entering in a relationship before having sex!?

[nismo-4]

I have been in this kind of setup...i'm telling you, it's not worth the wait to have a relationship without even having secks, she may be a "quality woman" right now but making you wait for a certain date, or a couple years to do it is not a very good idea. A lot of things could happen in your life during that period of time.

On the other hand, it is okay to wait and play along, maybe for a few days or weeks if she's already experienced (in having secks). I have been in both situations before. Just don't fall "in-love" and get too attached.

Quality woman my black ass! Calling a woman a quality woman because she doesn't want to seem easy is a great way to chase the carrot into the friendzone. The whole time, your princess has been in another castle!

I might as well beat Rollo to this punch. When a woman makes you wait for sex, it's almost never worth the wait. Women always have options, thus they have no problems rejecting men, and know how to choose their feelings towards a man.

Women know that they have power in the 'gina, and also the fact that it's men who genuinely fall in love, not women. A man calls it an exciting romance with a quality woman, but a woman calls it business as usual.

Also, I don't believe in sh*t tests. If a woman likes you, she'll make it easy for you. If not, she'll make you go through mazes with traps and pitfalls.

 

[thorwynn]

@nismo-4: yeah i know you are right, what i'm trying to say is about samthehobit describing "quality girl" (on his post). what i'm trying to say on the other hand about "waiting" is to just spin her around while you have other plates. my english on my last post maybe a little bad i'm from an asian country.

 

[bigneil]

These days, the term "quality woman" is an oxymoron.

There is no timetable on when she will ask for a relationship, but it will occur AFTER sex. Maybe months after.

Sex must happen in the first 60 days of dating IMO or it "times out".

When I met the stripper we had sex within 15 minutes, record time even for strippers. When sex happens that fast, they are always weak to you, even if you paid.

 

[Cassify]

guys sometimes you have pretty good advice
but you have to stop with this paranoic bull**** of getting friendzoned everytime things are not going well with a girl -_-"

 

[Iceberg]

guys sometimes you have pretty good advice
but you have to stop with this paranoic bull**** of getting friendzoned everytime things are not going well with a girl -_-"

Well, I wouldn't call it paranoia to think that if you're dating a woman who refuses to have sex with you, then you're on the path to the friendzone.

I assume we're talking about adults here. If we're talking about 12 years old, then I would encourage them to date without having sex. Adults have sex. If a woman wants to date you for a month before having sex, then that's fair. If a woman wants to enter a relationship with you before having sex, that's ridiculous.

Maybe you expected us to say "Yes, relationships without sex happen all the time. It's great. It's beautiful."??

 

[roflzaur]

If I sleep with a woman too early, I instinctively loose respect for her and her ability to hold back.

Relationships that have worked out for me is where we wait to see if we like each other besides sex, as chump as that sounds.

 

[Purefilth]

If I sleep with a woman too early, I instinctively loose respect for her and her ability to hold back.

Relationships that have worked out for me is where we wait to see if we like each other besides sex, as chump as that sounds.

same here, if i get it too easy, i hold zero repect for her

 

[DonJuanabe]

Knock it off guys. You are making sex into some sort of religious event or something. It is two people making each other feel good, got it? What is this BS about losing respect for a girl because she wants to feel good and make you feel good?

If you want to keep a girl you need to bond with her through sex and cause endorphins to be produced in her brain that are associated with you. If a girl is giving you signals that she wants you to F her you need to do it. You want to play a game of control? Go for it and risk that she meets someone else a couple days later who infatuates her with his game. That happened to me in the spring and I'll never let it happen again. You are sexual -- you never discuss it or verbalize it but you always demonstrate it. Don't fool yourself with some righteous crap about respect or friendship.

 

[drak_ool]

You guys are deluded, have you ever thought that maybe she's actually a quality girl.

totally wrong mentality, but I forgive you, you're only 18

Some of the most high quality girls I've been with (loyal to the core, adored me, never flirted with other guys in front of me, smart, employed and moving up in the world, etc...), we've had sex without ever having a "talk" about it, let alone the girl forcing me to postpone it til after we begin some sort of phantasmagoric sexless "relationship."

Some of the biggest slvts I've banged, on the other hand, wouldn't stop talking about relationships, dating, and holding off sex. Next thing you know, the night ends with me tittie fvcking her and coming all over her face after the first or second date. Talk about a quality girl!

My point is: just because she talks the "good girl" talk doesn't mean she is one. Most likely than not, a truly "good" girl doesn't have to prove her quality to you by holding back on sex because she knows what her value is.

 

[Deep Dish]

Roissy wrote commentary on a scientific study which found…

In an analysis of relationship surveys, UI sociologist Anthony Paik found that average relationship quality was higher for individuals who waited until things were serious to have sex compared to those who became sexually involved in “hookups,” “friends with benefits,” or casual dating relationships.

But having sex early on wasn’t to blame for the disparity. When Paik factored out people who weren’t interested in getting serious, he found no real difference in relationship quality. That is, couples who became sexually involved as friends or acquaintances and were open to a serious relationship ended up just as happy as those who dated and waited.

Abstinence counselors, prudes and Promise Keepers wept.

“We didn’t see much evidence that relationships were lower quality because they started off as hookups,” said Paik, an assistant professor in the UI College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. “The study suggests that rewarding relationships are possible for those who delay sex. But it’s also possible for true love to emerge if things start off with a more ‘Sex and the City’ approach, when people spot each other across the room, become sexually involved and then build a relationship.”

Pure, feral lust is a necessary prerequisite to romantic love. A love not undergirded by animal lust is not a romantic love at all. It is, at best, a companionate love, or an affectionate love, or a phony love that two losers convince themselves to feel when no other options are available. So why delay the inevitable? If you feel hot for each other, go ahead and consummate on the first date! You won’t poison any budding relationship that might follow.​

Passionate relationships begin... passionately. Shocking.

 

[bigneil]

same here, if i get it too easy, i hold zero repect for her

Is this really true, or is it just that you had sex with a woman you never would have respected?

Pure, feral lust is a necessary prerequisite to romantic love. A love not undergirded by animal lust is not a romantic love at all. It is, at best, a companionate love, or an affectionate love, or a phony love that two losers convince themselves to feel when no other options are available. So why delay the inevitable? If you feel hot for each other, go ahead and consummate on the first date! You won’t poison any budding relationship that might follow.[/indent]Passionate relationships begin... passionately. Shocking.

I agree with this.

When 2 people meet and have sex right away, you might say it's unnatural, but in reality it is the most natural thing possible. Society has imposed so many taboos that we can easily lose sight of what life is about.

However, when I was growing up I had so little sex I wanted to believe it was bad and that nice girls didn't do that (and our moms brainwash us). I couldn't accept that they would have done it immediately had they been attracted to me, so I demonized girls for having sex and would even lose respect for those who had sex with me.

But then I learned this fundamental law of dating (which I think came from SS.com circa '02):

* Before a woman has sex she is thinking of all the reasons NOT to (and keeping a list).
* Before a man has sex he is thinking of all the reasons TO.

* After a woman has sex she is thinking of all the reasons TO.
* After a man has sex he is thinking of all the reasons NOT to.

So you must have sex with her ASAP or the list gets too long!

While you won't lose respect for (really hot) girls who have sex right away, you won't put them on a pedestal either, which is the right mindset.