril while she was saying we were just friends.

Perfect example, the girl I mentioned above tells me how good of a friend she is to me and all that good stuff, but yet there is somehow a rumor going around the town that she is cheating on her BF with me and we have a child...someone I haven't seen in 2 years. We are good friends but you try to call me everynight before you are going to bed. We are good friends but you are nevous around me, as I can tell by the figiting with your hands. We are good friends but you are letting me cress your legs and are enjoying it.

She is probably trying to convence herself that she is just friends. I have done this before and it does happen.

 

[erwin21]

baring that in mind, how can i succeed?

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by erwin21
baring that in mind, how can i succeed?

First and foremost, don't pay attention to what she says as much as you do her body language. See how she is sitting and looking at you when you are together. If she is leaning back with her arms crossed, give up. If she has her legs crossed towards you and is moving her foot, or she looks at you and give you a wide smile, or plays with any part of her body, hair, fingers, neck, she is interested in at least some degree.

If she is interested, graduly move closer. She will subconciously move back, but that's okay, we are programmed to have our personal space and we do not like for it to be entruded.

Touch her. Put your hand on her knee when you are talking to her and gazing into her eyes.

What I did yesterday, was that we were talking about her going to school over the summer. She mentioned that she might not be able to afford the books, and I looked her in the eyes, and put my hands softly on her knee and told her that if she needed money for school, or books, let me know, and that I care about her to much as a person to not let her have books for school. After that I just keep my hands there, then started moving them.
She said something funny and when she did she started to touch me back.

You just have to make a move.

I started to say "why are we bull****ting, we both are attracted to each other and we know it" but I didn't, mainly because I want to save that one.

Also if you are talking to her every day, stop.

 

[erwin21]

anyone else?