How did you get rid of it books etc? From what I've read seems to be a tough life long struggle just like any other addictive behavior such as drinking etc.
A few things.
Books, videos, audio stuff.
No more mr nice guy was good, spaetanlifecoach has some decent stuff, a lot of "game" stuff is good for it too
It was not a quick process, i had to immerse myself in the material for as i say a good year.
Once i filled in the lack of knowledge, and began to actually look at myself and the way i behaved, i realized i was actually a scumbag, this is something that codependents often dont realize, they victimize themselves and feel they are innocent but actually they are devious, bitter *******s.
This was me. My BPD ex and i played games on each other, i was just as bad as her in terms of selfishness but she was just a better manupulator. Once i realized we were both messed up in different ways and stopped blaming her i was able to fix myself.
I started to change my thinking. I'd catch myself thinking like a codependent and stop myself from doing it, i got quicker and quicker at doing that until it just stopped entirely.
Then i had to put a lot if effort into myself, gym, sorting out my career etc. Codependents never work on self improvement or realize they have to be what they want to attract, they are lazy and feel like they are owed everythibg for being a "good person" (even though they are actually ****s)
It was NOT easy, it took a year plus, 100s of hours of studying, but it is doable and once you are out if it, as far as i can see there is no going back. You cant go back to sleep once you are self aware. But i think most codependents don't put the hard yards in and look for quick fixes.
The positive of coming out the other side is it makes you a pretty chill person, you realize everyone is dealing with their own **** and dont take things personally. You realize life should be enjoyed.
