Escalation and getting laid, what am i doing wrong ?

[flowtheory]

Trust when I say it works. I am entertaining a few women right now. One told me we'd meet for drinks when she's free. I didn't hear from her in a week or so. Out of the blue, she text me and thought I was on vacation. Then she starts rambing on her job bs that I really do not care about. I said let's meet and we can get a few drinks. It seems you need one. We're meeting this weekend. Another one did something similar. I called a few days ago and left a message after a couple of weeks (she was away) when we first met. Typical woman, she waited a day to call me back, and we set something up. Amazingly they were both free when I suggested this weekend. How magical (sarcasm). As a man, your natural instinct is to chase. This is a turn off to women. Different in business, but for sex, no chase. Let them chase you. Why? Because most men are doing what you are doing. Chasing the pvssy and are very thirsty as they now say. Me? I couldn't care less if they stay, pray or lay. If then want to spend some time with me, cool. If not, fvck em. Basically, you need to be aloof and distant. Not available and never chase. All in all, anything you think you should do, do the opposite. Again, because, if they are average or above in looks, they have no issues getting a man's attention. However, when a man is selective or not giving that attention right away, then that peaks their interest more. Their mind is wondering why? Why isn't he bombarding me with messages, calls and texts. Makes you appear higher value and more interesting. Point being, never give a fvck. And when you are with them, just let them talk and you listen and expand on what they are saying. Never give too much info on you and make yourself seem interesting, even if you aren't. Use your imagination.

In short, if you are thinking of doing something to communicate with a potential woman, do the opposite. You'd be surprised at the results.

Still have to plan and chase a bit towards the woman though. Can’t play it too ‘joe cool’

 

[Soflobro#2]

He's 19 (I think) and hungry for pvssy. It's understandable. He just has to slow his role and do the opposite of what his heart tells him to do. It's just how it is.

This makes sense and to go even further is great that he is only 19 and has come here and doesn't currently have a case of oneitus. This is a huge advantage.

Op, i would suggest you stop trying the methods that aren't working for you. Try something different, in fact try something you're sure would never work. Sometimes it's all in your head. It's your behavior and perception that's holding your back.

Just try different things. Don't keep doing the same things that aren't working for you. We are all different and what works for me might not work for you.

I'm kind of crazy though. I think I have some cluster b traits maybe. Or not. Idk. I know that for me, right now, i just work very hard and i run game on my coworkers and the owner of the company because now, I've helped this company make enough money to buy two new trucks. And i say the right things to my manager and the owner, but i actually mean it and i work very hard. I'm not even trying to date right now because i need to focus on building myself up.

Sometimes you just need a drastic change.

Honestly you need to get busy because you have to much time on your hands because you're ruminating and worrying. You need to have goals and work towards those, and as you start succeeding your confidence will grow little by little.

Women LOVE a confident man. whether your confidence is real or a delusion it doesn't matter. But its better to not fake it.

Sometimes to be interesting you need to be also interested. You need to affect these women's emotions. An emotional connection will get your foot in the door. Personally if i can establish an emotional connection with these women, and genuine one, i can usually get sex and way more.

But I'm probably a little different.

 

[R.U.G.]

Still have to plan and chase a bit towards the woman though. Can’t play it too ‘joe cool’

You'd be surprised. The less attention you give, the more they are interested in you IF they have at least medium interest. If it is less than 50%, move on. In the beginning, obviously, a man needs to do the majority of the reaching out. Hence, once a week at most, unless she reaches out and then you can opine for a bit, then have to jet. However, if after a few weeks you are still doing the chasing and she's never reaching out, you just need to cut your losses and move on, as her interest is just not high enough for sex.

 

[R.U.G.]

What I've learned is when a woman has a good head on their shoulders and thinks positive about themselves, they usually like to talk. So I tend to just ask lead in questions and expand from there. A to B, B to C, C to D, etc. Therefore, you just appear to be listening, even if you aren't. Just nod your head and seem to follow along. When she's done with some of her quibble, just repeat something she said recently and concur. You really have to play it by ear. But, women complain that men do not listen. So, with this example, it will make you appear that you are listening and giving an interest into her world. Again, if the woman is not damaged, it usually goes a long way. If she's the non-talking type, and I've had plenty of those, it's best to get a quick drink and then call it a night. Scratch her off your list. She either has her own unresolved issues, not interested, or too reserved. Either way, not worth wasting your coin on her.

 

[top gear]

I think I got the answer by reading about your quandaries just when I thought any possibility was lost Want to team up?

 

[ZaCool]

R.U.G. has solid advice. I support for an all encompassing growth with autonomy.
- - -
Based on your original post, you’re being self-deceptive in some aspect. A man who is tall, attractive, sweet, with game, confident and assertive, does not have woman problems.... yet you are not obtaining your desired outcome.

Being successful in any facet of life requires we acknowledge our weak spots which are hindering us from obtaining our desired result. Acknowledge yours and give real examples with vulnerability and many men will help you exponentially here.

Iam poor, low status, i have no car, no place and i have to help my parents pay rent and stuff , also have annoying digestive issues which sometimes are painful (luckily doesnt happen often ) , also as i stated above iam kinda nice, i dont usually go on the "offense" sexually unless i see some signs from the girl cause as i said i have no place so cant invite her over, i also cant pick her up her with my car ( can use parents car like twice a week) and my only hope is actually making her like me enough to overlook my weaknesses .

" man who is tall, attractive, sweet, with game, confident and assertive" ... iam 6'2, and eveyone men and women alike tell me iam very good looking and i do put an effort in looking good so that part is true, now as for confidence and assertivness, i am still not the kind to go cold approach a woman i havent reached that point in my life yet where i just "Do it", but i have no issues meeting women i talked to even if just once ... as for being assertive, well i have in the past told girls to cut the crap and stop playing games .. but that doesnt quite give the desired results always, i came to realize that women dont know what they want and they need someone to spark interest in them they need their feelings raging, and to be on their toes usnsure of what that dude has in store for them, iam slowly learning how to do that without getting mad at women and keeping my cool (iam cool though and rarely get angry ) , i guess you could say i need more game and iam lacking in that department ...

P/S : The hungry for pvssy part is correct as for my age i will soon turn 23 ( i had gfs in the past so not entirely cluless but still iam not doing well now that iam in college and need to figure out why )

 

[flowtheory]

Iam poor, low status, i have no car, no place and i have to help my parents pay rent and stuff , also have annoying digestive issues which sometimes are painful (luckily doesnt happen often ) , also as i stated above iam kinda nice, i dont usually go on the "offense" sexually unless i see some signs from the girl cause as i said i have no place so cant invite her over, i also cant pick her up her with my car ( can use parents car like twice a week) and my only hope is actually making her like me enough to overlook my weaknesses

I believe you could still be successful with women even given the lack of these material belongings.
Lean in to your strengths. If it’s about sex, you can easily fool around with women in public places or ones which are hidden away - her spot even. And if it really comes down to it (she asks), openly tell the woman you live at home because your stockpiling cash, etc because from all the warren buffet books you’ve read, it’s the best move. There is a way to turn all these ‘negatives’ in to positives.

Quick fix: always stay nice; women actually like nice guys - they just don’t like beta pushovers who are eager beavers - so tease her in a fun way and be a challenge. Don’t be an asshol€, but be assertive. And treat every ‘issue’ or rejection like it’s water off a ducks back; you’re alwady abundant in your own personal life and everything is just a cherry on the top otherwise, so it won’t make or break you. Always look at women like they are just a nice touch to life; don’t ever allot too much pressure or weight towards them.

If a woman judges you for some of the things you don’t yet have - car, own spot, etc... flip it back on her and make her seem like the one with the issue; because in reality her fears are coming through more than yours in that scenario. Plus, someone who is judgemental does not align with your frame. So at that point; bye Felicia!

And hey, you may not always get the girl even when everything is on point. But always get closer to knowing your self worth.

And as for the digestive issues. Try some
New diets and maybe go see someone about that.

I had digestive issues too. Then I started eating less meat, dairy, and gluten products.. boom.. I feel fantastic.
And not to get all spiritual on here, however some of our bodily issues are correlated with how we view ourselves and the world around us. Stress shows up in very interesting ways.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I'd say mistake one is your constant assertions of "I'm such an attractive guy, I'm basically 11/10, every girl that's ever looked at me loses control of their nervous system and I can literally possess them like the Antichrist."

I've seen 5-6 posts from you now going on about how you're the hottest man any woman has ever seen - and other than that you seem like a cool guy. But that attitude is a major turn off for women and even irritating to read as a man.

Being hot doesn't matter at all if you're an arrogant entitled pr*ck (not saying this is you, just saying). Girls don't have to bang you just because you think you're attractive (or even because you are attractive).

Having abs or a great face increases your sexual value but it doesn't ENTITLE you to anything, and bragging or humblebragging about it just knocks points off big time and usually suggests personality defects like narcissism.

So step 1 - lose the excessive ego, or at least tone it down so it doesn't sound like you're jerking yourself off every time you talk about your interactions with women.

 

[Soflobro#2]

I believe you could still be successful with women even given the lack of these material belongings.
Lean in to your strengths. If it’s about sex, you can easily fool around with women in public places or ones which are hidden away - her spot even. And if it really comes down to it (she asks), openly tell the woman you live at home because your stockpiling cash, etc because from all the warren buffet books you’ve read, it’s the best move. There is a way to turn all these ‘negatives’ in to positives.

Quick fix: always stay nice; women actually like nice guys - they just don’t like beta pushovers who are eager beavers - so tease her in a fun way and be a challenge. Don’t be an asshol€, but be assertive. And treat every ‘issue’ or rejection like it’s water off a ducks back; you’re alwady abundant in your own personal life and everything is just a cherry on the top otherwise, so it won’t make or break you. Always look at women like they are just a nice touch to life; don’t ever allot too much pressure or weight towards them.

If a woman judges you for some of the things you don’t yet have - car, own spot, etc... flip it back on her and make her seem like the one with the issue; because in reality her fears are coming through more than yours in that scenario. Plus, someone who is judgemental does not align with your frame. So at that point; bye Felicia!

And hey, you may not always get the girl even when everything is on point. But always get closer to knowing your self worth.

And as for the digestive issues. Try some
New diets and maybe go see someone about that.

I had digestive issues too. Then I started eating less meat, dairy, and gluten products.. boom.. I feel fantastic.
And not to get all spiritual on here, however some of our bodily issues are correlated with how we view ourselves and the world around us. Stress shows up in very interesting ways.

>always stay nice
>member since Wednesday

 

[claudolfgeorgini]

Your problem could be neediness.

BUT I think your problem may also be FEAR on the girl's part.

Most women will not sleep with you if they think that is all you want.
You have to give them some insurance that you will stick around after sleeping with them.

 

[flowtheory]

>always stay nice
>member since Wednesday

Hahaha!

Getting women is such a small part of our lives. We have to stay true to ourselves and conduct ourselves with a high amount of integrity and kindness towards others.

The vast majority like nice people. And a lot of women want a genuinely nice person; just not a pushover! Just because you’re nice that doesn’t mean you’re not what women want. They don’t crave to be with someone who isn’t nice.
Just because you’re nice doesn’t mean you don’t have a backbone. Men think being nice is weak or lacks masculinity; so they go and be asses and think that’s what women desire or others want to rally around. That’s false.

The nice guy archetype we know here is ‘weakness’ because once upon a time we allowed ourselves to be pushed around and be at the beck and call of another; lacking our own sense of worth. So often people change their personalities from nice and giving, to being selfish. That’s not the way.

To me, It’s about not giving yourself or life up for someone else’s wants; breaking your principles and going against your beliefs. It’s knowing your value and at the same time enriching other people’s lives because that’s the world you desire to live in.

 

[marmel75]

You are the typical nice guy or gay boyfriend (I.E. beta orbiter which in not be putting anything inside of her.) Here's the plan of action.

1) Make some money. Switch that sh!t up. Work during the day, night school and such. You need $$$. I did this when I was in college, not sure why others can't.
2) Get your own car. It could be a beater for a 500 bucks.
3) Get your own pad or live with roommates. Not girl wants to fvck a guy living with mommy & daddy. I'd rather live in a hole in the wall than with my parents.

For the women. Yes, you are chasing, and chasing hard. You are looking like you have no options in their eyes. You chat them up and get their numbers. Wait a few days, CALL NOT TEXT. Chit-chat for a bit and then set a date to meet up. You cannot go for drinks yet, as you are too young. You have no money, so you cannot do an activity. Meetup up at the beach, do a picnic, go to the zoo. If she says yes, then you are game. If no, try one more time a week later. No chit chat on the phone or texting. Phones are for setting dates, not chatting about nothing. Second date is hard for you as you have no car to pick her up. No place to fvck her at. Three, no money to do an activity.

If I was in your position, I'd put the women on hold and work on getting a good paying side job while in school. Save up for a car (PAID IN CASH, NO LOAN) and a pad you can live in either by yourself or with some friends.

Call, text it makes no difference. If they arent initially attracted enough they wont meet up regardless, if they are it doesnt matter. Guys put way too much stock in this like its some magic pill...it isn't. Makes no difference in your success rate long term.

 

[ZaCool]

I'd say mistake one is your constant assertions of "I'm such an attractive guy, I'm basically 11/10, every girl that's ever looked at me loses control of their nervous system and I can literally possess them like the Antichrist."

I've seen 5-6 posts from you now going on about how you're the hottest man any woman has ever seen - and other than that you seem like a cool guy. But that attitude is a major turn off for women and even irritating to read as a man.

Being hot doesn't matter at all if you're an arrogant entitled pr*ck (not saying this is you, just saying). Girls don't have to bang you just because you think you're attractive (or even because you are attractive).

Having abs or a great face increases your sexual value but it doesn't ENTITLE you to anything, and bragging or humblebragging about it just knocks points off big time and usually suggests personality defects like narcissism.

So step 1 - lose the excessive ego, or at least tone it down so it doesn't sound like you're jerking yourself off every time you talk about your interactions with women.

I know i say that alot and youre no the first one to actually tell me that its kinda annoying lol, if iam being honest i have a couple friends who said it was annoying how i keep telling them girls find me attractive ... but after actually hanging out with me few times around women they chagned their mind and now know i wasnt lying or exaggerating .... as for saying it here, i try to give the full picture and not forget any details now matter how minor, if i want a great advice i got to give a great explanation if i describe everything without adding how i look like everyone will assume " alright its an attraction issue, work on building attraction" i know cause i have been told that before before describing my looks ( btw iam not ripped just average body ) .

I remeber reading here and somewhere else that if a guy is good looking and he is acting like he knows he's all that women will usually pass and not be ready to associate themselves with a guy whom they know will leave them whenever he wants cause he has options, so i try to caliberate my approach, and come off as a normal dude who doesnt know how good looking he is .... and it does work i guess since i am not rejected often when i approach women but getting to where i want with them is the issue .

other than that i agree with you

 

[ZaCool]

I believe you could still be successful with women even given the lack of these material belongings.
Lean in to your strengths. If it’s about sex, you can easily fool around with women in public places or ones which are hidden away - her spot even. And if it really comes down to it (she asks), openly tell the woman you live at home because your stockpiling cash, etc because from all the warren buffet books you’ve read, it’s the best move. There is a way to turn all these ‘negatives’ in to positives.

Quick fix: always stay nice; women actually like nice guys - they just don’t like beta pushovers who are eager beavers - so tease her in a fun way and be a challenge. Don’t be an asshol€, but be assertive. And treat every ‘issue’ or rejection like it’s water off a ducks back; you’re alwady abundant in your own personal life and everything is just a cherry on the top otherwise, so it won’t make or break you. Always look at women like they are just a nice touch to life; don’t ever allot too much pressure or weight towards them.

If a woman judges you for some of the things you don’t yet have - car, own spot, etc... flip it back on her and make her seem like the one with the issue; because in reality her fears are coming through more than yours in that scenario. Plus, someone who is judgemental does not align with your frame. So at that point; bye Felicia!

And hey, you may not always get the girl even when everything is on point. But always get closer to knowing your self worth.

And as for the digestive issues. Try some
New diets and maybe go see someone about that.

I had digestive issues too. Then I started eating less meat, dairy, and gluten products.. boom.. I feel fantastic.
And not to get all spiritual on here, however some of our bodily issues are correlated with how we view ourselves and the world around us. Stress shows up in very interesting ways.

I have always had a problem understanding why everyone says women want aszholes and women do sometimes want an aszhole , but overall i see a lot of kind men with attractive women so i know that being nice is not exactly a turn off so i can relate to what youre saying, plus i am just not capable of being a total aszhole to a stranger i barely met who hasnt done anything to me, and even if she has played some games or flaked i still have to no right to be mad, its her life and she can choose to go out with me or not .

in general I have my emotions under control and rarely get mad at women ( if ever ... well happend once ) since you cant force someone to do something, so why get mad if she flakes or refuses to do something with you ? just work to improve (which iam trying to do lol i want to reach a point where she does it cause she wants to not cause of anything else ) , i guess youre right treating women like a nice addition to life instead of the purpose of life is a good way of not f*cking things up and knowing our own self worth .